Strictly Come Dancing Pro Poll 2016


44 (38). Jared Murillo – 2.74 (3.05)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Tina O’Brien – 11th place

Most 2s
Most 1s
Lowest Male
Lowest Former Pro
Lowest One Series Wonder

So it’s official, after handing the baton to Kylie Jones last year, everyone’s favourite Mormon boybander has regained his place at the bottom of your pro ranking, and just in time for an even YOUNGER and even WEEDIER LOOKING (no offence AJ) young pup to arrive in the pro line-up to relegate him even further to irrelevance in the grand story of Strictly pros. I was going to say that I felt bad for Jared, but I went to his social trolling around for new pictures to use for this countdown and apparently he’s pro-Trump, so fuck him.

43 (40). Andrew Cuerden – 2.95 (2.96)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Jaye Jacobs – 11th place

Fewest 7s

I had a conversation recently about Andrew Cuerden where pretty much the limit of what I could find to say about him was that he was sort of hot and sort of really wasn’t. Hopefully that picture there is sufficient evidence for that thesis. Otherwise, well done for guiding the only ringer in Series 3 to being the second boot Andrew, your legend lives forever.

42 (35). Paul Killick – 3.01 (3.33)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Verona Josephs – 6th place

I guarantee you that there is an alternative universe where Paul is the Bad Boy Prime of Strictly, and Brendan Cole retired after his second series after detaching Carol Vorderman’s ladyparts from his face. But it ain’t this one. Actually, to be fair, Paul probably wouldn’t have done Celebrity Love Island. Or Just The Two Of Us. Or Flockstars. Or…

41 (41). Kylie Jones – 3.19 (2.16)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Jason Wood – 8th place

Lowest Original Pro
Lowest Female Pro
Fewest 9s

And lo, many years ago, all too briefly the Mother Jones lived on Strictly, but as she died she laid her eggs deep in the soil. Only now, 13 years later, do her blasted children crawl from neath the ground to rise up and seize their birthright. As Mother Kylie was the first, so Neil and Katya will be the las…oh wait, they’re not related? Never mind. (Also, that is a MASSIVE climb in average score and I would be keen to know what, if anything, caused it. Was she on The One Show?)

40 (37). Hazel Newberry – MBE : 3.31 (3.10)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Quentin Wilson – 10th place

Fewest 10s

I’m so glad more and more of these ex pros are getting on LinkedIn, it makes this whole process so much easier.

39 (39). John Byrnes – 3.38 (2.97)

Most Common Score – Don’t Know
Best Finish – Claire Sweeney – 5th place

Fewest 6s
Fewest 5s
Most Forgotten Pro

This sadly is not a new picture of John for this blog, because I have literally run out. Despite the fact that his website is full of hilarious pictures of him and his wife crawling over one other in chunky knits and safari gear, I can’t seem to copy them to desktop to use. BOO JOHN, BOO etc etc. Anyway, despite this (which I’m sure was forefront in all of your minds when voting) John stays steady in the Pro Poll, and also raises his score slightly from last year…as more and more of you forget him. What that says, who knows?

38 (33). Hayley Holt! – 3.46 (3.78)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Mark Foster – 11th place

So when we last left Hayley Holt she was a judge on Dancing With The Stars New Zealand. Was this a sign of a rekindled love of dance after years post-Strictly of ping pong’ing around the world of showbiz? NO OF COURSE NOT. Truly it wouldn’t be the annual Pro Poll without Hayley Holt doing something completely different from what she was doing when we last checked in, so I am glad to tell you that Hayley is currently the presenter of a political discussion show set in a pub, called BackBenches. I am not making this up. She also had a cameo in Shortland Street, but let’s face it, so has every living Kiwi, it’s more fascinating by far that Hayley’s natural love of the environment as a snowboarder (yeah, remember that whole era?) has spiralled into her being a leftie Green Party warrior with a mic and a mouth on New Zealand’s equivalent of Newsnight. I can’t wait to see what she’s doing this time next year. I might actually make it a competition – £50 if you can guess.

