Strictly Come Dancing 14 – Week 3 Performance Summary

It’s Movie Week, and tonight was brought to you by the producers behind “Let’s get rid of Patrick Robinson because we want an all-girl final” and “Let’s get rid of Peter Andre because Jamelia is causing us problems with the press”. Anastacia is given the Death Slot, a nice Viennese Waltz to a song from Twilight that already put Kimbotley Walsh in the B2 in series past, is given nice comments by the judges and nice marks, leaving her near bottom of the leaderboard, all after a confusing VT where she appears to receive medical consultation for her (vague) injury by a consultant in Witness Protection. Will it see her off? You’d think so, but this show has done odder things for a laugh, and the other likely denizen of the Bottom 2 (Naga) is even worse than usual in a Mission Impossible tango that’s mostly her struggling to get out of a harness then swinging a torch around like it’s a lightsabre. So who knows?

Elsewhere, the YEAR OF THE MAN looks like it’s finally getting going, as three of the top four on the leaderboard are all gentlemen. Well…male. And when’s the last time that happened? Danny sweeps in with a Zorro themed paso doble immediately after Anastacia leaves the floor, wiping her out the memory of Brenda as a Sparkly vampire even harder, Greg does Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves (the arse issue solved this week via tasteful deployment of jerkin) and throws Natalie around repeatedly like she weighs nothing, and Ore finally gets his arse in gear by channelling Gene Kelly in an American Smooth to Singin’ In The Rain that might just be the bait Middle England needs to lift him above 1% popularity. And tug-boating along in their wake is Will Young, who is the weakest technically of them all and just does Bollywood rather than anything that looks like salsa, but who grabs valuable controversy points by picking a fight with Len, who promptly yells at him to SHUT UP. But you know, in a jokey way. Totes bantz. Like he had with Brenda the week after his father’s funeral. Fun for all concerend. At the other end of the table Ed Balls also grabs the eye by finally giving in pretending that he’s trying to be good in his The Mask themed samba by just running around everywhere gurning his face off dressed as Grotbags and Dick Tracy’s love child whilst Katya does potters wheel spins on the floor. It’s hypnotic. Truly.

Of the female front-runners (if any of you are still kidding yourself that such a thing exists this series), it’s Cloudia who has the best night, doing a Bugsy Malone Charleston that’s full of truly eye-watering tricks and some decent dancing as well, if a slight lack of wot ve judges might call yer “musicality”, as Louise very definitely takes her foot off the pedal in the cha cha, in the pimp slot, performing a bit of a messaround Flashdance routine complete with moves from the Naked video, officially ceding the floor to Danny for him to be Official Early Frontrunner. To be honest, this might work out better for Louise in the long term and, well, it’s a CHA CHA. Also she’s got her arse hanging out, so this may well be the end of the “Louise Shops Exclusively At Simply Be” storyline. Let’s hope so. Daisy meanwhile opens the show, and does a very credible quickstep dressed as Mary Poppins, but is there Naughty Aljaz, as seen on It Takes Two? There is not.

Meanwhile if you’re shopping about for SURPRISE BOTTOM TWO participants, Laura does a very raunchy salsa indeed that only Bruno really likes (the fact that it features Giovanni frenching Bruno halfway through may have something to do with it) and Judge Rinder meets the Flintstones and Oksana almost meets the floor as we come closer to a totally botched lift than we’ve come in a long while. You’d think Lesley (full of energy with a classic Anton ballroom) and Tameka (GORKA! AS! A COP!) would be safe but well…there’s a lot of ties on the leaderboard. Anything could happen. Truly. Len and Will could have a West Side Story dance-knifefight in the carpark and we could have our second week in a row of injury scandals, who knows?


39 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 14 – Week 3 Performance Summary

  1. Martin

    For me, Naga is a cast-iron certainty to be in the DO and maybe there might be an Anastacia backlash, with no sympathy voting at all? Apart from that, agree that it could be one of four or five others…

  2. ChaChaChavvy

    The Good – Classic lift-tastic Natalie (dance of the night for me); Hot Cops; 70 year old Lesley pulling off more content than the rest of the lazy-arsed buggers put together; Naga and Pasha looking like a married couple struggling to remove the strap-ons after the hotel chambermaid has knocked on the door.

    The Bad – Will Young, feckin’ toffsplainer! If you’re going to pull out the ‘talking back’ schtick, do it in a week when Len isn’t absolutely right, and try to sound less like you’re putting an uppity oik back in his place.

