Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 8 Results Summary

Just when you thought it was safe for men to enter the water (at Blackpool) THE CULL IS BACK ON! But first we get two special guest performers and one of them AREN’T EVEN DOING THEIR NEW SINGLE GLORY BE! They do, however, have to soundtrack this week’s pro routine, because no-one in this show’s target demographic have heard of them, so we can’t trust them to perform on their own. It’s not a bad routine as this year’s…choices go but it’s hard for me not to feel disappointed that a routine that’s been trailed all week as featuring “all different kinds of love” and which is being danced to Years And Years remains “family show” and ruggedly hetero throughout and is the usual business where Karen has her heart broken by caddish Brenda and ends up with (yes) Kevin at the end. Also some business in a park. Not like that. The other guest singer is Brandon Flowers. He looks like he’s been left under the grill for about 2 minutes too many.

Len’s Glans this week targets Georgia and Katie for particular praise (like me!) and Anita and Jamelia for particular ire (not like me!). It’s mostly amusing for watching a slow mo performance of a charleston that’s actually in sync! (*cough cough*)

But back to the misandry it is as, after an absolutely terrifying screeching meltdown from Kellie over being called safe and notice that yes, Anton will be dancing American Smooth at Blackpool again, it turns out that the Pimp Slot, overtheming up the wazzoo, a promise of fireworks shooting out both ends next week AND constant, endless, non-stop branding of him as embodying the JOY of Strictly, dance itself, and puppies and kitties and rainbows, aren’t enough to save Jeremy, as he hits the dance-off with Jamelia and the judges can’t bring themselves to completely ignore the rules and save him. Even though they clearly want to.

So 6 women and 2 men are making the journey to the home of Ballroom. Also somewhere a manufacturer of giant exploding prop guitars has to tell his family it’s going to be a lean lean Christmas.

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35 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 8 Results Summary

  1. John

    Lool, Jamelias gone full panto villain this year, love it. She’s iced crowd favourite Jez.

    However I can’t see her not going next week.

    So glad to see Katie resurgent. She’s a gifted dancer and THAT Fullerton stat is really irksome!

    Reply
  2. Breppo

    I’m glad the “comedy” act has gone. There was as much fun in watching the underground nonsense as there was watching the Green Team on the Amazing Race pushing a mine cart full of rock salt.
    Over-egging the pudding is what it was and we all know from GBBO that is never a good thing.

    Reply
    1. Gerry

      What twat thought “Going Underground” was about mining? — It was political satire for fuck’s sake! At one point The Jam could almost have been referencing Jeremy —
      “We talk and we talk until my head explodes
      I turn on the news and my body froze
      These braying sheep on my TV screen”
      — except of course he’s too nice to really earn that sort of approbation, even for The Jeremy Vine Show on Radio 2!

      Reply
      1. Breppo

        I’ve culled the list of “reality” shows after reading about the way things are manipulated on most of them. Masterchef/Masterchef Junior Oz being prime examples. TAR is still on my list. I’m hoping it will get better and of course I’m waiting for an All-Star season with Kym and Alli (The Cyclists).
        TAR, TAR CA, Stricly, DWTS Oz, GBBO and the Oz version (Season 2 is really great!) are the only ones left that I watch. I feel a bit freer…

    1. monkseal Post author

      I dunno, if ever there was a stage grand enough for Helen’s meltdown to truly begin. It’ll be like the carousel scene from Strangers On A Train.

      Reply
  3. DJ Mikey

    I’ve just realised a sick and twisted part of me wants Le Andre to dance to Mysterious Girl – it will be awful in the way that all Le Andre’s dances, but I still need it for the world to make sense.

    Reply
  4. Elsa

    I can’t figure out if they were really trying to keep Jeremy out of the bottom two or if it’s a big ruse. After his dance, Jeremy told Claudia that he had JUST been told he would have that exploding guitar thing – and Claudia had obviously been told through her earpiece or whatever to ask him what he was doing next week. So that, along w/pimp slot, suggests they were desperately trying to save him. YET, they didn’t set up anyone else to be in the bottom with Jam. Kellie was scored outrageously high – a 9 for that crapfest dressed as loons? And the show must obviously know slating Jay and putting him 3rd lowest wouldn’t work. If they’d really wanted to keep Jeremy, they would have targeted someone else more effectively imo. So their rigging has either reached phantasmagoric levels – or they have abysmally failed at what’s obvious even to me, that they’d need to target someone vulnerable like Kellie. Oh well… it is what it is.

    Reply
    1. stevenperkins

      Was Kellie really that vulnerable though? I would have thought someone in her position (generally a good dancer, viewed as a contender, whatever fanbase she has galvanised by *shock* bottom two appearance last week) was always going to be safe this week. I don’t think they were actively trying to throw anyone to the wolves to save Jeremy (I don’t think they care about the comedy element that much), but the closest was probably Anita – on early, good but not great scores, middle of the leaderboard, public vote largely untested until this week. But maybe I’m just saying that because I’m an Anita stan who panic-voted for her for those very reasons.

      Reply
  5. Perfect Custard

    Thank God the comedy act went, I like Jeremy but not that much. Sorry Monkseal but this last dance was the worst one he’s done.
    Jamelia will no doubt be toast next week in Blackpool, but she can actually dance and move way better than Jeremy. Most of all I’m pleased to see Katie get a bit of a second wind, and move on.

