Strictly Come Dancing Pro Poll 2017

Results Time!

48 (44). Jared Murillo – 2.36 (2.74)

Best Finish – Tina O’Brien : 11th place
Most Common Score : 1

Jared is pretty much the iconic ideal of a bad Strictly pro at this point right? Only employed for one series, in which he squandered someone reasonably good on paper via a unconvincing showmance, pleather, Katy Perry, and infecting her with chickenpox to avoid having to taint his pure Mormon soul by dancing a filthy rumba with her. It’s no surprise that Jared here records the lowest score ever recorded by a male pro in a Strictly Pro Poll.

47 (39). John Byrnes – 2.64 (3.38)

Best Finish – Claire Sweeney : 5th place
Most Common Score :
Don’t Know

A big drop for John here, both in terms of score and placing here, although who knows what stirs people to raise or lower people amongst these forgotten souls at the bottom of the Davy Jones Locker of Strictly pros. John is principally known for two things – being part of the first, and probably biggest shock boot in Strictly history (imagine the Stage School Ringah not even making the second half of the competition these days, the BBC was practically burnt down because Pixie only just scraped past the final Theme Week) and secondly for being one of the prime movers in putting Strictly together as a show, only to decide that no in fact it’s dumb a few months later and bin it off. No suggestion those two things are connected of course.

46 (42). Paul Killick – 2.72 (3.01)

Best Finish – Verona Josephs : 6th place
Most Common Score :
Don’t Know

Paul “Killer” Killick is known as the show’s first “bad boy” villain pros, and also as part of two of Strictly’s earliest “Dahnce Disahtahs”, as Craig might have it. Firstly there was Verona Joseph’s infamous paso, where she just stood on the spot and clapped as Paul flounced around with his top off, and of course, even more infamously, secondly, there was Vorderumba. It may look tame compared to some of the misguided hamjobs we’ve seen recently, but at the time it was cringe par excellence, as Carol Vorderman squinted, pouted, and rhythmically moved her chin in and out of her neck sensuously.

45 (41). Kylie Jones – 2.81 (3.19)

Best Finish – Jason Wood : 8th place
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

The very first boot ever on Strictly, Kylie was partnered with comedian Jason Wood, who was eliminated most likely because he was the least famous contestant ever in the history of Strictly, ever, in the history of Strictly, ever, and then was never seen again. Given that I’m down to pictures of the back of her head, it’s probably safe to say her place in Strictly lore is…limited

44 (43). Andrew Cuerden – 2.83 (2.95)

Best Finish – Jaye Jacobs : 11th place
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

Andrew is similarly a one-series wonder and early boot, as he was partnered with Jaye Jacobs from Holby City and went out in week 2. Jaye was the feisty young contestant in her series, so of course she was given a waltz and rumba by Kenny G and Leo Sayer to perform and a partner with facial hair straight out of The Legend Of Zorro. It didn’t end well. Andrew seemed fine enough, but was very much the sort of Early Season Pro whose subsequent absence wasn’t really felt.

43 (40). Hazel Newberry – 2.86 (3.31)

Best Finish – Quentin Wilson – 10th place
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

Hazel Newberry has done fewer performances than any other Strictly pro, with only one dance on record. It scored 8. That means her average overall score per dance as a Strictly pro is 8. That was Zoe Ball’s average overall score per dance after one PADDLE was revealed in her first episode. In short, Hazel Newberry set a benchmark that will absolutely never be bettered (worsered?) in Strictly history and bless her for that.

42 (37). Izabela Hannah – 2.98 (3.51)

Best Finish – Dennis Taylor – 8th place
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

No, as ever, I don’t remember anything about this one either. Look at her stats there, that’s about it. I *still* forget every year that she was blonde.

41 (36). Hanna Haarala – 3.13 (3.56)

Best Finish – Will Thorp – 7th place
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

The distaff counterpoint to Andrew Cuerden – the Holby City to his Casualty (or the other way around, I can never remember who was in which one). She got slightly further, and showed off slightly better dances, and made slightly more of an impact on Strictly history, but it’s still not enough to make it into the Top 40 on this countdown so *shrug*.