    The Huh? – Danny and Oti’s Paso was ok but felt a bit wafty and skippy and lacking in drive and manliness. I felt the marks were more about creating a Movie Week moment, rather than reflecting what we saw. I can’t believe Laura and Giovanni’s decent salsa-y salsa scored less than Will and Karen’s DWTS shite.

    The Pros – I know he has his weak spots but I think Anton is one of the show’s better choreographers; Giovanni’s dance faces are my favourite ever; Brendan thinks he’s been sold a crock and has checked out early – again. I wish Anastasia had gone to any of the other male pros.

    Did anyone else think there was a bit of a weird atmosphere tonight? It felt a bit narky and subdued and like a lot of them hate each other.

    1. Marcela

      I think you’re right, there was something weird about tonight. I suppose it’s partially to do with the Anastaciagate aftermath but, yes, there was a funny vibe going on.

      1. Carl

        It’s what seems to happen every year where hype meets reality – the current structure of the show (endless props and themes and stunts, breathless overhype) means that it can never be half as good as they say it’s going to be. Add in the distinct lack of chemistry between many pros and their partners and the poor singing and music choices, and it’s a damp squib. At least there are a few who are likeable and not bad dancers either, but sadly they don’t seem to be any of the show’s pets.

    2. kikishua

      I sensed an atmosphere as well – as if the comments were all tiptoeing around a huger than normal number of egos.

    3. monkseal Post author

      I hope so, I love those series.

      I think Anton has definitely found his niche 13 years in. Oddly enough, of all the pros, considering that he’s supposedly Mr Old School, he’s the one who’s benefitted most from the constant props and themes and broader scope for comedy, whereas it’s sent Brenda a little off kilter because he’s got so many little personal avenues (the 80s! vampires! Johnny Castle! musical instruments!) that he wants to run down that nobody cares about.

  3. Woman in the Hat

    Oh dear, Naga got a duff choice this week. Were the public ever going to warm to a Mission Impossible catsuit tango, even a well executed one? Also, I miss happy Pasha. I’ve been watching old videos of him and Chelsee just to cheer myself up. He’s so excited and smiley in them all.

    Ore’s weekly appearances seem to be a following the trajectory of a small child at a birthday party: over-excited, then showing off, then crying. Maybe next week we’ll find him sleeping it off on a couch backstage somewhere.

  4. Breppo

    I never thought this day would come, and it pains me deeply, but Claudia is getting on my (Muji) wick with her lame attempts at being funny.
    Naga is indeed DO fodder, but didn’t she look hot, hot, hot!!! Redemption after that wig disaster from last week.
    Most enjoyable dance of the evening: Ed & Katya II.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Yeah, I think the scriptwriters are leaning in a little too hard with Claudia now. The LOLRANDOM inserts with totally spontaneous cracking up are getting a little predictable.

  5. Huriye

    Monkseal this week I have to disagree! I voted for Cloudia, Ed & Lesley, as much for their fantastic Pros aswell as their thrilling performances. I couldn’t stop watching Katya’s amazing legs and Samba rhythm in the opening of their Dance! Stunning! ❤ I am falling in LOVE with her dancing, enthusiasm and how she is pushing Ed. HE LIVES IN STOKE NEWINGTON DONTCHA KNOW! Clearly the Labour Party chose the wrong Leader. A Samba with proper Samba music! ❤

    I LOVED AJ & Cloudia's Charleston! They came straight off the Bugsy Malone set, and WOW! Her amazingly fast and swivelly steps! ❤ AJ looked a dream in his suit. I will beat up anyone who disses him on this blog, be warned DJMikey! 😛 I think the show is very lucky to have two such incredible new Pros this year, who have recently been competing in proper competitions. It shows.

    I also am full of admiration for Anton this year! Ha ha Marvelous! He has produced three beautifully entertaining routines, capturing the essence of each Dance. Lesley must be a dream to work with. Her Quickstep had about 50% more steps than Daisy's did. And SHE'S 70! How can you not marvel? Wonderful! You know out of the 3 of Lesley, Pauline and Linda, that Lesley is the best dancer by far.

    I also loved Cheeky Bert played by Aljaz with Daisy's Mary Poppins. But can someone tell her the name of Aljaz's character, she kept calling him Dick Van Dyke. Aljaz so gets this show, in every way he is practically perfect. ❤

    Laura looked a bit like drag, but she threw herself into it. I didn't like the music for Danny, not the track from Zorro I was expecting. But super routine again from Oti.
    Will never looks elegant or finished to me, he looks like a mess. The Bollywood dancer in their VT was stunning! Invite her to perform as a guest instead of decrepit singers.