37 (36). Izabella Hanna – 3.51 (3.15)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Dennis Taylor – 8th place

Image result for Alaska gif

36 (34). Hanna Haarala – 3.56 (3.63)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Will Thorp – 7th place

Is that a penis in my ear, or are you just pleased to see me? (In fairness, Hanna and Andrew’s stint in Strictly Erotica now appears positively tame compared to James and Ola talking about how they almost accidentally seagull’d on Bruce Forsythe’s face once, but it’s good for a quick joke all the same).

35 (31). James Jordan – 4.00 (4.19)

Most Common Score : 1
Best Finish : Denise Van Outen – Runner-Up

“Ola, my sweet, my love, fragrant lamp through my misty darkness…”
“What is it James? You are looking particularly…taken by my moonlight by my eyes this evening foresooth”
“Ola my Polish Delight, I cannot contain my tumescence any longer. Your boobies are looking particularly fulsome this evening and we must…you know…”
“What? What my dove, what must we must?”
“Why but we must make love my little frolicking starfish. Make love right here in the Pro Poll results!”
“Here? In a BLOG? Oh James, we cannot! What if one of the children wander in from an old Over The Rainbow recap and offend their eyes with our nakednessness and your dick and stuff?”
“I care not Lady Ola, my full prick must have answer! I will knee-slide you! I WILL KNEE-SLIDE YOU RIGHT HERE NEXT TO THE TWITTER PLUG-IN GOSHDARNDANGIT!”
“Oh James, truly our love is without parallel that we would jizz into our naked selves near such public danger like this thusly dramatic sigh!”
“Well if it sells books…”

34 (32). Hanna Karttunen – 4.34 (3.83)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Christopher Parker – Runner-Up

It’s pictures like that that really convince me that Hanna K was wasted as a nursemaid for a particularly sulky comedy contestant, and instead she would have been much better served as a ballroom dominatrix, lending greater interest to maybe otherwise potentially slightly dull hunks (*cough*DANNY MAC*cough*). Cha Cha to S & M anybody? With actual whips and chains?

33 (29). Brian Fortuna – 4.54 (4.69)

Most Common Score : 5
Best Finish : Ali Bastian – 3rd place

Most 5s

Guys! Guys! I found it! I found the creepiest picture of Brian Fortuna in existence! Call off the search, Dancing With The Stars has trumped us yet again!

32 (26). Karen Clifton – 4.67 (5.10)

Most Common Score : 5
Best Finish : Mark Wright – 4th place

Lowest Current Pro

Poor Karen. It’s a time honoured path to Strictly popularity to partner an amiable duffer and get them about halfway through the competition before leaving gracefully (as gracefully as you can possibly leave whilst dressed as a miner, incoherently waving a pickaxe around to a Paul Weller song) but it doesn’t seem to have done an awful lot for Karen Clifton. Maybe it was the name-change? Anyway, she’s lined up perfectly for a run at the glitterball this year, so maybe that’ll boost her up a bit. Or maybe three more months of CLIFTONMANIA will only tarnish the brand further yes to be honest that does seem more likely oh well.

31 (27). Nicole Cutler – 4.68 (4.98)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : John Barnes – 7th place

That’s Nicole’s new husband. She has a type doesn’t she? I mean…hopefully not in all senses, but…

30 (30). Joanne Clifton – 4.70 (4.36)

Most Common Score : 5
Best Finish : Scott Mills – 11th place

Most 3s

I have to admit “Joanne was really good on It Takes Two” is kind of the new “James Jordan was really good at presenting and interviewing when they gave him a chance” in that…if you want to go with that line then it’s more positivity in the universe and fair enough. I guess she got better. At any rate, a year on the sidelines as a bridesmaid (and frequently dressed as one) means that Joanne has held steady in her position on the Pro Poll and also increased her score by somewhere near half a point, pushing her above her new sister in law. Now let’s see how we feel when we actually have to watch her compete again…

29 (28). Anton Du Beke – 4.95 (4.90)

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Lesley Garrett – 3rd place

Most 4s

Bit exhausting wasn’t it? The Year Of The Anton? Everything going so well for those first two dances, then…not well as soon as Katie got hit with the cha cha, then the brief shimmering transcendental series high of the Viennese Waltz, before a plunge into the real dross, then a sudden surprise of a triumphant rumba and a decent enough Blackpool, before gradually descending back into the usual Anton Endgame of just scraping through every dance and puttering out in a truly bizarre Gladiator themed showdance after bumping Anita off the show almost accidentally. I’m surprised, frankly, that Anton’s heart held out and he’s spending this series active again and not in a smoking jacket in Choreography Corner. Thankfully this year seems like it might be a bit more traditionally Antonesque for him.

