Strictly Come Dancing 17 – It Takes Two Week 3

Now on at a DECENT HOUR!

Monday

Suitably enough for Movie Week, Steve is off at an awards show, so Donald is here to cover the Monday Night “Chris is dead tired from recapping” Show

Nicola Sturg-I mean, Anton DuBeke

Am I the only one seeing this? Am I? (Donald, I am leaving this in as I would never edit out anything you write wholesale, as I am a respectful and benevolent editor, but YES – Monkseal) Lets face it, it would be another great one to add to the CV, a politicians themed opening routine, Karen can play Maggie Thatcher, make it happen Gilky!

Anneka and Kevin:

Ahem. We kick off the night with a brief amble through Anneka’s JURNEE through the power of dance from a stiff spined Cha Cha, to a less stiff spined TOUCHING waltz, to a stiff spined charleston. Truly, a Strictly journey for the ages, never seen befo- oh, Gloria Hunniford did this one? It’s been about 15 series, lets wrap this one up. Anneka understandably is a little sad to be leaving Strictly having fallen in love with dance (not the Charleston though, that blahddy pile of shite) and I think that Kevin ended up being a perfect partner for her. They would have done a Paso Doble this week (lol) which would have included a tool-belt and a water pistol, and beeb, couldn’t you have swapped out the Charleston for that? THAT would have been a firework to go out on.

For a shop front mannequin, I think its great that Kevin managed to get at least one decent dance out of her, and that she can leave Strictly with her head held high and one good dance under her belt. We’ll see you again next year, Glasses Kevin! You’ll get a ringer again one day, go home to Stace’ and practice some ‘doble (oo-er). Anyway, Anneka has bought THREE DRESSES and transformed into, I dunno, a woman who…buys dresses. I’LL DRINK TO THAT! We’ll always have ‘Anneka’, Anneka.

THE VISCOUNTESS and Aljaz

Aw, these two are sweet, aren’t they? However, I tell you now

whoever wrote this caption backstage has already been fired and is back on the coach to Skegness, how very dare they. SHE’S NO MAID, SHE’S ROYALTY. We discover that Emma worked extra hard on her character work last week as she ‘really wanted to get the character across’, lol ok hun, you definitely weren’t thinking ‘THEY HAVEN’T EVEN PRESSED THE MAID’S UNIFORM, YOU WOULDN’T GET THIS ON THE ESTATE!’ TELL GERTRUDE TO COME DOWN TO LONDON AND GIVE THESE PLEBS A LESSON IN PRESSING!’ Anyway, Emma found the foxtrot tricky (who doesn’t babes?), but hoped that she got across a dreamy, soft and elegant performance. For me? Emma needs to find her inner showgirl – a little more pizzazz will make all the difference to her performances. Right now it’s a bit placed, a bit ‘filler’, and she’s at a danger of getting lost between Alex and Emma B in the under-performing stakes. After Aljaz rings his bell (oy oy, Chris is perking up somewhere), he explains that yes, the slower the dance, the harder the dance, and he feels that Emma was able to show off a decent level of technique.

Emma will be jiving this week, and good lord this will be a holy train-wreck, I cannot WAIT. We get a little memorial ‘jive is easy for small people’ speech from Aljaz, and seriously, can we stop this already? Your height has nothing to do with your jiving abilities, IT’S ALL A LIE. More interestingly (at least for me), is the fact that Emma cooks lunch for Aljaz every day in the village hall. I’m betting it’s SALMON, SALMON EVERY DAY! IT HAS DELICIOUS NUTRIENTS! Disclaimer: there’s going to be wallography in their Jive, let’s start praying now.

Katya’s Koreography Korner

I mean, you can practically hear Ride of the Valkyries in the background can’t you? I NAVE MISSED YOU, YOU ABSOLUTELY VILLAINOUS GLAMOROUS RANDO. Has there ever been a more villainous pro, I think not. Also, It’s been a while, but WHAT IS THIS ACCENT? It’s very…transatlantic? Katya will be here both tonight AND tomorrow night (Chris will be DELIGHTED). Approps nada, her thoughts tonight were:

– David and Nadiya: I got a decent dance out of Phil Tuffnell, this b*tch can’t get a decent Viennesse Waltz out of a HANDSOME FOOTBALLER, I’M READY TO COME BACK (lol jk, it was just kind platitudes)
– Catherine and Johannes: Katya loved their beautiful basic rumba, Catherine can really dance (which she can, I think nehrves got the better of her last week), Johannes choreographed very well, this girl is a CONTENDER RYLAN!
Michelle and Gio: her head is beautifully connected to her back (her posture is beautiful, basically) and is a superstar, dahling. We get a demonstration on correct ballroom posture, and I’m saying it now: BRING THIS WOMAN BACK. Katya shows some good teaching, and reminds me why I loved her in the first place. Give her a contender, I dare you evil Moira Stewart.
Dev and Dianne: Dev is a natural dancer, she loved his armography. She gets in a dig at how Dev will cope with a ‘traditional ballroom/Latin dance’, and god, can she do this every week? I’ll start the Justgiving Page.

Make-up Department

Have been eliminated from this recap on the basis of some terrible, TERRIBLE make up this week. Get some of those Drag Race girls in, even Sum Ting Wong’s hairline wasn’t as harsh as some of that eyeliner, ladies. Step it up.

Mike and Katya

Rylan, that book is NOT going to show you how big Mike’s hose is…God, that’s an image, isn’t it? (Google hits just for you, Chris). Oh good lord it gets worse, the fastforward/rewind of Mike on the pole just gave me palpatations of the bad kind – this is pre-watershed, Beeb!

Honestly, we go through their Cha Cha (easily the worst dance to ‘It’s Raining Men’ on the show, neva4get Kimbotley’s gaymazing fusion), and I’m so ready for these two to get eliminated, it’s Hollins all over again, I’m having night terrors already. Once we have our niceties done, we revisit Katya’s second consecutive year of making a tit of herself (‘falling over’), and she gets some flowers for falling arse over tit, and ‘not being drunk’. This week Mike and Katya will be Quickstepping to ‘Come on Eileen’, and to be honest I just hope that this is at least danced with a dearth of props and theme-ing, we had to stomach Auntie Anita and Robin samba-ing through this, let’s cut this one loose.

That’s all from me this week, normal service will resume tomorrow night with the high priestess herself. G’night!

Tuesday

David & Nadiya : I do find it kind of funny that, after they were his official first evah It Takes Two interview, and it was kind of stilted, that Rylan just keeps on circling back to these two, over and over again. It’s like they’re destined to grow into their Strictly experiences together, and if you ever told me before that somewhere in life Rylan Clarke-Neal and David James would end up being soul sisters then…I probably would have kept walking down the street and picked my pace up a little. Anyway, the theme here was that David is a new man in Rylan’s eyes

although I think that might just be the hair. If not, whether it was driving in Batman’s Vroom Vroom, or flying in on a wire, or the fact that he posted a (by his own maths) 60% score increase week on week, or just general attrition, David now claims he is feeling the music, comfortable in the dance, and ready to move on. No post dance-off crisis of confidence THIS week. He may live to show us his Safety Sex-Face yet! This week he has the quickstep, and will be dancing it to some song from The Greatest Showman, because apparently there were SO many good ideas flying around Movie Week that we just couldn’t fit them all in, and they’ve come spilling out the sides.

Katya’s Khoreography Korner : Back and

no longer awkwardly matching the set, and therefore free to slag off the fashions of all and sundry! Alex should NOT have been doing the rumba in bare feet, Karim should NOT have been doing the samba wearing all that fur, and frankly, Mike’s outfit made him look like a STRIPPER! Ok, maybe not that one, but suffice it to say that if Katya was in charge of Theme Weeks, everyone would be dressed very differently. More like Chris & Karen in fact, as she was full of praise for his outfit and if that mean ol CRAIG starts focusing on, like, the DANCING again, he should just click his fingers instead of wafting his hands. Much better. Other than that? Emma Weymouth needs to sort her spine and back muscles out pronto, Emma Barton needs to learn how to get silly (in her upcoming Viennese Waltz to Send In The Clowns) and Will’s paso doble should have looked like a suitcase going around the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport. Which is where Katya is off to now to like the glamorous transtlantic lifestyle that’s tugging her accent around after it. BYEEEE!