    Ore was charm personified, and I adored his routine, so casual yet stylish, the essence of Kelly captured by a Sports presenter – Amazing! ❤ At last Joanne doesn't stuff it up. Wardrobe did well to make her outfit look like Debbie Reynolds's Mac. And Ore even did a trick with the brolly at the end!

    Sooooo many props, felt sorry for the celebs. Pasha struggling with the harness seemed an eternity, expected a man to run out and do something, then Karen Hardy screaming "WE HAVE TO GO AGAIN IT'S NOT FAIR!" Naga did look stunning though, as did Pasha. I couldn't say the same for Gorka and Tameka, also clad in black. That Tango was awful, and she could be bottom 2. And how can the VT show the Inside Soap Awards but not Mr Steven Perkins?! Puh!

    Poor old Judge Rinder. I feel he was undone by so many props. One of the clubs fell off before they'd started, so Oksana had to wave her hands. Shame. I wish they'd just allow the celebs to Dance sometimes, eh Eville Moira?

    Louise closing the show with that number was rather underwhelming. And brave of her to wear that outfit with exposed thighs after some of the stunning pairs of legs we've seen. Boring Cha Cha too.

  6. Carl

    Last year I never got the “no personality” and “can learn the steps but nothing is going on” stuff with Jay, so I guess Danny is my education in that area. He and Oti barely had more chemistry than Naga and Pasha on the dance floor, and the paso was very flat and incredibly choppy, not helped by the two of them being given bulky, cheap costumes that looked like something from an MST3K C-grade Western. If he’s the best man this year then I guess I’m not going to get much out of them.

    I don’t know if wardrobe hates Will or if his ego is big enough to actually come up with these outfits himself, but that outfit was hideous. He looked 4 months pregnant, for one thing, and for another, he looked like a sitcom episode about the idiotic sidekick who decides to become a rapper. And I could hear someone on Twitter screaming “CULTURAL APPROPRIATION” from the minute he appeared. I can’t blame them…

    Was Kevin trying to do a Brendan tribute with that Louise…erm…dance? I haven’t seen anything so hesitant and cringey since Lisa Snowden.

    The only thing I could notice with Daisy and Aljaz was that their singer needs to stay far away from the Mary Poppins songbook. The dance itself was cautious and forgettable.

    Ed danced like he was being held at gunpoint…

    If there’s one constant on Strictly it’s that the “comedy dance” contestants aren’t actually very fun…Rinder is not doing anything to change that for me. The whole thing was the epitome of rictus grin.

    I’ve sometimes rolled my eyes at the whole “Anton can do ballroom but not Latin” because a lot of his ballroom is…questionable, but that a fun quickstep that actually allowed Lesley to dance while still having humor and personality. Kudos to him.

    Giovanni was aggressively outdancing Laura – between that and the hideous “singing” and her weird fish faces, I don’t want to see this one ever again.

    I have a feeling this will be the only dance Claudia will be remembered for in her time on the show. The only charleston that actually came close to what I enjoy about the dance. Not perfect, but entertaining, and she was really trying. She didn’t have the energy or movements AJ did, but she certainly did a decent job. He looks so much like Zack Morris sometimes, I wish he’d partnered with Louise – her hair and outfit tonight was pure Jessie Spano.

    Natalie and Greg – along with Anton and Lesley, one of the main couples this year who actually have a certain chemistry. That really comes in handy with dances like this that are pretty but disposable.

    Ore and Joanne – nice and sweet, marred by his facial expressions. As I liked Tom Chambers I guess Ore is also my education on those who were not fans…

    Pasha and Naga – The best part was when I thought he’d spend the whole dance not being able to get her harness off. As a couple they are like some sort of ’60s expressionist work on the futility of existence.

    Anastacia and Brendan – she looked very scared, although I can understand why. It was a nice enough dance, but I’m scared for her when they go back to dances that have a hint of energy to them.

    Tameka and Gorka – That cop uniform and the dirty thoughts it provides are the only thing I will remember from this awkwardness.

    1. monkseal Post author

      AJ wishes he looks like Zack Morris, he looks like someone in the background at the Max who rolls his eyes at Screech then disappears.

  7. Marcela

    I felt a weird mixture of boredom, anger, despair, embarrassment, annoyance, and hopelessness last night. Bored by Anastacia, embarrassed (but in an amused way) by Ed, disappointed with Ore (I’ll always be disappointed when they do Singing in the Rain; Donobot, ugh), and so it goes.