28 (23). Robin Windsor – 5.00 (5.81)

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Lisa Riley – 5th place

After spending most of his first series off poking around in a romance with an X Factor runner-up and halfhearted prodding his fans into petitioning the BBC to bring him back, Robin finally got his act together this year and strung together a bizarre travelling menagerie of Strictly veterans and cast-offs including Aliona, Anya, Chelsee, Jay, and Lisa Riley. Truly something for everybody there. Who knows if this will be a yearly tradition, and next year he’ll be roaming in a pony and trap with Jared Murillo, Esther Rantzen, two chimpanzees and Patsy Kensit trussed up in the back? I CAN’T WAIT!

27 (24) – Janette Manrara – 5.03 (5.80)

Most Common Score : 5
Best Finish : Jake Wood – 5th place

Guilt by association love. You can have the three quarters of a point back next year. Maybe.

26 (25). Ola Jordan – 5.25 (5.63)

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Chris Hollins – Winner

Lowest Winner

“Karen! What a pleasant surprise! I was just walking innocently through this delightful patch of woodland, delivering freshly baked cinnamon buns to Grandpa Bruce’s house!”
“Karen! Gosh, how assertive! Still, I can easily spare one bun for such a beautiful and talented frien…”
“Golly! Well I suppose I can always bake more! James and I have been blessed with massive advance sales of our new classy memoirs! It’s number 472 on Amazon already!”
“Karen, no, not Grandpa Bruce! He’s such a kind old man, and he smells of peppermint! I love you like a sister but I won’t allow it!”
“Noooooo, my manicure!”

25 (18). Kevin Clifton – 5.37 (6.38)

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Frankie Bridge/Kellie Bright/Susanna Reid – Runner-Up

Biggest Faller (Score)

And that, incidentally, is the biggest fall in score between series in the history of the Pro Poll, just beating out…Ola Jordan from last year. At least we don’t have to ponder too long on the reasons, as last year Kevin defied the rules of Sorting Hat fairness by getting his third good partner in a row and then, entirely objectively, was quite annoying with her. Hopefully they’ve not given him yet another ringer this year oh wait they totally have I give up.

24 (19). Trent Whiddon – 5.76 (6.36)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Pixie Lott – 6th place

Not a great year for Trent in the Pro Poll as we all settle into the realisation that he really isn’t coming back, and all start to move on. Apart from Pixie Lott, who apparently is still on a one woman crusade to get Trent back on Strictly, bringing him up in every interview at every opportunity, always in glowing terms. And not just him, Gordana as well. You have to admire that sort of dedication from a celeb to their One Series Wonder. What have YOU done for YOUR ex pro lately Patrick Robinson? Hmm? HMMM?!

23 (15). Darren Bennett – 5.85 (6.53)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Jill Halfpenny – Winner

Biggest Faller (Places)

Dancing With The Stars : Lebanon judging panel, or a terrifying den of vampires currently conspiring and set to devour the gawky English professor virgin who has wandered into their midst? (God knows why Darren of all people dropped the fastest down the list this year, did he say something rude about Aliona winning again that passed me by? HE COULD HAVE WON TWICE IF HE’D HAD SOMEONE FROM A SUCCESFUL POP BANoh wait)

22 (21). Camilla Dallerup – 5.90 (5.91)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Tom Chambers – Winner

Camilla Dallerup is now a life coach. My mind can go no further than that, it is stuck.

21 (14). Brendan Cole – 6.03 (6.57)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Natasha Kaplinsky – Winnner

Another tumble down the list after the highs of the Sophie Ellis Bextor year, as Brenda followed up not really looking like he gave a damn with a partner with potential with not really looking like he gave a damn with a partner without any. Hard to say which was preferable really. I think my favourite Kirsty & Brenda moment was when she slagged off his music choice for the paso doble whilst he was stood 3ft away from her. Although I say that because it’s the only Kirsty & Brenda moment that I remember at all.

