Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 9 Results Summary

Bullshit.

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100 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 9 Results Summary

    1. Shazzi

      I agree, At least Len said he would have saved jameila , I used to like Peter but he’s coming across too smarmy, and that week he licked the judges backsides for thanking them, he could have done that in the bar after the show. I hope he goes this week.

      Reply
  1. Pops

    Ha! I suspect it was more of a “she’s been in the dance off five times and we think he’s the better overall dancer” decision, rather than Evil Moira In A Rainbow Wig threatening them with the sack if they didn’t save Andre, but still, what a bloody fix.

    Reply
    1. Kiki

      Yeah, and there being only Jay left if Andre gone. I think they thought it wouldn’t matter to the public as Jamelia was a regular DO participant, but good on Len for his judging morals.

      Reply
  2. Nick

    Darcey looked like she was in a hostage video as she gave her vote, and had her face in her hands when she heard Len’s vote.

    Reply
  3. Martin Palmer

    Yep, Jamelia was better in the main show and the ‘Sunday’ show but did anyone really think that she was going to be put through over Peter? The judges are always going to ‘show their muscles’ whatever – the only time in a reality show where I have seen the normally superior contestant be kicked out over a weaker one in a ‘dance off’ is Sebastien Foucan on Dancing On Ice, where he totally cocked up a skills test – Peter would have had to ‘mooned’ the audience and slapped each of the judges in the face to have been kicked off (even then they might have given him credit for artistic impression…) 🙂

    Reply
    1. BeyonceCastle

      So, at the every least then, they should have made it slightly more believable by having Craig and Darcy save Jamelia (based on their previous scores) then Bruno and Len who had marked them both equally (with the dodgiest of Dodgy 8s from “traditional“ purist Len ffs) be the bad guys and take it to a draw with Len having the casting vote: preferably with the latter saying Agent Orange had more potential to progress in rest of series and Bruno saying he was saying Mr Entertainment or some such bollocks. I still would have been swearing at the telly but at least it would have been better than seeing Craig (who I had, until this series always credited with having some degree of integrity) sell out completely and Darcy lie her ass off.
      You stomped a really bad jive, Petey.

      Reply
  4. missfrankiecat

    Looks really, really bad. The judges, rightly, looked embarrassed. Whether or not Andre is a better dancer overall (and if that was the reason for saving him they should have had the guts to say so), his performance on Saturday was an underrehearsed improvisation which had virtually no recognisable jive steps beyond one drunken sailor, which he danced badly, and then even worse in the dance off. Jamelia danced a recognisable QS with reasonable flair. What is the point of the pros even trying to teach their celebs if you can get by doing unstructured jigging about to a pop song?

    Reply
    1. wcs-wh

      Yep- it took me a while last year, but I eventually accepted that -on the night- Simon danced better than Pixie in the DO, despite her being the better dancer previously. Don’t go moving the goalposts now, Craigdarceybruno!!!

      Reply
    2. monkseal Post author

      The HONOUR of performing at Blackpool Tower Ballroom of course. Tristan seemed on the edge of bursting over it all week.

      Reply
  5. Kate

    Some bloody consistency from the judges in the dance off would be nice, pick the best dancer in terms of ability/previous success/ perceived room to grow, or pick the best dance off performance, they can’t have it both ways depending on personal bias for or against the celebrity. GRRR

    Reply
    1. Gerry

      Where can I get one of those Ts? If the Beeb produced some quickly and flogged them to the punters they might be able to recoup most of the fortune they agreed to pay Pete the Greek!

      Reply
  6. Chris

    As if I didn’t have enough candidates for Most BS Elimination this series, now I’m mad that even Jamelia got eliminated. JAMELIA.
    At least my two remaining least favourite celebs (Peter and Kellie) are the only ones to have hit the dance-off so far, which bodes quite well for their departing in the near future.

    I’ve never seen a set of bottom 2 votes delivered with such blank faces and such gritted teeth. And I wish Len had properly thrown his toys out of the pram just like every other time the other three go against him in the dance-off, and screamed about Peter’s lack of anything jive-related like the good old days (I’m thinking when he slated Mark Benton and Patrick Robinson’s rumbas, he’s always been a weird rumba purist)

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      We were missing a proper “No I DID NOT agree”. Now that he’s stopped yelling at the public for voting wrong so much it was my one reliable Len tantrum of the Results Show.

