We open with one of the more bizarre pro dances we’ve ever had (and given this series that’s saying something) as we go TO DA CLUB, featuring the show’s second use of Pitbull in a week (such a treat). The camera remains fixed but the pros, via judicious use of props and walls on wheels, keep whirling around, through the bar, the VIP area and…the toilets. With Joanne though, don’t get your hopes up. Our guest performer for the week is Kylie Minogue, delivering to us all a choice cut from her Christmas album. It’s a Connie Frances original. At least it’s not Santa Baby I guuess.
Len’s Glans goes out sputtering, taking a crowbar to Jay’s Viennese Waltz footwork, trying to make us think he was considering giving Kellie’s rumba a 10 (lol no he wasnt) and explaining to us all why Katie’s waltz was both too ambitious and also a DIRECT SLAP IN THE FACE TO PUCCINI’S GHOST (*spit*). Thanks Bruno. Also a “comedy” montage of all the judges most nothingy moments of the series, hooray.
But let’s get to our Bottom 2. Because God(/Evil Moira Ross In A Rainbow Wig) apparently looked over at ITVs big winter reality shows and thought “well our ending isn’t going to be nearly predictable enough” neither Katie nor Anita escape their moorings at the bottom of the leaderboard, and face off in the dance-off. Entirely predictably again, because Darcey loved their waltz even when it was performed atrociously on the main show and because Anita has decided to redo a salsa so devoid of salsa that it set Len’s allergies off in PARTY LATIN, which is hard to do, Katie is safe, and Anton reaches his first final (and hence first showdance) evah. And just like with Helen last week, I’m not thrilled Anita is going out, but with her Glebtacular showdance she did at least go in a manner fitting her journey on the show.
So…let’s see how high the %s on this thing go…