Behind The Seams : Another Vicky Giggles segment here, this time focusing on what happens behind the scenes in wardrobe on a big deal night like Movie Week. I’ll be honest, the segment didn’t really deliver on what we’re all interested in, within this particular genre of filler

One celeb, sort of without trousers? NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Tunes On Tuesday : Firstly

has there been a more adorable sight on this show in a good long while than Johannes and David getting their mime on together, no there has not. This was of course in reference to Emma B’s song choice this week of “Send In The Mimes”…sorry, “Send In The Clowns”, for her Viennese Waltz. Otherwise, Emma B is doing her jive to “Kids In America” (I mean, it’s a banger, but I’m not sure it was worth the level of secrecy they were affording it yesterday), and Chris will also be doing a jive, and as a bonus, here’s me telling my husband what he’s dancing to in our twitter DMS

by Elton John.

Diamond & Precious : These being the names that Catherine and Johannes have given one another, respectively, for their Charleston performance to Single Ladies this week. They honestly do get more and more stage school by the minute don’t they? PARTICULARLY Johannes, who spent a lot of their brief interview time gassing “Cat” up insanely, talking about how SENSATIONAL she was, to the level of a PROFESSIONAL DANCER, he thinks it was because Shallow is just such an AMAZING SONG by a TRUE ARTIST Lady Gaga. How much would you pay to have Johannes gush all over y…let me rephrase that. I think we could all do with a cheerleader like Johannes in our lives, there we go. Otherwise, if this interview was sponsored like Sesame Street, it was by the number 8, as Rylan asked Catherine in about three different ways how excited she was to get an 8, multiple 8s, a whole row of 8s. Turns out VERY. She’d also always dreamed of scoring an 8, her favourite after dinner snack is the After Eight, her favourite Quentin Tarrantino movie is The Hateful Eight, and her favourite size is eight inches. IN A PIZZA, BE QUIET. As mentioned, this week the pair of them have the Charleston to “Single Ladies” and on the evidence of this interview, I have to say, her boobs will not survive it unless she gets a better bra. Even the little preview movements she was doing on the sofa was sending them crazy, I really don’t want our first Scandal Of The Series in Week 4, we’ve been doing so well!

Wednesday

ZOE’S BACK! : And fully recovered! Well…mostly recovered. 80%. Her voice is only a little bit raspy, she’s fine guys, back in her kingdom, back on her throne, definitely not infectious, SHE’S FINE! Fortunately, just in case Zoe did suffer a relapse mid-episode

Dr Waite was on hand and ready to provide medical assistance. I’ll tell you for this much – you’d never get away those trousers in the NHS.

Alex & Neil : Although, speaking of fashion,

it’s October Neil. I know those of us who are naturally pale have to take our chances to tan where we may, and the studio lights are probably on very high but…October. Anyway, Alex’s long awaited Big Breakthrough still to come, Neil pulled out all the weapons in the Jurnee Celeb pro arsenal to buy her a little more time here. Alex has NEVER DANCED BEFORE! And she’s NOT A PERFORMER! And she’s PERFORMING JUST A LITTLE BETTER EVERY WEEK! Don’t say he hasn’t learnt anything sat on the bench. Speaking of gradual improvement, Zoe revealed today that Alex is the first contestant ever ever ever to increase their score incrementally by one point each time over their first three dances. Which is true! The closest we’ve come before was with Claire & Brendan (21-22-24) and Colin & Kristina (23-24-26). And now the show is reliably getting their stats accurate maybe they can work on…making them in any way interesting? We also got a video message from Alex’s niece congratulating her authenticity as Moana, and Alex saying that kids on the street have thought she WAS Moana. No word as to whether anyone has thought Janette was a pokeymon. Or if Aljaz asked her to keep the ears. This week these two have a tango to “Go Your Own Way”, and Alex has officially come up with two jazzy character names for herself and Neil – “Spicy Scott” and “Brad Lee Jones”. It’s no “Precious & Diamond” is it? And CERTAINLY no “Tallulah The Tango Queen”.