      Reply
  7. Penny

    I’m looking forward to the voting form for Most BS Elimination in the Monkies. I’m hoping for differential sizing, or maybe special code that makes the buttons run away and hide if you attempt to press any answer other than the correct one.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I’m just wondering what everyone’s putting as their second pick at this point. She’s already more or less got Bullet Dodger in the bag as well.

      Reply
  8. Minxy

    Lmao
    I was so eager to see what you would write but kept waiting to give you chance
    Dam I could have checked earlier

    Brilliant and succinct recap

    Loved Tristan’s hip nudge to J – get down them stairs woman and dance – we may beleavingbut with pride And showing pond Ray for exactly what he is

    Wonder if Pondray went clubbigwiththem? Oh to be a fly on the wall there lol

    Reply
  9. KK Strictly

    Peter should have been immediately eliminated for kissing his fingers and then putting them on Janette’s forehead just before the dance off. It made me go “EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!” And when Janette turned back to camera it looked like she’d just said the same.

    I’d *never* wanted jamelia to win a dance off before but boy were we rooting for her all the way through and although pandre improved, it was still terrible choreography and I thought she’d done enough. End of days when I’m agreeing with Len!

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      It’s alright, everyone’s decided we don’t have to credit Len because his vote was pointless, I’m running with that.

      Reply
  10. dancing cake

    I’d read the spoiler and decided not to watch the results show as I can’t take any more of Kellie screeching. But your recap told me everything I needed to know.

    Reply
    1. JAG

      For the first time (no, I don’t know why either), I had read the spoiler too. I assumed that Jamelia had fallen on her backside for her to lose to one of the most pathetic jives I have ever seen so I stupidly watched it. All available missiles had to be removed from my reach as I said something I never thought I would say about Darcey Bussell.
      Am I the only person who finds Katie beyond irritating with her “are you really about to criticise me face” and as for Kellie’s screeching please make it stop!

      Reply
      1. DJ Mikey

        I’ll take “Bitch Face” over “Bleeding Ears” any day. While I console myself with the knowledge that Le Andre is doomed next week!!

    2. BeyonceCastle

      I watched it to see how obvious the contrived standing ovation edit they allegedly reshot for Petey was. (You’re not going home and are going to sit through this Non Jive until you bloody well start enjoying it. Greg, the doors. Who’s got Derren Brown’s number? Noone? Bugger. Pash, go and call Flackers to get Paul McKenna’s number off Simon. Yep. I can make you clap. That’s the one.)

      Reply
    3. dancing cake

      PS Just watched the “goodbye Jamelia” bit on Strictly website and at least three of the other couples commented on how well she danced the quickstep. I think we all know the edited out bit …. “especially compared to that pile of poo from Peter”.

      Reply
  11. Jaysfluid

    A perfect in depth analysis. Thank you. Have a look at the couples talking about Jam on Strictly site. All ( apart from obvious) said it was her best dance. It was. Let’s all start an on line petition.
    No. I didn’t mean that. But I will enjoy gnashing my teeth about the penguin jive for a few days.

    Reply
  12. DJ Mikey

    How the EFF did this happen, Jamelia was joy to watch during Quickstep (BOTH TIMES)? Has somebody killed off the Rad Fems in the Production Gallery? Because that is the only feasible explanation.

    Even Ben Cohen did a better Jive than whatever that was that Le Andre pulled out of his ass.

    Reply
      1. Minxy

        Vaughny’s jive had more content and was danced better than pondray’s
        AND was danced better!

        AND was way, way, way more entertaining

  13. Gerry

    I liked poshnosh’s comment on Digital Spy —

    “Watching the dance off I asked Mrs Posh what dance she thought Peter was dancing, “Looks like one of yours” was her reply!

    Reply
    1. DJ Mikey

      Well he’s defo in the dance off next week and it’s impossible for him to win – Jamelia was robbed, but Le Andre is well screwed.

      I wonder how many people will vote “None Of The Above” when the time comes – I know I will and I even picked 1 of Iwan’s dances because I felt guilty picking “None Of The Above”

      Reply
      1. BeyonceCastle

        Ah Mikey you sweetie, even I couldn’t pick one of Iwan’s. I was never a Fan of the Orange Klaxon except for the endless entertainment provided by the fact He Really Loves His Kids, nonetheless I won’t begrudge his gurny charleston and against all odds I liked his foxtrot. But I would not be so sure about him being in the DO next Saturday:
        a) bounce back effect/fanbase act on his tweets
        b) being overmarked (like Kellie last week) to get him up top if there is an agenda
        c) Janette pulling out all the stops in a salsa (albeit I think hip action is an issue)
        d) Anita has a rumba, Katie has argentine. Both dances can be tricky.
        But I don’t want him in the final four (Jay, Anita, Georgia, Katie are my hopes) Him/Kell/Hellsbells are all interchangeable for me but the public hates perceived injustice/love an underdog. His days are numbered.

