As ever on Hallowe’en we are grading on a scale of Gaymazingness only :
- The opening routine tribute to Pete Burns that features haunted flying dodgems and MAXIMUM reaching to camera!
- AJ producing his best choreography yet as he heroically struggles with getting Little Mix for an American Smooth and just about carries it off!
- Laura and Giovanni identifying what she does best and putting on another sexy live sex show on the floor with a Rolling Stone tango!
- Daisy’s epic skeletal make-up, which does most of the heavy lifting for her in her Day Of The Dead flamencotastic paso doble, which somehow is enough for me!
- Rinder proclaiming himself KING OF THE BUTTERFLIES and flying around super queenily to Lady Gaga whilst Oksana headbutts her way out of a giant condom cocoon!
- Ed becoming bearable again as he bounces around stroking his dick and boobs erotically whilst dressed as a mad scientist to Love Potion Number 9!
- Most gaymazingly of all Greg giving maximum emo arm-waftage to Evanescence with Natalie as a sexy ghost CARESSING HIM SEXILY FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!
- Louise, just because I have a softspot for her which I find tickling itself awake again, as she does Harley Quinn with all the elan of a suburban mum who has been dragged out trick or treating and profoundly is not into it as her son does a load of dance moves he learnt off the Youtubes before egging everyone’s houses because he’s ot over-excited (KEVIN)
- Anastacia, who is legitimately terrible, but the routine features billowing fog, Brenda on a hoverboard, and Bat Out Of Hell, so I can’t discount it entirely
VERY MUCH NOT GAYMAZING
- Danny, whose foxtrot has a bungee cord gimmick that very much could work, but does not, leaving the whole thing feeling a bit like when Karen and (WHEN I WON WITH) Ramps got tangled in that mic cord that one time
- Ore, who is just…flat out bad in a really poorly choreographed Charleston that features him as some sort of Mr Twit/David Bellamy hybrid and in which he and Joanne spend more time eating the set than dancing. And not in the usual way.
That’s right, Hallowe’en has flipped the script, and suddenly “DANNY VS ORE” doesn’t feel quite so much like the story of the whole series as it does the first half. With a lot of other popular men quite low down and swelled up by empathy votes, it feels like time to cash in some of those chips they’ve spent the last five weeks building up. Still, Anastacia is very much anchored to the bottom of the leaderboard, so it feels like the real Hallowe’en question is who is going to get to play slasher and put her and Brenda out of their misery.