20 (20). Kristina Rihanoff – 6.10 (6.44)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Simon Webbe – Runner-Up

A year of contrasts for Kristina, as she veered from partnering the saintly Daniel O’Donnell for about a month of tasteful routines and chaste friendship, to the other extreme – announcing she was up the duff on Celebrity Big Brother, as in the background Nancy Dell’olio lounged drunk in a lounge chair, Stephanie Davis shagged some nomark from Irish TOWIE, and…well . Still, congratulations to Kristina, and Ben and Little Mila and I’ll get working on a new female pro to be the punchline for all my sex jokes.

19. (NE) Gleb Savchenko – 6.15

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Anita Rani – 5th place

I’m not saying there’s any element of “a woman scorned” about this placement, but he was doing a lot better before he announced he was off to get a bigger paycheque and some new sidechicks to bang on Dancing With The Sta….sorry, “spend time with his family”. Don’t worry, based on the Gleb Cycle, he’ll be back in 4 years time, with a little bit more of a paunch, a little bit more wrinkled around the eyes, but still ready to love you baby. It’ll be just like the first time.

18 (17). Tristan Macmanus – 6.23 (6.39)

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Jamelia – 8th place

70% now. Across his two series of Strictly Come Dancing, Tristan MacManus found himself in 70% of the bottom 2s for which he was eligible. In his first run this was a necessary function of being partnered with one of the oldest and definitely the least famous member of the entire cast, and you could tell he took it in his stride. This year though? The non-stop rollercoaster that was the journey of the biggest Bottom 2 Goddess in Strictly History Jamelia clearly took it out of Tristan, as for the last three weeks at least he was all but yelling “I DON’T CARE ANY MORE ZOE, JUST TALK TO JAMJARS HERE AND LET ME CASH A PAYCHEQUE!” through a wadded up napkin. This of course culminated in Jameliagate when, on her fifth (!) time in the Bottom 2, Jamelia finally went home…and shouldn’t have. Tristan though, as she sat mugging and making air-quotes for the camera, was already a cloud of man-shaped dust, off to raise his kids and never think about this acursed gameshow again. This leaves Anton as the only remaining pro not dedicated to electrolysing his body hair off until there’s nothing left but…let’s face it, he has enough for everyone.

17 (NE). Oti Mabuse – 6.26

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Anthony Ogogo – 14th place

Most 7s
Most 6s

Just think – if she can get this high with only half a partner, how high can she climb when she’s got one that works? LOOK OUT TOP 3, HERE SHE COMES!

16 (20). Anya Garnis – 6.29 (6.08)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Patrick Robinson – 5th place

Highest One Series Wonder

Sometimes pictures are just too Eurotrash to be ignored, you know? Anya continues to reap the benefits of her willingness to dance on tour with anybody (no really ANYBODY) associated with Strictly, even tangentially, to keep her name circulating. It’s probably too late to be invited back onto the show to compete, because the show hiring a woman in her late 30s seems…unlikely (although as a trained lawyer you know she could come in handy if Aliona finally unplugs the floodgates on those lawsuits you know she’s got backed up and ready) but a job’s a job, and Anya seems to work pretty regularly for someone whose impact on the casual viewers was pretty much nil despite having a run to the semi finals under her belt.

15 (NE). Giovanni Pernice – 6.48

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Georgia May Foote

Congratulations to our highest placed newbie, as he made a decent start to his time on Strictly as a personality, despite not really speaking much English when he started. Then again, Natalie Lowe is from an Anglophone country and 50% of her vocabulary is the word “amazing” so who are we to judge? Giovanni got his feet more than wet on his first year, with a romance, a run to the final, and a bizarre and misguided showdance ticked off his Strictly Achievements Chart already. What will this year hold? Well so far if you go by the press all three all over again. Maybe the variety will come next year eh?

And so with all the newbies ticked off and accounted for (Giovanni having done better on this poll that you thought he would this time last year, Gleb as you expected, and Oti a bit worse), time to do the same for our four (FOUR!) debutantes.

14 (13). Karen Hardy – 6.59 (6.87)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : When She Won With Ramps

Always. This. Picture.

