Strictly Come Dancing 14 – Week 6 Performance Summary

As ever on Hallowe’en we are grading on a scale of Gaymazingness only :

VERY GAYMAZING

  • The opening routine tribute to Pete Burns that features haunted flying dodgems and MAXIMUM reaching to camera!
  • AJ producing his best choreography yet as he heroically struggles with getting Little Mix for an American Smooth and just about carries it off!
  • Laura and Giovanni identifying what she does best and putting on another sexy live sex show on the floor with a Rolling Stone tango!
  • Daisy’s epic skeletal make-up, which does most of the heavy lifting for her in her Day Of The Dead flamencotastic paso doble, which somehow is enough for me!
  • Rinder proclaiming himself KING OF THE BUTTERFLIES and flying around super queenily to Lady Gaga whilst Oksana headbutts her way out of a giant condom cocoon!
  • Ed becoming bearable again as he bounces around stroking his dick and boobs erotically whilst dressed as a mad scientist to Love Potion Number 9!
  • Most gaymazingly of all Greg giving maximum emo arm-waftage to Evanescence with Natalie as a sexy ghost CARESSING HIM SEXILY FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!

SOMEWHAT GAYMAZING

  • Louise, just because I have a softspot for her which I find tickling itself awake again, as she does Harley Quinn with all the elan of a suburban mum who has been dragged out trick or treating and profoundly is not into it as her son does a load of dance moves he learnt off the Youtubes before egging everyone’s houses because he’s ot over-excited (KEVIN)
  • Anastacia, who is legitimately terrible, but the routine features billowing fog, Brenda on a hoverboard, and Bat Out Of Hell, so I can’t discount it entirely

VERY MUCH NOT GAYMAZING

  • Danny, whose foxtrot has a bungee cord gimmick that very much could work, but does not, leaving the whole thing feeling a bit like when Karen and (WHEN I WON WITH) Ramps got tangled in that mic cord that one time
  • Ore, who is just…flat out bad in a really poorly choreographed Charleston that features him as some sort of Mr Twit/David Bellamy hybrid and in which he and Joanne spend more time eating the set than dancing. And not in the usual way.

That’s right, Hallowe’en has flipped the script, and suddenly “DANNY VS ORE” doesn’t feel quite so much like the story of the whole series as it does the first half. With a lot of other popular men quite low down and swelled up by empathy votes, it feels like time to cash in some of those chips they’ve spent the last five weeks building up. Still, Anastacia is very much anchored to the bottom of the leaderboard, so it feels like the real Hallowe’en question is who is going to get to play slasher and put her and Brenda out of their misery.

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43 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 14 – Week 6 Performance Summary

  1. Aoife

    I really hope Ed getting good scores is enough to put him in the bottom 2 with Anastasia. Have a feeling it could be Greg though.

    Reply
    1. BeyonceCastle

      I think the ovary voters will spam vote again. Plus (insert Cartman voice here) Nat cried real tears of unfathomable sadness, so sweet.

      Reply
  2. ThatBeyonceHauntedCastle

    Ooh it was good tonight.
    Brill pro dance, worthy tribute.
    I have a huge crush on Harley Quinn so full respect to Louise for pulling off that look.
    Rob always makes me smile. Loved his paso.
    Claudia did well to say it is a cha cha track.
    Brenda out danced Ana (Tristan under danced with Jennifer Gibley, Brenda danced like Kevin)
    I liked the corpse bride elastic, shame Danny messed up a few steps.
    Laura leaves me cold, sorry. Good music for a tango though.
    Ore and Jo had poor music and theming. He might be in trouble.
    Liked Greg doing contemporary. Loved Claud more for denouncing the rumba as boring.
    Daisy was beautiful. Music meant watching Lucy Liu going at with Uma Thurman again though.
    Ed was more of a boob than Chelsea.

    No idea who’s going. Shame for Brenda if Anastacia goes one week after Gorka glory but she was the worst tonight. Nor would I be that bothered now if Ed goes. Ore, ruddy hope not or Strictly is racist will continue (esp if Ore vs Danny shock boot).
    #birthdaywarz on SCD is a new one on me, Oksana/Cloud can’t leave on their birthdays, c’mon, how mean would that be…watch Mark Ballas lose the finals on his 30th then get back to me.
    Nat is a goddess. Laura is Lou kinds of beige for me but Lou was Harley so gets a bonus.
    Good summary Chris, ta muchly x

    Reply
    1. That DJ Mikey

      The only acceptable Harley Quinn is any Harley Quinn who isn’t in Suicide Squad, also I feel that Harley’s original costume would have loaned itself so much better to Charleston..

