Strictly Come Dancing 14 – Week 3 Results Summary

The movie themed pro dance this week features Giovanni as a humble cleaner who schemes of usurping Golden Age Hollywood Star “Aljaz Skorjanec” (not with that name hun, change it to “Alan Scorpiano”) and taking his place as the lead in a film also starring Joanne Clifton. And he succeeds! But Aljaz is kind of a dick so it’s ok, and in the end ALJAZ becomes a cleaner because that’s how Hollywood works. Lose one leading role and POOF it’s all gone! You’re done! See ya! Handsome men definitely don’t get chance after chance after chance until something sticks pay no attention to the Ryan Reynolds behind the curtain.

Len’s Glans this week features our LGBT judges getting their proper due, as Bruno and Craig are both tasked with making silly faces and nothing else, whilst Darcey clarifies what she meant when she was talking about Greg going in too hard with the lifts, and Len gets to tell us what both a coup de pique AND a fishtail are, in the context of dance. He doesn’t sadly go over Will’s salsa and tell us exactly what the problems with the content were, as I am sure we were all dying for. Him going over all 8 solitary bars of salsa with a smuggins look on his face. LEN VS WILL! CRAIG VS RINDER! DARCEY VS SOBRIETY! SEASON OF THE JUDGE FEUDS!

Our guest performers are Alfie Boe and Michael Ball, performing “Somewhere” from West Side Story. Exactly.

And so on to our results. Everyone having strongly predicted an Anastacia vs Naga Bottom 2, of course neither of them are there, and instead we’ve got Laura vs Tameka instead. So not quite the full fat outrage goodness of a Will or a Louise or a Daisy in the Bottom 2 but enough to get people rattled when Naga’s still walking around safe with a face like death (although hilariously she seems absolutely genuinely THRILLED to be saved – you never can tell I guess). Neither lady seems to particularly take it well, with Laura vibrating and crying and pouting during the vote reveal like she’s going to rip her wig off and let someone HAVE IT as soon as she gets backstage, and Tameka flashing her knee bandages to everyone all “YES I WAS INJURED BUT *I* STILL DID THE DANCE-OFF WHAT OF IT?”. It’s Tameka who goes home, in the end, even though she appears to marginally (marginally) outdo Laura in the dance-of.

And so we roll on to “Ed Balls Does A Paso” Week. Naga vs Anastacia for SURE next week thought right?


27 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 14 – Week 3 Results Summary

  1. Lesley Rigg

    Michael Ball and Alfie Boe in the dance-off, Alfie goes – either that or I will be forced to prod at my own ears with a fork until they bleed!! I know they are identikit similar – but the Ball is cool and Boe makes me want to throw things at the screen!! Maybe it was seeing Michael as Marius in Les Mis when I was 18, maybe it was Hairspray or him loving Victoria Wood but I can forgive him – not the other one!!

    Did other stuff happen?

  2. catherinehirst

    The most successful film they could have done for Movie Week was a whodunnit mystery about who in the band murdered “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic”. My god. More horrifying than the Saw movies.

  3. ChaChaChavvy

    I’m pretty sure I saw a Coup de Pique in the Utility section of Crufts.

    Anyway, Movie Week worked, in the sense I turned into a cross between the Incredible Hulk and Joe Pesci in Goodfellas ever since I found out the result. Giovanni in tears and the lovely Gorka, and his lovely everything, gone. I’ve got to watch the feckin’ Cliftons and their feckin’ tedious choreography and their feckin’ pro dance hogging all the way up to the feckin’ final, haven’t I? (That was the clean version. Joe Pesci was much less kind). If they get rid of Gorka after one series I will go mental. It’s Week 3 and this shit is going partisan!

    Darcey was so wrong about Greg and Natalie. The lyrics of the song are ‘I’d die for you’. Of course the lifts had to be dramatic and full on, rather than smooth. Louise, on the other hand, was doing a routine about a woman dancing her heart out at a make-or-break audition, and yet she danced it like she was pointing out stuff she liked in the Lakeland catalogue.* Kevin needs to give her some direction.

    The music for the pro dance was rubbish for Movie Week but I did like Giovanni and Aljaz. Fancy making Aljaz a meanie when we all know he’s adorbs.

    * I do get excited at the Lakeland catalogue. More excited than Louise was in that dance.

  4. DJ Mikey

    This outcome is completely unacceptable and this isn’t just Gorka bias here, Giovanni is still in the pro dancer gang bang on my head, but Laura is like Tapioca – if Tapioca were somehow even more bland and boring than it already is.

  5. Isolde

    I can’t help feeling that Tameka’s lack of votes might be to do with the way she muscled in at the end of Ore’s dance. All that “me, me, me” might have put people off voting for her, if they were briefly considering it.

