Strictly Come Dancing 13 – The Manly Men

All 7 Strictly men of 2015 present and mostly correct.

Jeremy Vine : OK, let’s try to get through this without being inevitably diverted into paragraph after paragraph of discussion as to which of the Eggheads should do the show (the answer is CLEARLY either “nobody but Judith” or “anybody but CJ” but I guess you can have a poll about it in the Launch Show recap if you must). A nice, comfortable, Heartland BBC choice to lure back the million or so put off by last year’s ITV2 friendly line-up, before we inevitably get blasted in the face with Peter Andre, Jamelia, and the entire cast of Ex On The Beach later on next week, Jeremy Vine is the host of Eggheads, Points Of View, and the Radio 2 lunchtime show. He’s also gangly, awkward, 50 years old, and over 6ft tall, a combination of which facts have led a nation of Natalie Lowe stans to frantically add more imaginary inches to Otlile Mabuse than you get from a whole flotilla of Grindr profiles (“SHE’S CLEARLY AT LEAST 5FT 11, SHE’S CROUCHING IN ALL THE REHEARSAL PICTURES, YOU’LL SEE”) to try to keep her safe from another year of middling dufferdom. Personally I don’t hold out much hope for his making the show watchable from a dance perspective (although if Tess is having trouble padding the show with meaningless waffle to run to time, he’s got form) but based on a cursory glance at his pre-show interviews I’ve already seen him reference two of Strictly’s greatest moments (Sergeant’s epic resignation press conference/personality cult meeting and Natalie Gumede touching the divine) so at least we might have a Superfan with a bit of taste and decorum this year rather than a weepy needy desperado. Although if he wants to be that as well, I’m all for it.

Ainsley Harriott : Another solid BBC heartland choice here, especially for those of us who were students in the 90s or early 00s, as Ainsley reigned goggle-eyed and supreme over daytime alongside Suzie Salt, Percy Pepper, Carlotta Cumin, Petunia P. Parsley, FiFi O’Fennel, and a variety of other condiment themed drag queens probably I don’t know. This terrifying array of imaginary friends were in charge of both Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook and Ready Steady Cook, two cookery competition formats between which there were definitely differences, even if I can’t remember what they are. Sadly to every epoch of daytime filler there is a turn, and Ainsley was left behind by the transition from watching people who can’t cook being ordered to very slowly chop carrots by Kevin Woodford to antiquing rubbish, forced to spend his dotage shilling couscous in Sainsburys. BUT NOW HE’S BACK! AND ON STRICTLY! With two distinct advantages. First of all as a calypso musician and…you know… black man, if Ainsley isn’t praised every single week for his “natural rhythm” I will pay you £10. Secondly his entire presenting career has basically been one long gurning campy innuendo filled run-up for a leap at Charleston. If he doesn’t make it to Wembley at the very least I’ll be very surprised.

Peter Andre : So yes, today, like his ex wife’s boob implants or Gareth Gates upon first impact with his ex wife’s boob implants, Peter Andre leaked out early. Some poor BBC tech intern put some copy up on the website before they were supposed to, and now everyone knows he’s doing Strictly. You know…more than we already did before, when he spent the last three months going “WHAT DO YOU MEAN AM I DOING STRICTLY I’M NOT DOING STRICTLY I’VE NOT EVEN BEEN ASKED WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT WINK WINK”. So I’m writing up his preview ahead of his official release. If it turns out to be a hoax, we can always pretend this didn’t happen. And, to be honest, even if it doesn’t. Such a sloppy opening only fits Peter Andre too well, as the foghorn breaking the lovely tranquility of what has so far mostly been a lovely BBC Heartland line-up. I’ve seen people claiming that hiring Peter is “scraping the depths of the z-list bucket”, which is both an unkind thing to call Katie Price, and also not true. Peter Andre is in fact what has floated to the TOP of the z-list bucket. That’s right, the cream! Three number 1 singles ; 6 top 10s ; a number 1 album ; a spot on every schoolgirl’s desk-lid in the 90s, in that picture where his glistening wet torso had the same texture that chicken breasts have when you tip them out the moulded plastic tub ; and of course most importantly a television empire. Peter Andre has had more ITV shows devoted to him than any other human being FACT! When Jordan Met Peter, Jordan & Peter : Marriage & Mayhem ; Katie & Peter : African Adventures ; Katie & Peter : Back In The Habit ;  Katie & Peter : Let’s Get Silly ; Jordan & Katie : A Conversation With Myself ; Katie & Peter : A Two State Solution ;  Peter Andre – Dancing By Myself ; Peter Andre : LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME OR I’LL DIE and my own personal favourite Katie & Peter : Katie Won’t Do Anal For A Month Because Pete Forgot To Renew The Sky Subscription, The Nob. Harrowing scenes. So even if you’re going to be a crashing snob about his participation, let’s all at least admit that if
Strictly is going to cast this type, they’ve hit on its purest embodiment.

