Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 12 Results Summary

We open with one of the more bizarre pro dances we’ve ever had (and given this series that’s saying something) as we go TO DA CLUB, featuring the show’s second use of Pitbull in a week (such a treat). The camera remains fixed but the pros, via judicious use of props and walls on wheels, keep whirling around, through the bar, the VIP area and…the toilets. With Joanne though, don’t get your hopes up. Our guest performer for the week is Kylie Minogue, delivering to us all a choice cut from her Christmas album. It’s a Connie Frances original. At least it’s not Santa Baby I guuess.

Len’s Glans goes out sputtering, taking a crowbar to Jay’s Viennese Waltz footwork, trying to make us think he was considering giving Kellie’s rumba a 10 (lol no he wasnt) and explaining to us all why Katie’s waltz was both too ambitious and also a DIRECT SLAP IN THE FACE TO PUCCINI’S GHOST (*spit*). Thanks Bruno. Also a “comedy” montage of all the judges most nothingy moments of the series, hooray.

But let’s get to our Bottom 2. Because God(/Evil Moira Ross In A Rainbow Wig) apparently looked over at ITVs big winter reality shows and thought “well our ending isn’t going to be nearly predictable enough” neither Katie nor Anita escape their moorings at the bottom of the leaderboard, and face off in the dance-off. Entirely predictably again, because Darcey loved their waltz even when it was performed atrociously on the main show and because Anita has decided to redo a salsa so devoid of salsa that it set Len’s allergies off in PARTY LATIN, which is hard to do, Katie is safe, and Anton reaches his first final (and hence first showdance) evah. And just like with Helen last week, I’m not thrilled Anita is going out, but with her Glebtacular showdance she did at least go in a manner fitting her journey on the show.

So…let’s see how high the %s on this thing go…


34 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 12 Results Summary

  1. ChaChaChavvy

    Kylie has basically morphed into Bloody Lulu, hasn’t she? I bet Brendan’s in a flotation tank somewhere, listening to Theme from A Summer Place on a loop, as we speak.

  2. Martin

    Looks a bit of a foregone conclusion when the poll is 95% of voters thinking that Jay will win, irrespective of who they would like to win! Ironically the other 5% want Jay to win too…

    1. DJ Mikey

      I’m really looking forward to it, but that’s entirely because I want Aliona to give Strictly the biggest middle finger in history – by being the first pro to win despite slagging of the show, firing and re-hiring and the duffiest most necrotic duffers in the history of being a duffer.

      1. Left Feet

        Do you think she will leave after this series like Camilla or Flavia?
        One thing about Aliona is that she has never had a midfield celeb its either been a Ringer or a complete duffer.

  3. Connor O'Donoghue

    I genuinely can’t understand the antagonism this series seems to have aroused. I know it’s annoying how predictable the winner is and the Jamelia dance off was ridiculous (and resulted in the best moment in ITT history) but the winner was just as obvious in the Louis year, and the Harry year and the Jill year and when Abbey won we all “knew” Susannah was going to win and we were wrong, but it felt just as predictable. I think this year has had the best cast of celebrities in terms of personality of any year and had a top 7 where everyone was capable of producing a great dance. It was also a series that had probably my favourite group of pros ever. I admit that I lived abroad during series 4 and 5 and never saw them, but this series is, in my opinion, one of the best ever, along with series 2 and series 8, my other two favourites. The semi wasn’t great, but semis are often boring. The scoring was all over the place, but the scoring is always all over the place. And I loved the first half of Jay’s charleston, the start of Katie’s waltz, the spin at the end of Anita’s foxtrot, all of Kellie’s American Smooth and all of Anita’s Glebmazing athletisalsa. And Kellie’s rumba and Georgia’s VW were unobjectionable. Reading everyone else’s thoughts it seems as if this is the worst series ever and I feel like I’m an alien every time I go on Twitter on Saturdays and Sundays. TLDR – this is a great series, everyone else is wrong.

    1. missfrankiecat

      Have to say, I agree with you. I’ve liked this cast more than most years. Strictly will never be the fun it was for me in the ‘golden years’ of Series 4 – 6 (until Austin was robbed!), but I’ve enjoyed a lot of dances this year, the balance of the casting has seemed better, despite the early culling of the male celebs, and Tess and Claudia have hit their stride presenting.

    2. StormyTV


      And you know what? Unlike the million other predictable winners, at least this one doesn’t make me want to punch through my screen to try to reach their face.

    3. monkseal Post author

      I loved a goot 75-80% of this series. Just the last few weeks didn’t really do it for me – although Helen, Anita and Katie did all get epic send-off routines I guess.

  4. wh-wcs

    It’s less open & shut on Jay winning if they don’t do their jive again. I’m not sure how hard and fast they’ll stick to telling Claudia in the interview -the one that was so abruptly edited- that they don’t want to jinx it by doing it again, but if they don’t, and the final picks up a lot of casual viewers/first time voters who then see Georgia do that Charleston again, I’m less sanguine about Jay walking it to the Glitter Ball. I’m sensing a potential puppet-gate re-run…

    1. Chris

      If they don’t do it for their Couples’ Choice, I assume the judges will just make it their Judges’ Choice. Although weirder choices have been made in the final.