Waite’s Wednesday Warm-Up : A bumper crop on the Warm-Up tonight, and let’s be honest, the major headline here is that I hope to God they picked the worst available footage of Saffron & AJ’s contemporary rehearsals for shits and giggles because goodness me. Otherwise David & Nadiya seem to have ignored the fact he’s been given quickstep and have opted to do a Charleston instead (TAKE THAT ANNEKA) ; Chris has good weight distribution in his jive but needs to stop gawking at Karen (good luck!) ; it was hard to tell whether Emma B’s looking good because someone decided to put the footage of her rehearsals through slow-mo jerky cam ; THE VISCOUNTESSESSESSESSSES jive is looking better than you’d expect but she still needs to stretch her feet more ; Mike’s looking light and frothy but needs to sync his movements with Katya’s…at all ; Karim’s tango is looking too smiley, with his hips too open and his shoulders too far back ; and still nobody is mentioning that Catherine’s tits are going to kill someone IT’S YOUR FUNERAL GUYS!

Just Amy : Yes, for the second year in a row, Amy found herself alone again, naturally, on It Takes Two

as Karim has the flu (*suggestive eyes to Zoe*). A very fair and balanced interview from Amy here, as she admitted that Karim was a little too sharp and staccato in his samba, and that the outlandish animal outfits had mixed blessings (“helped us get into character” vs “reeked of piss and I passed out from heat exhaustion 5 seconds after I got off stage”). Still, as far as she’s concerned, as long as Karim’s really enjoying himself, that’s all matters, and he says he is so…HOORAY. Also making an appearance here, in absentia Karim, was

his glam mum, who apparently made soothing meatballs and had them delivered to the studio for Amy to take back to Karim. Hopefully not from those ingredients. Also apparently Zoe scoffed half the meatballs herself, which just goes to show what happens when you try to get your balls through a middleman. IT DOESN’T WORK! This week the pair of them are dancing their tango to “Paradise” by George Ezra, which is one of those songs I didn’t know I’d heard before until they played it out loud, so TICK IT OFF. Sadly due to the lurgy and Karim’s heavy work schedule, they haven’t really trained much but hey, it’s the tango, what’s the worst that could happen?

Oh right.

Emma & Anton : Really, they tried their best, but they could only avoid the most obvious topic of discussion for so much of the interview

just how cheap and nasty the props are on this show these days. Either that or Amy is remembering the last time she was here alone and is staging an impromptu tribute to Dwayne Dibbley. That and “Teethgate” anyway which, to be honest, Anton doesn’t seem OVERLY amused about but he’s lived through worse mockery on this show ie being asked to dance latin when it’s a load of old shit. At any rate, Anton being mocked for aspects of his physical appearance that he can’t help on national television certainly seems to have loosened Emma up, as she spent most of this interview actually looking alive! Which is definitely a start! She enjoyed all the crazy fun of that salsa and now is ready to move onwards to the Viennese Waltz, to “Send In The Clowns”, especially as she’s a MASSIVE STEPHEN SONDHEIM FAN! Try to look surprised. (Can you believe that of the soapies, she and Catherine were both in the original cast and it was Kelvin drafted in later? This show’s commitment to diverse casting in personalities ever evident). Anyway, Anton rambled on for so long about the story he’s going to tell and all the wonderful technical ballroom moves he’s going to have his actress muse do, that he went almost all the way over the end of the credits tonight. He sure does love ballroom.

Thursday

Will & Janette : First of all, I’m not saying there’s a whole PANOPLY of pokemon jokes available to tell that a mainstream audience would get, but maybe don’t start your interview by just nicking the one Joe Suggs did only 6 days ago on the exact same show, WILL. Do one about Jigglypuff, get the show taken off air. Also, Janette has apparently started referring to herself, unbidden, in the third person, as “The Latin Sensation”, which is frankly concerning. Anyway, headline news here was the fact that their pokemon paso doble worked better than anyone expected, in that it didn’t get them eliminated. Retroactively. Five series ago. Janette was very proud of Will, Will was very proud of Will, all good. This week they’ve got the foxtrot, and will be dancing it to Senorita by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, the Liza Minnelli and David Gest of Generation Z, very much hopping from the “what the fuck?” frying pan into the “eh?” fire, as far as song choices go. From the raining footage, it does look like, with the foxtrot, we’re hitting the point where Will can’t just rely on charging about enthusiastically and where his disability is really going to start impeding his movement, as the foxtrot is ALL ankle baby. And that’s why we all love it!

