Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Final Performance Summary

Well that was a bit of a rum do.

After an opening pro-celeb group number that mostly involves everyone running around backstage to “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” (again, some more, because we cannot get through one series without one person at least doing a dance to that song) we’re right into *shudder* Judges Redemption Arc Choices. Jay has quickstep (because they made a mess of it), Georgia has rumba (because Len had a strop about the choreography) Katie has quickstep (because she made a mess of it) and Kellie has tango (because *shrug*). They’re all about the same degree of slightly better than they were last time, but apparently for Kellie alone that’s worth a perfect score because…well, it’s that sort of evening.

But let’s face it, we’re here for the Showdances. Always the only interesting things to happen in the first half of the finale these days, mostly for the trainwreck factor. Katie’s is the Overwhelming Trainwreck, as Anton throws everything and the kitchen sink at a tango/paso mash-up to O Fortuna, complete with flamethrowers, the band screaming like they’ve just spotted aliens flying over the studio, and Katie vamping it up to 11. It’s…not very good, but it is high drama, turned up to 11. Jay’s is the Underwhelming Trainwreck, as after the undeniably arresting sight of him starting the dance actually upside-down and dangling from the ceiling like Spiderman, it then just devolves into a lot of in-the-club moves combined with bits of rumba and Charleston and tiny specks of jive flecked throughout. It’s kind of dull, making Aliona now 3 for 3 with disappointing showdances. Georgia’s is the Pretentious Trainwreck, with her dancing to Fix You by Coldplay complete with a storyline in which Giovanni LITERALLY CURES HER OF BLINDNESS, WITH HIS LOVE OF DAHNCE(/penis). It’s less contempowafty in content than you might expect from the song but exactly as contepowafty in spirit. Which just leaves Kevin alone to, for the third year in the row, actually aim his Showdance directly at the target audience, with a Lindy Hop to Ding Dong Diddy Daddies or something like that. It’s not worked before, and to be honest Kellie’s dancing of it is leaden as anything, but compared to the other messes tonight it stands out as at least delivering what the tin says, even if the tin says something as underwhelming as “Strictly Showdance”.

The upshot of this? As we go into the second half the final looks like it’s turned into a two horse race between Kellie and Jay where before it looked to be the biggest one pony canter in Strictly history. I bet Aliona’s maybe regretting that whole “our jive is too perfect to be sullied be a Strictly Final” line now…


35 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Final Performance Summary

    1. BeyonceCastle

      No idea…personally think judges should have chosen her samba (there was one teeny error last time) and Jay should have done his cha cha, in a better outfit than week one obviously 😉

  1. Jake

    Of all the routines to get a 40 this season, I can’t believe it was Kellie’s Tango. When one considers many of the other routines (and by routine, I mean choreography, music, and costumes) this season, like Jay’s Jive and Rumba, Katie’s Viennese Waltz and American Smooth, Georgia’s Charleston and Samba, and even Kellie’s own American Smooth and Quickstep, for this routine to be marked as the highest of Series 13 is atrocious. Moreover, when one considers that the tangos of Zoe Ball, Alesha Dixon, Rachel Stevens, Austin Healey, and Kara Tointon were marked lower than this, despite being far better routines, I am appalled at the success of that tango and the precedent it sets for futures scores.

    1. DJ Mikey

      Even in this series we had amazing Tangos from Jay and Aliona, Peter and Janette, Katie and Anton and Anita and Gleb – to see Kellie’s Tango get a perfect when it was so overshadowed by Tangos in this series is totally ridiculous.

      1. stevenperkins

        You really think Craig wanted to be the sole person responsible for the Sainted Holy Jive not getting a perfect score? I don’t think he loves his mean judge reputation so much that he’d need to hire a round-the-clock bodyguard.

      2. Carl

        Given that he spent the night basically trashing Jay’s dances and making sure that his comments got more attention than anything else (as on their own the dances were mostly forgettable pap, maybe aside from the paso – it was Craig going on and on that probably got more attention drawn to them), I think he would have, yes. I don’t really think there was ever this great fear on the show’s part about being critical of Jay. I got that more with Peter than anyone else. I think Craig wanted it known that Kellie and Georgia were superior dancers to Jay even if he won, and a 40 jive would not have done that.

  2. KM


    Kellie has easily been the best out of the 4 so far, but I’m just not inspired to vote for her (also I really did not need to see that that tango at any point of my life again ever).

    Simon’s Argentine Tango livened up Caroline’s steamrollering of last year’s finale, so I suppose we can hold out hope for the second half. But as it stands, the most pertinent question is exactly how much Jay and Aliona can do to prove it was never really going to matter what happened on the dancefloor tonight.

  3. BeyonceCastle

    So…no tens for Anton’s VW. He didn’t try to hide his disappointment.

    Am finding the whole thing shambolic.
    Judges now sucking up to Jay’s average paso to look less stupid when Kellie loses. Oh Jesus, they are now dolling out tens.
    Need more chocolate.
    Oh and Derek did the blindfold thing with Bindi. Wasn’t impressed then, not impressed now.
    Bah humbug.

