Strictly Come Dancing 15 – The QUIZ/PREDICTION LEAGUE thingy

SECOND UPDATE!

SO! With the first 10 of the series, and the avalanche of points that came with it, we finally have a leaderboard that looks like an actual leaderboard, and not like something you’d see on Dancing With The Stars, where there are three judges, and everyone gets an 8, 9, or 10. So here are the scores on the doors so far :

1. Chris Hare : 38
2. Clare Reay : 35
3. Matt Thomas : 33
4= Mark Siddall/James Ross : 31
6. Kate Houston : 26
7. Sophie Michell : 23
8. Mark Salem : 22
9. Chris Brampton : 20
10. Don Montgomery : 19
11. Sue Howarth : 18
12. Sarah Weston : 17
13= Julie Bennett/Phyllis Seyfarth/Emma Barton : 16
16. Penny Heal : 15
17= Kirstie Hepburn/Remy Lebeau : 13
19. DeiseDays : 11
20. Fern Martin : 10
21. DJ Mikey : 3
22. Felicity Conditions : 0

If anyone has any objections to their score (most possibly arising around the question of Animal Imagery) then SAY IT TO MY FACE, BITCH! You will most likely get the answer “well it might not have sounded like the question meant that BUT IT DID”, just to warn you.

In terms of the Great Bruno Debate, as his absence from the judging panel this week has been anounced – for the “Highest Score in X genre” questions all scores will count as scaled up to 40 (ie divided by 3, then multiplied by 4, then rounded) ; to determine who the most generous judge is, this week will be ignored ; and if he falls off a chair somewhere during the show then how the fuck am I supposed to know, leave me alone.

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30 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 15 – The QUIZ/PREDICTION LEAGUE thingy

  1. DJ Mikey Can't Figure Out How He Feels

    I don’t know what to vote for, need a day to think on it. But I can suggest that even if you don’t recap ITT, just do a weekly recap of Gethin’s rampant homoeroticism… Especially since Gorka is getting a 2nd series – I’m depressed that Oksana is leaving though, there goes my hope for another weird but oddly endearing pairing.

    Reply
  2. DJ Mikey Can't Figure Out How He Feels

    Since I can’t sleep I’m going to do 2 things:

    Give my thoughts on the rumours Slebs for this year, also ask Monkie’s permission to post a “Nearly Naked Men Of Strictly” montage, ordinarily I’d just go for it – but it’s considerably more than the hand of pics every couple of comments.

    Lydia Bright – Given my intense loathe of Reality TV, I’d had no idea who this person was and had to look them up – so just NO!!!

    Rylan Clark-Neal – The only time I want Rylan on TV is in a news segment, about me shooting him.

    Dame Joan Collins – Yes!!! I don’t a damn reason.

    Holly Willoughby – Meh, I guess it will be fun for the straight guy in the audience to watch her give herself black eyes with her boobs. But that’s about it.

    Sir Patrick Stewart – This gives me life, so I know it’s never going to happen.

    Jermaine Dafoe – I don’t really follow football, just individual players – who’ve dropped trou for a modelling contract/calendar/guyswithiphones, but he’s cute. So why not?

    Scarlett Moffatt – I can’t help thinking she’ll be like the irritating love-child of Chelsee Healey and Le Clancy, nobody wants that. Although as I type this, I realise some of your more sick and twisted readers do want that.

    Charlotte Hawkins – Don’t care if she is one of the BBC Breakfast crew, I’ve never heard of her and had to look her up.

    Olly Murs – Unless it brings Natalie Lowe out of retirement, Olly Murs is never allowed to do this show. Except as a guest performer.

    Samantha Womack – EastEnders Star, Sylvia Young Graduate. RINGAH – and one who I could actually like.

    Jason Durr – Handsome Older Man, CHECK!!!

    Gemma Atkinson – Is a clone of Georgia May Foote. So I’m going to allow it, see if we can piss off The Jay Pet Army again.

