Having had our goofy and fun Hallowe’en routine to open last night, tonight starts with the annual Dark And Moody number. This year it’s Pasha and Ola serving as Red King and Red Queen over a chessboard of both black and white pros representing chess pieces, all dancing…like chess pieces. It’s very dramatic and theatrical, and in the end the white pieces win because Pasha and Ola wave and the other team fall over. Which isn’t how I remember most chess games ending, but there we are.
Shockingly, Len’s Glans manages to be mostly useful for the second week running, with Peter’s foxtrot getting the sort of technical eye passed over it everyone’s been asking for with his dances since the start of the series. We also cover the tightness of Georgia’s tango, the lack of swivel in Kirsty’s Charleston, and Jeremy actually doing a sort of alright dance for once. Also the comedy bit is Bruno popping manically like he’s at an Ibiza Foam Party, so even that’s fun, of a sort. Good job again, Len’s Glans. Less so this week’s musical guest, James Morrison, chainsawing his way through yet another “new single”. It sounds mostly like someone yelling “CHAKA DEMUS!” over and over again. No pliars though. Except the ones that sound like they’re being applied to his nads. (Do any of these new singles chart, can someone check?)
It’s said multiple times tonight that we’re now entering the second half of this series, so it’s time to trim off some loose ends. After the saved women celebrate in their own various ways (Kellie by having a terrifying sleep-deprived manic episode, Helen and Anita by flirting like two girls after lights out at boarding school, Carol by openly wondering why the hell anyone’s voting for her), our bottom 2 is an entirely unsurprising one. Because neither Jamelia and Kirsty can dance generally, and neither of Jamelia and Kirsty danced well on Saturday in particular, and neither Jamelia or Kirsty are popular so…you figure out. Jamelia’s lightbulb moment that nobody at home really likes her very much, as she wades into her third dance-off, seems to be a particular punch in the face for her bless her. It’s Kirsty who gets snipped this time, but the whole thing has you wishing they’d just called a double elimination and gone to a 3 person final.
Still, onwards and upwards! TO THE NEXT NON-THEME WEEK! WITH LOTS OF BALLROOM!