40 (38). Hayley Holt – 3.16 (3.46)

Best Finish – Mark Foster – 11th place
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

Always my favourite update of every year’s Pro Poll, sod what she did on Strictly, let’s find out what Hayley Holt’s doing with her life now! Last we left her she was the co-host of a late night political discussion show, but now she’s taking her interest in making a change even further, and standing in this year’s New Zealand general election, for the Green party! She’s contesting the historically conservative suburban seat of Helensville and to be honest doesn’t really have much of a chance of getting in, but bless her for trying and giving me something to write about every year. Is Brian Fortuna standing for office? NO. Hayley also this year spoke about her battle with alcoholism, because why not? The results start coming in from September 23rd, good luck girl, we’re rooting for you!

39 (34). Hanna Karttunen – 3.41 (4.34)

Best Finish – Christopher Parker – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

Hanna Karttunen is a pro of two halves – firstly there was the pro who was partnered with Chris Parker in Series 1. The knockabout comedy, the calm and quiet support, the mother bear antagonism with Craig, the wholesome appeal to the cooing pensioners watching and wanting to support that nice Spencer Moon who was just trying his best. Then there’s…well look at the picture. Post series Hanna K morphed into some sort of weird showdance ice witch from the frozen wastes of Finland, wearing skintight fleshtone catsuit and dancing avant garde performance pieces wherein she crawled up her own vagina and out of her partner’s mouth. What an enigma.

38 (35). James Jordan – 3.84 (4.00)

Best Finish – Denise van Outen – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 1

James this year decided to expand brand Jordan by appearing on Celebrity Big Brother for a second time. On the one hand I’m sure the money was good, and also he managed to get a few decent zings in on Austin Armacost. On the other hand he finshed 13th and he got a few decent zings in on Austin Armacost. Like, that’s the level of celebrity you’re swimming at now. NOBODY KNOWS WHO THAT IS. YOU ONCE TOUCHED ALEX JONES! YOU WERE PARTNERS WITH THE BBC’S LEADING SPORTS PRESENTER! BILLY CONNOLLY HAD YOU IN HIS HOME (briefly before Hammy pulled the ball gag out of her bureau and you climbed out the window)! James has at this point I think solidly anchored himself down as the least favourite major pro in this poll, at least until…I dunno, Katya Virshilas joins the alt-right.

37 (31). Nicole Cutler – 4.09 (4.68)

Best Finish – John Barnes – 7th place
Most Common Score : Don’t Know

Nicole Cutler on the other hand has the feel of someone who was supposed to be a major pro, with the auspicious record in the dance genre of spinning and the connection with another major pro, but never quite took. After a disastrous stint with Diarmuid, a first boot with Nicholas, and a decent run with John Barnes that was nevertheless marred by them being in the Bottom Two 4 weeks out of 7, the show gave up the ghost and let her drift off into the night. Ah well.

36 (33). Brian Fortuna – 4.12 (4.54)

Best Finish – Ali Bastian – 3rd place
Most Common Score : 1

Brian Fortuna is an odd one, in that he slid in and started carving a decent legacy for himself out with a decently endearing partnership with Heather Small (albeit one nobody voted for, ever) and then had a typically overblown showmance partnership with a near finalist (who indeed would have been a finalist if Jade Johnson’s knee hadn’t exploded) and then the great Dance Troupe Disaster of ’10 happened, they offered him a demotion, he told them to fuck off and…that was that. For all the things Evil Moira Ross got right in reshaping the show after the fudge of Series 7 there were some areas she definitely lacked finesse.

35 (32). Karen Clifton – 4.43 (4.67)

Best Finish – Mark Wright – 4th place
Most Common Score : 1

It feels bad to pile on Karen after she had definitely one of the more demanding and disappointing series with a ringer ever but…doesn’t it feel odd that she’s now the longest serving female pro? The line of seniority has passed from Erin to Ola to Natalie over the years. All veteran pros, all of whom either won or nearly won, and all of them with a solid grounding in basic ballroom and latin technique honed through years of competition and performance. And now Karen. It’s a bold new era really isn’t it?