    Reply
  6. wcs-wh

    I never once picked up on Jeremy’s much feted “joy of dance”. He was clearly a wise and warm-hearted guy who had a passion for learning; and as an example for never giving up he was excellent, but a love of dancing was never apparent to me. Ainsley fitted that description far better. Now he was someone I could imagine being a damn good laugh on the wedding dance floor. But not Jeremy.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Ainsley’s was a joy on the floor but off it…woof. He just seemed like he was taking it all a bit too seriously by the end.

      Reply
  7. BeyonceCastle

    Yep, the wilful literal misinterpretation of Going Underground did it for me. They might as well have dressed in dwarf costumes and have done. It was poor. The public gets what the public wants might have been alluding to his popularity but with a fair few going Jay-crazy with their voting, Kellie getting a bounce, Peter being overscored and Helen/Georgia dancing so well, he would have to have been amazing. Say, gladioli-waving The Smiths This charming man amazing.
    Yes I know tis about a rich bloke picking up a gay virgin but if they can misinterpret the Jam, then they could have had Karen moaning about having nowt to wear, throwing on a scarf and having Jez present her with some gladioli. That said, the sheeple might still not have voted as we get to decide who is charming or not 😉 But it still would have been better than the “Chilean mining disaster” ( thanks for that Chris, I grinned from ear to ear).

    Reply
  8. Huriye

    Still think the Judges will get a public backlash for keeping Jamelia in 4 bloody times! And Len seems to have given up the ghost of disagreeing vehemently with the rest, so all 4-0 decisions. Truly shocking not one of them voted for Jezza, when some claimed to find him entertaining.
    So Jamelia pointed her hands downwards in the DO, so what? The rest of it was weak and Tristan is the weakest Pro. Begone already!

    Also that rotten opening Pro routine was piss poor. Enough already with the twee Gilkison love stories with the bloody Cliftons. As Monkseal said, if it had’ve been a gay love story, would’ve been far more interesting, preferably with Aljaz and Gleb.

    Reply
    1. catherinehirst

      As possibly the biggest anti-Jamelia person reading this blog and also one who genuinely enjoyed Jeremy, I have to say her DO performance was actually a big improvement on her performance on the live show. And at the end of the day, they hamstrung a man with no natural dance ability (other than rhythm) with a woman a foot and a half shorter than he is. It was always going to be a disaster, especially in ballroom, and I do feel that Jamelia (ugh, as much as it pains me to say) deserved to go through with those two dances head to head.

      I now feel unclean.

      Reply
      1. monkseal Post author

        They did cast too many tall guys this year I think. BRING BACK IVETA (was she tall let’s pretend she was)

    2. monkseal Post author

      The public, sadly, seem all too happy to labour under the dance-off yoke and accept whatever the judges spoon them. The spirit of rebellion has been crushed, we’re never getting rid of it.

      Reply
  9. Huriye

    Forgot to add, my fave part of the Results Show was Len describing what an Aiida was in Katie’s Rhumba. Very interesting, and YAY for traditional choreo!

    BTW Monkseal, do you know who did Team GG’s Charleston choreo? It was brilliant whoever did it.

    Reply
  10. Fenweasel

    Quite liked the opening pro dance, mainly for the look of utter smugness on Brenda’s face as he strode manfully around the office trailing adoring secretaries. I suspect he could quite happily stick with that theme for every dance.

    I was quite excited that the dance was living up to it’s “all kinds of love” premise when ignored-by-Brenda Karen consoled herself by being carried off by Pasha, Gleb, and Aljaz, but my hopes were dashed when they handed her over to Kevin and scarpered. Careless Karen: if Pasha, Aljaz, and Gleb had carried me off they’d have had to get a crowbar to prise me off them. And, no, Kevin is not an acceptable substitute.

    Reply
  11. Minxy

    As a Jeremy on Strictly fan (and would have loved him to be in the final, doubly so if he knocked Pduh out in the semi) I didn’t vote for him this week (nor anyone else) despite knowing he would suffer from Jay not being thought safe.
    I defended the camp theming to Go West but jeez Louise there is no defending the stupidity of this weeks theming! Nor am I on the saciledge bandwagon.
    What would havwrong with just doing a straight forward quick step to a piece of music?
    I don’t like any designated Komedy Kontestant – if there is humour there let it flow naturally (hammer time) don’t try and force it. That alone would have been enough to stop me voting.
    Add onto that that J just wasn’t enjoying the dance this time and meh
    Then the set up of asking about next weeks dance before the score and I went triple meh.. .

    But having said that I did think he danced better than J in the dance off. Yes J paid attention and placed her hands better in the dance off but overall she danced it worse

    Bye Jeremy I enjoyed most of your dances

    Georgia and JoeVarney’s charleston was definitely the dance of the night and I agree better than Sophie’s – yes even with the mistake

    Reply
    1. Gerry

      I was interested to hear Karen Hardy having a go at Craig on ITT for criticising Jamelia’s *properly* bent legs, and Tristan saying he deliberately told her to turn her hands upwards to help her stance. In the circumstances I suggest that he and perhaps the other judges undermarked her — I don’t know much about her apart from some widely disparaged tweets she has made, but like many apparently *evil* celebs she seems thoroughly nice and under-appreciated.

      Reply

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