Daniel O’Donnell : The first of hopefully many Strictly contestants whose name sounds a bit like a judge on the Voice (Thomas Jane, Juicy J, Lita Ford, Prince…), Daniel O’Donnell has entered into this field at exactly the right point. As the reveals have gone by the cast has become, as a body, steadily more MOR, middle-aged and cheesy. And now BAM, right at the halfway point we hit the zenith, the peak. The Grand Fromage, the Sultan of Stilton, the Prince of Paneer, the Raja of Reblochon, the Capo De Tutti Camemberts. Ireland’s answer to Cliff Richard, a good Christian singer of songs about Jesus and innocent childhood crushes and candy floss and bunnies and yer mammy pegging out the washing, Daniel promises to swamp the entire course of this series with a flood of his fanbase – slightly infirm old ladies who smell faintly of pot pourri and talc and lose control of their already fading cognitive functions at the sight of a Nice Well-Dressed Young Man. Well I guess if they can’t wield their influence from behind the judging desk any more (not since Series 7 anyway) it’s only fair. Personally I’m incredibly excited by the arrival of Daniel, because he’s such an exquisitely naff fluffy jumper of a man, all twinkly eyes and handclaps and “c’mon!”s and utter sincerity that I just can’t wait to see him and Peter Andre have a FACE-OFF to show us all which generation does schmaltz better (spoiler : it’s Daniel’s). Now some of you apparently think Daniel might struggle doing the latin dances due to an inability to tap into his sexy side. To which people I say, “FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS AND WEEP!”. No really.

Anthony Ogogo : After driving them to the edge of sanity, forcing them all to ponder whether the producers really had decided to do an ENTIRE SERIES of middle-aged men and that one girl from Corrie you’ve never heard of, the show decided to throw a bone (…) to the salivating hoardes of the Internet and reveal that Anthony Ogogo, Olympic Bronze Medallist, Big Brother 4th placer, Retiree from Tom Daley’s Celebrity Splash, and above all, possessor of a sensitive mouf, will be taking part in this year’s Strictly. Young, athletic, and not uncomely if you’re into that sort of thing I guess, Anthony sadly has a couple of major hurdles between him and the glitterball. Firstly he’s a boxer, and Joe Calzaghe, Audley Harrison and Evander Holyfield (lol remember that Christmas Special?) before him have shown that skill in the ring doesn’t necessarily translate to skill on the dancefloor (a fact also shown by previous contestants Ma[DON’T EVEN GO THERE – Monkseal’s Lawyers]. Secondly, he has apparently decided that Strictly will be a great thing to do whilst recuperating from a major shoulder injury. Two words Anthony… Jade Johnson. I know everyone wants to forget Series 7, but when this ends up with you collapsed on the floor mid-cha-cha clutching at your arm as it slides entirely out of its socket, whilst Tess walks around going “OH NO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN” and looking frantically around for a competent person to come and do something, don’t come crying to me. Also from what I remember of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, he was a bit of a nob. Admittedly a bit of a nob by the standards of that increibly benign series (it was cast entirely of bright shiny young people who were selected because of their prodigious gifts in certain disciplines) (of course it was still Big Brother, so amongst the disciplines were “modelling” and “doing a circus act in your pants”) not the screeching, hissing, spitting standards of the show toay. And he was young. Maybe he’s grown… Not just like that ladies, calm down.