13 (12). Katya Virshilas  – 6.89 (7.16)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Gavin Henson – 5th place

Congratulations to Katya and Klaus on the birth of their first baby. And as a little boy, hopefully we’ll see him, and Kristina’s daughter debut in Series 38 as a terrifying new power-pro couple.

12 (9). Matthew Cutler – 7.06 (7.32)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Alesha Dixon – Winner

This is Matthew and his friend. As much as I can tell they run a number of dance studios together (although “as much as I can tell” is as of a few years ago, Matthew has DISAPPEARED of late) and take a lot of pictures of them together with their dogs. Good luck to Matthew and his friend. *mazel tov*

11 (11). Lilia Kopylova – 7.09 (7.25)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Darren Gough – Winner

This meanwhile is the last public recorded appearance I can find for Lilia, a video endorsement for a health spa where she went for a pamper after her baby was born, alongside other celebrity revelers Lisa Riley, Tracey Ann Oberman, Dionne Bromfield, Gail Porter, and Tamzin Outhwaite. What a party!

10 (22). Aliona Vilani – 7.14 (5.83)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Harry Judd/Jay McGuiness – Winner

Highest Climber (Scores)
Highest Climber (Positions)
Least Forgotten Pro

A debut appearance in the Top 10 for Aliona here, as her stomping all over the competition with Jay appears to have inspired the readership in a way that her stomping all over the competition with Harry didn’t. Who can say why? Maybe if Harry had done a showdance about getting numb on crack things would have been very different. Aliona leaves with her reputation as a pro of extremes firmly branded on Strictly history, always either out immediately or in the thick of it all the way to the final. Or sacked. Or throwing herself down the stairs. Or launching a lawsuit over hairdye. She will be missed. Until they’re forced to rehire in three series time for whatever reason and she makes them grovel.

9 (10). Artem Chigvintsev – 7.19 (7.27)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Kara Tointon – Winner

I’m not sure if “three women over 50 and Micha Barton tottering around crying” was what Artem had in mind when he binned Strictly off to go join Dancing With The Stars. Maybe in his hed there were visions of him partnering Ariana Grande or Mila Kunis to glory, rather than sitting on the C List as all the ringahs get doled out to a Chmerkovskiy Brother or Derek Hough instead. In fairness, if you’re going to be given the designated “gigolo for the older lady” role, it is no doubt more glamorous to be doing it with Patti Labelle than, say, Fern Britton or Lesley Joseph. Still, the door’s probably still open Artem, if you can get that visa sorted.

8 (8). Vincent Simone – 7.28 (7.38)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Rachel Stevens – Runner-Up

This entry update is going up on the eve of the beginning of the London run of Vincent & Flavia’s last EVER show together. As one of the last real hold outs from the era when the pros were presented in pairs because they actually danced well together, rather than just because they were shagging, it’ll be sad to see the sun set on the whole “Vincentenflavia” era and I look forward to seeing whatever it is they do next. Other than Celebrity Come Dine With Me.

7 (6). Erin Boag – 7.46 (7.92)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Colin Jackson – Runner-Up

Highest Original

Erin Boag at the minute meanwhile just seems to be enjoying long walks with her kid, and good for her. And she and Anton are probably still touring somewhere as well at some point. Ha ha marvelous.

6 (4). Flavia Cacace – 7.78 (8.16)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Louis Smith – Winner

Most 8s
Fewest 2s

By Flavia? Bi Flavia? Buy Flavia? Bye Flavia? It’s a mystery isn’t it? Anyway, in her own quiet Flavioid way Flavia has been quite juicy in the pre-season, saying that Vincent was more jealous of her bagging the glitterball than her shagging Matt Di Angelo, and also that she doesn’t watch the show any more because all the new pros are bitches who can burn in hell. I mean, I’m paraphrasing to a degree on both counts through Flavia’s impeccable politic, but it’s there. Maybe this is why they’ve stopped inviting her and Vincent back for their annual showcases? It’s always the quiet ones.

5 (5). Iveta Lukosiute  – 7.83 (7.99)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Mark Benton – 7th place

Jesus Christ are ALL these women pregnant? Remember the countless years of teasing that SUCH AND SUCH a pro is going to leave the show in order to get up the duff? (Or in the case of Lilia, usually because she already was). AND NOW THEY ACTUALLY ALL ARE! What a new era we’re in. Although, this IS Iveta we’re talking about, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she eventually pulled a giant wibbly wobbly clown or a traffic cone out of there come the birth.