      I don’t think Danny messed up enough to truly justify that score, especially not if Ed Balls is scoring 7s and 8s. The judges need to stop sugar-coating it, if somebody was crap tell them they were crap and how to improve. At least Bruno was realistic enough to say it was the only 8 Ed would ever get.

      I was beginning to forget why I love Claudia – let’s hope this isn’t a temporary reprieve.

      Laura was great – like all good tangos the story was “I hate you, but the sex is amazing”. But yeah, she’s a Tapioca Magnolia Melange. I’m predicting a week 8-9 boot, she’s not interesting enough to pull a Helen and get late entry shock boot..

      Reply
      1. ThatBeyonceHauntedCastle

        I suppose that’s a better story than “I really hate you, the sex is non-existent” šŸ˜‰

    2. monkseal Post author

      It’s a reality tv tradition for people to be eliminated on their birthdays. Between that and the death slot, Rindy can count himself lucky to be moving on.

      Reply
  3. Minxy

    Middle of the show I decided not to vote this week. Didn’t care who stayed or went.
    But then Ed closed the show and boom. EMRInRW made the right choice this week. I love watching Ed when he goes for it AND enjoys it so much. He isn’t ever going to be the best dancer but he IS improving and I love watching him.
    Didn’t think Greg and Nat deserved that mauling. That was one of the better male rumbas and in no way a blokarumba. And that was before seeing how upset they were. I hope he gets the votes
    Anastasia’s feet were glued to the floor. Not a kick in sight

    Anastasia v Ore or Danny in dance off (hopefully not greg)
    Anastacia to go

    Reply
    1. ThatBeyonceHauntedCastle

      I would like to know when content became important to Craig….he gave Peter Andre’s WorstJiveEverEvenWorseThanBattystacia’sā„¢ a six. A SIX.

      Reply
  4. ChaChaChavvy

    Greg – we are middle-aged ladies, we watch Richard Armitage period adaptations on UKTV Drama, we are angry and we are legion! (People started contacting me right after the show to say they were voting for him. I think he’ll be fine).

    Danny – I believe that rope thing means he and Oti have accidentally completed a Wiccan marriage ceremony, so ….. third time lucky Carly Stenson.

    Rinder – looking like a vampire with his tits out and going all fierce to Dead or Alive was all I ever wanted from the Judge, so the actual Paso was a pleasant enough cherry on the cake for me.

    Ore – judges’ pet. 6 from Craig to show they noticed the mistakes and overmarked by the rest to get him out of danger. Bonus points for looking like the elderly, crack-addict trumpeter in a ska band though.

    Ed – like that creepy neighbour where your mum said you had to run all the way home if he ever offered to show you his jigsaws.

    Laura – I suspected Giovanni + tango + Hallowe’en + Paint It Black would equal top of the leaderboard. Loved it.

    Louise – still on top of Plateau Giant Drip as far as I’m concerned.

    Anastacia – like when you had a go on the hotel pool boy that day your middle-aged husband had sunstroke and now you die inside every time you think about going back to England. (I think Brendan knows they’re going so decided to do this one as if she didn’t exist).

    Cloudier – should steal that outfit. I loved the staging, the dress and the routine, but not the song (obviously). Well done, AJ, on making that work.

    Daisy – actually it’s Daisy who needs to embrace her inner moth and not care about being a beautiful butterfly. Be ugly, be goofy, be wild, be dirty, but stop being so inhibited.

    Reply
    1. That DJ Mikey

      “Cloudier ā€“ should steal that outfit. I loved the staging, the dress and the routine, but not the song (obviously). Well done, AJ, on making that work.”

      What are you talking about? A song that, so far as I can tell, promotes the date rape of men – with possibly a cocktail of Viagra and Rohypnol – is totally thematically appropriate for the American Smooth. šŸ˜€

      Reply
      1. monkseal Post author

        It’s so clearly about cunnilingus, I’ve no idea where this “date rape” thing is coming from.