    Danny Boy-Hatchard – EastEnders Star, no apparent stage school background, so possibly not a ringah. Will be appearing as Ste in a 20th anniversary production of Beautiful Thing, so he definitely has my vote. He has a huge bulge – so he’s getting my vote twice.

    Tommy Cannon – Obvious Comedy Contestant, there has to be one doesn’t there?

    Ryan Thomas – Only he stops channelling his inner, post He Will Not Divide Us, Shia LaBeouf and goes back to being HOTT…

    Mary Berry – Yes!!! Again I don’t need a damn reason.

    Joel Dommett – He’s cute, so yes… But if he does the show I’ll feel compelled to vote him, on the basis that I’ve seen his Skype video and feel like I can honestly claim I know him intimately.

    Sir Tim Peake – Yes!!! Oh, look – once again I don’t need a damn reason.

    Nigel Farage – Does potential entertainment value outweigh listening to the incessant whining of Remoaners? I’m really not sure.

    Ellie Simmonds – God Yes!!! Some figure out who the shortest male pro is quick…

    Carley Stenson – Can the Kingmaker earn the crown??? God, I have to say yes on this one – if only because of this blog.

    Michelle Collins – Only if she’s going to out bitch Kelly Brook.

    Billie Faiers – Oh look another Reality TV irritance, it has to be a NO!!!

    Rita Simons – EastEnders Star, Ex Girlband Member, possible ringah – couldn’t find out if she’s a stage school brat. Lord Sugar’s niece – so I expect Holly Valance levels of not really giving a crap.

    Ruth Langsford – Obligatory Older Woman!!!

    Paula Radcliffe – Yes!!! It would be spectacular when she stops mid-routine to piss by the Judges’ Desk. Please don’t let me down BBC.

    Reply
      1. monkseal Post author

        You can be not totally nude and still have your dick out, as I’m sure anyone who’s sent noodz not at their target weight could tell you. If you asked them. Not me.

  3. Tal27

    I am now completely distracted by the BBC salaries. Claudia is paid more than Tess!!! Brilliant! And Bruno is paid more than Craig and Darcey! Wheeeeeeeeee! 😂😂😂😂

    Reply
    1. BeyonceIsEasy

      Really? Is that because Claudia also does a radio show and film programme? I guess Bruno’s agent can drive a harder bargain due to the big bucks he makes on DWTS. Anyway good to know Tal I will now muse on that while waiting for Mikey’s nudey pics. 😉
      I voted for a quiz cos I like quizzes and like trying to predict things, usually badly (Danny’s samba making the strictly world cup final was a fine example of my mystic meg stylings and look what happened there…albeit I will freely admit to not having voted for it cos I was tactically voting for Soph. Even though Brendan didn’t choreo. He just looks so chuffed at the end, joyous to watch as a couple of clumsy lifts aside he basically knows they Nailed It).
      But I also like reading it takes two catch ups as as I don’t tend to get to see them, only the slim pickings put up on YouTube. So either fine really. I am pathetically grateful either way. 🙂

      Reply
      1. DJ Mikey (Is Having Issues With Wordpress)

        WordPress won’t let me post Nearly Naked Men Of Strictly – I’ve tried like 3 times now. Maybe it’s too long so I’m going to try breaking it up. Let’s get to it – Hopefully!!!

  4. PadsterMo

    Really enjoyed the ITT recaps last year, but voted for the other option to allow for informed decision making.

    Alexandra ‘The Beast’ Burke is my favourite rumour, but I know she’s on tour with Sister Act at the moment and not sure when that finishes…….

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      This would be revealed on the Launch Show though probably, and therefore not be much of a question. As much as I could forgive people for not doing a close read of the Launch Show.

      Reply
    2. BeyonceCannotWorkOutTheFirstQuestionAndWantsAClue

      Shirl will just take Len’s seat Shirley?
      Otherwise Bruno can’t fall off his chair and the tabs will say there’s a feud between Shirl’n’Darce cos they refuse to sit next to each other. Or something.
      They won’t put Bruno and Craig together cos Bruno gets handsy. I’d like to see that but never mind me. So C, D, S, B. Can I have a point please?!