    Louise looked like a mum who took her kids to the baby rave (yes, it’s a thing, don’t ask) had a bit too much chardonnay and let it lose at the last choon. I dunno, all in all, a bit of a damp squib and a kind of weird vibe. Odd.

    Naga? It’s written all over face she is absolutely hating every second of it. I’m starting to feel sorry for her.

  8. Kate

    I’m hoping its Naga and Anastacia for DO. Naga doesn’t look happy and I can’t enjoy watching an injured woman “being brave”. Its supposed to be entertainment.
    I voted Danny, Ore and Ed, because they had a great time, but it could have been Lesley and Cloudia too, both little dynamo’s.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I did like the plaintive “how to be BRAVE” early in the lyrics in Anastacia’s performance. So subtle.

  9. Lesley Rigg

    I thought Claudia and AJ’s Charleston was adorable, particularly the custard pie over Darcy (Blood Orange and Pumpkin ala Tom no doubt) and I loved Lesley and Anton’s quick-step – I thought she rocked it – whatever age she is! I was curiously much more delighted and enchanted with it than I was with Danny and Oti’s Paso – it left me cold because it just seemed a bit limp, and well if I’m honest… Austin Healey! 😉

    I then stayed up and watched Cabaret to dissolve some of the weird artificial sweetness in some of the other dances tonight… I wonder if Michael York could dance? Mein Herr

  10. monkseal Post author

    Guys, I will get round to answering the comments as usual, but just a reminder that any comments relating to the spoiler will be deleted even if they don’t explicitly mention who goes home.

    1. Huriye

      Monkseal, could you please also make the following stop asap? Cheers.

      1. Kevin to stop high kicking on the final flourish of the intro of “our dancing stars”. Every week.
      2. Clawdia to stop saying “but you worked so hard”. To Every contestant.
      3. The celebs who probably usually watch XF to STOP saying “really smashed it”, “nailed it”. etc. It’s not ITV.

    2. Trudi Clements

      Look forward to the extended version MS! Are you doing The Apprentice this year, or is GBBO & SCD enough on your plate as it is?!

  11. BeyonceCastle

    Afternoon you lot!

    My favourite of the night was that Bollywood Salsa. Adored it. It did have salsa in it (have watched it many times), a lovely fusion…
    Maybe I am just so acclimatised to DWTS that I am happy enough just to recognize some steps 😉

    My daughter could not tell who the pro was between Oti and Danny, she guessed correctly on facial expression. Did not like her dress with the bodice on the outside.

    Despite others saying Tameka not much cop, I loved the theming* of that tango. RIP Glenn Frey (died this year). Wonder why nothing was said of her injury. *Am an 80s chick though. So also squealed at the ending of Lou’s cha cha cha and Bruno going for it half way through cracked me up.

    Wardrobe did a great job of covering Greg’s arse with that doublet. Very clever.

    Naga looked amazing eye make up and suit-wise. Cannot believe less was said about the harness fiasco. She might not be good but that false start must have had some sort of impact.

    Agree Anastacia was thrown under the bus. Nice hair though. Brendan was doing his best to be supportive. Understated.

    Cheered on Ed for the last part of that samba. Even though his impressions were fantastically cringeworthy.

    Liked Cloud’s charleston. But I still like Tina’s better…am the only person who liked Jared (last on the pros list, really?) but they did a lovely routine to the same track.

    Meh? Laura. Voted for her to be omitted from the blog this week. Just not seeing it.

  12. Minxy

    Very much a mixed bag this week – and everyone seems to have viewed different dances to each other and me from what I have read.
    But not the worst movies week ever.

    Leslie was fabulous – and yet she just kept saying sorry for messing up toAnton. She really has made him up his game eh? And far far better than the lovely DOT waster amen from last year
    Ed a technically crap Samba yep but … C’mon how often do we get a technically proficient Samba even from the ringahs? (What does your spreadsheets say?). It was fun, he was on time, energetic and characterful. Katya is definitely a keeper and I want to seeEd in the final over Danny despite Danny being a great dancer.