Waite’s Thursday Throw-Up : Only five people left to cover after yesterday’s flurry. Dev probably looking the best of the five with his cha cha, although it’s hard to tell how much Ian appreciated Kelvin’s rumba technique, because he was too busy fretting over whether he shaves his legs. I mean, it would show commitment to the DAHNCE at least. Otherwise Michelle’s salsa looks to be her weakest dance so far (albeit still fairly competent), Alex’s tango is looking ok but she’s a little too upright and she’s losing contact with Neil on occasion and Will…yeah. Will vs Saffron as bottom two on the leaderboard looking like a very real possibility here YOU MIGHT BE IN LUCK DAVID, CHARLESTON TO VICTORY! (/third from bottom) (and then still eliminated)

Michelle Visage & Giovanni Pernice : First of all

I love it when a contestants glasses match their earrings. A very social meeds heavy interview tonight, as Zoe dipped into the twitters twice


that second one is definitely that phrasing being used in the complimentary sense, not the “WHY DON’T THEY JUST GO THE WHOLE HOG AND CALL IT STACEY COME DANCING!!!!!” sense, I’m sure. (Also no surprise someone into Giovanni in lippy and £2 eyeliner has a Rum-Tum-Tugger avatar). Michelle appreciated the support but she still can’t watch herself back without criticising herself to death, because she’s a JUDGE Zoe, that’s what she DOES, that’s her JOB, she can’t HELP IT (on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK Coming Soon To BBC 3 Starring Michelle Visage) (don’t watch this week, it’s an acting challenge). This week Michelle and Giovanni will be dancing a salsa to Quimbara, by Celia Cruz, meaning that all three of the female artists who Michelle has danced to thus far this series have been imitated by drag queens as part of Snatch Game on Drag Race US.



See? (The Liza won) (It was not a strong Snatch Game that year). Giovanni has decided their salsa is going to be very basic, and completely devoid of lifts and trick, meaning it’s an increasingly good year for those of us who think lifts are mostly kinda pointless.

Let’s Get Fucked With Vicky Gill : This week Emma B will be wearing CHAMPAGNE OVER HAEMATITE!

Dev & Dianne : Zoe Ball took her life into her hands tonight by pointing out that Dev actually scored higher with Dianne in Couples Choice Street Commercial Urban Hip Hop Terwilliger Hutz McClure than Joe did, meaning they in fact work better together, are even more meant to be, and now she has to dump Joe and get with Dev. Sorry kids, it’s MATHS, don’t blame me, that’s just how it works, you’ll understand when you’re older. (Also Zoe I think at one point called Dev the “O-Genie of the Lamp”, which if it was intentional was very well done, congratulations It Takes Two scriptwriters). It wasn’t all plain sailing though, as we finally discussed that one lift that went wrong in training and almost killed Dianne, so it had to be taken out. Mostly because it freaked Dev out, Dianne didn’t really care. She’s a dancer, she knows she could die at any time, that’s the life she chose, she’s comfortable with that. Ultimately though, Dev will carry the memory of that dance with him forever. Also the blue paint under his eyelids and up his bum. INTO THE GRAVE. This week the pair of them have a cha cha to “Dancing With A Stranger” by Sam Smith. For the % of you into Kelvin’s body but not his face, here’s Dev’s head on his

Latin Body. I have to say…I’m not opposed.

Friday

Saffron & AJ : Nice to have a little reminder of Saffron’s routine here as, due to the fact that she got voted out of the recap, I’ve only watched it once thus far. And let’s face it, barely that. Saffron was very glad that her inner Katpiss…sorry “Katniss” came out in the Hunger Games, as she channeled her the most fierce and warrior-like part of herself, whilst AJ enjoyed tarting around in skintight pleather, just in case Attitude were running out of ideas for future photoshoots. Saffron is still a little bit in “were you covered in bruises after Saturday Saffron?” “yes I was covered in bruises after Saturday Zoe” mode but the extra bonus thoughts are coming through now. Slowly. She doesn’t like slow dances like the paso because they’re tests of balance and hers is crap. There, there’s one. AJ addressed gamely the fact there were no Spanish lines in the paso, saying it was because it was HUNGER GAMES themed, and I know all the fans of the book kicked off because they cast a black person in the film, but you can probably get away with “Spanish” AJ. Certainly the

level of tan in display here was shooting rapidly past Iberia and on towards the other side of the Mediterranean anyway. This week they are doing Contemporary, to Saffron’s nan’s favourite song “Because You Loved Me” and she’s going to be there, and she’s going to be crying with joy and pride just at the beauty of the song itself which, based on the training footage, is a good job.