4 (3). Ian Waite – 7.89 (8.51)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Denise Lewis – Runner-Up

Highest Former Pro

OK, I’m prepared this time. His name is DREW. He is a PILOT. He and Ian LOVE ONE ANOTHER VERY MUCH (probably, unless they split up recently, I mean, these things happen, we all remember Robin and Whatsisname) (no not Lisa Riley, how rude). Anyway, I’m not saying that Ian’s dip in score is due to Waite’s Wednesday Warm-Up getting a bit stale, but it couldn’t hurt to introduce some new gimmicks could it? Maybe do it on rollerskates or have a Clifton in the background for no reason?

3 (2). Pasha Kovalev – 8.12 (8.55)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Caroline Flack – Winner

Finally, Pasha got what I always wanted for him this year (other than a winner obviously, I haven’t stanned for him since 2007 to not see him win *something* at some point) – a wacky older lady to partner. Don’t get me wrong, Pasha with a ringer (or an eventual girlfriend) is fun enough, but ever since he partnered guest choreographer and professional Bette Midler lookalike Melanie LaPatin for a salsa because his regular SYTYCD partner had been rushed to hospital, I’ve longed to see Pasha play the (pushing 40) gigolo again, and his partnership with Carol Kirkwood delivered in spades. It gets lost in the massive nostalgia push for Jeremy Vine, but Carol got almost was far, and was twice as bad, and even with the BBC Breakfast advantage that has to be worth something right?

2 (7). Aljaz Skorjanec – 8.24 (7.70)

Most Common Score : 9
Best Finish : Abbey Clancy – Winner

Most 9s
Fewest 1s
Highest Male Pro
Highest Winner

So Aljaz is this year’s other big winner in the pro poll, after Aliona as he continues his Hammond Bounce by getting to experience the third flavour of Strictly pro-support fuel after being a high profile winner and doing well with a comedy contestant – getting, like Colin Jackson, “wuzzrobbed” by a Dancing Wardrobe. Of course in this case it was because Musicals Week saw a Beauty & The Beast vs Les Mis dance-off, rather than because…well, Darren Gough. Taking the biggest ringer in Series 13 and delivering a 6th place for them might have reflected poorly in other circumstances, but let’s face it, managing Helen’s (glorious, lovable, fabulous) neuroses for 14 weeks in a row would test any among us. Fun Fact : other than Natalie, Aljaz was the only pro who ever led this year’s Pro Poll at any point. Maybe next year we’ll have a new champion?

1 (1). Natalie Lowe – 8.54 (8.55)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Ricky Whittle – Runner-Up

Most 10s
Fewest 4s
Fewest 3s
Highest Female Pro
Highest Current Pro

But probably not, as Natalie continues her stranglehold over the annual Pro Poll, with the biggest margin of victory since the very first Pro Poll. This is her third win, tying Ian’s record, and at this point, with an Olympian by her side, you wouldn’t bet against her repeating the success next year and taking the lead. Her run with Ainsley was classic Natalie – do some camp classics, do some decent elegant ballroom, then get out just as your partner starts to go a bit nutty. Will this year be any different? Long term members of the Natalluminati certainly hope so…


41 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing Pro Poll 2016

  1. Huriye

    Thanks for your advice Monkseal, but it flew by in one go! I filled it out in an angry/miffed mood and therefore this year my top mark was 8 and bottom mark 1. I had one don’t know, who I simply couldn’t remember. Nothing personal. Enjoy your hols.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Marks are generally a little on the low side overall so far, maybe there’s something in the water.

  2. ChaChaChavvy

    Finally, my desire to ride Tristan like Wild Bill Hickok in a field of Appaloosas can be expressed in a points-based system.

  3. Madmags

    I had lots of Don’t Knows. The dancers who were only in it for one series years ago are all a bit of a blur. I had no Perfect 10s either. But special mention goes to Anton, Brenda and Jared. I gave them one (cue ancient joke). Where’s the rolling eyes smiley when you need it!

    1. monkseal Post author

      Now now, in the name of feminism I encourage any readers to consider giving one of the female pros one as well, as unlikely as it would seem around these parts.

