BLACKPOOL! And a bit of an odd Blackpool as the whole show seems to have been scheduled in reverse – all of the ringers and frontrunners at the start and our Underdog Males all scrapping it out in the last three slots. Fortunately (even if it isn’t reflected in the scores) a couple of our frontrunners oblige the usual run of things by putting out distinctly underpar performances – Ore tries his best with a Rat Pack casino themed dance that aims to mix foxtrot, Viennese Waltz, American Smooth, and the Mannequin Challenge, but which ends up looking as much of a dog’s breakfast as that sounds, but it’s Cloudia who really screws said pooch, with a cheerleader themed jive that is full of mistakes, forgotten segments, and empty gymnastics, all topped off with a skirt that only highlights how odd her legs look the whole time. Fortunately Louise and Danny both rise to the occasion, with the former giving the most RIDICULOUS Blackpool drama paso yet seen by human eyes. Lord knows where they go from here, but with thrones, backing dancers, constant skirt swishing, pyrotechnics and Kevin in guyliner, I think we just headbutted the glass ceiling. Danny’s Charleston? Just good dancing, letting him show off how light on his feet he was at the beginning of his Charleston expanded out to a full dance. It gets 40, and whilst it doesn’t quite warrant it, Cloudia got 36 so here we are. It’s Blackpool, it cannot be stopped.
The boys fighting it out to avoid the drop? Ed’s flying flaming piano is inevitably less exciting than expected, mostly because it’s sat securely on a platform rather than free-swinging, but his jive kicks don’t look totally terrible. Sometimes. It’s more than I was expecting to be honest. Greg’s handjive quickstep meanwhile is saved by Natalie turning everything up to 12 to distract from the fact that he seems to becoming a less and less assured performer as the series goes on. Poor boy looks TERRIFIED bless him. But it’s Judge Rinder’s Spice Girls salsa that gets to close the evening out and…well it’s a mess. An utterly charming mess, particularly when he styles out a botched lift like a drag queen styling out tripping on the stairs on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but a bit of a mess all the same. He seems most in danger to me, but…PIMP SLOT, so it’s probably all up for grabs in reality.
Best of all though? Right at the beginning? A truly fantastic pro-am group dance being performed to “One” from A Chorus Line. Even if the rest of the night was all downhill from there, at least we started on a high.