Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Final Results Summary

Katie is, unsurprisingly given that as the lights came up for the second HALF I’d genuinely forgotten she was even still in, out in 4th, meaning that the closest Anton will ever get to a 10 paddle is when he takes over as Head Judge from Len in 5 years time. It’s sad, because I was looking forward to seeing their Viennese Waltz again, but both of them just seem pleased and slightly baffled to have even made the final.

From there…filler, filler lots of filler. The public telling us what their favourite moments were, Claudia being pushed to say that she liked Iwan because nobody else will do it, the judges all sat around a log fire in their best Christmas jumpers saying that all of the finalists are amazing now that old Drunky off of Radio Pensioner has buggered off, and any of them would be worthy winners but Craig and Len think maybe that Kellie would be more worthy than the others wink wink and of course best of all the RETURNING CELEBS DANCE! I say “dance”, it’s mostly just everyone dry-humping their personal favourite prop and hoping for the best. My favourite part is probably the part where Jamelia is front and centre being treated like a star whilst Peter Andre awkwardly shuffles his feet by the stairs. But then I would say that.

Those Contestants Favourites then? Jay selects the paso doble and whilst he definitely, as is his stated aim, shows improvement from the first time, with increased awareness shown to Aliona and slightly more strength in his movements…it’s still not his jive and I spend the whole thing thinking it’s not his jive. Almost as though this is the sort of dance that should be chosen for Judges Choice rather than week 1 tangos and quicksteps choreographed on the back of a fag packet isn’t it? This just leaves Kellie and Georgia to reprise their Charlestons, and despite Kevin grubbing for STAR WARS points, Kellie is pretty comprehensively overshadowed by Georgia’s effort, which gives her one of the nicest send-offs of anybody of the evening, even though in all honesty it was probably too late to leave her finishing anywhere other than 3rd.

The winner? Jay & Aliona, as most of us knew it would be before the judges threw so much sand from Grimsby Beach in our faces tonight to try to distract us. On one level it was worth it to make tonight a little more exciting (certainly both Jay and Aliona don’t look like they were expecting it), on the other, knowing that Kellie & Kevin’s tango outscored Denise & Ian’s, James & Camilla’s, Zoe & Ian’s, Louisa & Vincent’s, Alesha & Matthew’s, Austin & Erin’s, Rachel & Vincent’s, Kara & Artem’s, Jason & Kristina’s, Louis & Flavia’s, Pixie & Trent’s, Frankie & Kevin’s, Jay & Aliona’s, heck, even Katie & Anton’s (and that’s just scratching the surface) just for a bit of a cheap thrill is a heavy price to pay.

Still well done Jay & Aliona, the first pro to win twice. Even in this YEAR OF THE WOMAN SQUARED, Darcey got her man.


36 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Final Results Summary

  1. Carl

    Thanks for your recaps this year. They really made the last weeks worth watching…almost.

    I think I ended up saying all the rest in your other finale blog.

  2. DJ Mikey

    Did anybody else notice “Everybody grab your favourite prop”? Jamelia grabs Kirsty (yes she was awful Jamelia, but I’m sure she was better than the props – by which I mean she didn’t over stay her welcome.)

  3. ChaChaChavvy

    From a television production perspective I really don’t understand the Strictly final these days. If I were the executive producer of the BBC’s flagship entertainment show I’d want the final to be a viewing spectacular where the dancers give their best possible performances to the most iconic, show-stopping routines of the series. The judges’ choices and the banning of the celebs from choosing post-Blackpool routines combine to produce a show that feels like an endless Week 2 dance-off, full of performances you didn’t particularly enjoy the first time. I’d also order the judges to fake demob happiness instead of coming across like a gaggle of grinches.

    Anyway, I was glad anyone but Kellie won, as I felt all the others brought something enjoyable to the final and she just brought grim determination. I adored Katie’s approach to the competition and loved the mixture of high camp and screwball sophistication she and Anton created. I appreciated that Giovanni’s pedigree shone through and was relieved that a new pro could choreograph proper Latin and ballroom (instead of all fur coat and no knickers generic messes, Gleb). Georgia’s Charleston was the dance of the night. I thought that Jay was hit and miss but, when he hit it, he was the best dancer the show has ever seen and I enjoyed the natural vibe and chemistry between he and Aliona. Her choreography doesn’t always deliver but it’s the antidote to Clifton tweeness and Gleb Specials. Kevin and Kellie’s jazz hands, stage school style is everything I dislike in performance.

    Seeing Daniel again just made me think of what might have been. My dream final would have been Jay, Katie, Helen and Daniel, and Daniel would have won. I guess I’m not a dance purist.

