Just when you thought it was safe for men to enter the water (at Blackpool) THE CULL IS BACK ON! But first we get two special guest performers and one of them AREN’T EVEN DOING THEIR NEW SINGLE GLORY BE! They do, however, have to soundtrack this week’s pro routine, because no-one in this show’s target demographic have heard of them, so we can’t trust them to perform on their own. It’s not a bad routine as this year’s…choices go but it’s hard for me not to feel disappointed that a routine that’s been trailed all week as featuring “all different kinds of love” and which is being danced to Years And Years remains “family show” and ruggedly hetero throughout and is the usual business where Karen has her heart broken by caddish Brenda and ends up with (yes) Kevin at the end. Also some business in a park. Not like that. The other guest singer is Brandon Flowers. He looks like he’s been left under the grill for about 2 minutes too many.
Len’s Glans this week targets Georgia and Katie for particular praise (like me!) and Anita and Jamelia for particular ire (not like me!). It’s mostly amusing for watching a slow mo performance of a charleston that’s actually in sync! (*cough cough*)
But back to the misandry it is as, after an absolutely terrifying screeching meltdown from Kellie over being called safe and notice that yes, Anton will be dancing American Smooth at Blackpool again, it turns out that the Pimp Slot, overtheming up the wazzoo, a promise of fireworks shooting out both ends next week AND constant, endless, non-stop branding of him as embodying the JOY of Strictly, dance itself, and puppies and kitties and rainbows, aren’t enough to save Jeremy, as he hits the dance-off with Jamelia and the judges can’t bring themselves to completely ignore the rules and save him. Even though they clearly want to.
So 6 women and 2 men are making the journey to the home of Ballroom. Also somewhere a manufacturer of giant exploding prop guitars has to tell his family it’s going to be a lean lean Christmas.