The Friday Panel : More teething problems here, as the combination of Zoe, Rylan with a hangover (what a legend, it’s only week 3 and he’s turning up raddled, I knew he was the right choice), the never-not eager to talk Richard Osman, Tom Allen Doing That Voice Non-Stop, and a sundry third guest who ALSO had opinions in the form of Nikki Chapman

looking very much like a young Elaine Paige here, meant that this segment frequently dissolved into five people just yammering over one another. I think the highlight was Tom and Richard’s brief attempt to get a running gag going about radiators going to cover Richard’s complete lack of interest in talking about the dancing meeting Rylan just repeatedly batting the focus back to Nikki, who was at least here to talk about something other than fixtures and fittings. Anyway, Richard likes all the underdog men and doesn’t care about the pretty boys, Tom can’t stand Mike Bushell, or contemporary dancing, or the thought of poor sad Baron von Biscuits sat at home crying into his fig roll pillow, and Nikki just went in on David’s lack of personality, savagely, making this the second Friday Panel that existed mostly to maul the poor man. LET HIM BE – NOBODY’S VOTING FOR HIM, HE’S GETTING CRAP MARKS, JUST LET HIM LEAVE AT SOME POINT IN THE NEXT ONE TO THREE WEEKS WITH A BIT OF DIGNITY. Speaking of which

lol Tom is short.

Gethin’s Homoerotic Backstage Adventures : Not sure which was the homoerotic highlight of today’s segment

the palpable sexy tension between Karim and Gethin as Amy wasted away slowly into a pile of green gunk in the corner, the latest host for whatever virus is attacking everyone backstage this year (also they made her do that stupid mime game, THE WOMAN WASN’T WELL, LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU DO THE MIMES WITH KARIM GETHIN, RUMBA FIRST!) OR the interview with Dev where he revealed that after his routine done up as the genie of the lamp he took a shower in the male pros dressing room. Now many a time I’ve imagined someone being blue in the male pro showers, although it has to be said usually it was Pash[PUNCHLINE REDUCTION]. In other backstage adventure news, Emma B is still trying to get Anton’s notorious love of a cup of tea and a bun over as a running gag, and Emma W


still looks at everyone a bit like that. You know, the old “and what is it that you do?” Also (*extremely Your Nan Voice*) ISN’T MIKE GETTING THIN?!

Kelvin & Oti : Of course there was only one topic of conversation on everyone’s mind here, as Kelvin made Strictly history by breaking through a hitherto-for unshattered Strictly boundary this week, by only going and SHAVING HIS LEGS! (Also by getting multiple 10s in Week 3, but mostly the shaving the legs thing). Apparently, as having hairy legs is causing him a lot of problems with his after-show massages, pain wise (?), Kelvin opted to shave one leg, showed Oti the result to “see what she thought”, and then completely ignored her when she told him not to shave the other one. TYPICAL MAN! WHY DID HE EVEN ASK IF HE WAS JUST GONNA IGNORE HER ANYWAY? Anyway, on to those 10s, I guess. If we must. Oti was left with the tricky task of having to explain away the fact she’d spent a lot of last week saying that she didn’t want Kelvin to be perfect in Week 2…but apparently now it’s fine in Week 3. Oti of course dealt with this discrepancy in a very Oti manner – basically saying she doesn’t really care that Kelvin got some 10s because he’s bound to get loads more, so who’s counting? Attagirl. SLAM into that reverse gear! MOAR 10S PLEASE! Kelvin for his part was of course very humble, and said that this is a new week and a new dance and a clean slate, and he’s moving on. TO RUMBA! Where, let’s face it…10s are unlikely. Never mind though, Kelvin is now in the 10 Club, nothing can take that away from him and look at the glamorous trophy he got as a

…oh. (Also I am choosing not to acknowledge Rylan cussing out those of us who correct this show’s stats on twitter, we correct because we care! As long as you stay ahead of Jeremy Vine, basic numeracy wise, we should be ok).