Jay McGuiness : As the slowly dying dinosaur mass of One Direction sinks gently into the tar pit of history, so their erstwhile arch-nemeses swoop in from the shadows like jackals to pick over the bones and try to fill the vaccuum. (I know, I know, a feud between One Direction and The Wanted how butch). Max had his starring role in Glee and somehow being first boot on Bear Gryllls : Mission Survive ahead of Jamelia (JAMELIA!), Tom had his 6th place showing on Celebrity Masterchef, Nathan has his solo career that will wind up inevitably being one single long and Siva has…being really really ridiculously good looking I guess? Anyway now, Jay McGuiness, the FORGOTTEN WANTED, so forgotten that he’s obviously hoping nobody checks up on his apparently extensive CV of contemporary dance (ie he went to a dance-leaning stage school for a bit) (it’s alright Jay, you’re a bloke, it won’t count against you), to appear as a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing. Combined, their efforts to steal the spotlight whilst One Direction are “on hiatus” (ie trying to sabotage one another’s solo careers) will no doubt combine to bring The Wanted back up to a combined total level of fame…somewhere around Niall’s maybe? (For reference for all those One Direction fans in denial, “The Wanted” are also currently “on hiatus” by the way) Jay’s role in The Wanted was, as far as I can tell, to be the rough one who always looked a bit drunk, with curly hair. Bodes well.

Iwan Thomas : It’s odd ; 6 or 7 years ago Iwan Thomas, with his stints on Celebrity Masterchef, Deadline, Superstars, Hole In The Wall and Total Wipeout, felt like a total reality tv gameshow whore but looking back at his resume now, at the reveal what feels like an inevitable stint on Strictly, he looks positively innocent in comparison to some. Anyway, back before he was beating Dom Joly, Yvette Fielding and Ingrid Tarrant at writing a pretend celebrity magazine for Janet Street Porter, Iwan Thomas was notionally a 400m runner for Wales and the United Kingdom, winning gold medals at the World, Commonwealth and European Championships but sadly never the Olympics, making him very much the Mark Foster of Strictly 2015. If only Hayley Holt! was still here to help him learn how to slam it the left and shake it to the right. Iwan’s day job now is now being an over-enthusiastic roving reporter for The One Show producing hard-hitting exposes about ducks, how you get fewer Haribos in a packet these days than you used to, and a new pop-up Thai food chain in Swansea. Amongst other things. Actually it feels odd to have a retired sports star who already has an established presenting career amongst the cast rather than one who’s just looking for one. Why is he even here? To learn to dance? In 2015?

And my suggested pro-celebrity aportionings :

Ainsley & Ola
Anthony & Janette
Daniel & Kristina
Iwan & Aliona
Jay & Natalie
Jeremy & Karen
Peter & Otlile


69 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 13 – The Manly Men

  1. Beyonce Castle

    In fairness, and fair enough I am the right demographic, he is extremely well known to listeners of radio 2. 😉
    Just as long as we do not have any Touching Jed’s Vine moments I think we’ll be all right. Reckon he will be a week 4 boot.

  2. Madmags

    It’s not Otile, she’s not Irish. It’s Otlile. Are you modelling yourself on Tess? 🙂

    I like Jeremy Vine. I recognise both his name and face which is highly unusual for me.

  3. Huriye

    I’d much rather have Tim Vine, who at least would be amusing rather than irritating if he couldn’t dance.
    I was over Jezza’s bad Magnus Pike gangly leg stepping impression looong ago.
    A bonus was discovering he’s married to the aloof BBC News Channel’s Rachel Schofield. Would rather have her, she’d look good in a frock.

  4. Beyonce Castle

    Me too, but he is less popular on DS for some reason. Saw him at Edinburgh Fringe a few years back and loved his show but you need to love puns. Not sure how well he comes across on the telly, he went out of Fame Academy in week 4 but was a nifty little dancer two years ago on comic relief let’s dance…his Justin Timberlake is on the tubeofyou. Who knows, maybe they asked him first and he said, ask Jeremy instead. My wiki sources tell me bkth were in a band so maybe Jeremy’s rhythm might be better than anticipated.