      1. That DJ Mikey

        He was a thing of beauty wasn’t he – in the opening dance I didn’t recognise him straight away, because he looked so much like Ryan Gosling.

      2. ThatBeyonceHauntedCastle

        In terms of Greg’s troos versus Aljaz’s breeches it was more a Withering than a Wuthering Heathcliff but he acted it well, especially the passionate photo grab onto desk angst at the end.
        Bless.

  5. Huriye

    Cloudia’s actual Birthday was earlier this week, so not to worry Beyonce. šŸ˜‰

    I voted for Judge Rinder & Oksana, Claudia & AJ and Ed & Katya, with honourable mentions for Greg & Natalie and Laura & Joe Varney.
    Rinder’s Paso was so underscored! If he wasn’t encumbered with those bits of material we could’ve seen his manly shoulders and stylish shaping more clearly, and the ending with his prolonged kneewalks was super! Why doesn’t he get the credit for dancing well from the Judges?

    I also read a review from an old Strictly hand dismissing Cloudia as nothing more than a gym bunny doing tricks earlier this week, which surprised me as she is technically one of the best dancers this year. So pleased she and AJ could rise above that hideous song. I actually enjoyed their VT too this week. šŸ™‚

    How on earth could Natalie create a slow, lyrical Rhumba to that tune for Gawd’s sake? I wish the Judges would be fair! Len said Dance equals technique and performance. Yes, and it also should be about musical interpretation, which that Dance certainly was. I was so impressed with Greg’s acting skills and storytelling, and am sorry I didn’t vote for him. How many other Contemporary ‘Rhumbas’ has Craig praised? Mark & Karen’s “Fields of Gold” for one. Don’t cry Natalie. šŸ˜¦ Though I noted Rinder pawing Greg’s manly chest and pretending his arm wouldn’t reach Natalie in the group hug. And who can blame him? As Tess introduced the next couple, you could see the Judges behind her giving Craig a hard time. Quite right too.

    I think Brenda’s selfish choreo totally left Anastacia exposed and alone for most of the routine with no steps in hold, just standing side by side with Brenda a foot taller and hamming it up, giving it large with the Brenda Latin facials and exaggerated movements. How could Anastacia keep up with that? I thought she looked fine, and CRH’s 4 was absurd. Why does the likes of Darcey insist on lecturing contestants about retracting the knee more sharply in the Jive? If they could do it, they would! After decades of Ballet training, she barely moves in the Judges’ Intro ‘Dance’. Still, at least not tipsy this week, hey Darce?

    I find it incredible that Louise’s mediocre Charleston gets a higher score than her superior Jive in week one. She lacks charisma and star quality, and every week I hope that KFG will land on his arse in his irritating high kick when the music stops after the intros. Can he calm down a bit and just stop trying so hard? Kellie is sat at home saying, “Yeah, last year you all blamed me for being the hyper one”.

    I think Wardrobe, Make-Up, and the entire production should be reported for foisting that abomination onto poor Ore. If he wasn’t a BBC man he would’ve loved to tell them to shove it. You could tell he hated every second of that routine. And who can blame him.

    I retweeted Matthew Bourne saying he wishes they could just dance as the Halloween themeing spoils it all and becomes too much. If you’re under 30 reading this, we never even used to celebrate Halloween. I remember being at Primary School and it was a minor thing being mostly about witches, not ghouls and horror, and none of this Trick or Treat malarkey. No, we saved our begging for Guy Fawkes Night, a much bigger affair, and at least a week before you’d make up a stuffed ‘Guy’ and go on the streets asking for a Penny. Then spend it all on Fireworks and Baked Potatoes on the Bonfire. Those were the days. Halloween has gone too far. šŸ˜›

    Reply
    1. That DJ Mikey

      Apparently what it takes for me to start loving a couple is being saddled with a song that’s completely thematically inappropriate/impossible and somehow making it work. It happened with Georgia and Giovanni last year and it’s happened again with Cloudia and AJ.

      I’m still stanning Danny, but AJ can totally comeback next year

      Reply
      1. redfred

        I don’t think I thought much of G&G last year until Ghostbusters, so… yeah.

        The judges are getting more and more erratic, and grading on a curve. Which, y’know, if that’s what it’s meant to be then fine, but they’re meant to be comparing like with like… so if Ed warranted an 8, what should Danny or Greg have got? Wondering if they’re trying to get Greg’s Latin out the way early so he can get into ballroom which seems to suit him more.

