That Thing That Len Said VII : The Final Insult

One more time before he goes…

Previously on That Thing That Len Said : In Series 7, Len appeared on It Takes Two and decided to tell the nation that Lisa Snowdon was the best female dancer never to win Strictly. To which we all collectively said “bitch please, she wasn’t even the best female dancer not to win her series. Or the second best”. Well, I did anyway, ater I wiped the coke splash off my tv monitor. In that moment, a yearly tradition was born, wherein we gather every year to decide who the best female (and male, I guess, like it’s a massively competitive field) celebrity never to win Strictly is. Every year, any celeb who scores 37 or more is added to the list, we revote, celebrate the winner, and then remove anyone outside the Top 10.

This Time : A female heavy update, as Anita, Georgia, Helen and Kellie all come up for consideration. The only male newbie? Peter Andre. Mmm hmm. (Please note for all the talk of the AMAZING STANDARD this year, only three of the current celebs have qualified at this point and only one more is remotely likely to). So ASK YOURSELF AGAIN, WHICH OF THESE LADIES IS IN FACT THE BEST FEMALE CELEBRITY NEVER TO WIN STRICTLY?


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26 thoughts on “That Thing That Len Said VII : The Final Insult

  1. Penny

    Very much pleased by the addition of Peter Andre to this list and will be hugely disappointed if anyone lets the side down by voting for him.

    Reply
      1. Minxy

        Lol did you forget that someone always has to be contrary? I usually am when no one particularly jumps out.

        But in this case it was probably one of Pondray’s pr team after getting a google alerts

  2. Beyonce

    Recent ones for me…
    Anita because whilst never being able to beat the Jay juggernaut, her showdance (yep, am counting the salsa as a showdance) was fantastic. Had she made the finals I had been hoping for a Bollywood number (think Will and Karen but less jai-hoey).
    Simon Webby LeastWorstMemberOfBlue because he did a darned good freestyle, none of that contempowafting, and was consistently good (Flackers messed up her AS iirc, or her costume got her. I do wonder if Danny will do Mac The Knife, or if it is still too recent).

    Reply
  3. veritywilde

    I always kinda think I should vote for Nathalie G because she was a really good dancer – and then immediately rule her out for her massive ringerdom. A bit like me and Danny Mac. I know. But I can’t help it.

    Maybe we should have a side poll for best celeb with a dance/musical theatre degree/background…

    Reply
    1. Gerry

      Sigh! Natalie never was a ringer! Those who persist in this calumny should research her actual dance history — yes, she went to the Italia Conti and graduated very well, but although she really wanted to learn to dance well, she was injured early on and much to her distress had to drop the classes.

      She only came back to dance when she was offered a chance at Strictly!!

      Reply
  4. Tal27

    Choosing between Austin and Colin is SO hard, but I always end up reluctantly going for Colin just because he was clearly the winner and was marked down for a choreography error! Strange also how both of them were partnered with the all time beat pro evah!!
    How about another poll for the best pro never to win strictly?

    Reply
  5. Evenratsdance

    I scrolled down the list of women and I swear I didn’t even see Natalie Gumede’s name. Which is odd because that series, I felt as if I couldn’t unsee her. It was only when I looked at the results I remembered her.

    Chelsee will always have my vote because I’d never heard of her before and ended up loving her ( partly for giving me the image of tearing Pasha’s suit off him in a crowded airport).

    And I voted for Ricky Nipple as a “sorry I hardly voted for Greg this year” apology to Nat.

    Chris, maybe you should just do a poll on our reasons for voting above: A. Sex: B. Apology to pro dancer; C.both.

    Reply
  6. Laura

    Austin (although it’s always a tough choice between him and Gethin) for the men. Women is always a tougher call, but I went for Anita this time out, mostly for her amazing Blackpool Paso.

    Reply
  7. Pops

    I voted for Chelsee – not only was she a great dancer, I loved her so much that she brought out my inner Claudia. I spent most of her VTs going ‘Oh look at her little face!’ And now she’s on Hollyoaks playing the mother of two kids who look older than she does.

    (Remember when she had her wardrobe malfunction, and Tess was seemingly the only person who realised she was upset because she thought she’d just flashed her boobs on teatime BBC1 and not because she might have temporarily lost her tango hold while hoiking them back in? That and the death glare she gave Bruno over the ‘bulls’ bollocks’ incident are my two favourite Tess moments. Admittedly, it’s not a long list.)

    Reply
    1. BeyonceC

      There you are! Good. All is well in the world. I don’t remember (m)any of Ricky’s dances but I have seen Pixie’s tango too many times to count. Hope you’ve had a good week H. The gymnast won DWTS this week, youngest ever to win. Not sure Cloudia will replicate that but would not begrudge her if she did.

      Reply
  8. Marcela

    My top three female non winners are (in chronological order): Rachel, Chelsee, Natalie. Since Natalie I haven’t been able to interfere with this top three, no female non winner has captured me like these three. From those three, my favourite is Chelsee.

    As for male non winner there is only one in my heart and his name Scott Maslen. I’m sorry Monkseal, I know you love Colin and he was fabulous but Scott and Natalie live in my heart forever like the sad shipper that I am. I still watch his Halloween waltz and the Hit The Road Jack’s jive till this day wondering what could have been *sobs*

    Reply

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