34 (30). Joanne Clifton – 4.83 (4.70)

Best Finish – Ore Oduba – Winner
Most Common Score : 1

Every winning pro so far has seen a bump to their score and Joanne is no exception, although a 0.13 bump is the smallest since Flavia, and I’m fairly sure that was only so small because you all liked her already. Looking back at Ore’s winning run you can see why it didn’t buoy Joanne up too much in the Pro Poll rankings. Firstly he was in the bottom 2 quite a few times and secondly a lot of the routines Joanne choreographed were…well, a bit shit. Still, that jive, that American Smooth, and that American Smooth a second time when she called it a Showdance, will all live in infamy.

33 (26). Ola Jordan – 4.94 (5.25)

Best Finish – Chris Hollins – Winner
Most Common Score : 6

Tum ti tum, don’t mind me, Ola Jordan, just cleaning my car in a tight white top and denim booty shorts in the middle of the day coz it needs doing, not because I know the paparazzi are watching me. Now let’s get both of these bumpers really soapy. And the ones on the car as well.

32 (25). Kevin Clifton – 4.95 (5.37)

Best Finish – Susanna Reid/Frankie Bridge/Kellie Bright/Louise Redknapp – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 1

So yes, the most notable thing about Kevin Clifton, as he continues his plunge down the order of the Pro Poll voting (he finished 15th in his debut year don’t you know, it feels so long ago now…), is that he is now OFFICIALLY the biggest bridesmaid in the history of the show. Four contestants, four finals, four times a runner-up, and let’s face it, it’s entirely possible he finished second every single time. Now obviously here would be a really good spot to discuss how likely that is to happen this year, but you’ve only gone and eliminated him one day too soon for me to discuss that without spoiling the Launch Show. And I don’t work for The Sun (and never will) so I won’t.

31 (NE). AJ Pritchard – 5.13

Best Finish – Claudia Fragapane – 4th place
Most Common Score : 7

Our first newbie pro falls, as AJ Pritchard falls just short of the top 30, despite having accompanied Claudia to the Final Four without too many notable disasters (that jive aside). I would suggest possibly that this is due to what has so far been a near fatal lack of charisma off the dancefloor, crashing through every VT displaying acting skills that make Pasha look like Nicole Kidman, and carrying out every interview with Zoe at a volume at least 15 decibels higher than it should be. Hopefully this year he will have loosened up a little now that his GCSEs are out the way.

30 (27). Janette Manrara – 5.21 (5.03)

Best Finish – Jake Wood – 5th place
Most Common Score : 6

Actually a small climb here for Janette in terms of her score after serving her first stint as a Strictly First Boot, although I guess (somehow) managing to win the Christmas Special could be the reason for a little bump. Still, Janette’s got a major test ahead of her, having the presumptive winner (in the press at least) of the season gifted to her from the off, for the second time. We’ll see if she manages to translate it into something good this time, or if she biffs it again.

29 (28). Robin Windsor – 5.27 (5.00)

Best Finish – Lisa Riley – 5th place
Most Common Score : 6

If you follow Robin’s twitter you’ll know that he takes a lot of selfies from that angle, and also that he is indeed now 95% shoulder. Another small bump in score here, and even less indication as to why it’s happened. Such are the vagaries of the Pro Poll I guess. Robin is still an excellent networker, sticking himself on to dance tours here and there and keeping himself busy, so maybe it’s in recognition of his work ethic. Or because Judge Rinder’s routines last year reminded us generally of the values of a good bit o’ camp, who can say.

28 (24). Trent Whiddon – 5.44 (5.76)

Best Finish – Pixie Lott – 6th place
Most Common Score : 7

I’ve never found out if that story of Trent getting let go because he demanded for a greater role for Gordana at her prompting was true, but if so hs current trajectory of putting on grand musicals based on her visions and printing posters where she’s 5 times more prominent than he is really fits it. There is a man who is devoted to his wife. Anywhere this year Trent concludes the usual slide of the ex pro down the list, as he heads towards the resting place of the majority of the One Series Wonders.