      2. MorticiaA

        I want Cloudier to confound the Ore/ Danny face off and sneak through for the win. I can even forgive AJ for looking like Ritchie Cunningham avec hairband.

      3. Huriye

        “Iā€™m still stanning Danny, but AJ can totally comeback next year”

        You’re on the turn DJMikey! It’ll be Twinks-a-go-go on the stairwell for you in future! šŸ˜€

    2. ThatBeyonceHauntedCastle

      Left Inside Alone?!
      But, had Brenda done a Tristan rather than a Kevin, we all know he would have got Antonned.

      Reply
    3. monkseal Post author

      A mediocre dance in week 6 will always score higher than a good one in week 1. Darcey gave the game away explicitly last year, but your score is always 25% how good it is, 25% what the Agenda Of The Week is, and 50% what week it’s being performed in.

      Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Who knows where technology will take him next year? Or beyond! I have fond images of a 55 year old Brenda flying around on a jetpack next to a middle aged Adele.

      Reply
  6. ThatBeyonceHauntedCastle

    I think Rob will be fine Huriye…that’s my Mothman Prophecy šŸ˜‰
    These are my only jokes folks.

    Reply
  7. Stormy

    Poor Nat. She and Greg were boned with that song. It was *way* too fast to get what Craig would have considered a Rhumba. You could see them both having to dive from move to move just to keep up with the tempo of the song. I loved it, though. I mean, I agree it wasn’t very Rhumba-y, but it wasn’t their fault really.

    Reply
    1. ChaChaChavvy

      Another week and another couple Craig would have been swooning over the ‘contemporary feel’ and the ‘modern twist’ and the ‘dramatic performance’, and so on. It’s the inconsistency that bothers me.

      It also bothers me because for the past five weeks, despite being landed with some ropey tunes, Natalie has given Greg plenty of content and not coasted by with heavy props and themes or allowed Greg to win votes by mincing around pulling comedy faces (Ed). The one week she skimps on content she compensates by wringing a breakthrough performance from him and they get slated for it. It was a brave performance from Greg because, if he struck a false note, that kind of routine could have made him look like an absolute tit. The likes of Louise and Kevin aren’t taking any kind of risk, despite having a massive headstart on many of the others, and yet her valium-faced Charleston is hailed as a breakthrough.

      Reply
      1. missfrankiecat

        I agree. No rumba but he really went for the drama very successfully and that was impressive from a non-entertainer. Natalie’s a pro though – those tears pulled in some votes!

    2. monkseal Post author

      I have to admit I don’t get all this talk of how “fast” Bring Me To Life is. Particularly in the verses it’s fairly typical ballad speed. It’s more the fact that it’s an utter mess of a song. WITH A RAP BREAK.

      Reply
  8. Lesley Rigg

    I was totally delighted that they started with Spin you Round, although I suspect it was always on the song list, and so was less a tribute than it might have been. But, still,….. cool fairground

    Thought that it was nice that they re purposed all that fern from the Great British Menu from Friday night and stuck it on Laura’s face!! Think she was last in the make-up room and got whatever Lisa Armstrong had hanging around! Oh and that dance was… there

    Loved the Day of the Dead Make-up, and it helped to push Daisy’s characterisation.

    That hat wasn’t doing Cloudia many favours, lovely little feet she had.

    I liked the different stance that the Judge and Greg took on those dances. They played to their strengths. I thought the butterfly outfits were lovely. I’d go out in them!

    Snaps for Katya working miracles and maybe even saving him for another week – I laughed… a lot.

    Poor Danny

    Ore? Meh…..

    Natalie – love the very bones of her…. x

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Yeah, apparently the routine had been on the table for ages and it was just bad/good luck that Pete died recently. I think it’s a nicer sort of tribute than, say, some sort of big icky Bowie tribute that I hope against hope they don’t have planned. I don’t need to see Anton telling everyone to let the children boogie.

      Reply
  9. Carl

    The makeup team really went out this year – I guess to try to hide how mediocre most of this cast is? Well, it didn’t work, but points for trying. Still, there were a few I enjoyed.