    1. Huriye

      Tim’s Justin Timberlake was awesome! 😀

      Well so far 2 BBC stalwarts, and I’m underwhelmed.
      Except for being relieved that Dame Natalie won’t be getting gangly Jezza.
      We just KNOW the producers will give Ainsley to Otlile.

      1. monkseal Post author

        Natalie’s definitely got one or the other, let’s just all give up on her ever winning and move on with our lives.

    2. monkseal Post author

      To be fair, Tim Vine went out of Celebrity Fame Academy doing an incredibly sweaty performance of a Lene Lovich novelty song whilst doing interpretive dance, which is how I would be eliminated from every reality show I ever particpated in, up to and including The Apprentice, so kudos to him.

      1. Huriye

        Lene Lovich!!!!!!!!!<3 ❤ ❤
        Saw her in concert at the Lyceum, circa 1980, was fab! The Bodysnatchers were on the same bill. 😀

        My fave moment of Ainsley's days on Ready Steady Cook – as unlike Fern who just presented, he got his hands dirty and mucked in a bit…..or rather interfered….was when he stirred Irish chef Paul Rankin's pot without invitation, who lashed out telling Ainsley he'd ruined his dish, forgetting temporarily he was on a silly TV show, and not in his own kitchen shouting at his downtrodden Commie chef. :O Ainsley was so affronted, he continued for the rest of the show making pursed lips of indignation whenever he had to talk to Paul about his dish. It was classic awkward TV.

        Beyonce, I'm sure your dream will become reality, and Otlile will definitely get Ainsley, and he really will have rhythm – unlike Colin Salmon who was stiff as a board. Whether he wins or not will depend on how the public take to them as a couple, irrespective of the dancing. This is the GBP after all. Remember Natalie & Ricky?

  5. Beyonce Castle

    Oh but I like Ainsley, what’s to say he doesn’t make it to the final? He can dance, well, I seem to remember him stripping once (in my defence my kid used to love Children in need when she was little). Having not been in the UK now for so long, I had forgotten about him entirely. But used to love ready, steady cook ( or as the charidee leave your hat on routine went, ready steady cock).
    Hope he does well. They must have some cooking tunes left seeing as Greg left so early.
    Hey good lookin’ etc
    Natalie is people’s champion, does that not count? S’pose it is like a Xmas special compensation prize.
    Monkseal I am so not taking that bet. Bloody wish they’d have Reginald D Hunter on the show. He would go to town on that. They wouldn’t dare.
    Huriye did you mean Ainsley definitely won’t be put with Otlile? Because she’s only 170cm? (5 foot 7). Am sure Xtina amongst others have got the tall guys, she was partnered with Colin Salmon. Unless they decide not to put a black sleb with a black pro, but wouldn’t that be racist?

    1. Beyonce Castle

      Feck me, it was 1997 and my kid wasn’t born then when Ainsley’s red thong was imprinted in my brain. I have no excuse.

      1. Beyonce Castle

        And I am also being dim as 5 foot 7 makes Otlile second tallest(?)
        She is latin queen. Ainsley gives good hips. I want them together. Doing a salsa/samba to Balado boa.
        Please make this happen.

  6. Beyonce Castle

    I wish I could find that clip. Tim Vine Live dvd he is very sweaty, Luther Vandross sweaty, broadcast news sweaty, but that would add to his charm, surely?!

    I found Ainsley in the 1997 strip routine (youtube top ten moments of children in need, they were no. 6) . Okay the guy was only 40 at the time but Oh. My. God. he brought it.
    So…Ainsley in the final. With Otlile would be fabulous, but will take Nat.

  7. Dancing cake

    What height is Peter Andre? (Genuine question, I’ve no idea.) If he’s tall enough to be put with Natalie they could have a good chance of winning – Nat’s fans and the ovary voters are probably quite different, so that would add up to a LOT of votes between them. (Oh, assuming he can dance of course. Then again – Chris Hollins … )

    1. Huriye

      Google says 1.74m which is between 5ft.8 – 9″. Borderline for Natalie, who would be taller in heels, but wouldn’t put it past the producers.