27 (NE). Oksana Platero – 5.67 (NE)

Best Finish – Judge Rinder – 5th place
Most Common Score : 5

Speaking of which, of all of last year’s six (!) newbies, I don’t think it was a surprise to anyone really that it was Oksana who ended up not coming back. Not that she did a bad job with Rindy, but ultimately it was quite hard to reconcile the implacable slightly baffled exterior of Oksana with the absolute raging camp of the routines that she came up with. There was just a disconnect, unlike with other Strictly masters of the dark arts of end of the pier gay magic like Erin or…well mostly Erin. Ultimately it was hard to see Oksana with anyone other than the Judge, and so, like a Gleb in the night, she left us satisfied but oddly not really wanting more. Wouldn’t you agree Oksana?

26 (22). Camilla Dallerup – 5.79 (5.90)

Best Finish – Tom Chambers – Winner
Most Common Score : 6

I’m sorry, I still can’t get over that Camilla’s become a zen yoga life coach now when she was singularly the least chill female pro ever in the history of the show, other than possibly Kristina. What were all those vibrations about, was she trying to shake her chakras into joint?

25 (16). Anya Garnis – 5.82 (6.29)

Best Finish – Partick Robinson – 5th place
Most Common Score : 6

A big fall for Anya in terms of places here, although not massively in terms of scores, meaning we are now hitting the bellcurve apex of the Pro Poll, where every decimal point counts. Anyway, One Series Wonder Anya continues to ply her trade with her ex, and bestie, Pasha Kovalev on tour and also being a fierce animal rights warrior on twitter. She also appears to still be in contact with every single person she’s ever worked with on any show ever, which absolutely persuades me that she is a sweetheart and worthy of a small place in my Pasha’s heart. Numbers Bitch, you’re still on probation.

24 (20). Kristina Rihanoff – 5.82 (6.10)

Best Finish – Simon Webbe – Runner Up
Most Common Score : 7

Poor Kristina. Just as things start to settle down and she looks the picture of domestic bliss with Ben Cohen and baby Mila…Shirley Ballas gets the Head Judge berth and the tabloids are all over her again for a shag or two that happened over a decade ago. Will she ever be able to escape her past, Strictly’s past, and also the Daily Star showbiz desk? What a tragic heroine.

23 (29). Anton du Beke – 5.83 (4.95)

Best Finish – Laila Rouass – 4th place
Most Common Score : 7

A big climb for Anton this year, both in terms of score and place as, for whatever reason it was a partnership with Lesley Joseph that finally made him click in your brains and bounce him above an average for the first time ever. Such is the Birds Of A Feather effect I guess. Or maybe you’re all cutting him some slack for becoming the father of twins and also for having to spend social time with Eamonn Holmes in the near future.

22 (23). Darren Bennett – 5.89 (5.85)

Best Finish – Jill Halfpenny – Winner
Most Common Score : 6

No dance-off (for the most part), a winner who won just for being a sportsman, a bargain budget bin set, and Darren Bennett yapping away – watching Dancing With The Stars Ireland was very much like stepping back in time a decade in Strictly terms to a more innocent age. Admittedly there were still some elements of influence from the present day of excess and proppery (that Movie Week jive where a Minion got sodomised with an inflatable banana for example) but for the most part for good or ill it was a definite contrast, and also nice to see what Darren’s up to now. No idea how many, if any, of you watched it, and so gave him a little bump as a result but hey, it was something to talk about right?

21 (14). Karen Hardy – 6.01 (6.59)

Best Finish – Mark Ramprakash – Winner
Most Common Score : 6

Always. This. Picture

20 (21). Brendan Cole – 6.04 (6.03)

Best Finish – Natasha Kaplinsky – Winner
Most Common Score : 6

RIP Brenda Cole 1976-2016 sleep forever with the angles in heaven

19 (18). Tristan MacManus – 6.13 (6.23)

Best Finish – Jamelia – 8th place
Most Common Score : 5

Has any pro more transparently hated the process of being involved with Dancing With The Stars/Strictly Come Dancing for so long? Most pros who find they’re not compatable with the conventions of reality tv duck out after their initial dipping in of their toes to the waters but Tristan? Tristan kept on going. Despite hating having to do choreography, hating the backstage manipulations, hating having to dance genres other than pure ballroom, hating having to answer questions politically on the spin off shows…pretty much hating everything that makes Strictly Strictly. And yet still he persisted. How much money did they dump on the lawn of this man’s house every year?