    1. monkseal Post author

      She’s accruing votes in more or less the same numbers as everyone else, so it may well just be you.

  4. jgcameron1992Jonny

    Had to give Anton a few more this year since his glorious drunken dancing shenanigans with Katie. Can I just say the new Neil Jones look DELICIOUS. Already looking forward to the seventh instalment so I can mark him accordingly

  5. Ross

    Gave at least one of each score (I think); tried not to score based on how much I want the pros in my bed/on the sofa/in a hedgerow after a night at a seedy bar, but I don’t think I was *entirely* successful.

  6. lou

    maybe it was just my browser, but the only two i had to scroll UP to mark were …somewhat surprising…. good fun to be had reminiscing about “fat Darren” when Lilya let him loose on the cake trolley…

  7. Fizz

    Only two I didn’t remember, and as a nostalgic fan of the wonder that is Hayley Holt! Seeing her still makes me smile somewhat. Though it’s funny looking at some pros and thinking how my preferences have changed over the years. Though I’ll never abandon the Holt!

  8. ChaChaChavvy

    Jesus Christ, I’m moving to New Zealand so I can become a cardiothoracic surgeon, husky sledder, darts commentator and mango chutney manufacturer in the one year. Once you’ve passed that points’ system the sky is clearly the limit.

  9. Scott

    Count Fortuna did Peter Pan in St Helens a couple of years ago and the pictures on the side of local buses were terrifying. If that tapped at my bedroom window I’d nail it shut.

    1. monkseal Post author

      It’s fun to play “who would they have got?” for pros who left with the series afterwards. Brian & Tiny Tina and Katya & Nicky would have been…pairings for the ages ‘m sure.

  10. Chris

    *Alesha voice* I can’t believe that Hayley Holt is gone and I had to endure THAT! (Jordan/Jordan fanfiction honestly, this blog has truly peaked/troughed/I-don’t-even-know-my-brain’s-not-working-anymore-thanks)

  11. Mr. AsNTM

    Did everybody has a fallout this year or what? Only three pros so far outside the bottom ten whose averages actually increased.

    LOL @ Kevin being at the lower half of the poll. Expecting to see a really high jump for Aliona this year, what’s the record for the highest jump in terms of places in this poll? I remember Iveta jumped from 19 to 5.

    Fingers crossed for Natalie or Ian to take the top spot.

    1. monkseal Post author

      The average score is the lowest it’s ever been this year, but it’s nothing ridiculous :

      2014 – 5.85
      2011 – 5.79
      2015 – 5.72
      2012 – 5.67
      2013 – 5.64
      2016 – 5.63

      Iveta (after Mark) is indeed the biggest jump both in terms of places and in terms of scores ever. The other biggest leaps (before this year obviously, no spoilers as we head into the top 20) in terms of places were Aljaz (after Alison) and Natalie (after Michael) but that was only 7 places, so half of what Iveta managed. It seems doing fun routines with a middle-range contestant absolutely is one of the best routes to increased popularity, at least here.

      1. Mr. AsNTM

        Surprised to see Artem actually rising, I thought he’d drop ten places or something lol. Glad Aljaz is entering the top six (and for Erin to keep her 666 Satan’s record). Really interested to see how the last two year’s top five is holding on, and whether Aljaz going to break the bubble or not.

  12. ChaChaChavvy

    I’ve seen talk of Aljaz ‘entering the top six’ and ‘sliding into the top 3’ and it’s making me Annie Wilkes jealous. He’s mine, I tell you! Mine!

    1. monkseal Post author

      Somewhere on his twitterfeed he refers to a boyfriend. I think. Or a friend of his does. I was never a huge Curtain Cutler stan, so I didn’t go to a forensic level.

  13. DJ Mikey

    I’m already loving Oksana, Katya and Gorka. I would like to love Neil but they’ve made him a background decoration – Chloe is M’eh and I’m already loathing AJ almost as much as I loathe KFG..

  14. Huriye

    When you said “this is Nicole’s new husband” I thought she’d divorced the Cricketer, but no, wiki says still married since 2010.

    BTW Valentina Bennet had her first Ballet lesson recently, so already training for Strictly Pro 2038. ❤


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