Well it’s a good job that this show began with Gorka doing a crap job at pretending to play the guitar with his top off, otherwise it would have been no fun at all. He’s part of a group Argentine Tango to “Pillow Talk” that involves a lot of Oksana being flung around willy nilly and dramatic balconies and lightup podiums, and Brenda gets to play King Rat, so that’s always fun. Our other guest performer is Barry Gibb, who is just…making noises at this point, really. He’s accompanied by Giovanni and Janette.
After an exceptionally lengthy recap, Len’s Glans features Len himself pinpointing exactly where Daisy’s Derty Evel Lift happened, although even he has to admit it’s a borderline case ; Darcey makeing sure that Danny’s Viennese Waltz technique gets thoroughly picked on just so we know he’s not completely bulletproof ; Craig explaining what he meant when he said that Claudia was hyper-extending, although the best way was probably to direct people to one of Bruno’s metaphors ; and Bruno going into raptures over Tameka’s Charleston. Still looks a mess to me, but what do I know.
Apart from a couple of preview hints for next week’s Movie Week (Tameka on tango! Daisy as Mary Poppins! RINDER FLINTSTONE!), the real meat of the drama is this week’s elimination. The identity of the bootee (Melvin) isn’t particularly dramatic, but what is is the route to get there, as it features Anastacia being identified as being in the Bottom Two, clerly being shocked, having a panic about exacerbating her injury from the day before, saying she’s scared to do the dance-off but will do it anyway, and then Claudia riding in on TERMS AND CONDITIONS to say it has been ruled that Anastacia cannot perform in the dance-off and the rules that they definitely have not just made up say that this means whoever has the fewest public votes goes home. Which it turns out is Melvin. Imagine Anastacia crying quite a bit during this as well.
For a series that started off seeming like it might be the most flamboyant and upbeat yet, it’s not the MOST jolly start.