18 (19). Gleb Savchenko – 6.14 (6.15)

Best Finish – Anita Rani – 5th place
Most Common Score : 8

That’s right, Gleb and Tristan flip-flopped this year. Take a moment to think on that one if you want? Done? Good. Gleb’s brief stay on Strictly only accelerates further into history as he sticks with Dancing With The Stars USA, as since he left Strictly he’s already had two goes it and just had his celeb announced for a third stab. At any rate he seems more comfortable on the show as, opposed to down to earth tomboys who are pushing 40 and go on to present earnest documentaries about the Indian partition, he’s mainly had barely legal soap actresses and choreographed routines where they do it in a Holiday Inn en suite shower. Everyone finds their best home eventually with this show I guess.

17 (15). Giovanni Pernice – 6.15 (6.48)

Best Finish – Georgia May Foote – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 7

OK, you got me, in fact technically Tristan, Gleb and Giovanni are stacked one on top of eachother with barely any daylight between each one. Not that other thing I said. But carry on anyway. At any rate, last year Giovanni had one of the oddest runs on Strictly with injury drama, showboating drama, “WELL DONE ON YER SPINS” drama, and really bizarre showmance drama where in the show all the VTs were edited to make it look MAXIMUM like he and Laura were bumping fenders, which everywhere else they seem to have been faintly baffled about, all culminating in a partnership that despite all that feels a little…forgotten. Anyway, never Laura Whitmore, I am moving on Debbivani ala Team Lovely aka How Debbie Got Her Groove Back aka A Strictly Gigolo aka the most overhyped I’ve got about a partnership that ultimately only I will care about since Kristina Rihanoff & Daniel O’Donnell. HIGH EXPECTATIONS, I’ll tell you that much

16 (NE). Katya Jones – 6.54

Best Finish – Ed Balls – 6th place
Most Common Score : 8

It was a memorable debut year for Katya Jones I guess, ending up peaking bent over backwards with her face several inches from…well…Ed’s balls, as he jigged up and down doing the Gangnam Style as she kicked frantically from beneath, a bit like he was asphyxiating her with…well…his balls. It was Series 6 that a newbie was last entrusted with the Beloved Comedy Contestant of the series, and coincidentally enough, she got a Joe afterwards as well. Let’s hope this one is at least a slightly better dancer.

15 (13). Katya Virshilas – 6.68 (6.89)

Best Finish – Gavin Henson – 5th place
Most Common Score : 8

Katya doesn’t really seem to do much these days beyond raising her kid so…here’s a picture of that hat again, you know you love it.

14 (NE). Gorka Marquez – 6.83

Best Finish – Tameka Empson – 14th place
Most Common Score : 8

Yes you did vote out the four newbies in the exact reverse order that they finished in their first series, what of it? (although a newbie finishing as high as 5th and then getting sacked is now a thing apparently, having happened in three of the last four series). Let’s face it, Gorka made it this far not for his relationship with Tameka so much as he did for that brief week where, when paired with him, Anastacia was, at least purity of dahnce wise, the contestant we all thought she might be at the start of the series. And then let’s face it again, Gorka didn’t get this far for his relationship with Anastacia so much as he did for his intense homoerotic bond with Gethin Jones during their backstage segments together. And then let’s face it AGAIN again, he’s this high because he gets his tits out on Instagram a lot.

13 (11). Lilia Kopylova – 6.99 (7.09)

Best Finish – Darren Gough – Winner
Most Common Score : 8

Lilia dips ever so slightly below a 7.0 average for the first time in the history of the Pro Poll here, as her legacy the One True Sweetheart of the first half of Strictly’s history slowly fades away piece by piece. Still, her kid’s adorable, and that’s really what matters here.