  6. Huriye

    Glad to read you thought Tameka edged the DO Monkseal. I was genuinely shocked that Len did not vote for her over Laura. It’s confirmation, as if we needed it, that it’s never the DO performances alone that are voted on. Unlike in DOI I hasten to add.
    Gone far too soon 😦 Tameka & Gorka will be sadly missed and the show will seem a little flat next week. 😦
    I don’t watch EastEnders, but I’m surprised a character from that show should not get the public vote….? I thought it was popular? I did see a “okay Ore will be next, as all the black folks get voted off” tweet. But I’m sure it was more to do with getting an inappropriate rock track for a Tango. How much longer? The Coupe de pique may have been removed from the competition Paso as ‘we don’t want to endorse the stabbing motion of a cruel bullfight’ but Strictly will see off the whole of the Tango if it carries on like this! But then we got Naga sailing through……? Inexplicable, but that’s the GBP for you. I wish she’d tell her face how excited she is to be there, I’m still seeing a horrified look/glazed boredom.

    Does anyone know who did Cloudia & AJ’s Charleston choreo? I had assumed it was Jenny Thomas, but she apparently worked with 2 other couples last week.
    It really might be Ore to go next, as he’s beside himself with excitement that Gene Kelly’s widow has posted his Dance on fb so might not cope with training this week.

    1. Marcela

      I think there were quite a few Eastenders who were first or second boot. I don’t think being a soap actor translates into votes, contrary to boybanders who seem to rely on their fanbase a lot more. But that’s a rather philosophical question that I wouldn’t have the correct answer for, I’m afraid.

      1. monkseal Post author

        Eastenders actors tend to do fairly well, but they tend to pick ones who can dance, so it’s hard to tell if it’s definitely an advantage or not.

      2. Gerry

        The first Strictly ever had Christopher Parker coming second to Natasha Kaplinsky when he was almost as appalling a dancer as David “Mahogany” Dickinson — the young Eastenders dahnce disahster’s only real ability was pulling in the phone votes.

    2. Carl

      Usually people who are still on Eastenders last longer than this, but I think it was a combination of many things – she was very polarizing (she is even with many EE fans), her tango wasn’t that good, people assumed she wouldn’t be in any danger.

      If Naga ever showed any hint of improving or if she and Pasha didn’t look like they were going to wither away and die from mere contact with each other, I’d rather she stay over one of the comedy bores (Rinder in particular). Of course most likely, the first sign of improvement will mean she’s out.

  7. Woman in the Hat

    I would have liked to see Tameka and Gorka stay as well, though I would have missed Giovanni and the sight of him wiping tears off his face while the results of the DO were being read out was quite harrowing. I just can’t warm to Laura, though – mainly because she isn’t Georgia, which isn’t very fair of me.

    Loved Giovanni in the pro dance – the boy can act! Aljaz being cast as the baddie – haha, as if!

    What do we think the lovely Gorka’s chances are of a renewed contract next year, considering the early exit? If they can do it to Trent… (Still bitter.)

    Wonderful blog as ever, thank you so much for putting in the hours. It’s a slice of sparkle in the dark winter nights up here in the frozen north.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I think the chances of Gorka coming back are fairly slim. I know people are all HE’S FIT, THEY’D BETTER KEEP HIM, let’s see if they even remember who he is in 2 months time let alone come contract renewal time. Oti got lucky last year because her situation was more obviously sympathetic, and also 5 other pros up and quit all at once, which meant they were probably just blindly nailing everyone else down to stop them moving.

  8. Minxy

    Best/most surprising part of the night
    Anton actually looking worried that he may go home – he really wanted to stay for once

    Pissed at Tameka going. She danced better than Laura both in the show and in the dance off.
    Tho I wouldn’t have liked to send Laura home either – but that is what happens on Strictly

  9. John

    I’d be more sorry for Tameka if she hadn’t pulled out her knee bandages at the end. Was she trying to show up Anastacia? A bit crass, that, and probly exemplifies what people had trouble with about her.

    like last year, I don’t seem to agree with much of the comments. I liked Jamelia when folks were laying into her, and didn’t mind Andre despite the crushing drone of his flapping gums.

    This year I think Naga and Pasha are perfectly fine together, she’s just a bit rubbish and unsuited. That’s all. And the crazy Cliftons are just hilariously daft nutters, not some dancing mafia.

    1. Even rats dance

      Finally found someone saying what I’ve been thinking – wasn’t very kind of Tamara to do the leg injury thing at the end. I do like her and I don’t think Anastacia is some sort of saint because of her health problems – but come on, the woman’s had breast cancer and was presumably advised not to do the DO, so I found Tamara’s display a bit thoughtless at best.

  10. Pops

    I was sad to see Tameka go, but my dad will be chuffed as he couldn’t stand her. Although if my dad was the new head judge/Evil Moira in a rainbow wig, any celeb caught whooping on the stairs after their dance would automatically be in the dance off, regardless of the public vote. He probably found Jake Wood a bit too effusive as well.

    I don’t normally vote until the midway point, but I voted for Daisy this week, just because it did look like a bit of a shock-boot leaderboard.


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