  5. PerfectCustard

    You aren’t the only one @Connor – I have loved watching this series. It has the expected “dirty ringuh’s”, “the shock boot”, bad music for Paso’s, inconsistent marking from the judges, yes all those cliches…
    BUT – it has been fun to watch mainly because the top 7 celebs really could dance. Also Giovanni, and Gleb have injected some life into the season.
    I have enjoyed watching Anita and Katie improve and occasionally exceed all expectations.
    Pity that Anita went with the cheer leading Salsa in the DO, but she was fearless and game to the end. Seeing Katie & Anton (finally) make the final will be some sort of sentimental journey for some, but I would have liked Anita & Gleb myself.
    Georgia will give Jay a run for it – Giovanni in the final should be interesting to see.

  6. Minxy

    I couldn’t vote
    I don’t have a favourite I want to win And equally I don’t have anyone I don’t want to win. I would probably be in the Helen camp if she had still been there
    So long as there are mainly decent dances I shall be happy. I can’t even remember last year’s final or who was in it.

    (still would have liked to see Jeremy there – so long as he kept on improving, put his foot down and said no to anymore Komedy Kontestant to a non campy song and got his joy back. And also for the furore it would have caused)

    I don’t think it is as cut and dried as people think
    I think it will depend on the dances on the night. Strictly voters can be fickle. Many die hard Jaypets gave Kelly votes this week … And that would have been unthinkable even Friday night
    But if someone really wows me I shall speed dial them whoever it is.

    I appreciate Jay’s dancing but still there is something missing, joy and confidence mainly.. I just want him to stop overthinking and let rip. I also think he is wise not to do that jive again – especially with all the fuss. See Susanna’s Paso. Keep the memory and you tube and bring a fresh wow.

    And while I loved Anita’s fearlessness and performance, I think her actual dancing technique wise was going backwards much like Pondscum’s. And I would have been very dissatisfied if she had won. I am glad her fan base saw sense – just as I did when I refused to vote for Jeremy’s last dance.
    We saw their showdance(s) anyway

  7. Schweppes

    Surprised you didn’t pick up the daisy chain in the pro dance…I wouldn’t mind being the Tristan in a Pasha/Aljaz sandwich…

  8. Sue Howarth

    I am beginning my annual twitching over how bad the showdances will be.
    Fair do’s Kevin and Kellie’s AS was lovely, if they were to do something of a similar tempo it would be appreciated. They wont though that one is going to be one fast hot mess.
    Joe has consistently choreod good and safe dances for Georgia, so that one could be OKish, a lift fest is likely though.
    Anton and Katie have had 3 Fred and Ginge numbers, she has not been able to catch the Liza Manelli/SEB character that seems to be lurking under the surface. I love the idea of Emma and Mr Peel but I don’t think she will pull it of.
    Aliona has committed some of the worse crimes to dance in her showdance history, but Jay and his “cool” thing might temper her. Also she is not the firebrand she was, I am not very hopeful
    I would just like 1 good showdance

    1. Nicky91

      well i hope some good lifts for Georgia, she should be able to do any routine, as Giovanni is a good teacher and she is a good student.

      Kellie’s showdance could be hit or miss, for me that AS wasn’t good, it were just some Fred and Ginger copycat steps, no storytelling at all

  9. Poppy

    I predicted that Jay will win, but having heard he’s not doing his jive again, I’m not at all sure that he will. It’s Muppetgate all over again.

    PS I’ve loved your recaps all series, Monkseal, thank you. You make it worth watching, when I’ve been underwhelmed by a lot of it this year.

    1. Poppy

      I’m replying to myself to say perhaps Jay’s not doing the jive for the same reason I think he didn’t do many ganchos in the AT…he’s injured his knee. Absolutely no basis for this except he sometimes wears a knee bandage in training. It would make more sense than some twaddle about not wanting to spoil the memory of the moment or whatever it was he said.

    2. DJ Mikey

      If Jay and Aliona don’t pick the Jive as their favourite, the Judges will pick it as theirs – there’s literally no way Jay isn’t doing that Jive again. It’s the final, so highest standard – no way around it.

      Jay & Aliona – Tango and Jive
      Georgia & Giovanni – Charleston and Foxtrot
      Katie & Anton – Rumba & Tango/Viennese Waltz
      Kellie & Kevin – No Idea, I can’t stop finding them objectionable long enough to make any sort of judgement.

      1. Christel

        I’d like to see Katie and Anton redo their rumba – it was my fave of the season by a fair way!
        Gutted we never got to see GG to an AT 😦

      2. Sue Howarth

        I did have one idea about not doing the Jive. What if they want to do something very similar for the Show dance, say a Blues Brothers number. The 3 dances they are proposing would all have a similar feel with the Judges choice being the Quickstep. They might want to do Tango or Rumba for a moody alternative
        I think its more wishful thinking on my part if I’m honest

      3. DJ Mikey

        Aliona – “Jay we have to do Jive again, we can’t win without and I didn’t put up with the last 3 years to back out now.”

        Jay – (woobie) “No Aliona, I don’t want to, I don’t – I don’t – I don’t” (continues strop ad infinitum)

        Aliona – “OK Jay, you win” (secret choreographs showdance that’s identical to “that Jive” with new costumes, Jay’s 5 year old brain fails to notice and they win in a landslide having performed the best not a train wreck showdance ever)

      4. DJ Mikey

        Thinking about it:

        Georgia & Giovanni – “that” Charleston and “that” Samba (is what I’m now hoping for)

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