Chris & Karen : It’s nice to know that, whilst Chris is trial-running a number of new comedy faces during his wait for his name to be called in the Results Show

he still has time for the original and best. He’ll never forget his roots that one. Mostly light jostling for position here from these two in the race to be this year’s Heir To Hollins, as they didn’t want to overplay the bumper hand they’d been given by Saturday night – a double whammy of “Oooh lovely proper suit and tails” and “oooh MEAN OLD CRAIG!”. So they went for the usual tactical pincer movement of Chris saying he accepts the judges opinion, because they’re experts and he’s not, with Karen quietly and decorously seething next to him about how her woobie was done wrong. Otherwise Chris stayed on safe comedic territory, with a little routine about how difficult it was to go for a piss in that combination dress-shirt & thong get-up Vicky Giggles had him in. I can only imagine. As can Shirley probably. (THE PHYSIQUE!). To be honest, Chris seemed more affronted at being left towards the end than by Craig’s 4 in which case I can only suggest to stop with the faces. This week they have a jive to “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting”, which looked anywhere from surprisingly competent to rough as badgers arses from the clips shown, so LET’S WAIT AND SEE!

Scouting For Girls : No

19 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 17 – It Takes Two Week 3

  1. julesbee2014

    The best thing was Anneka basically saying that they’d been shafted by the producers, with no choice in the movie or song, which they hated. She wasn’t ever going to be around for long, but they were very poorly served this week. Rarely have a movie, song and dance genre been further apart, beyond even Tarantino-esque levels of irony. Go Anneka!

    Reply
    1. isolde

      It felt like the Show of Truth tonight – Anneka’s comments about the producers, and Katya saying there was no Charleston in Kelvin’s Charleston.

      Reply
      1. Nicky91

        the viscountess jiving to kids in america LMAO, i can already imagine that being so freaking hilariously bad

        Kelvin and Oti a rumba to ain’t no Sunshine though, wow i’m a guy but that sounds HOT, with a good bit of potential of another top of leaderboard banger

        Michelle salsa to real latin salsa music instead of disco salsa also sounds good 🙂

  2. ChaChaChavvy

    Loved Anneka almost going the full Jamelia but with Kevin going slightly ashen, rather than chortling away like Tristan.

    Reply
  3. LightFantastic

    Well said Anneka. You were well and truly dropped in it. If say, Michelle and Gio had to Charleston to *that* music would it have gone well for them? I do think it was her week to go but it would have been good to go out with something better than that car crash of a dance.

    Reply
    1. StormyTV

      I dunno, I think even if Anneka had been given a pure 20’s Charleston to the Holy Charleston Tune of “Fat Sam’s Grand Slam” and nothing more outrageous to wear than a feather headband, she would have been JUST as horrific at dancing it.

      Reply
    2. Plinkiplonk

      The thing is – I am convinced somebody stumbled across a movie still of Uma Thurman and realised that there was a slight resemblance to Anneka, and that’s how that unholy mess came about. I don’t think this was a theme that she just randomly ended up with.

      Reply
  4. Pops

    Send in the Clowns is featured very prominently in Joker – if they’d used it for Anton and Emma B in movie week, “ha ha marvellous” could have taken on a whole new and even more unsettling dimension.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Isn’t “Rock And Roll Part 2” by Gary Glitter also prominently featured in Joker? I mean, if they really wanted controversy to provoke a ratings spike…

      Reply
  5. Matthew Thomas

    Watching It Takes Two with mother tonight, who wondered if Amy was going to get a benched pro to dance with her for the Saturday and had to be reminded of who was the celeb and who was the professional dancer, although to be fair I can she where she slipped up.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I’ll say this as delicately as I can – I’m surprised anyone can read Amy as someone who would regularly appear on television in a speaking capacity.

      Reply
    1. WH-wcs

      Ahh- just been told that there’s a Scarlett on Apprentice. I still don’t get the subtleties, but it makes a tiny bit more sense to me now.
      Or- still a cross contamination typo.

      Reply
      1. monkseal Post author

        Oh no, it was an error. I never have the names down 100% this early, you can ask my husband about me being sat there on the sofa doing the “who’s next?” poll for the end of the results show and going “ALEX?……ALEX?………………..SCOTT!” out loud (and similar) (for everyone)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.