Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 3 Performance Summary

It’s Movie Week, and the gap between the Haves And The Have-Nots is starting to crack out wider than the Grand Canyon at the end of Thelma & Louise, as the RINGAH front-runner pack shake off their nerves, warm up their creaking old stage school bones, and finally book an appointment to see a therapist for their crippling and hystercal darceyphilia, and so start to leave our poor benighted normals staring in confusion on the other side of the gap, dressed up forlornly as penguins (Ainsley), Liberace-esque Danny Zukos (Daniel), and…I think they were supposed to be dogs? (Kirsty)

Leading the revved-up charge into the great beyond are Jay & Aliona doing a Pulp Fiction themed jive and pulling off the very smart move of totally kidding around in the intro aping the movie choreography, then stealth-kidding-around with a decent if not blowaway middle section, before SLAMMING IT INTO WARP for a jaw-dropping grand finale. Seriously Aliona, I underestimated you. *bows* Just about hanging on to their rear bumper are Helen, who goes out onto the floor channelling Marilyn Monroe like a provincial Tennessee gayboy at his first drag night, bless her, and Kellie who gets pulled along in Kevin living out his sweaty-palmed teenage fantasies of being a Jedi in a Charleston themed around Star Wars that didn’t go nearly over the top enough for my liking. I wanted Greedo, I wanted Chewie, I wanted Craig as Darth Vader, I WANTED THE MAN IN A HAT AS AN EWOK! Oh and if you want the debate settled, looking at Kevin’s face, he shot first (yes I am scribbling down all my jokes for this here as you for some reason voted these two out of the recap over…several more obvious options).

Peeling back from the propah frontrunners like flying suitcases out the trunk of that Thunderbird convertible, for a variety of reasons, mostly choreographical, are Anita (whose lack of refinement and training does start to show a little in a truly phantasmagorical Ghost themed American Smooth that includes something called The Gleb Special which WE WILL GET TO IN THE FULL RECAP YES WE WILL), Katie (the usual Anton Party Latin issues, which he gets very speechy about as her eyes wander around wondering where her next Martini’s coming from), and Georgia. The latter’s Bond themed rumba (GOD NO MORE BOND THEMED DANCES PLEASE) is basically a bunch of bum wiggles and…more bum wiggles, and prompts Len’s annual “let’s have a weird old man strop with a newbie to break them in” of the series. Giovanni looks devastated bless him. It’s the first time all series I’ve liked him/not wanted to push him down a well. We’re also “treated” to Peter Andre doing more pop music video dancing this time dressed as a pirate but to be honest Peter’s participation in the show feels like it happening in a parallel universe on another planet 250 years into the future so who even knows any more? He feels a bit like how they’ve started having random guest music acts on the end of Pointless now.

Back on the sidelines Jamelia’s Charlie’s Angels Disco salsa gets pity points for her being fresh off a dance-off despite the fact she knows about 25% of the routine and Tristan actually has to DRAG HER INTO POSITION BY THE HAIR and Jeremy doing a Top Hat themed Charleston(ish) gets pity points for…being Jeremy (the judges being 100% inconsistant with when that’s going to happen at all times) but otherwise? Raw liquid carnage. As well as the three couples I mentioned at the top of the recap who were swamped by theming, Anthony’s arm continues to be an issue, no matter how much Oti is now working to actively keep its brokenness out of view of camera, and his paso doble comes across like someone doing karate in their backyard in a send-in from You’ve Been Framed circa 1999, and Carol…well she’s still not a dancer bless her.

Game on.

For second/third place by the looks of it.


51 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 13 – Week 3 Performance Summary

  1. Aoife

    Typical! We voted Pixie out of the recap last year and she had a brilliant dance. This year we vote Kellie out (well, I was more voting Kevin out) and she has a brilliant dance.
    Very weird show tonight, camera work was dreadful for some dances.
    Not a fan of Giovanni but Len was a total prick to him. Keep the personal digs off camera.
    Anton has yet again been found out with his shite Latin choreography. It still won’t silence the #Antonforthefinal brigade.
    Jay and Aliona were amazing, had to rewind and watch again.
    There’ll be lots of Gleb Special re-enactment injuries this weekend I suspect. Looking forward to the full recap ☺

    1. DJ Mikey

      I don’t care how good her dance was – nothing can make that personality less grating, not even ability. As for Kevin, I’ve actually gone off him so completely I want them to bring James Jordan back – yeah it’s gotten that bad.

