Well this series is making Series 11 look like an MRA meeting isn’t it?
We start with an English seaside pro Charleston. There’s bathing caps, parasols, giant beachballs and Estherwilliamsography a-plenty and I might have been able to view it all as jolly good clean fun if the band’s rendition of “The Sun Has Got His Hat On” wasn’t driving me to take a hatpin to my eardrums. Also sadly, in a week where it might have been useful, the Big Recap is as useless as ever. Will we ever know what it was Bruno was drinking/smoking/snorting/injecting backstage? Whatever it was, he’s sobered up substantially for a Lenless Len’s Glans (his knee op means he can’t get up the stairs) where the mistakes in Georgia, Jamelia and Katie’s routines are all gone over and explained clearly by the three judges in attendance. ie what we sold the segment as being for! It’s only been 5 series but we finally made it!
Our special guest singer tonight is Bryan Adams, and it becomes increasingly clear over the course of the evening that Carol is a terrifying stan of his. Pretty much the entirity of the first visit to Claud 9 is her squealing over how talented and handsome he is and fanning herself at a clearly terrified Claudia. I can’t remember anything taking over a Results Show Claud 9 quite so much since Mark Wright’s (first) nervous breakdown. When he performs…he’s alright. It’s Bryan Adams (*shrug*)
Our bottom 2? Ainsley and Jamelia. Len throws his first strop of the season over how Jamelia SHOULDN’T BE THERE, THE PUBLIC WUZZ WRONG. Len, the remaining ratio of people who can dance to people who can’t is 7 : 4. Save this strop for a week you might need it, rather than over JAMELIA, it’ll lose all impact. You know, more than it already has. Ainsley goes, as you might expect, despite both of them horribly biffing the dance-off leaving us with 8 women and 3 men left going into Hallowe’en Week. Truly this isn’t just the YEAR OF THE WOMAN but the whole damn era of it.