    I couldn’t get into Danny and Oti’s dance – at least Austin had Powah and pizazz. Wasn’t helped by them disappearing into the background lighting – which often happens when outfits and lights are the same colours I spent most of the dance looking for the Man in the Hat . Gloti was great at the judges tho lol

    Am I the only one who loved Tameka’s outfit? Loved last week’s too. They are some of the best outfits WARdrobe have ever managed for a fat contestant – doubly so for a short fat one (and as a short fatty myself I wish I could carry them off as well as she does). And the dance was on the upper end of OK for me

    Liked Ore and Jo singing in the rain. They worked hard and successfully but wish he would stop faking the nehrves -he is getting less attractive the longer it goes on – and he is so physically attractive (Ed is going the opposite way)

    Louise oh dear! The nerves really got to our Ringah this week huh? Very much “Bad Drunken Auntie reliving her youthful dreams dancing” going on there (I am so glad there weren’t cameras showing 20million any of my frequent experiences of doing the same ). The visual equivalent of hearing anyone trying to singalong with Whitney’s “I will always love you” . No, just NO! And lighting did such a good job of not only highlighting her bum in the starting pose but changing the colour – I had to rewind because I thought her outfit magically changed. She has a great figure and needs to work on getting over the insecurities.

    And I love Will – never watched pop idol, never heard him sing only knew his name but am now a fan and want to go on the piss with him.. I liked the dance. I could see salsa in there but with such a strong Bollywood song what else could they do?

    Nat and Ginge – he’s coming along nicely. We know she can correct pigeon toes since she did it to Ricky Nipple for the final. He is much better than expected.

    Free Naga – bring the potential or gtfo. We know she can put on the wurzel gummidge heads ala Ed. she does it all the time at work and home

    My dream finalists so far are Ed, Leslie, Will and Greg. They give me the most pleasure

    1. Pops

      Is Adam a redhead? The Archers actors never look like I imagine them (although I would like to see the return of Brian Aldridge: Strictly Acting Coach after his masterclass with Gavin Henson. Or maybe they could draft in Rob Tichener for this year’s designated ‘too nice to paso’ contestant).

  13. DeltaBlues

    I don’t know why Len was being such a Pwecious Pwincess about a little bit of cream landing on the desk…after 14 years of sitting next to Bruno lusting after any young fit bloke, you’d think he’d be used to it.

  14. jgcameron1992

    Okay – I know Ore did well this week, he earned his 35 but please for the love of god can he calm down???? Its wearing so thin. My least favourite contestant this series by a country mile, and I thought I’d dislike Louise/Kevin!

    What a joy to watch Lesley was, criminally undermarked despite gapping (never stopped Abby Clancey getting 37 did it?). Besides that I really enjoyed Tameka, Claudia and Danny even if his music was a bit limp.

    I’m glad Anastacia did better, understated worked for her and she needed to let the audience breathe. Wisely played, I hope she lives another week.

    I have Naga going but with so many ties it really could be anyone, its a dangerous looking leaderboard this week.

    1. DJ Mikey

      Don’t even get me started on Clancey and gapping – you could’ve parked a Bus between her and Aljaz during that Quickstep, since Quickstep is my fave ballroom I found the discrepancies between her score and Sophie EB’s completely unacceptable..

  15. Baby Jane Hudson

    Did anyone else get CJ the homicidal (allegedly m’lud) Egghead vibes from Judge Rinder in that wig? I was half expecting him to chuck Oksana in a canal at the end (allegedly etc).

    I’d been looking forward to the Rodgers and Hammerstein pro routine but was rather underwhelmed – it just felt really rushed and nothing was given any proper time to get going. I was also hoping to see Gorka dressed in a sailor suit in homage to South Pacific, or playing the role of Curley in (buttless) chaps for Oklahoma, but we got Neil Jones(??) as Curley, bloody nuns and Fräulein Maria’s curtains instead. So much wasted potential. I was amused to see Brendan looking more like Dr Evil than Yul Brynner/ the King of Siam though.

  16. John

    Pasha in black. Ore smooth and sophisticated. Greg showing off his bwute stwength. Goodness, the thirst.

    Shame about the elimination. I thought that couple had a few more weeks in ’em. Performance wise and pro-wise. Plus we could leap straight from one ruddy controversy to the next.

    Still sick of Ed Balls getting overmarked for flailing his arms around. Good to see Anton and Joanne helping their partners with great routines.

    On a side note, Kevin’s face was Amazing when his loopy Fraggle Rock denizen of a wife ❤ was dancing like a nutter at the end of the show. It was a cardboard cut out 'what the bleep is she doing?' Genuine contempt. XD

    1. monkseal Post author

      Well if there’s anything that’s true of this series you can always be confident there’s another controversy coming just around the corner.


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