      2. MorticiaA

        How I hope you’re right. Suspect he will be grotesquely over marked to keep him safe….. Ggggggrrrrrrr……

      3. DJ Mikey

        Well I forgot about his Charleston in a moment of blinding rage – and I don’t even like Jamelia.

        a) I have no response to that.
        b) Georgia has taken the crown for being over marked – she’s the Judges’ new hotness.
        c) Janette might be able to disguise how crap Le Andre is hold, but she’ll never be able to disguise his hip action – also his stompiness Salsa’s all about smooth steps with that hip action.
        d) Anita could be safe if all eyes are on Gleb showboating – it will be interesting to see if it’s amazing or a train wreck, Katie aced her Rumba so I’m expecting good things from her AT.

        My final 4 are Jay, Georgia, Katie and Anita or Helen – Le Andre can’t screw off quick enough and I sure I’ve mentioned at least once how I feel about Kellie and Kevin – their like the children in Village of the Damned, only without the sweet release of death.

  14. Seronie

    I must say I like how Jamelia’s redemption arc has concluded with ‘Jamelia wuz robbed!’ after being persona non grata for the last 6 weeks. If you cling on long enough, only to be felled by a ringah who can’t even ring properly, then you too can earn the GBPs favour. Get it girl.

    That or yknow, ol Pete brings that out in people. (Still like the guy). Personally, I think fair’s fair if you ask me though.

    Also, Anita ❤ ❤ what a woman

    Reply
    1. BeyonceCastle

      Yes I noticed that and the fact that they all praise her dancing.
      Re K+K children of the damned (you made me laugh thank you) weren’t they blank faced rather than gurning?! 😉
      In my pitchfork vitriol bandwagonning (I do like a good bunfight) I forgot Peter’s tango. Drama queen that I am, I did like the card sharp tango with the throwing of cards all over the floor a d the fact that it was a New Order track. So I shall be voting for that one when he goes…

      Reply
      1. DJ Mikey

        It was a good Tango but his Charleston was his best dance, I’ll give him that much credit. Does anybody have a tango next week, because I want to post a list of music that I feel is thematically appropriate for tangos.

  15. Carl

    I can’t help thinking back to American Idol 2, when Trenyce, a bottom 3/bottom 2 frequenter who’d had promise but some very dodgy performances as well, was walking dead (this was about around the time there were 5 people left), only to surprise with two good performances. Meanwhile, somewhat smug Josh Gracin, who was supposed to be more of the people’s favorite as he sang country and had been in the Marines, bombed out with an embarrassing attempt at some boy band ballad or something. They were the bottom 2, and Trenyce went (by public vote, not like the judges deciding on Strictly, obviously), which should have been a nonstarter, but there was enough viewer anger over the result to seal Josh’s fate the next week.

    Part of me thinks the same will happen here, but I could also see a big comeback arc for him to “prove” he deserves to still be there.

    Reply
    1. Carl

      Never mind – I went and checked and he wasn’t actually in the bottom 2, Ruben was (that being the big controversy), and that week he did some hideously awful Bad Blood cover (if there is any version of that song that isn’t hideously awful…) where he forgot the words.

      I can’t even remember pointless pop culture anymore.

      Reply
  16. britpopbaby

    I honestly believed for a good three seconds that Peter was a goner. I thought that dance was SO BAD on purpose because he needed to get off the show quickly for some reason.

    I will personally miss Tristan. His apathy towards everything was brilliant. Telling Zoe on ITT that Blackpool was nothing special to pros gave me life.

    Reply
    1. Lesley Rigg

      Yes I agree, Tristan’s refusal to get invested and starting sentences with a laid back “ahhh look…” love him, will miss him on ITT – poor old Jam Jams – I shall be donning the “…Wuz Robbed” t-shirt – go nice with my unresolved Austin one…. 😉

      Reply
  17. cymruangel

    I don’t really have anything to add to your marvellous recap or the comments above, I just wanted to whole-heartedly agree. We are in the audience next week, and if we are anywhere near the dancers will try to trip him up, or at least nit join in with forced standing ovations.