  8. Beyonce Castle

    No. No.No. (imagine Ben Kingsley here) No. No. No.
    Not Peter really loves his kids Andre. No.
    I will sound the Orange Klaxon at Mumsnet.
    He can’t do Strictly. His VTs will make me throw up in my mouth.
    He ‘s just there to flog his febreze perfume and his new album whilst talking about how much he loves mini me and Bisto. No. No.No. Plus he already wears fake bake, he’s gonna be mahogany.
    I like Natalie. I have ovaries. But St Peter of Andre? No.
    Not unless Monkseal promises to roast him every week at every opportunity.

  9. Seronie

    I hope they’re not front loading the slebs or we’re in trouble.

    Peter Andre would remind me of Donovan. The aussie, not the folk legend. They’re both antipodean and can both bore at considerable length.

    Ainsley Harriot is awesome. Can’t wait for the faces. I hope he’s Mad Ainsley and not some old earnest version. That won’t do!

  10. Beyonce Castle

    So…the Gods of Strictly decided the Borange one would be a good signing. I am going to be very very drunk. My Strictly bingo card including love of Bisto and the other two, CAN associates being “supportive” in the audience, new album (Pixie Lott levels of busy), fakiest bakiest ronseal and dedications to Embolism/brother/babbies.
    Music list to include Rock Lobster, Oranges don’t dance, You’re so vain and Rat in me kitchen.
    (these are the jokes folks). 😉

    1. Huriye

      The next announcement is on BBC Breakfast tomorrow. I haven’t heard anything about the above. Are you being anti-Greek Cypriot? Hopa!

      1. Beyonce Castle

        Not at all. Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou for example can do no wrong in my eyes. I had quite hoped his ex boyband partner would do Strictly. Mr Andrea, on the other hand, is a hypocrite who pimps out his kids at every opportunity. Tis pity he’s a (media) whore. That said, the tangerine Lord is the Gift that keeps on Giving when it comes to taking the piss. Whether it’s flogging his latest scent or bringing women out of comas, Petey is reliably cheesey and reliably orange.
        I am, despite my protestations, delighted he will be donning the sequins. I intend getting drunk every Saturday from September to Xmas. Yamas! 🙂

      1. Huriye

        Andrex & Gaga, you know it makes sense!

        Sack the website intern!

        My fave ITV telly thing he did was when This Morning made him their Hospital Reporter….LIVE! Those were very searching questions to busy Consultants. Tom Bradby move over.

        As long as he doesn’t get the other Aussie. I have a feeling he’ll be matched with Aliona (height and colour wise, as Beyonce describes it, tangerine).

        The thing is, disgusted of Strictly past, just like Mark last year, he will prove popular with some of the audience, hence his hiring. Think I’ll continue avoiding DS forum though, for now.

  11. missfrankiecat

    I can already see Claudia taking the p*ss out of Andre. Can hardly wait. I further suspect he might actually be ok at the dancing.

      1. monkseal Post author

        A boy as in “last year someone who was born in 1996 won the Swedish version” young? Because I just found that out and I’m still depressed.

  12. Beyonce Castle

    So, who is going to get Daniel O’Donnell then? That is an interesting one. On the one hand, he has Duffer written all over him. On the other hand, he has a massive fanbase. If they can get to vote over tinternet, (don’t think you can vote from Ireland) then he is going to go a long way. He is the Irish Cliff Richard ( but doesn’t f- Joke removed for legal reasons). So, as a Pro, would you prefer an Early Boot Who Had Talent or a Late Boot Who Doesn’t? He is married and wholesome so really cannot see him with Kristina (would love her to be with Paul Hollywood but don’t think he’s in it sadly). Not unless producers are trying to help Kristina not be a First Boot.
    Jo deserves someone good, not Scott the second. Ola’s got her eyes on the tangerine Lord of the Dance, but will she be punished for the Jump debacle/appeased for the bullying allegations.
    So…I guess Daniel O’D could go with Karen??
    Monkseal, I know you’re good with stats…how popular with viewers would you rate the current pros? Ola>Aliona>Otlile(unknown quantity). Do you think the Pros have an equal or greater influence than the celebs these days or is that just DWTS? Do the Producers care about adverse publicity as long as it is publicity? (Why did Robin get fired? Was it always on the cards or because of the indiscreet interview? Was Giovanni brought in only cos he partners Joanne?
    Since when is Tyger Drew-Honey’s Dad Ben Dover?) I know nothing about anything anymore.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Roughly in order of name recognition :

