Being a ranking of my 10 favourite moments of the Reunion, yes I managed to get up to 10.
10.The Lerks : Remember when Ru tried to make “lerks” a thing? I think it was two months ago now? God this series has gone on forever. Anyway, whilst nobody (other than Kalorie) (and Cracker’s wigline) really let the side down in terms of turning up to the reunon dressed to the 9s, the clear winners in my eyes were Dusty for serving Tim Burton before he went shit, Monique for actually turning up as a carton of popcorn wielding a “here for the comments” sign, Yuhua for channelling Sadako (although I would have lived for it more if she’d kept her hair over her face the whole time), and Aquaria, for paying homage to “brown cow, stunning” with a fully-realised version of that hideous cowgirl look that Sasha biffed at the ball last year.
9. Miz Cracker vs Asia : Miz Cracker claiming that Asia saying that she’s not a star left her in a coma for weeks, or whatever, and then making vague threats about NEXT TIME SHE WON’T BE SO FORGIVING is amongst the Top 10 most delusionally overblown moments in this show’s history, god bless her. It was so ridiculous that it almost made me feel like she was just doing business and angling to get them both cast on All Stars 4 but…good luck getting Asia anywhere near this show ever again after what else happened tonight.
8. The Vixen offering himself up to Kumail Nanjani : The unseen judging clips brought a lot of beautiful love connections into the world, amidst a whole barage of “old straight man says gay things ha ha” from Alex Trebek. Least romantic was Monet and Andrew Rannells, because it turned out Monet was confusing him with Jonathan Groff. In the middle were Courtney Love and Carson Kressley finding one another after a lifetime of trauma. Most beautiful though, was The Vixen breaking down and telling Kumail Nanjani he’d hit it in front of his wife. Such a pure moment of The Vixen being vulnerable, with Kumail Nanjani’s eyebrows achieving in a matter of seconds what it took Ru five solid hours of reunion night goading to fail to do.
7. Return Of The Sponge Dress : Let’s be honest, the Reunion Fashion Review section was a bust, that existed solely just to get someone to say something nice about Kameron before the blood sacrifice at the end of the show, but it DID prompt the return of the Sponge Dress, and more specifically, the return of the Sponge Dress from out of a binbag Monet had under her chair, giving me Petula Gordino to the life. Ru’s (and Asia’s) absolute horror at the thing returning from the dead like Mrs Loomis at the end of Scream 2 was a welcome moment of levity in a reunion that was on the whole pretty heavy going.
6. The Vixen Storming Off : On the one hand I don’t think The Vixen came across particularly well at the reunion. Not that I think she was in a good position – nobody looks good having to parse out the fine detail of arguments that were had a year ago, and it’s much easier to take the cop out Eureka performative PR option of “I ADMIT I DID SOMETHING WRONG, I’M SORRY” – but outside of the one genuine insight zinger of “everyone’s telling me how to react but nobody’s telling Eureka how to act” she talked herself in circles and refused to own the fact that she deliberately started fights. On the other hand, I would walked out the damn studio myself at the point that Ru decided to make a deliberate parallel between her and IKE TURNER. More reality show contestants should quit things that are proving pointless to them to be honest, and at least she made more of an effort than Phi Phi not even bothering to turn up for the All Stars 2 finale.
5. VAAAAAAAAANJIE : I know it’s because we’re saving up all their highs low and family traumas for the finale, but it did feel kind of hilarious that Vanjie, the first boot, got more airtime tonight than any of our finalists. Still, it was good to get to hear Vanessa talk on her own terms about how it feels to be the ultimate meme queen, buried nightly on stage under a shower of cookies and valediction, as queens who got much further in the competition than her got ignored. Soak it in before you get Cynthia’d on Season 11 Vanj.
4. Blair’s Storyline Resolved : Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t really a fan of Ru’s Shooting Gallery Of Trauma, where all in a row Dusty and Monique and Monet and Blair and Yuhua were all lined up and told to cry on cue, and then Wintergreen came out and revealed that he too has trauma, you might know him as the fun makeover queen of Series 9 but one time he took his eye off his 6 year old son and oh God he was lost in Wal-Mart for 15 MINUTES RU. But it did give nice closure to Blair’s arc with the fanbase. In pre-season spoilers basically two things were known about Blair : that she’d jumped a DUI charge to be on the show, and that she was a mid-boot. So of course everyone presumed she was going to be dragged off the set in handcuffs and disgrace. To see her admit that her alcoholism was a result of her trying to numb the pain of her rape was sobering. Never believe the spoilers kids, even if they’re true. Unless they were that one that Laganja won Series 6 after Bianca got medevac’d, that one’s still amazing, I still believe.
3. Dusty opens the library : Letting the eliminated queens show how they would have done in the Reading Challenge is usually death (the last two seasons it hasn’t been great watching the non-eliminated queens trying it to be fair) but Dusty single-handedly redeemed the idea by blowing through Kameron, Eureka and Blair in short order, before closing it out with “Never loved ya!” which I *still* say is a decent catchphrase. Maybe Dusty can make her sweetheart personality fix her goth aesthetic after all, find out on All Stars 7!
2. The Murder Of Kameron Michaels : Every reunion needs a good demolition derby not based on “events” or “facts” but on personality alone, and Dusty and Monique leading a charge of queens to run over Kameron, calling her fake, aloof, and rude, before she received 0 votes to win, was everything I needed. Spluttering, eye-popping, a palpable absennce of her best friend Eureka doing much riding in in her defence, and the vaguery wiggle room of “I’M NOT RUDE, I’M JUST AN INTROVERT!”, Kameron her truly justified her role as the true lolrandom queen of Series 10.
1. Asia vs RuPaul : Let’s face it, it’s been a long time coming. Ru’s psychobabble has been out of control in the latter days of this season, as we get towards having to market a winner (and bear in mind this reunion was filmed the day after the finale, which I’m sure was full of Asia being poked to talk about her dead parents yet again), and it was very gratifying to see Asia snap at Ru’s seventeenth iteration of “as gay people we get to choose our family, and by that I mean throw friends in the bin when they become inconvenient”, and tell him that that’s self-centred and glib. Asia’s been invaluable as a mother figure this series, and I’m glad that she took it to Ru full-throated. Ru’s response of course was to yell that SHE COMES FROM THE SAME PLACE AS VIXEN AND SHE MADE IT GOD DAMMNIT, and also that Vixen had disrespected her in her house, because apparently Ru lives under the theatre where they film the reunion now, like the gay(er) Phantom Of The Opera. If the reunion is a challenge, then Asia was this year’s clear winner.