    1. Chris

      And the fact that they can’t have backing dancers in the final means that pretty much none of them could reuse their Blackpool routines either – I agree, it’s such a dumb rule.

      Also, can we please go back down to three couples in the final? Because although all of the fourth-place finalists have been my underdog faves (yes, even Mark Wright, don’t look at me), none of them were remotely ready for a final, least of all Katie. I’m almost glad we didn’t see her Viennese again, because I feel like she was going to fall to bits at the drop of a hat (just like she literally did in her quickstep eyyyy)

      1. monkseal Post author

        With a three person final though, if they ran a double elimination Series 9 style, Natalie and Denise would have been the ones leaving in the semis, rather than Sophie/Tracey. Although at least Susanna/Kimbot would have actually know they were 2nd.

    2. monkseal Post author

      I guess they think Judges Choices makes for a great narrative because it shows “how far everyone’s come”. Except they’re always forgettable routines that nobody would care to remember, so it lands a little flat, because…who even remembers Kellie’s first tango to compare it to?

  4. Perfect Custard

    I had prepared myself for a Jay & Aliona win, so was not surprised. My choice would have been Georgia & Joe Varney but that whole results show is just waiting for the inevitable.

    I was glad to see that Giovanni got some credit for being a really good choreographer.
    Seeing G&G absolutely nail their Charleston was worth the price of admission.
    I do wish the returning stars had done something that allowed them to show off some actual dance moves. I thought Anita & Helen didn’t get to show off as much as I would have liked.
    But it’s been fun, and thanks for all your recaps.
    I feel like I’m going to go into Strictly withdrawl…

  5. Penny

    If I was the producer of a show dogged by allegations of fixing, I wouldn’t show a segment with the judges apparently talking about how great the Final Three are which was clearly filmed last week. Not a good tactical move.

    Pleased for Aliona because I think it’s funny that she’s the first double winner after everything. Pleased for Jay who is a really beautiful dancer and has done some great routines across the series (plus, the ovary thing). But gutted that they weren’t really the best on the night.

    1. catherinehirst

      I’m guessing they filmed a bit about Katie too, and then just edited a version for all possibilities of 3 finalists. You’ll notice when they were talking about them as a group, they said “These three finalists” and never “Georgia, Jay, and Kellie”.

      1. Penny

        Oh yes I’m sure that’s what they actually did, I just think it’s asking for trouble given the climate.

  6. Miss Cavie

    So Jay wins despite Aliona doing her level best to wreck the biggest certainty in Strictly history. Thankfully for her the ovary voters came through (judging by her face I think she thought they’d blown it after that snorefest of a showdance).

    Really hope they ditch judges choice after this year, and just go back to favourtite Latin and Ballroom routines. Two crap quicksteps that no-one wants to see again, a week one rock tango that bizarrely gets a 40 for no immediately obvious reason, and poor old Joe Varney having to re-choreograph his rumba to stop Len throwing his toys out of the pram. Not exactly must see TV.

    Thanks for the recaps Monkseal. Eagerly waiting to cast my vote in the Monkies!

  7. Rad

    I love Aliona but god knows what she was thinking with those dances.

    Missed Jay’s jive and Kellie’s.American Smooth – I liked Star Wars but it wasn’t up to Georgia standard and the AS had more of a finale feel.

    Also: Grimsby doesn’t have a beach despite BBC lies.

  8. tabithakitten

    I wanted that paso as judges’ choice. But as I think you mentioned at the time, when has the judges’ choice ever made any bloody sense?

    Jay’s paso, Georgia’s salsa, Kellie’s Charleston and Katie’s tango – wouldn’t that have been a better first round?

  9. Huriye

    It’s Cleethorpes Beach innit! πŸ˜›

    I’m still feeling hugely disappointed, as if let down by a very dear friend, after last night’s Final. 😦
    No longer do we get a Celebration of Dance, with the contestants giving of their best, as we used to have before this atrocious Judge’s Choice fiasco. They can dress it up in any language they want, about “showing improvement” etc. Maybe the couples were glad to see the back of those dances? I know I certainly was, and did not wish to be deafened by 2 LOUD electric guitar riff based Rock songs from the 60s for refined, stylish Ballroom dances?!!
    Bringing back the old format is essential, but with 12 million viewers, will Evil Moira listen?