      Jay and, my girl, Aliona were amazing – I always use the Jive to determine where the real talent is. Looking forward to their future dances. Also – post haircut – Jay looks like my friend Damien so I’m able to fancy Jay again. It’s so many different types of good.

      My interest in Gleb could be stoked if he gives good injury porn. At the minute, in my head, he’s both Prince Edward from Enchanted and the guy Girls@Play sung about in Airhead.

      I actually would like to see Anton and Katie in the final, but I’m not part of the hashtag – I imagine Anton just being Anton, will find some – currently unforseen – way to cock it up.

      Hate Len – Hate Giovanni!! Giovanni can greatly improve my opinion of himself, by punching Len. Georgia’s personality is the love child of Chelsee Healey’s personality and Abbey Clancey’s personality – there is no possible way for that to be a good thing.

      1. missfrankiecat

        Me too. 2/3 party Latin’s safely out of the way by this stage in the game iis a huge boost. Plus, the experience of that cha cha is likely to have disabused Katie of her previously expressed notion that she can’t wait to learn the Samba. I predict a cheesy disco ‘salsa’ for no 3.

    2. Gerry

      Len’s criticism of Pros would have been better aimed at Anton than Giovanni — when he buggered off to do his own thing the other side of the dance floor leaving poor Katie to twiddle her toes aimlessly stank of rotten choreography and an unwillingness to train his partner properly. I was furious at the time, seeing Katie getting the dressing down when Anton was the one in dire need of reaming out by all the judges — what’s the useless git on when he’s given a golden opportunity to get within touching distance of the Glitter Ball Trophy and he screws things up for his celeb like this?

  2. KM

    My laptop crashed with three dances to go and it had been such a long slog I couldn’t be bothered to re-boot it to catch them. However…this is now potentially sounding like a mistake?

    Of what I did see, I didn’t quite get it with Kellie and Kevin’s Charleston. The dancing they did was perfectly competent, but what they were doing seemed to be basically the same three moves over and over for about two thirds of the dance? I think I would have been more on board with the 8s had they ditched the lightsaber canes a LOT earlier.

    I also didn’t know what to make of the Andre. What you could make out didn’t look, you know, particularly good but then I’m not sure if anyone would have looked much better under 5 layers of pirate clothing? After fairly nice outfits all round last weeks there were a couple of howlers in there.

    1. Gerry

      After seeing and judging Riker and Alison’s near perfect scoring Cap’n Jack Sparrow paso only half a year ago on DWTS 20, I’m surprised Len and Bruno didn’t award lower scores than 7s for Peter Andre’s poor imitation — the wardrobe could have taken pointers from Riker’s DWTS costume too!

  3. Minxy

    I loved Jeremy tonight – what an improvement AND he retained the charm and enthusiasm that has made me love him every other week

    Jay and ourleona spoke for themselves. But awwww his mam! Bless her She was so overwhelmed and proud and didn’t know what to do with it all. So touching

    I didn’t actually take much notice of Petey, too busy watching Jannette. She gave it some welly, trying to inspire him but he wasn’t along for the ride I did notice that much. Anthony did a better job!

    Jamelia was bloody awful. She really thinks she is so good and so under marked. Is it coz I is black? No dear it is cos you are rubbish! Like Tristan, I too hope she is out this week. Save our Trist! (and I was feeling so over him as a pro) He is finding it so hard to pretend to like and empathise with her isn’t he? Those eye rolls to his mates at the top of the stairs
    Pissed myself at the weave grab. That should be a gif

    1. missfrankiecat

      Not to condone rough handling on the dance floor but she did actually perk up and get into gear for a couple of steps after the hair pulling incident before it all degenerated into another mess at the end. I have no doubt Tristan has his burdens dealing with Jamelia but I do wonder if she really is as talentless as she is looking with him. She’s the only one I thought looked significantly better at the outset than she has tuned out – well, I suppose the Andre looked slicker before he actually had to learn any actual dances too.

