12. Yvie’s Book Launch
So this is going to become the usual ranking of this year’s Snatch Game performances in a minute, but it would be remiss of me not to mention the Mini Challenge, which was basically a redo of the Memoir challenge from Series 2, but with the need to pimp out Absolut Berry Acai (aka the best bit) removed. And it really was the worst part of the episode, with Yvie leaning into every “weirdo” crutch at once, and delivering a really off-putting collection of tics and “I EAT BABIES!!!” as her official platform. Of course Silky won just by yelling about food, but she did it with energy and charisma, and nobody else truly stood out (except maybe Vanjie, when she forgot her own name) so fair enough.
11. Brooke Lynn Hytes as Celine Dion
I think my favourite part of Brooke’s journey to the bottom this week was the creeping realisation you could see in Vanjie that her boyfriend has no sense of humour. Sure he’s a flexible ballet dancer with a rocking bod and a great sense of style, but can you see Vanjie in a relationship with someone as dry as Brooke? Anyway, her Celine was a complete mess, although she did at least manage to steer herself out of that Jamaican accent she was doing in the werkroom. Nothing about the look was Celine, nothing about the mannerisms were Celine (other than maybe the part where she did a manic dance whilst yelling “POISSON!” over and over again, I’ve seen those youtube compilations, I can see Celine doing that), nothing other than knowing Celine did the Titanic song really counted as a proper Celine reference…it was just painful.
10. Yvie Oddly as Whoopi Goldberg
Yvie spent a lot of energy this week trying to carry on the narrative from last week’s Untucked, declaring herself the truest bitch in the game and the only really honest one there, all whilst offering apologies for her behaviour to Vanjie (which were accepted) and to Silky (lol), and she probably should have redirected some of that energy into preparing for the Snatch Game, because this was a mess. A mess in the other direction to Brooke being a mess (ie trying too hard to the point of utter incoherence, rather than barely showing up) but a mess all the same. The Whoopi visuals were there to a degree, and the gag where she pulled all her trophies out of her cap was funny, but after that…nosedive. I don’t even really know what whole “devil’s lettuce” bit was about but…it certainly did go on for a while.
9. A’Keria C Davenport as Tiffany Hadish
This was one of those Snatch Game characters where you knew it was supposed to be funny, because Ru was laughing away merrily, but if you had to actually say *why* Ru was laughing, you’d most likely come up dry. I know Tiffany Hadish, I’ve seen her causing absolute carnage on The One Show, I watched Girls Trip nothing about this really read as Tiffany Hadish to me other than successfully remembering the grapefruit blowjob and golden shower bits from the film. Still her being safe left her alone on Untucked with Plastique and free to play detective with regards to whether Plastique is in fact a pathological liar about her family circumstances, accent, and knowledge of pop culture, which is a plotline I continue to find mildly baffling. Maybe Plastique is giving off rays off camera that I’m not picking up but…it seems unlikely.
8. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo as Danielle Bregoli
My favourite part of the judging this week was when Michelle pointed out that Vanjie had :
a) not listened to the critique about mixing her silhouette up on the runway
b) not really done a character so much as just burbled out her usual nonsense in a cheap red wig
c) not picked a character with a lot of room for manoeuvre in the first place
d) not successfully improv’d with Ru, and instead had just ploughed through all her questions, all culminating in the worst improv sin of them all, just saying “no” to a suggestion
e) done a random Muppet voice for her first answer, then just dropped it entirely
and both guest judges, Ross, and Ru just went “yeah, but it’s VANJIE!” which is honestly going to be my position every time she messes up from here on out, because it’s entirely valid. She’s just charismatic! I also liked when, as part of her special guest feature walkaround, Jinkx Monsoon told her to be careful about doing a “lowest common denominator” performance, like when Detox pissed all over the stage as Ke$ha, when she may well be compared against more sophisticated nuanced performances, like her own Little Edie. Snatch Game was then won by someone screaming “BIG DICKS BIG DICKS BIG DICKS, 9 INCHES, 22 INCHES, BIG FAT COCKS!”.