    Best:

    Laura and Giovanni – Not something I’m going to remember in a week, but they had a good connection, Laura had genuine commitment instead of being afraid as some other women are every week, and the tension built throughout the tango. Good job.

    Claudia and AJ – Also not one I’ll have in my head for long, but good dancing and a good partnership as always. The show just keeps throwing awful music choices at them and they keep on throwing them right back. The height difference distracted me more than usual thanks to AJ’s trousers, as he kept slouching and his very nice backside stuck out enough to make Brendan seethe with jealousy.

    Better Than I Expected:

    Rinder and Oksana – He kept his mouth shut, which is worth a 40 alone. This was a solid paso, and he was clearly trying. Not sure about the butterfly intro or costumes but I’ll assume that someone behind the scenes is a fan of The Web Planet and this means more classic Doctor Who material will be found shortly.

    Greg and Natalie – WAKE ME UP. Yes it wasn’t rumba, but I just can’t care. The connection between Natalie and Greg burns especially bright when so many of their “betters” are wan and routinely act like they’ve never met before the day’s taping. I have a feeling we’ll get variations of, “He’s beating out the good dancers” if he stays much longer, but most of them are so dull and overhyped, they’re just not going to work up enthusiasm, no matter how much the judges and producers stamp their feet and wave their paddles. /WAKE ME UP.

    Worse Than I Expected:

    Anastacia and Brendan – I wasn’t expecting anything good but I had no idea they would take Peter Andre’s jive, remove the backing dancers, and add a smoke machine. Just awful.

    Exactly What I Expected:

    Louise and Kevin – A labored charleston where you could see Louise going through the motions, looking more like Charity Tate than Harley Quinn. Kevin was having the time of his life, and Louise was left behind.

    Daisy and Aljaz – Yet another hesitant dance from a couple who lack any chemistry whatsoever. Aljaz is one of the most forgettable pros for me and Daisy is mostly memorable for bouts of awkwardness. Well that and in this dance, looking like Karen “everyone loves me” Hardy.

    Events Beyond Their Control:

    Danny and Oti – The bungee cord was twee twaddle that reminded me of Mia Michaels and why I stopped watching SYTYCD. It’s an act of divine order that such a pretentious piece of prop went haywire. I’m not sure I would have been into this even without the mishap, but we’ll never know.

    Ore and Joanne – On one level this was the usual Ore and Joanne special – glaring anti-chemistry, a non-couple dancing completely out of sync to the point where I wondered if they were edited together like those shameful old Fred Astaire vacuum ads. On another, Ore really had no chance with such wretched choreography and costumes that looked like some sort of no-budget children’s show that aired for a few episodes in 1983 and gets thrown onto Youtube for nostalgic purposes. One of the worst routines I have ever seen on this show, especially from a couple who are supposed to be some type of ideal.

    Ed Balls Is Ed Balls:

    Ed is a strange mix – he could be a good dancer but never quite is; he could be good comedy but never quite is. This was just a little too “I’m so terrible, laugh at me,” for me to enjoy, but I can certainly see why people did.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Mia Michaels and her twee twaddle were baked into SYTYCD from episode 1 series 1 don’t kind yourself otherwise.

      Reply
  10. Marcela

    Laura’s over scoring was so high it made me sick! It made me feel so ill, I nearly had to call Dr Blurry McQuack.

    Reply
    1. ThatBeyonceCastle

      Another reason to love you Mikey but sadly Maks will be stuck in the States avoiding nappy changing. Mini Maks (it’s a boy apparently) due in the New Year. Where’s his socks in that photo?! He’ll catch his death.

      Reply
  11. missfrankiecat

    I do wish Vincent Simone was still around, solely to partner Cloudia, because she really is learning faster than any of the others in my eyes and has real talent but height wise she and AJ are always going to look odd and little Vinnie was a better choreographer and possibly teacher. Maybe the powers that be would also be less inclined to treat her like an adolescent if she was paired with a slightly older partner – mind you that never stopped them with Chelsee Healey and Pasha.

    Reply
    1. Carl

      I don’t remember them being much better with Dani Harmer, although at least the producers didn’t constantly give her silly kid material.

      Reply
    2. monkseal Post author

      All better than the queasy balance of Tess reminding us how young Matt Di Angelo was in 50% of their interactions, and then using the other 50% to nude nudge wink wink about how he was slinging it up Flavia.

      Reply

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