    2. monkseal Post author

      Gosh it’s very rare I interject down here to fingerwag but can we not with “is it coz I is black” and varients pls and thank you.

  4. Neio

    Could Pasha’s trousers have been any tighter? Blimey! Not that I’m complaining… Although his buttocks probably are.

    By contrast, Tristan’s outfit was bloody awful.

    I agree with Minxy – Janette was really giving it some in that paso doble.

    Len’s really taken against Giovanni hasn’t he? It reminds me of when Aliona joined the show.

    The Pulp Fiction Jive was fantastic, and, much as Kellie grates on me, the Star Wars Charleston was fun and I find Kevin’s geekiness endearing – I’d be just the same as a Strictly pro. It’s a miracle they haven’t had Glasses Kevin as Harry Potter at Halloween yet.

    1. monkseal Post author

      They’ve definitely had Glasses Kevin as Harry Potter in at least one VT. Probably last year when Frankie got him to get his broomstick out.

    2. DJ Mikey

      Pilot Pasha!! Aljaz with glasses and a Sailor hat – I believe my boxer-briefs are shrinking.

      Couldn’t they have at least dressed Tristan as a sexy bad guy, it would have been far more fitting to the current dynamic of the partnership. Has a pro ever looked less like they wanted to be there, without being Aliona??

  5. MorticiaA

    Peter wasn’t so much jack sparrow as Rumpelstiltskin, with the hunched posture, and the stamping, that, sadly, didn’t take him through the dance floor and out of our eyeline. Comically bad. And as for milking his parent’s anniversary as a substitute for how much he loves his kids. Pur-lease… That man has no shame. He makes mark wright look positively reticent….
    Poor Tristan. The weary way in which he uttered “acourse, acourse” when Claude prompted him on his pride in Jamelia spoke volumes. He’s seconds away from snatching the last life jacket and swimming to Erin island…
    Jay’s jive – wow!!!! Praying he can keep up the momentum, and not prove to be a Jake or SEB, although Aliona won’t lose sight of the glitterball that easily, will she? Did anyone else catch the balcony shot of Kellie looking utterly livid at all the judgely love for Jay? Priceless!
    Loved Jeremy’s daddy long legish enthusiasm – completely charming.
    Is Katie going to be scuppered by Anton’s appalling Latin? And who was that cha cha routine really dumbed down for? Not a very gentlemanly response on Anton’s part.
    Now if we could just be rid of Jamelia and Kirsty with their delusions of under marked talent..

    1. monkseal Post author

      Hey, Erin had years and years of good service behind her before she got to go to Erin Island, you don’t get to go in your second series because you can’t be arsed.

  6. Isolde

    Jay danced really well, but a lot of the choreography was just taken wholesale from Pulp Fiction, whereas a lot of the other pros had to wrangle inappropriate music into dance moves. And while I agree to a certain extent with the comments about Anton, I’m pretty sure that Pretty Woman is usually tangoed to (in the absence of proper tango music – grrr), and the tango and cha cha cha are really at opposite ends of the dahnce spectrum, so I’m not sure he’s entirely to blame.
    Perhaps the producers were worried about the great comments Katie has had so far, and tried to put the brakes on.

  7. Pops

    I can’t stop watching Jay’s jive – it was amazing. I agree with everything you said about the routine building so well and I think the Pulp Fiction theme really suited his lack of facial expression. I’m now really intrigued to see their Charleston – I love a non-gurny Charleston so I hope he does something more like Sophie’s and they resist the urge to do a Louis-style “performance breakthrough” storyline where he has to mug his way through it.

