It’s Movie Week, and the gap between the Haves And The Have-Nots is starting to crack out wider than the Grand Canyon at the end of Thelma & Louise, as the RINGAH front-runner pack shake off their nerves, warm up their creaking old stage school bones, and finally book an appointment to see a therapist for their crippling and hystercal darceyphilia, and so start to leave our poor benighted normals staring in confusion on the other side of the gap, dressed up forlornly as penguins (Ainsley), Liberace-esque Danny Zukos (Daniel), and…I think they were supposed to be dogs? (Kirsty)
Leading the revved-up charge into the great beyond are Jay & Aliona doing a Pulp Fiction themed jive and pulling off the very smart move of totally kidding around in the intro aping the movie choreography, then stealth-kidding-around with a decent if not blowaway middle section, before SLAMMING IT INTO WARP for a jaw-dropping grand finale. Seriously Aliona, I underestimated you. *bows* Just about hanging on to their rear bumper are Helen, who goes out onto the floor channelling Marilyn Monroe like a provincial Tennessee gayboy at his first drag night, bless her, and Kellie who gets pulled along in Kevin living out his sweaty-palmed teenage fantasies of being a Jedi in a Charleston themed around Star Wars that didn’t go nearly over the top enough for my liking. I wanted Greedo, I wanted Chewie, I wanted Craig as Darth Vader, I WANTED THE MAN IN A HAT AS AN EWOK! Oh and if you want the debate settled, looking at Kevin’s face, he shot first (yes I am scribbling down all my jokes for this here as you for some reason voted these two out of the recap over…several more obvious options).
Peeling back from the propah frontrunners like flying suitcases out the trunk of that Thunderbird convertible, for a variety of reasons, mostly choreographical, are Anita (whose lack of refinement and training does start to show a little in a truly phantasmagorical Ghost themed American Smooth that includes something called The Gleb Special which WE WILL GET TO IN THE FULL RECAP YES WE WILL), Katie (the usual Anton Party Latin issues, which he gets very speechy about as her eyes wander around wondering where her next Martini’s coming from), and Georgia. The latter’s Bond themed rumba (GOD NO MORE BOND THEMED DANCES PLEASE) is basically a bunch of bum wiggles and…more bum wiggles, and prompts Len’s annual “let’s have a weird old man strop with a newbie to break them in” of the series. Giovanni looks devastated bless him. It’s the first time all series I’ve liked him/not wanted to push him down a well. We’re also “treated” to Peter Andre doing more pop music video dancing this time dressed as a pirate but to be honest Peter’s participation in the show feels like it happening in a parallel universe on another planet 250 years into the future so who even knows any more? He feels a bit like how they’ve started having random guest music acts on the end of Pointless now.
Back on the sidelines Jamelia’s Charlie’s Angels Disco salsa gets pity points for her being fresh off a dance-off despite the fact she knows about 25% of the routine and Tristan actually has to DRAG HER INTO POSITION BY THE HAIR and Jeremy doing a Top Hat themed Charleston(ish) gets pity points for…being Jeremy (the judges being 100% inconsistant with when that’s going to happen at all times) but otherwise? Raw liquid carnage. As well as the three couples I mentioned at the top of the recap who were swamped by theming, Anthony’s arm continues to be an issue, no matter how much Oti is now working to actively keep its brokenness out of view of camera, and his paso doble comes across like someone doing karate in their backyard in a send-in from You’ve Been Framed circa 1999, and Carol…well she’s still not a dancer bless her.
For second/third place by the looks of it.