  4. Lougarry

    For once I disagree. I loved Georgia’s showdance. Haven’t been so emotional watching Strictly since Alesha’s waltz.

    1. BeyonceCastle

      Derek did the blindfold beginning a few weeks ago.
      Georgia’s freestyle would have been better without it, I did like the rest of it, particularly the spin lift, so it didn’t require a plagiarised ‘surprise’ element.
      Plus, as the title is Fix You, I was hoping they would not go for a headscarf-cancer type motif.
      Seeing as they had the balls to repeat their ‘perfect moment’, I thought she deserved to win but I preferred Jay’s show dance as I like medleys so a ‘best of’ compilation is my cup of tea.
      BUT they still should have done a freestyle to Shake It by Metro Station and done their jive kicks n flicks in the chorus.

      1. catherinehirst

        I would have liked a jive-ier showdance as well. The bits where he did the Charleston were the best bits of that showdance. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why Aliona choreographed so much ballroom into it when she had a male celeb who could actually do some good Latin. And the song needed to be oomph-ier too.

        But they made it clear they were doing exactly what they wanted to do in the final, so good on them. Jay’s paso was my 2nd favourite of his dances after the jive so I wasn’t sad to see it again. All in all, I enjoyed them as winners and I voted for them, so I’m happy with the result.

  5. David

    My god, there was a Gleb and Anita shaped hole in the programme tonight. Did none of the pros get the memo about what a showdance is supposed to be? Who responds to: ‘you can do WHATEVER you want, just put on a show’ with ‘let’s half-heartedly mishmash together bits of old and underwhelming dances/do a bit of limp ballroomwaft.’
    Can’t quite believe that we missed what probably would have been the most epic showdance in Strictly history so that Katie could make 2 less mistakes than the 50 she normally makes and be first booted out. Urgh.

    1. DJ Mikey

      Be fair – Gleb really screwed the pooch with Anita’s Salsa (with virtually no Salsa content) the judges had to make a call based on what they saw – that nobody was going to be happy with – but it was still a better call than booting Jamelia over Le Andre.

  6. Huriye

    According to Mathew Bourne on Twitter, Joe Varney purloined his blindfold idea from New Adventures’ Sleeping Beauty, and as that predates DWTS last season, I wouldn’t be surprised if Derek stole it too!

    I voted 3 times for Georgia, as the only Dance in the Final that made me swoon, and deserved a 40, was her Charleston. The rest was average, quite possibly one of the dullest Finals ever. 😦
    The crap Judge’s Choice has got to be scrapped now! Just let each couple choose Best Ballroom, Best Latin & Showdance, and then we might get an exciting Final again.

    What Kellie dancing a Charleston, a Lindy Hop, and a Mod/Rock Tango tells the viewer about her variety of skills, I know not. Not one ounce of subtelty or finesse demonstrated. Lez Brotherston, a Theatre Designer, totally criticised her 40 for the Lindy, saying the Lifts were laboured on Twitter.

    Jay must be the most underwhelming winner since…..last year. Aliona should be ashamed of that Showdance, and her arrogant attitude frankly. I liked her better when she endured Duffers.
    If Clifton doesn’t get a Pensioner next year, Eville Moira will need to seriously rethink. She needs to do that anyway to the Final format. It’s awful.

    I’m also bored with seeing the same Pros out front in the Pro routines every week. Just because Manrara schmoozes Gilkison and his b/f on Twitter. Give other Pros a chance!
    The Pro routine Choreography needs a serious overhaul next year, it’s drearily repetitive and am sick of Latin mishmash.

    Now onto the Presenters. Arise Dame Zoe, the red button saved it from total disaster. Claudia’s first outfit was so unflattering, I thought she wore it as a favour to a friend. Also her complexion looked weird and like she’d been out sunbathing for 27 hours. If that’s AFTER makeup Gawd help her before. Whatever she’s had done to her face, it looks frightening. Tess’s white trousersuit in part 2 was the only decent presenter outfit.

    The Band and Singers did a great job, and were the stars of the show. Such a pity that the first 3 songs of the night were dreadfully inappropriate or just dreadful (in the case of TeamGG).

    You may be the number one show on Saturday night Strictly, but don’t get complacement. This Final was not good, and changes need to be made for next year. Starting with the Judges.

    1. BeyonceCastle

      Ah cheers for that Huriye, I just took a look:

      and stand corrected. Prefer Car man though, that might have been to do with hot men in the showers though 😉

  7. Magmags

    There are ten dances in Dancesport comps, not including Charleston and Argentine Tango, yes? So, judges, why have 2 quicksteps out of 4 dances for your pick? Boring.

    As for the showdances, Aliona just got Jay to do bits of previous because why bother making an effort? Just do the ro(show)mance thing because, let’s face it, that’s what we all love. His woobie ickle face gazing adoringly at her, ah, bless! Which one of them is just acting it out? Both? Neither?

    1. Carl

      I don’t think doing bits of previous dances means not making an effort. Jill and Darren did that and it was 500 times better than “effort” like Kellie stomping her feet while Kevin gurns like he’s being boiled alive. I think it’s just the usual low-energy performance from Jay and Aliona’s usual ponderous frou-frou tendencies that she dragged back out for the finale as she likely knew she could do what she wanted anyway.