  8. BeyonceCastle

    Carol looked like she had nits at the beginning of that routine: more scratching than washing
    Anthony did okay given he has one arm, either judge accordingly or not let him take part in the first place and still don’t understand pairing a pro who loves lifts with injured celeb
    Katie was disappointing and now the gleeful backlash begins even though Anton choreoed a great routine in cha cha only two years ago poorly executed by Fiona
    Kellie was fine but her face annoys me
    Ainsley I loved this in its entirety, don’t care, although zoo vt just no
    Georgia killed that fall back trust exercise, Len gets on my tits
    Helen was fine but just doesn’t do it for me
    Daniel did indeed look like he was doing Behind the candelabra
    Kirsty had even worse vt than Ainsley, Brenda’s tail brandishing was plain wanky
    Peter: you danced a poor paso Petey
    Jamelia better than I was expecting in a dressing gown
    Jeremy would have looked better in white hat and tails. Sevens though?
    Anita was fine, needs an earlier slot next week for fairness
    Jay was good and now faces the dirty ringah backlash despite all the backgrounds being available to anyone who can read. Boo moo Leonardo sheeple.

    Would like to see Len replaced with Ian, Bruno can go an’ all, would rather have John Barrowman.

  9. BeyonceCastle

    And annoying yes, that last week’s group dance wasn’t used this weekend
    P!us the beeb won’t let me watch vids on YouTube anymore, the bastards

  10. Miss Cavie

    That jive was phenomenal, I must have watched it back about a dozen times. If anyone deserves a dirty ringah it’s Aliona just for having to dance with Greg Wallace.

    Giovanni is far from my favourite pro, but I actually felt a teeny bit of sympathy at his dressing down. Len sure has “Taken Agin” him – I think he’s actually grumpier without the jet lag.

    Biggest surprise was Jamelia actually scoring 7s for galumping around like a drunken cart horse. Graceful she ain’t.

  11. Jan

    So Daniel O’Donnell was representing every episode of Father Ted ever, basically? Ha ha ha THREE JOHN TRAVOLTAS! Ha ha ha that’s just… that’s the type of thing you know…. ha ha ha ha ha HA ha ha HA etc.

    I don’t know why Bruno said Anthony was fit – and definitely in the functional sense – he isn’t, he’s effectively disabled. I like seeing people with physical limitations doing things like Strictly, I find the ways it’s possible to work around them very interesting, but said limitations do need to be taken into account and his has been totally brushed over.

    Isn’t a jive supposed to be sexy? In the sense of having sex appeal at least if not in the dirty-filthy sense. And it’s just the ones they do on these programmes that usually aren’t? I don’t understand Darcy’s comments any other time though so I don’t know why I’m quibbling over this one.

    Watching the fallout from Jaymania reminded me of why I got into Strictly in the first place. Are people really now at the point of starting forum threads to complain about the number of forum threads about Jay? Man, that’s beautiful.

    1. DJ Mikey

      But Anthony’s Paso was so much better than Peter’s (yep he’s lost his shine, something that should have been amazing was Meh), when the guy with the broken arm out-dances you it’s time to go – while you can still maintain some level of grace and dignity.

  12. Huriye

    Move over Ha’penny! Jay’s Jive is the best EVAH! WOW! That certainly woke me up after I was flagging during such a looooooong show, but definitely worth waiting for. Captured the styling best of the night, and if TECHNIQUE was the Judge’s theme of the night, Jay’s was Fantastic. Loved his arm actions pumping away, and the casual way he took her hand and just hit the steps immediately, his timing is impeccable, and his cool/gormless expression fit the bill. It takes alot for me not to watch Aliona dancing, but I spent the entire routine watching Jay and he was foot perfect. So pleased that the non technique of others is being exposed.

    May I send this open letter?…….Dear Aliona, you know I love you, especially your pursed lips when Claude said last week that Peter was top of the Leaderboard and you were dying to interject, “not this week, my Waltz is top”, but held back? Please show that restraint with your future choreo and give Jay every chance to shine minus too much contempoballroom, and just work on his facials. Maybe not telling him he’s ” MASSIVE” will help his confidence? Love xxxx

    Exciting times ahead!