      Reply
      1. Ross

        I wouldn’t rule out Craig, Shirley, Darcey, Bruno – if Shirley’s a kind judge, she’ll make an interesting counterpoint to Craig (scores like 7, 9, 8, 8), if she’s critical, we’ll get symmetry (7, 7, 8, 8), and if she’s middle ground it’ll remain pretty much as usual (7, 8, 8, 8).

  5. Sue Howarth

    What week will Brucie die?
    I know that sounds really horrible, but I am sure the BBC has a contingency plan, it will be Queen level of overkill, and which week it falls on would make a difference.I f the Queen and Bruce died on finals week there would be some sort of spontaneous combustion

    Reply
  6. wh-wcs

    Hey – I’ve ediited this comment out because it had partnership spoilers, but have copied it and pasted it elsewhere and will include it as an entry, because I’m nice like that. Everyone else please wait for the Launch Show where I’ll put an e-mail address up for entries

    Reply
  7. Sue Howarth

    Extra question, based on Monkseal’s reaction to DS spoilers
    “NO, Yes, Yes, Yes, Fine, Eh, YES MY BODY IS READY, LOL, YAWN, DOUBLEYAWN, sure, YES, Yes, YAWN, fair enough”
    Have your eairlier predictions changes.
    I am thinking NO means Alex lumbered with Brendon, which throws all my lists out of the window from the outset

    Reply
  8. Sue Howarth

    OK ran around getting everything done ready for the launch show. Sat good and ready 2 hours early, if I open the elderflower now I will fall over in the chicken run at chicken bed time, which will be in the middle of the Brucie Tribute- not being mean that bit will be easy to watch on you tube.
    I have tomorrow dedicated to answering this quiz.
    I note we have no official record of best female pro rehearsal gear. Oti won last year but Iveta still holds the overall trophy. Monkseal we need a poll
    Oh and can I just use this opportunity to gloat. Last Saturday I went to Manchester to see the Queens of Comedy, Bianca, Charlie Hides, Miss Bunny, Katya, Alyssa

    Reply
  9. DJ Mikey

    The Pro Poll
    1. How was the order of polls in this year’s Pro Poll decided?

    If Natalie Lowe and Pasha were higher up my guess would be “Monkie’s Top 20 Most Adored Women & Shaggable Men” – but given how screwy the order is I’ll go with “Chosen By The Blind Dart Throwing Song Picking Monkeys”..

    2. Who is the most forgotten pro? (ie the pro who received the highest % of Don’t Know votes)
    The Judges..

    Jared Murilo

    3. Name one animal that Craig (or any other judge) will compare a celebrity to this series. (#AnimalImagery)

    Bandicoot or maybe a Tasmanian Devil

    4. Name one celebrity who will receive a FAB-YOO-LUSS from Craig at any point this series.

    Mollie King, also Davood Ghadami – as the only obviously shaggable male. Jonnie Peacock can share this title when he gets rid of the stupid hair.

    5. Of the four judges, will Shirley be the most generous, second most generous, third most generous, or the harshest? (based on how many points she gives out in total)

    3rd Most Generous, she’s not going to want to come and instantly alienate herself by being a heinous hell bitch. Very few people can pull that off like Oti.

    6. Will Bruno fall off his chair at any point?

    Who Cares?

    Theme Weeks
    7. Name a movie that will be the basis of a routine in Movie Week

    New Shit Rom Com, staring some stupid Hollywood starlet – Jennifer Lawrence – whom could really benefit from wrapping their car around a tree.

    8. Name a musical that will be the basis of a routine in Musicals Week

    Oh, Dear God The Horror. Oops I mean, probably Cats or maybe Rent if the Rev is still in at that stage.

    9. Which couple will have the best Hallowe’en costumes? (as based on the usual poll of Monkseal blog readers)

    I want to say Dianne and the Rev, but part of me is hoping for something massively inappropriate involving Jonnie and a severed leg – I’m quite confident he’d be up for it.