7. Nina West as Harvey Fierstein and Joanne Worley
We were promised a lot with Nina West’s Snatch Game this week, as all the girls agreed before it started that it was her time to shine, because she’s a quick witted comedy queen, and has something to prove. And whilst she ended up in the top, I was kind of disappointed with what we got. Maybe it’s because Snatch Game was so truncated this year, and so much of it was taken up with gawping at the twin trainwrecks of Brooke and Yvie, but it felt like she had two prepared intros for her characters and that was all we saw. There wasn’t much of a physical change between the characters, and the Harvey Fierstein voice was way off. Michelle basically summed it up by saying that Ru found it funny because the characters were old-school, so here you are, be a top for the week. She DID look stunning on the runway though, there’s no taking away from that. ELEVATED Party City for sure.
6. Plastique Tiara as Lovely Mimi
Plastique was the one queen this week doing a celebrity for whom I had absolutely no frame of reference, beyond that she’s the sort of stereotypical first generation immigrant “Asian” nail technician we’ve seen on this show a few times now, mostly notably…by Plastique, a few weeks ago. This would feel more like laziness on Plastique’s part if the first words out of Ru’s mouth in the werkroom this week hadn’t been “SILKY, ARE YOU GOING TO BE OPRAH AGAIN, PLEASE BE OPRAH AGAIN, OR OPRAH’S IMAGINARY COUSIN, OR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER CALLED ORPOH WONNFREW WHO IS CONVENIENTLY ENOUGH EXACTLY LIKE OPRAH!”. As one of the two queens last week to get read on lack of personality last week, Plastique came off stronger than Brooke here, mostly because she hitched herself to Silky and formed a double act of sorts, with both of them sniping at one another and feeding off the other’s energy. Good enough for now, although we’ll see how she does when she has to swim alone in next week’s police themed improv challenge.
5. Shuga Cain as Charo
The most definitive Shuga moment this week was when it was revealed that her make-up incorporates a tiny little heart on the very tip of her nose, because she wants to spread love wherever she goes. What a sweetheart – the “Shuga for Miss Congeniality” bandwagon officially begins here (unless she makes the finale I guess) (lol). As for Snatch Game, Shuga made a smart choice in picking a celeb she could do a decent physical impersonation of, both in terms of her make-up and her physicality, and in this Snatch Game (not one of its stronger iterations, let’s face it) that was enough, she didn’t even really need to come up with any jokes beyond saying “CUCHI CUCHI!”.
4. Silky Nutmeg Ganache as TS Madison
A strong showing for Silky this week, as she declared war on Yvie officially for the duration of the competition by telling that as far as she was concerned, calling her talentless was UNFORGIVABLE, then utterly dominated her in the challenge with complete confidence, put out a strong runway look, and took home her second win of the series, nailed down, as has been said, by basically just yelling about dicks. I guess when you pick a porn star to play, it’s only appropriate, but I certainly didn’t have complaints, as Silky was really the only contestant this week to make me laugh intentionally. The judges might have had some reservations about her truly hideous wig, but personally I thought it only added to the fun. More of a Snatch Game win that will be remembered for its role in the series narrative than anything about what she actually did, but those are fun as well.
3. Silky Nutmeg Ganache as Brooke Lynn Hytes as Celine Dion
2. Whoever Styled The Guest Judges This Week
1. The Lip Sync
The most hilarious moment of the episode, of course, was just when it looked like Silky had come out triumphant, with her nemesis Yvie about to be dispatched in the Lip Sync by the one queen still in the competition with fan favourite status and a stronger overall performance than her…both Brooke and Yvie turned the lip-sync OUT, with sassy character work and jaw-dropping flips, tricks, and shablams a-plenty, re-seizing the narrative, prompting a double shantay and basically washing the entirety of their atrocious Snatch Game performances away and somehow, despite everything, ending up coming out of the episode stronger. And of course the cameramen were sure to crash zoom on Silky seething IMMEDIATELY. Narratives? This show’s got them.