    I’m glad Anton spoke up, it was obvious the Judges knew where the fault lay but couldn’t bring themselves to wag their fingers at him, so slammed Katie, who showed she could cope with the Cha Cha technique, so only he knows what that routine was about. Coasting? He’s not used to coming up with the goods week after week, so hope he’s learnt his lesson.

    Jezza outdanced Kazza in that sedate Charleston, and why does she always go mad for food? She did that popcorn stunt last year and also shoved bananas in her gob after the fruity Samba with Dave. Sadly middle class of Tunbridge Wells who is Jezza’s natural voter may not like bad manners.

    I finally got the Glebular fuss! Clean shaven Gleb was uber pretty. No more stubble.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I thought Anton acting like the judges were blaming Katie when it was perfectly clear they were blaming him was the neatest part of the whole faux-chivalry bit. Every single one of them said “content” – it was pretty obvious.

  13. Sue Howarth

    Ok so Aliona in a black bob wig is sending me so far over my spectrum I cannot watch. Well I have watched it 4 times but that’s between me and my conscience. Apparently Jay was dancing as well and was quite good. It might be a good idea to introduce Jay’s mum to Judy Murray to learn how to handle these things

  14. Lesley Rigg

    Andre – “panto”
    Vine – “joyously mental”, and bear in mind I’m not mad keen on his presenting persona as I turn R2 off at 12 every day because his interviewing style drives me nuts goading the mad people on his talkie show!
    Rani – I enjoyed it much more than the judges, and I finally realised that Gleb is pretty (amazing what a shave can do!).
    O’Donnell – my fast forward of the week – terrifying….
    Jay – love his mum!! Oh and the dancing was alright too

    1. Agrippina

      O’Donnell – was it me, or did he get Danny Zuko mixed up with The Fonz, with that combing thing?

      Yes, I always switch over from Radio 2 at midday too. Can’t bear it. He’s so needlessly antagonistic all the time.

      1. Lesley Rigg

        Oh yeah, i’d be weeping too, but my son would probably have got a restraining order out on me and had me banned from the studio!!

        I know, it’s nearly always mad people they are stirring up on Jezza’s show, who should have access to their phones taken away for their own safety….I love the way Jezza looks at Tim with a strange mixture of pride and fear…

  15. Agrippina

    I think Ainsley’s routine would have been much improved if Natalie had dressed as an egg and he’d just shuffled around the floor for 90 seconds with her balanced on his feet.

    I never, ever want to see a Gleb Special ever again. Poor Mrs Gleb. I still love Anita, though.

    Agree with the general tone of the comments about Giovanni. Perhaps if he’d been paired with a comedy contestant he might have laid off all the “I’ma so sexy” stuff and been more likeable, like Aljaz was when he got put with Alison last year.

    Peter Andre was bloody awful. No getting around it. Not sure why the judges are still desperately trying to keep him at the top of the leader board.

    1. Lesley Rigg

      He’s reasonably tall isn’t he Giovanni? I think we let Vincent get away with it because he was diminutive and we took the “sexy” stuff with a large pinch of salt as it was fairly obviously tongue in cheek (or was that just me?)

  16. Huriye

    I forgot to say, Aljaz as Tony Curtis as Cary Grant was MEGA BRILLIANT AND SEXY!!!!!! ❤ ❤

    Such a glint in his eye. 😉
    No, Monkseal, he hasn't gawn back to StepfordAljaz at all! 😀

  17. catherinehirst

    Oh my word, but that JIVE! I’ve now watched it half a dozen times, and it puts me in mind of that fabulous Pasha/Katya jive to Caro Emerald a few years back, which I rewatch regularly. But the difference is, that was two pros, so you can almost understand how they can dance at such an incredible rate of speed with such accuracy. But Jay is not a pro (other than LOLRINGAH his previous dance training) and he was absolutely perfect on every step, in sync with Aliona (who deserves every smug expression she makes from now til the end of this series, god I love her), and just pure joy to watch. When the dance is so good that you have no fear for the celeb but just sit back and watch with pleasure, you know it’s ICONIC (drink).


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