    I really can’t hold with Jay being “the best dancer evah”. For me, he still cannot project outwards the way a performer should, and connect with the audience. He spends the whole routine locked in a visual embrace with Aliona. It’s a good job she’s happily married.
    But I seriously underestimated how right Monkseal was when he talked about ” foregone conclusion”, even the alarming 73% RT Poll wanting him to win, I pretended didn’t exist and they were all internet trolls. Even now, the Sunday morning Polls say Jay danced the best in the Final, so I just give up. I think I may finally be losing my dedication and passion for Strictly. 😦

    What sums up the new regime for me is Gilkison assuming that Jeremy’s most iconic moment was that fecking plastic horse! When we all know it was Halloween Thriller! But God forbid the Final celeb Dance routine should actually contain some fecking DANCE STEPS! Helen and Anita were wasted on their final appearance. 😦

    Don’t count on Gleb making a return. No sooner did he check in at Heathrow than he’s smooching his Russian DWTS partner, calling her his “Queen” and tweeting he wishes he could dance with her again. Anita must be gutted, as she’s barely taken her make up off!
    Don’t forget, Trent would’ve been back if Evil Moira had said yes to Gordana. Maybe Gleb will have other/similar demands? Tricky negotiations ahead methinks.

    One thing is for sure – the Judges need a refresh.

    1. Elsa

      I saw a promo picture that I couldn’t read because it was in Russian – but I think Gleb and Elena might appear on next Russian series of DWTS — as well as return to Strictly – Gleb tweeted today: “Taking off now, Moscow here I come and London see you next year!” and the Mirror says Elena will be taking Ola’s place. I assume the schedules don’t conflict or the Russians might move their series so it won’t conflict. The only other possibility I can think of is that the Russian DWTS may have a special episode featured Gleb/Elena but I think it’s the real series they’ll be on – with her judging like last time. This is going to be a bitter pill for Trent ;_(

      Gleb had five features in musical-guest numbers this season (while Pasha had 2 and Tristan had 1, and Tristan’s was with all the other male pros in a paltry few seconds with Kylie Minogue.) The rest: Aljaz 4, Kevin 3, Giovanni 3, Anton 1 (but Anton’s was a late-in-series pas de deux with Joanne despite him being in the competition so that’s better than Tristan’s), and Aljaz was up front in the final pro number… anyhow, I think the writing is definitely on the wall that Gleb will be back, along with the other guys on the tour (Giovanni, Kevin, Aljaz).

      1. ChaChaChavvy

        Gleb managed to make himself my least favourite pro of all time in just one series. He can’t dance or choreograph ballroom and Latin, Anita could have gone up in flames and he wouldn’t have turned to look at her if there was a camera pointed at him and, to me, he looks like Augustus Gloop bought a multi-gym and grew up. The producers invested so much in trying to generate Glebmania they are bound to ask him back though. I’m still bitter that they got rid of Iveta and Anya but kept Ola and Karen.

      2. Carl

        I hope not. Gleb and Kevin both epitomize why I stopped watching Dancing with the Stars – Gleb for the pretentious showboating and Kevin for the look-at-me Derek Hough style hamming and having his relatives or friends all over the show. Admittedly I don’t watch Strictly that much in recent years either but at least it still has some potential and some genuine quality. I don’t want to see it become like DWTS.

      3. Stix

        I seem to remember Tristan and Aliona (as well as Aljaz and Janette) dancing in the musical guest number with Jess Glynne – must have been at the launch show? So that’s twice for him as well as Pasha. Do you think the number of times the pros are featured in these numbers is that clear a clue as to whether they are invited back? I hope not, as I really want to see Tristan back next year

        Thank you so much for the recaps Monkseal – they have been hilarious and a great discovery after lurking on DS

  10. Amy

    The judges favouritism towards Kellie last night was embarrassing to watch. Glad it didn’t work. The fact that THAT TANGO got more than Jay’s jive is shameful.

  11. Marcela

    If I had to quote anyone it would be Alesha:
    “I can’t believe Anita is gone and I had to endure that”—>Kellie’s Tango, Jay’s pisstaking showdance, Katie’s flailing about in that horrid QS, while we could have had a Glebspecial showdance complete with helicopters, waterfalls and explosions.

  12. Minxy

    Ah meh
    I can’t be bothered about the final let down
    Really really looking forward to the full recap

    And to not have to put up with anymore Jay wuz underscored, Jay is the best ever in the whole world of dance and humanity. I like Jay as a person and a dancer and his partnership with Ali – but fucking hell The Nats were really pissing me off with with the outrage for him and were turning me off him and them -and I love the DOTs and lurking the NAT.

    Roll on the chrimbo speshul and next year

  13. Kiki

    I’m with everyone on here. Rubbish idea to have a “judges choice”, should be the contestants own best chance latin and ballroom, with a showdance as the last dance.
    And 4 finalists is too many. Three, reduced to two would be better, and as a last prayer, cut the “you’re my best friend forever interviews”. Its a job, definately for the pro’s if not for the celebs, you’re paid to perform.

    And thanks to Monkseal for all the work he must put into this. If only you could be a contestant.