12 (12). Matthew Cutler – 7.03 (7.06)

Best Finish – Alesha Dixon – Winner
Most Common Score : 7

So anyway, apparently that guy who Matthew was pictured with in last year’s poll was in fact his husband, they just didn’t make a big deal of it all over the front of OK Magazine with all the old school Strictly pros dry-humping one another in a conga line, so I will respect Matthew’s preference for privacy by putting up an old picture of him decorating a cake in Fortnum & Mason’s. Mazel tov again anyway of course. (In case you needed reminding, amongst these updates devolving into a Hatch, Match & Dispatch segment over the last few updates, Matthew Cutler was the professional partner of Carol Smillie, Alesha Dixon, Christine Bleakley and Martina Hingis and two of those partnership were much more iconic than the other two, obviously, duh)

11 (10). Aliona Vilani – 7.05 (7.14)

Best Finish – Harry Judd/Jay McGuiness – Winners
Most Common Score : 10

Yes I know I said I realised that this segment was becoming too much about the personal life of these guys in a slightly stalkery way BUT in the last year Aliona pushed out a baby and also wore that hat at some point so you can’t blame me on this one can you? I can’t resist a good picture of a hat. She also I think threatened to sue the BBC at some point because Len said something slanderous about Jay’s Holy Jive or because she couldn’t find it on Youtube or something, which you might judge her for, but fun fact if Aliona stops suing people she will literally die, it’s like if a basking shark stops moving or if a human being stops breathing or if Bruno stops snorting oven cleaner. The girl can’t help it.

10 (8). Vincent Simone – 7.21 (7.28)

Best Finish – Rachel Stevens – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 8

I love that in all of Flavia’s promo shots for whatever big tango show she and Vincent are doing now, she always looks like an impeccable glamorous Euro Giallo goddess, and Vincent looks like he’s popped round to check your meter. At any rate (STAT ATTACK) Vincent is the longterm pro who has seen the least change in opinion over the course of the seven year history of the pro poll. He’s always here, propping up the bottom of the Top 10, with an average somewhere around 7. Like on the show itself, a valuable and liked support player, principally to partner every female pro under 5ft 2, whilst never quite breaking out to be a Big Stah.

9 (9). Artem Chigvintsev – 7.24 (7.19)

Best Finish – Kara Tointon – Winner
Most Common Score : 8

I know, I know, Artem’s a blonde now. Hollywood changes people. Like Gleb, Artem has now succesfully found a niche on Dancing With The Stars, with those “visa issues” not looking like they’re resolving any time soon. Unlike Gleb, the niche appears to have been helping the big name older ladies of the cast, from disco legend Patti Labelle to figure skating’s most iconic crowbar assault victim Nancy Kerrigan via the original Marcia Brady herself. So you know, all more glamorous than that schlub hag Fern Britton what were they THINKING partnering the Amazing Artem with her it’s no wonder he spent the whole time they were supposed to be training flicking popcorn at her and snorting under his breath. This series though he’s got a talented lady wrestler, so may well become the first pro ever to win on both sides of the Atlantic.

8 (7). Erin Boag – 7.38 (7.46)

Best Finish – Colin Jackson – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 8

What a lovely interior. Erin is presumably still enjoying her retirement somewhere, enjoying walks along the pier with her son and eating fishfinger sandwiches, and definitely not still plotting indecent revenge on Darren Gough, Lisa Snowdon, and the entire cast of Avenue Q, just because, FUCKING PUPPETS.

7 (5). Iveta Lukosiute – 7.54 (7.83)

Best Finish – Mark Benton – 7th place
Most Common Score : 10

I mean really, the mystery deepens. I’m taking to believe the above means that the above means that the REAL Iveta Lukosiute died at birth and the woman we know as Iveta Lukosiute stole her identity some years later for purposes unknown. Life thieving from the very beginning, good job girl. Under the guise of “Iveta”, the woman pictured above never did particularly well, serving as a first boot, Bottom 2 Goddess, and the rare Shock Hunky Dunk boot respectively, but she was utterly batpoop crazy, which is really what counts here.