      1. Huriye

        Did Jill and Darren do that? I remember I loved their Showdance to Andy Williams, but thought it was new choreo?

      2. Carl

        Sorry – I think it was new choreo but it was showing all the different styles Jill had learned over the series. I guess it was new compared to what Aliona and Jay did. I’d seen some fans tonight who were angry over the idea of a showdance being used for that purpose (showing different styles from each week), instead of being another desperate dancing-as-fast-as-I-can mess. I tend to prefer the former to the latter…I just don’t think Aliona and Jay were all that great at it.

  8. Carl

    A flat ending for a forgettable series.

    I didn’t appreciate her that much while she was around but looking back I see now that when Helen left she took most of the remaining vitality with her. And I’m back to where I was a few years ago when I lost interest in watching – without some format changes and several new judges, it’s never going to be a good show again. And please no more Glebs to act as smokescreens for creaking flaws.

    I knew Jay’s dances were not really going to be good (although I did at least enjoy his paso), so the only interest for me tonight was in seeing whether Georgia (a lovely person and a good dancer, don’t get me wrong) would finally do a dance I’d remember 5 minute after it’s over (apparently not) or whether Kellie and Kevin really, really really really really really wanting to win and Len, the Cliftons, ITT, etc. really really really wanting them to win would be enough (apparently not).

    All in all the best part for me is that Jay won in spite of not doing his jive, which likely not only really really rubs salt in the wounds of those who were bizarrely personal in their hatred of him, but also adds even more hilarity to all the histrionics and claims that they rigged it for him to get to the finals so that he would do the jive again and that he wouldn’t have to do anything to win because he would just do the jive again ended up being a good laugh. So now we’re just going to hear claims that he won because he was in a boy band that hadn’t gotten attention in years for anything beyond a pissing contest with One Direction, or because he is “fit” or people want to “mother him” and therefore anyone who votes for him is depraved and pathetic.

    I guess it says a lot about me and about this cast in general that I’m more interested in enjoying sour grapes than in anything that happened in the finale. It’s just that type of group and that type of boring year.

    I think Jay and Georgia could both be great dancers with passing time, and I think they’re both nice people and hard workers.

    I think Kellie is a hard worker, she really did try, and she had a few lovely dances. Best of luck to her as she goes back to standing around the Eastenders set to watch Danny “I saved Eastenders” Dyer blather “wot’s wong L?” and Babe Slitheen ham it up.

    1. BeyonceCastle

      I liked Jay and his showdance is growing on me (watched it four times now) but him not doing the jive did rankle. It did feel like a cop-out and I thought they both had more balls than that tbh.
      Same as if Sophie had not chosen her Charleston (she didn’t get to dance it I know but you know what I mean) or if Jake had got through and not picked his salsa.
      Had they incorporated some jive into their freestyle, right towards the end, the audience would have gone wild but I guess with that song and tempo, just not possible. You could feel the tension in the crowd though hence the cheer at the Charleston bits, but whichever judge (Bruno?) who said it left you hanging as opposed to orgasm had it right.

  9. Perfect Custard

    I was really underwhelmed by Jay & Aliona’s showdance, I totally expected them to go with something more Latin. I liked Georgia’s showdance more than most people on this blog, I was impressed by her fearlessness. Kellie’s style always seems clunky to me and I can’t really get with the judges on her. Poor Katie really had over-achieved to get to the final, and she just didn’t have the same level of ability. But she showed the right sort of grace to give it her best effort. ( I bet she will be in physio for awhile with her back)
    Btw. I loved Katie’s kids but what was her handsome husband wearing ???

    I agree with the observation that Janette M. seems to get more than her fare share of pro dance time on the main show & on ITT. Please give us a variety. More Natalie.
    On the upside this was a very talented Celebrity cast, the top 7 were all interesting to watch.
    I will miss the show, and all of the witty remarks I read on this blog, and in the comments.

    1. Minxy

      I feel ya on the Janette thing, for me tho it is Ok we know she can be chucked in the air and split her legs really wide. We see it week after week after week. It was fresh the first couple of times but now … So over it . She can do so much more (thanks Monkie for those links to her SYTYCD).

      Gillkison forgets that he is playing to the same audience each week unlike at the stage shows where he can respect repeat repeat with slight tweaks.
      How about mixing it up with more stuff like rolling in the deep and some straight ballroom

  10. Marcela

    I honestly thought they were taking the piss with that showdance. It certainly looked like he was throwing some unconnected moves in da club with a lounge tune in the background. I felt it was so poor to the point it was disrespectful, like they didn’t make any effort at all. Aliona knew they could come out and do whatever crap and still win, and that is what annoys me most. Given her previous efforts I wasn’t expecting much but that really managed to irritate me deeply.
    Sorry for the bitterness but I think the similarity with the Harry and Chelsee year is to big a thing for me to ignore (still bloody hurts).At least Harry was a likeable, nice bloke who could actually construct a whole sentence, while Jay….


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