    10.  Which dance will this year’s -athon be based on?

    Who cares? Probably Salsa, given Shirley Ballas Latin background.

    Sequins
    Which comes next in the following sequinses?

    11. Brendan, Darren, Ian, Vincent, Brendan, Erin, Natalie, Aliona
    12. Charleston, American Smooth, Jive, American Smooth, Charleston, Charleston, Jive, Quickstep

    Comings & Goings
    13. Which will be Monkseal’s Favourite of the three new pros come the end of the series?

    Dianne! Antipodeans and Homosexuals are weirdly intoxicating combination for you Monkie dear.

    14. Will any of the shows hosts, judges or pros announce their retirement by the end of the series? If yes, who?

    Darcey, hopefully. Sorry, did I say that out loud?

    15. Will there be any new romances officially announced between this year’s cast members? If so, who?

    Giovanni and Debbie, we know what we want. Also maybe AJ and Mollie or something equally boring.

    16. Will there be any babies announced amongst the show’s alumni (celebs and pros and…IDK Len, I guess it could still happen?) before the end of the series? If so, who?

    Natalie Lowe, because hey why not? Maybe Oksana because I need just a little touch of her weirdness, God this series is going to be boring.

    It Takes Two and Spin Offs
    17. Name one celebrity who will compete in this year’s Christmas Special

    Jeremy Vine, just so we’re clear I’m not happy about it.

    18. Who will win this year’s Pro Challenge?

    Gorka, because reasons.

    19. Name one celebrity who will Do The Tour (and therefore be massively favoured and have it rigged for them to win James Jordan #fact)

    Astin and Janette, seriously what the hell else is he doing right now?

    20. How terrifying will the intro to Karen’s Khoreography Korner be on a scale of 1 to 10?

    Scale Broke!!!

    Very Special Guests
    21. Name one act who will perform on a Results Show

    Ariana Grande, isn’t she Manchester’s Darling or something

    22. Name one person who will guest on a Friday Panel Doing The Most.

    Alexander Armstrong, because, ya know, past precedent.

    23. Which contestant will be top of the leaderboard the most times?

    Gemma Atkinson. Radicals Feminists are desperate to get another Female Champion, they’re going to “Year of the Woman” hard.

    24. Which contestant will be bottom of the leaderboard the most times?

    The Rev really seems like a shoe-in, doesn’t he.

    25. Which contestant will be in the most dance offs?

    Richard Coles

    26. Which contestant will perform in the Pimp Slot the most times?

    Jonnie Peacock. Let’s be clear I don’t think he’s going to milk his sympathy vote, because the producers are going to milk it for him. Whether he wants them to or not.

    Scoring Specifics

    27. What will be the lowest scoring paddle used for a dance this series?

    4 – I’m even less surprised by Craig, than he’s incapable of looking.

    28. In what week of competition will we see the first 10?

    Movie Week, it’s always Movie Week.

    29. And which judge will give it?

    Bruno, because it seems inevitable.

    30. And which celeb will get it?

    Astin Merrygold, what use is a ringer if they can’t score a 10 in movie week?

    Crack The Code 
    31. If :
    Christine Bleakley + Harry Judd = Thom Evans
    Richard Arnold – Carol Kirkwood = Ashley Taylor Dawson
    Julian Clary x Andrew Castle = Will Thorp
    Mark Benton ÷ Mark Foster = Judge Rinder
    Then answer :
    Denise Van Outen + Nancy Dell’Olio = Pamela Stephenson

    Who’s Going To Do The Best

    Predict who will get the best score for the following dances :

    32. American Smooth – Davood Ghadami, he’s so classically handsome, which always works for the American Smooth.

    33. Charleston – Susan Calman, I just think she’ll do a really good Charleston.

    34. Jive – Astin Merrygold, again what use is a Ringer who can’t produce a good Jive?

    35. Paso Doble – Alexandra Burke, she’s got Gorka to showboat.

    36. Quickstep – Mollie King, because AJ produced the second best Quickstep of last year and I just don’t think Ballroom is going to be Jonnie’s thing.