    Reply
  18. Agrippina

    It was complete bullshit, yes, and Jamelia was notably better than Peter in both the main show and the dance-off, but I can’t help thinking that it would have been pointless to put her through again when it’s so clear that she didn’t have any popular support. If she’d been saved, she would probably have been out next week anyway, and where on earth was she supposed to get the motivation to keep going? After starting off quite strongly disliking her, I have to admit that she did deal with all those dance-offs graciously and it would have been easy for her to think “sod this” and do a half-arsed job, but she didn’t. So well done, Jamelia.

    But – and oh God, look what this bloody show is making me say – is it really fair to blame Peter for this week’s debacle? Janette was responsible for the rotten choreography that had almost no jive steps, and I doubt if he has any control over the story arcs that the producers are trying to push on us. He’s the biggest irritant this show has featured for some time but my sense of justice is not feeling happy right now.

    Reply
    1. BeyonceCastle

      Yes Janette is responsible for the choreo but he could not even perform the three seconds worth of side by side kicks no flicks she did incorporate. Maybe he has an injury or was Pixie Lott busy.
      I am surprised she did not make it into more of a rock n roll jive (works out so well for Nat 😉 ) or an Anton-prior-to-this-series slower ballroom G.I jive. Given that he could do Charleston even doing a swing type lindy hop would have worked better. She is not daft plus has help on hand including Aljaz or externals if needed so it has to bge a combination of illness/lack of stamina + business/lack of training. Surely?

      Reply
    2. monkseal Post author

      I always feel like, for better or worse, these are partnerships we’re judging. If someone balls up the choreography, unfortunately, I’m not one for giving free passes. I’ve watched this show for long enough that the pro is definitely part of who I want to win, albeit not to DWTS fandom levels. I hope. Ecept with Pasha.

      Reply
  19. Sue Howarth

    My guess for the final is Jay and Anita, neither will do a dance off, and Georgia and Helen
    So leaving, possibly in this order, Peter, Katie then Kellie
    I think it will have to be Georgia over Kellie anyone else the judges wont save her.I could see Kellie doing all three dance off. So it will be Kellie Peter, Kellie Katie then Kellie Georgia
    Its an interesting year

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I think they’d let Kellie go rather than put her through three in a row, especially with her schedule, it’d break her poor love.. Although obviously they’ll be under extra scrutiny now.

      Reply
  20. Plinkiplonk

    I believe that was just a very unfortunate collision of events. Clearly this was going to be Jamelia’s last show; all other remaining celebs are better dancers over all, and she was meant to go out on a high. Classic trajectory, and nobody would have blinked an eye had it been against anyone else. As people have said, she must have polled last for several weeks, so the viewers cannot be very much invested in her.
    The problem was that Peter had a bad week, probably a combo of time constraints, bad choreo and maybe a dance that didn’t suit him. So placing him (correctly) at the bottom of the board resulted in this unholy mess. They couldn’t well save Jamelia now, as that would leave Jay all on his own with the females, and they worked too hard to make his inevitable (and maybe undeserved) ovary-sponsored win less obvious to let that happen.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      She did though, beat Kellie a couple of weeks back. So not TOTALLY last amongst everyone remaining with the public. At least not every week.

      Reply
  21. Huriye

    I don’t think Jamelia’s stock with the GBP has necessarily risen – though she took the DO decision in a very sporting way – but the viewers just hate injustice, of which this absurd decision (bar Len) was a prime case. Criticised by Dance professionals like Arlene Phillips and Matthew Bourne on Twitter incidentally, who didn’t mince their words. Let’s see if Zoe reads out those tweets!

    The other annoying thing about it all is that it gives Ola’s interview to the Sun re “fixing” validity.
    Quite depressing really for the N0.1 show on telly. 😦

    Reply
    1. BeyonceCastle

      That is quite annoying but coincidental given that James was/remains Team Pondray albeit did concede he would have saved Jimjams. Unless Ola predicted the DO in advance like Mystic Meg didn’t want to diss her buddy so got her gobshite hubby to continue to fly the orange mast so she would get max publicity/credence without stabbing her friend in the back.
      P.S. I am of course joking but am amazed we haven’t had that as a conspiracy theory over at DS yet. ;-). Am also amazed James “tells it like it is” Jordan deemed Peter’s routine better than Katie/Jamelia (before his own volte-face) and also gave it an 8, given the lack of content compared with his own routine to the same track. Unless he was just grateful that we will now associate said music with the orange one rather than with Alex’s preferring an actual rag doll to him.
      http://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=Tyq5WTCZ2IU