6 (4). Ian Waite – 7.60 (7.89)

Best Finish – Denise Lewis – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 8

Now THAT is a Strictly gay wedding photo. Full arm synchonicity (except Darren, who can’t be arsed), your tv wife tucked up safely behind you, Vincent tucked up maybe a little too tightly behind Erin based on the look on her face, your husband by your side, and absolutely no pros who joined after Series 7 the filthy interlopers. I bet the PhotoMe booth at the reception was an absolute riot. No men dancing together at the disco though obviously, because it’s absolutely disgusting. Just from an aesthetic point of view of course. Suit and a dress and all that, absolutely.

5 (17). Oti Mabuse – 7.85 (6.26)

Best Finish – Danny Mac – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 10

No surprise at all really that Oti is this year’s highest climber, both in terms of score and placings. She had a strong run in which she came across like a domineering taskmaster, always a popular female pro niche around these here parts. It remains to be seen this year whether she can soften that to have Danny’s opposite (other than in the fact that he’s FIT AS obviously) – someone who’s coming in with a large natural fanbase and possibility for vote appeal, but who doesn’t ring harder than the Hunchback of Notre Dame – do as well in the competition.

4 (6). Flavia Cacace – 8.03 (7.78)

Best Finish – Louis Smith – Winner
Most Common Score : 9

See? This is the SAME PHOTOSHOOT as the picture of Vincent above. How does she do it? A little bump here for Flavia as she reclaims her position as the other female face on Strictly’s hypothetical Mount Rushmore Of Dahnce from Iveta, and goes back above the 8 average mark. No idea why, maybe she released a particularly good range of eye-liners or something.

3 (3). Pasha Kovalev – 8.38 (8.12)

Best Finish – Caroline Flack – Winner
Most Common Score : 10

As he inches ever closer to the big 40, Pasha continues to mature nicely into his role as a senior pro, following up a run with a sweet older lady with a fractious “good on paper, actually crap” woman in her early 40s who clearly didn’t want to be there. Squint and he could BE Brenda. Will someone come along and be his Sophie and give him a second win as he heads into what seem likely to be his autumn years as a Strictly star? Well…probably not with Chizzy, let’s face it.

2 (2). Aljaz Skorjanec – 8.46 (8.24)

Best Finish – Abbey Clancy – Winner
Most Common Score : 10

Aljaz continues to defy the rules lied down for winning pros, as historically a win on the show has been followed by a brief period of duffers and difficult cases, whilst Aljaz continues to get young and lovelies almost every series. I guess sometimes being a nice guy (and having a solid tush) really does pay off when it comes time to assign the celebs. Neither Helen George nor Daisy Lowe gave Aljaz a particularly banner year in the show (despite some nice floaty ballroom in both cases) but maybe the more punchy and powerful loking Gemma will propel him to his second final.

1 (1). Natalie Lowe – 8.62 (8.54)

Best Finish – Ricky Whittle – Runner-Up
Most Common Score : 10

It was never going to end any other way really was it? Natalie takes home her fourth victory in the Pro Poll, and third in a row, with the highest score ever recorded on the Pro Poll, in her retirement year, with one last wink and running splits. She will be missed.

And as is tradition, the putative All-Stars series with your favourite pros and your favourite partner of theirs.

Natalie Lowe & Scott Maslen
Flavia Cacace & Louis Smith
Oti Mabuse & Danny Mac
Iveta Lukosiute & Mark Benton
Erin Boag & Colin Jackson
Aliona Vilani & Jay McGuiness
Lilia Kopylova & Darren Gough
Katya Virshilas & Gavin Henson

Aljaz Skorjanec & Helen George
Pasha Kovalev & Chelsee Healey
Ian Waite & Zoe Ball
Artem Chigvintsev & Kara Tointon
Vincent Simone & Rachel Stevens
Matthew Cutler & Alesha Dixon
Gorka Marquez & Tameka Empson

What a line-up.

(The order of the polls is preserved below, for anyone doing the quiz)
















































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24 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing Pro Poll 2017

  1. Pingback: Strictly Come Dancing 15 – A Market Research Poll (Results) | The mighty mighty Monk Seal

  2. jgcameron1992

    Tried to score based on how memorable some of their best routines are. Apart from Gorka, who I gave a 10 for ….. other lasting impressions…. and Kevin, because I can’t stand Kevin.