    37. Rumba – Debbie McGee, shut up stop telling me what to think.

    38. Salsa – Joe McFadden, he actually looked like he might have some decent hip action.

    39. Tango – Chizzy Akudolu, Wuthering Heights the sequel.

    40. Waltz – Davood Ghadami, let’s face the man was made for these romantic dances.

    Bits & Pieces
    41. Will Monkseal like any of the showdances this year?
    NO!!! Come on Monkie, you’re not even challenging us any more.

    42. How many times will the series champions be in the dance off?
    2, maybe less.

    43. Name one genre of dance (not including showdance) in which a perfect 40 will be scored
    Quickstep, I swear Harry Judd broke it.

    44. Name one artist whose song will be used for a Farewell Dance on the Results Show
    Steps – When I Said Goodbye. I’ll see myself out.

    45. Which celebrity will have the most mentalist Internet fanbase (to be judged by me, only me, if you’re in that fanbase don’t send me messages, it’s a badge of honour)?
    Let’s face it, it’s going to be Astin Merrygold. But part of me secretly wants it to be Debbie McGee.

    46. Which male celebrity will be the first to get the boys out in a routine for votes? (Nipples must be visible in order for this to count)?
    Davood Ghadami – now you’re just insulting us.

    47. Which female pro will wear the skimpiest outfit of the series?
    Janette, because past precedent. Maybe Nadiya if she really wants to claim the sexpot crown.

    48. Will Richard Coles perform at any point wearing a dog collar?
    YES. And if we’re lucky he’ll be dancing to “It’s A Sin” by The Petshop Boys when he does.

    49. Will any contestant at any point dance in the competition to a song by The Saturdays, JLS, or Alexandra Burke?
    I never got my “Mysterious Girl” Salsa, so I’m not all that hopeful on this one.

    50. What colour dress will Tess be wearing for the final?
    Black, it’s always Black.

    The Boot Order
    51. Tell me the full boot order for the series.

    Ruth Langsford
    Charlotte Hawkins
    Brian Conley
    Simon Rimmer
    Chizzy Akudolu
    Susan Calman
    Richard Coles
    Jonnie Peacock
    Debbie McGee
    Joe McFadden
    Mollie King

    Gemma Atkinson
    Davood Ghadami
    Astin Merrygold
    Alexandra Burke

    Reply
  10. Helen Zaltzman

    Obviously the answer to both 7 and 8 is La La Land. Week 7: we will be subjected to a waltz to the Audition song and a yellow dress and saddle shoes will be involved. Week 8: foxtrot to City of Stars, white dress, stars projected onto the floor.

    Reply
  11. BeyonceCastle

    Scrabble. SCRABBLE!!!! Dammit Janet.
    I like Scrabble as well, am most annoyed with myself (but not as annoyed as I am for not opting for Craig’s 2 paddle).
    Thanks for putting me out my misery. I am impressed with your commitment Chris, that must have taken ages.
    I will have to check but think I am on 10 (sticks tongue out at all those with 20 you clever lot) X

    Reply
  12. BeyonceCastleIsHarumphing

    Oh for fuck’s sake Tom! Nadine Coyle was on ITT tonight?!!! Seriously?
    I had her down for the results show, the biatch.
    Was sure we were going to have the return of Bad Boss Briefcase Brenda.
    Hells Bells. Now watch it be fricking Alfie Boe and Michael Ball.
    Or Gary Barlow’s boyband musical eejits. I am off to harumph.

    Reply
  13. camis71

    So, with Bruno being over-committed elsewhere this weekend, how does that effect the ‘best score’ for each dance if it’s danced this weekend? (Although given my rubbish scoring already, this really won’t affect my overall score!)

    Reply
  14. Matthew

    Yasss! At third, I’m prepared to drop like a stone. I’m assuming that’s me in third and i’ve been abbreviated to Matt, I’ll take it as a term of affection.

    Reply

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