      Reply
    1. BeyonceCastle

      Ooh I found the yank equivalent of a non-jive jive which they over marked anyway!
      Starts 3 mins in. I should add however that Derek had a back injury, should not have been dancing so they did erm this….
      http://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=EkeQYqN9WWM
      They were eliminated BTW.
      Mikey how does this one sit with your monkie category? Less shit/more shit?!

      Reply
      1. BeyonceCastle

        We have a winner. I present you Kelly Osbourne complete with green hair, thumb sucking and bloody rag doll. She STILL wins Monkie for Crappy Jive That Was Less Shit Than Pantsdre’s

      2. DJ Mikey

        These are all valid options, along with any already previously mentioned in this comment section..

        But Kelly Osbourne’s effort creeps me out on a epic scale.

  22. creativityinthebox

    If Jamelia had stayed over Peter, they might as well have done away with the viewer vote and Sunday night show. Just kick out the weakest dancer each week, regardless of how they’ve performed up to that point or how popular they are with the viewers. If Jeremy had been better last week and Jamelia had cocked up, do you really think they would have saved him over her?

    Reply
    1. Gerry

      Yes to your question! Because that’s what’s supposedly the point of dance offs.

      It’s Peter staying and Jamelia, the better dancer in the dance off, going that makes the dance off and the Sunday night edited programme irrelevent!

      Either you have a dance off to give the bottom two filtered out by combined judges and public opinion a second chance to redeem themselves, or you don’t and kick off the bottom couple will-he-nill-he, saving yourself the hassle.

      Is the hassle worth it? I think so if you want to make sure that the weaknesses that put them there weren’t temporary lapses — but that also presupposes good judgement by the final arbiters, something that is most definitely called into doubt by the decisions of these so-called judges in this particular débâcle.

      Reply
    2. monkseal Post author

      …but the public had the chance to save the weakest dancer via the public vote and they didn’t. And they’ve managed it four times this series so it’s not that hard.

      Reply
  23. Perfect Custard

    Great way to recap this travesty. I’m most disappointed in Craig and Darcey,
    The upside as everyone is saying-at least Peter is now toast and will be gone before the final.
    @BeyondCastle – many thanks for that link, Anya – now that is how you dance a jive when your partner is weak. Any chance Anya might return to Strictly ? She was better at choreo than a lot of the dancers imho.

    Reply
    1. DJ Mikey

      I love Anya Garnis – although I’m pretty sure I even love Joanne Clifton at this point, over say Janette Manrara, and I was advocating killing all Cliftons associated with the show.

      I love to see Anya comeback and then get Whitney Carson and Valentin Chmerkovskiy, or at least make Shem Jacobs one of the principle pros instead of being a chorus dancer and set decoration.

      Reply
  24. Perfect Custard

    @DJ Mikey – thanks for the support, fans of Anya need to stick together. I mean that girl knows how to make her partner look good no matter what. And Pasha would like it too, so why not?

    Reply
  25. Chris

    Can we have a new Monkie Category this year? – Monkie for Best Performance on It Takes Two: because I feel that Jamelia’s tour de force this evening needs a trophy of some kind.

    Reply
    1. Gerry

      Amen to that! My wife and I were in Oxford on Monday evening, witnessing the start of the outstanding new tour of Caro Emerald and the Grand Mono Orchestra, but I watched the first part of ITT on iPlayer after we got back and I thought Jamelia and Tristan were absolutely brilliant at exposing the disgraceful decision without actually tripping any legal BBC IEDs.

      Reply
  26. TheLoneWolf

    Andre is clickbait. For all the wrong reasons, but clickbait nonetheless. Ironically, although his mere existance offends the 8-10 people on DS who mention him 8-10 times a day the most, it is they that assure the series needs him. What else is being talked about? ‘Who will win?’ hasnt been discussed at all since Week 3 and you cant talk about the amateur performances because theyve been overshadowed by the sheer number and unusual quality of the ringers. Its been a really frustrating season to watch.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      There’s a lot of discussion at the moment about whether it’s perfectly normal in Nottingham to state your desire to brutally mutilate children?

      Reply

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