      Ola – the sexy one
      Kristina – the controversial one
      Natalie – the talented one
      Aliona – the one who always gets crap people
      Karen – Kevin’s girlfriend
      Joanne – Kevin’s sister
      Janette – Who?
      Otlile – Double Who?

      Would be my guess, currently, and that’d be picking from the more savvy end of the general public. I really don’t think it registers for a lot of people, as a short lifetime of overhearing conversations at live shows tells me. Janette will probably get a profile boost from her engagement to Aljaz (who is the new Sexy Male One) (although still only 1 person in about 17 gets his name right) this year.

      I think the pros have less influence than they do in the old days, mostly because of the rise of props/theming, a lot of which is clearly pushed on them by producers, although I’ve always though the degree of autonomy in previous series was overstated. The producers care about publicity as long as it doesn’t harm the brand *too* much – romances great, extra-marital affairs fine so long as we can present it as saucy, extra-marital affairs when there are kids involved not fine. You know, a hypothetical sliding scale like that. I would guess Robin was shoved out because of a combination of factors – Gleb and Giovanni are prettier, and not so injury-prone, and younger, and by the looks of it, both straight. Also Robin’s only real strong connection to the rest of the cast appears to be Kristina, especially after Artem left, so he was easily lifted out without ruffling too many feathers. I doubt they cared over much about the interview – it was pretty benign other than the Ola/James stuff and only about 100 people were even aware of it. It didn’t get picked up by the MSM at all. Ben Dover has been Tyger Drew-Honey’s dad since he was born or since he was conceived idk I’m not Catholic.

      Hope that clears everything up.

      1. Beyonce Castle

        Thank you. Poor Robin. He didn’t even get a thank you. Gleb is married but they’ll keep that quiet like Trent last year. Giovanni dunno, showmance with Georgia maybe.

    2. Laura

      Depending how tall he is (internet doesn’t say), I reckon Janette – she did well last year and she’s taller than Karen. Or Otlile, in a ‘give the new pro the duffer’ fashion. If he’s really tall though maybe Natalie, who might ‘do a Vaughan’ and drag any dance talent out of him.

      Part of me wants him to get Aliona though, who would probably quit on the spot.

      1. Huriye

        To the naked eye, minus stats, Janette looks about 5ft, and Karen about 5ft 5…?

        But don’t trust me, I’m a Moorfield’s patient.

    3. Dancing cake

      I was thinking they WILL put Daniel with Kristina for exactly the reasons you gave!
      Apparently loads of his Irish fans who live near the border are planning to skip over to Northern Ireland every weekend to vote. I had no idea till now what a massive fan base he has. Irish Cliff Richard indeed.
      Just please don’t ever let Cliff get it into his head to do Strictly. God knows I’ve watched some hide-behind-a-cushion levels of cringeworthy contestants, but I don’t know if I could actually watch Cliff Richard doing Latin. They’d have to pair him up with Anton…

  13. Huriye

    Gawd! Donald O’Daniel (as Clive Bull used to call him). Are we going to get an actual big name this year, or was this it? I presume he’s going to train in Ireland, so I bet they’ll pair him with Kristina to shove her out of harm’s way.

    Frankly, Katie is the only contestant named so far who excites me.

    Surely there’s some other young ‘uns to be announced? It is all a bit MOR at the mo.

  14. Huriye

    Anthony Ogogo just said on TalkSport that he has an injured shoulder so won’t be able to do lifts till much further in the competition, which he’s anticipating making, having quoted Floyd Mayweather on DWTS. Let’s hope he doesn’t get lumbered with an AS or Charleston early doors then. And they don’t revive Rock ‘N Roll. He also slammed Boxing fans for slamming him “wanting to be a sleb” and says he’s very much a boxer, just raising his profile (getting paid) and getting fit.