    1. BeyonceCastle

      Paired with Pasha or Nat. That I would love to see. How tall are you Chris?
      C’mon, spill…what one song/style would you insist on dancing to?

  14. RhetoricAlley

    Jay’s showdance might have been underwhelming, but at least he and Georgia both showcased both proper ballroom and latin in the final, as it should be. One rock tango and what was effectively TWO gurny charlestons from Kellie and Kevin did not please me in the slightest.

  15. Faellie

    Even though it went with the runes, I’m sad that Jay won. As a dancer he uses his arms and legs beautifully and his torso and head not at all, as an object of physical admiration he is distressingly commonplace with only youth and health on his side, as will become all too evident in his middle age, and as an object of intellectual admiration he fails on any tally of wit, charm and powers of speech evidencing intellect.

    Georgia’s effort to Coldplay was less contemptowafty* than I thought it would be, but still not inspiring. And wardrobe, having successfully managed Georgia’s embonpoint through the whole of the series, failed at the final hurdle with that matronly green dress. The Chicago Charleston was a triumph. I could have done without the tears- a beautiful young actress with steady employment, a good income and national recognition on prime time telly who nevertheless dissolves into tears at the least excuse leaves me cold.

    *the t is silent

    Full marks for effort go to Kelly and Kevin, but I’m fairly sure I’ve not seen Craig’s 10 paddle come out for a lower aesthetic standard than that tango and that lindyhop.

    I thought Anton was well up to the standard of the other professionals and his showdance would have lived up to billing without Katie’s errors. While I agree she was the weakest of the finals, I always found her a pleasure to watch.

    Thank you Monkseal for your blog on Strictly. I am a very recent visitor (from Digital Spy, where your stats are one of the highlights along with the spoiler thread and the Strictly Ikea Catalogue) and will be hanging around here from now on.

    1. Elsa

      Aww he’s was actually my 3rd favourite in the final, but I disagree about Jay. I remember reading a few of his tweets which were quite clever, and I think his humility and sweetness will serve him well. I’d rather have a beer down the pub with him than Peter Andre – or most any of them, actually (said without ulterior hormonal motives)

      1. Faellie

        I;m not a tweeter, so all I’ve seen of him is on the show. Where I thought he came across as a tongue-tied novice rather than as a man who has been a professional performer for years and was being paid handsomely to entertain me. Compared to Georgia, for instance, who I thought at least had liveliness to go along with the sweetness and vacuousness. Speaking as a curmudgeonly old cynic, of course.

  16. Elsa

    Oh I know what you mean Faellie. He’s the woobiest ever – more than Matt di Angelo who was only 20 during his series. You know, the more I watch the affectionate behavior of Aliona towards Jay, and see the paparazzi photos, the less I like her. And moving into his dressing room?!? She has no shame. I feel really sorry for her husband Vincent. I was a big Aliona fan – then I read that in her early season(s), some of the pros didn’t want to dance with her because she had her hands all over them. Nymphomaniac? Cynical tabloid-press seeker, a la Kristina? Whatever it is, yuck! Then reading that she’s always late for rehearsals and rude to other dancers – not from a tab but from a couple of people on DS who sound like they’re insiders… Well, there goes my Aliona crush. Didn’t like her new hair colour anyway… Wonder if she’ll share a hotel room with Jay on the tour – just for convenience of course, like the dressing room.

    1. Carl

      The woobying was far worse with Matt, whom I did like a great deal. He was woobied so much that he literally sat down after forgetting half a routine, and still got through. I’m also a bit surprised that people are surprised someone in a band is not the life of the party – many people in bands, especially those not “fronting” the band, are very shy and awkward.

      Jay was babied and infantilized by many fans and by Tess and Aliona and Claudia, but I also think this series was so flat that the worst of everyone involved kept getting magnified. So Jay, who kept his cool, trained and danced, and kept a good sense of humor in spite of sometimes being treated like absolute garbage by the judges, or basically being told that his win was meaningless and worthless, or hearing months of tabloid claims that he was breaking up a marriage or shunning himself from all the other poor noble dancers and celebs, somehow became a complete baby, with Aliona as some type of wicked grasping soulless woman.

      I’d much rather see this than more of the wide-eyed screaming and gurning that is supposed to be “authentic” or “real” for many fans these days.

      I also don’t care if Aliona is late for rehearsals or isn’t happy shiny friendly with other dancers or moves into Jay’s dressing room or whatever – I like watching her dance and when she’s on as a choreographer, she’s one of the few good choreographers the show has left. Someone like Robin Windsor or Janette may be sweetness personified, for all I know, but you would almost have to pay me to watch either of them because their dancing and choreography are so poor.


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