The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 2016

Yes, yet again, Paul Hollywood has left a nation of housewives with an early finish and a taste of sour disappointment in their mouths yet again, as yet another series of Celebrity Bake Off goes off the air without a proper winner. Happily here I am to ride in to the rescue, letting you, the Monkseal commntariat decide which of the four heat champions is the real Bake Off Celebrity Supreme. There was the mimsy housewife who affected not to know what she was doing but won, the mimsy housewife who affected to not really know what she was doing but won, and the mimsy housewife who affected to not know what she was doing but won in the end anyway. Oh and the Celebrity Masterchef Champion Mega-Ringer who came in and unsurprisingly won after being a disappointing Mega-Ringer ย champion on that in the first place.

It’s a surprise that the ratings for this run were a disappointment isn’t it?

Anyway, pick from the Prime Minister’s Wife, a Girl Aloud, a Spice Girl, and the husband of last year’s celebrity champion here :


9 thoughts on “The Great Sport Relief Bake Off 2016

  1. JKK

    I have two daughters 8 and 6 years old and we are all belated but fervent fans of bake off. We discovered the 2012 sport relief bake off being shown back to back on a repeats channel over Xmas and were delighted with the result of the 3 heats and grand final. We have been very disappointed that this year’s 4 ep series was all heats and no final. What were BBC thinking? Possibly that Sam Cam (and probably Ade E) could not be seen to lose at any point.

    1. monkseal Post author

      In fairness, that was the only series of Celebrity Bake Off that had an overall winner – the other four have had to do without, for whatever reason.

  2. BeyonceLikesCake

    Kimberley Walsh for the win…Kilimanjaro was awesome.
    Samcam’s showstopper was okay, Geri’s was poor (Louise should have taken it) and Ade’s was Cliff Richard in cake form….;-)

  3. Huriye

    Loyal Member of the Monkseal Commentariat here, reporting for duty, and loving my new title! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Have no clue who she was, but Morgana so should’ve won over smug Ade. I actually wanted to eat her pie, she won the Tech Challenge, and her Showstopper looked fab. Infact, I enjoyed all the other contestants that episode – Will Young (who couldn’t bake but was witty) and Alison Steadman (love that she rubbed her pastry by hand eschewing the mixer) – more than smug Ade, who was never the funny one. Evah!

    Also I voted for JJ (as we Spurs Fans know him) Jermain Jenas as winner of his episode.

    But for the Poll I voted for Kimberley, as she’s the only one I can stand in that line up, and ofcourse, she was on Strictly!

  4. BeyonceWantsLickCubistCliff

    Waves to Huriye. Steals title in a hissy fit whilst running away scoffing cake. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hope you are well. You are correct about Will Young in that, lovely and absolutely charming. Also bless him for choosing a personal thing rather than doing a microphone/Brit award/Sally Bowles.
    Never seen House of Fools but Morgana was adept at face to camera expressions. She made me smile. Not sure Ade was being smug on purpose, think he was going for mock humble, but came over as false and, well, smug. Not keen on his missus either.
    They both speak very highly of me ๐Ÿ™‚ Hard task though. I have achieved sod all…not sure anyone wants cake showing natural birth (with a marzipan baby covered in cream cheese/jam attached via a red liquorice shoelace to….well, it would be scary but would it be as scary as Cliff?!)
    Sweet dreams. xx

    1. Huriye

      *Waves back to Beyonce* ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’m still fumin’ at the GBP, who can never be trusted, after Friday night’s decision to choose the wrong song for our Eurovision entry! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
      I know Monkseal is tres happy, but having invested in the evening and taken part in the voting, I was uber disappointed. What about the German entry?

  5. BeyonceLovesEurovision

    Who did you prefer Huriye? I liked Darline.
    As for Germany, we could have had Gregorian monks singing but instead we have a Voice
    finalist singing, dressed a bit like Cyndi Lauper met Gwen Stefani met Helena Bonham Carter.
    We won’t win.
    It could have been worse: a Meatloaf type song came second, and an acoustic guitarist wanting world peace came third with a cutesy looking girl singing about won’t somebody think of the children in fourth. The monks came fifth.
    My favourite, because it reminded me of 80s pop and specifically Hugh grant boy band in Music&Lyrics (a guilty pleasure) came in last. What can I say? I do not have my finger on the pulse of popular German music ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Huriye

      LOL Beyonce! ๐Ÿ˜€ Just had a delightful interlude listening to your entries, and I must agree, “Lift Me Up” was my winner too! Very Simple Minds, and the singer looked and danced like Jim Kerr (connection with Strictly, Kerr was married to Patsy Kensit who partnered Robin Windsor). The actual winner was truly AWFUL! But you do like a female singer in Germany, with past winners the lovely Nicole and that bint with the Mockney accent. The lead Gregorian Monk looked like a boxer to me . Might not have gone down well in Turkey or Azerbaijan. Your audience was very well mannered, all seated, ours were jumping up and down. But I still remember the man in the front row who shook his head when our winner was announced, in disbelief. It’s great that you can give me the full rundown of results. Quite right too. The bloody BBC think we’re too stupid to know, so just literally announced the winner in brutal fashion. I wanted a full breakdown of percentages of votes with placements 6th to 1st. After all, we’re voting for the darn thing! Like you, I enjoyed Darline and Bianca, they were the only 2 good songs really, and I think UK could’ve done well with either song, especially Darline, who would’ve had wide appeal with a catchy song. But no, we chose something cliche ridden and predictable. It’s like I had hope, got enthused, voted, then it was taken away, and we’re back on the nul point train. We won’t win either.


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