    So that’s all good then. Move over Ainsley, bet it’s Otlile for Ogogo.

  15. Matt Clemson

    Oh Monkseal, somewhere out there Barry McGuigan is staring at his computer screen yelling HOLYFIELD? HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER HOLYFIELD AND NOT ME?!? Maybe he sheds a silent tear; the forgotten Strictly boxer.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I’m amazed you expected me to be paying attention to anybody else on a show with Su Pollard on it. Also if he’s that upset he needs to get his agent to update his wikipedia page.

  16. Huriye

    BTW I definitely thought this year’s ‘Sportsman’ would be former Cricketer Graham Swann, based on what he said on Test Match Special (which I know Monkseal listens to avidly) joking about having 2 left feet. So I think he was asked and turned it down. He would’ve been more of a Tuffers type humorous character rather than a looker.

  17. Neio

    Hopefully now that Bruce is gone, we won’t have a presenter encouraging the boxer contestant to queer-bash the gay judge like he always used to.

    Anthony Ogogo isn’t that bad a choice I guess, but if we were going for London 2012 Olympians, I’d rather have seen Michael Jamieson or Robbie Grabarz I think. Or Greg Rutherford of course! [swoons]

      1. Neio

        Will you be recapping Time Crashers? Greg’s one of the participants in that. It’s quite entertaining – this week they were Elizabethan house servants. I never thought I’d hear the words ‘Greg Rutherford’ and ‘spit-roasting’ in the same sentence on TV before watching that!

  18. Beyonce Castle

    The only Wanted song I know 😉 (they weren’t very big in Germany). So Jay now becomes my second favourite male after Ainsley, because of the little jig he does with Diego in the video. If he can dance next to an invisible sabre toothed tiger then he can dance. Plus he’s from Newark. He’s done very well 😉
    Lose the beard, Banderas hairslick and bring back the curls though. Curls, not waves
    wavy hair+beard = Benny from Abba Jay, curls is more of a Lee Mead Jay.

  19. Seronie

    Jay’s signing shrinks our chances of WESTLIFE SHANE being cast, so woe.

    However he is incredibly broke, so there’s hope!

    1. monkseal Post author

      I really can’t see there being yet another pop star in the cast or at least I hope to God not.

  20. camis71

    Please let Natalie get Jay, please let Natalie get Jay – repeat ad nauseum. Failing Jay, can she please have Iwan as I’ve had a bit of a thing for him since his athletics days and my ovaries could possibly be persuaded to throw a few votes in his direction.

  21. Seth

    The producers shouldn’t even consider putting Natalie with anyone other than Jay or Iwan, not sure who I would prefer though. Jay’s probably the better dancer so would be her best shot at winning, but I think Natalie would get more out of Iwan than any of the other pros would, and that would make for a more interesting partnership.

  22. Huriye

    I wouldn’t mind living in Iwan’s amazing house whilst he’s training in London for Strictly. Can I house sit Iwan?

    Not that bothered by any of the male contestants really, but I think it’ll be nice exposure for Ainsley and his career. Your pairings are interesting Monkseal, but I only agree with Daniel & Kristina.

  23. Fenweasel

    No obvious comedy candidates this year – no comedy tubbie, comedy gay, or comedy pensioner. On the one hand, being spared weeks (or even just hours) of Tony Jacklin/Russell/Julien/ Ann Widdecombe is an unexpexcted bonus, but on the other everyone looks very MoR, and very same-y. I’m hoping that there’s some high grade insanity lurking under the bland exteriors.

    I’m also hoping that everyone will call Ola by her surname all the time, just to see Peter Andre flinch

  24. Huriye

    Lololol!!!! Just had to copy and paste this comment under! Michael Hogan’s Strictly article today:

    7 hours ago
    Yet more dross aimed at women and kids. If you’re a straight white bloke you might as well not watch the BBC.

    😀 😀 😀

    1. Martin

      Surely Forestforever would have been watching the athletics and the rugby… unless he’s out in his white van (just to keep the stereotypical views going)! lol


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