    Reply
  3. Penny

    I also can’t stand Kevin, but fortunately I didn’t have to sully the purity of my dance-based voting either. The problem with The World Cup Of Daaance format is that there isn’t a final summary post, so I can’t check my recollection that none of Kevin’s dances made it out of the group stage….maybe Susannah’s Paso perhaps? And Defyjng Gravity?

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    1. monkseal Post author

      Defying Gravity was Kevin’s last dance in – it made Top 64. If you go by number of votes received it was 57th out of 64 in that round.

      Reply
      1. monkseal Post author

        I might well put a Top 100 up tonight if I get time – there was just a lot to do last night and PANIC over the photobucket situation that everyone has apparently known about for ages but which I only found out about now.

  4. Maureen (@Moza_jf)

    I only started watching from S6, and it always surprises me how many pros I missed out on.

    One request for next year, if Chloe gets a partner this year, can we get a minus score, please? She takes annoying to a whole nother lever. /cringe

    Reply
  5. BeyonceIsAGluttonousLadyOfWrangling

    Am I going blind? Where is NATALIE LOWE on the poll Chris?!
    I have only noticed she is missing because I am trying (and failing) to do your quiz
    Can I have a BONUS five points for noticing!
    Also, the movie week music for routines question, does that include pro routines?
    Plus, does Aston’s baby announcement count?
    How are we sending you answers?!
    Thanks lovely x

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Natalie is between Aliona and Anya. You can have any movie that is the basis of an ENTIRE routine, so Anton farting about as The Babadook for 5 seconds in a medley of movies doesn’t count. Things only start “counting” from the first live show, so no, Aston’s baby announcement doesn’t count. I’ll put an e-mail address up at the appropriate time.

      Reply
      1. BeyoncesKindleIsBuggeredEitherThatOrSheHasGoneBlind

        I think I need to switch to a Big Computer as I can’t see them. Or I need to go to Specsavers.
        Stupid bloody kindle. Sorry Chris. I had fun guessing some today but my answer to Q1 at the moment remains blind dart-throwing monkeys. 😉 Love you for doing this though x

  6. BeyonceCastle

    Jason Wood died in 2010. Natural causes. He was a regular at Edinburgh fringe having done gay cabaret for years prior (Cher/Babs) and did his own fringe shows 2004-2007 and was still doing comedy circuit until his death. He did Underdog show in 2007. He could belt out Pavarotti. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0z5HP-Oiaro
    Kylie and him got screwed over because he got rumba week 2 and was poor in comparison whereas David D got quickstep and was known for bargain hunt.

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  7. jgcameron1992

    Why on earth is Karen Hardy not top 20! Behind Tristan of all people. The pro poll works in mysterious ways.
    I will also always have a small soft spot for Nicole Cutler because she once marked me into a final of my biggest annual dance comp, judging alongside Matthew. He didn’t, the bastard.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Clearly it is because of Chloe redefining the art of Choreography Corner and taking it to a whole nother level, Karen’s looking pretty old hat now.

      Reply
  8. Chris

    I’m quietly hoping for a Natalie-Oti top 2. I haven’t decided which one should win yet, but if there’s anything more than a decimal point in it, someone will’ve been robbed.

    Reply
  9. EvenBeyonceCastleThinksDWTSSucks

    ah Artem… I do wonder whether he got blonded this year in the same way the girls get redded or brunetted as Alan is a new pro and Mark is back and no blonde Derek. No idea why Sasha got benched. Especially as we could have had Sasha and Sasha.
    But my word is DWTS beyond redemption in its pilot. Musical highlights included Poor Emma having to choreograph a foxtrot to….Our House by Madness.
    I shit you not.
    Debbie Gibson danced to Debbie Gibson.
    Maks did what can only be described as Puppetgate 2 as he started off his routine with a baby harness on and moved a Baby Bjorns legs and arms to the music.
    I do not have the words for what I just saw.

    Reply

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