RuPaul’s Drag Race 7 – Monkies

Yet more meaningless sideshow awards for Katya!

Best Regular Judge

Whether it was recognition of the fact that she’s the only judge they have who even really criticises people any more, or you all collectively giving her a pat on the back and a sympathetic nod for being taken in by Katie Hopkins on Celebrity Big Brother, or it’s just for the tits, Michelle is your favourite Drag Race regular, scoring 44% of the popular vote. Elsewhere in the category, Ru has to settle for THIRD, and Carson scores a hard 0, as not one single person voted him as their favourite. He may LOVE THE MINJ but you sure don’t love him.

  • 2nd – Ross Matthews : 29%
  • 3rd – RuPaul : 27%
  • 4th – Carson Kressley : 0%

Best Guest Judge

I mean of course it is, it’s JOHN WATERS. Tamar Braxton might have made more of an impact, Mel B might have given us perfect Geri Halliwell shade, Merle and Santino might have been a welcome reminder of older, better, times, and Lucian Piane might be FILT, but it’s JOHN WATERS, of course he was the best guest judge of the seasson, especially as he brought Edith Massey with him…………FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. 46% of you voted for the Pope Of Filth as one of your favourites.

  • 2nd – Tamar Braxton : 36%
  • 3rd – Santino Rice : 29%
  • 4th – Merle Ginsberg : 27%
  • 5th – Mel B : 26%

Best Mini-Challenge

It just goes to show what you can do with a roll of Sellotape and too much make-up. This tribute to the Real Housewaves won 38% of your votes for the best irrelevant random mini challenge of the season. Now do a lip-sync to Chic, C’est La Vie, and we’re good. (Apart from those of you who voted for that weak-ass Reading Challenge, y’all need Jesus)

  • 2nd – PUPPETS! : 20%
  • 3rd – Fashion Show : 11%
  • 4th – The Library : 8%
  • 5th – Monster In My Pants : 7%

Best Main Challenge

I guess it’s a perenial favourite for a reason. 51% of you voted in favour of the comedy stylings of Little Richard, Big Ang, Even Bigger Adele, and So Big I’ve Barely Even Heard Of Her Suze. Less so Donatella Versace. It was otherwise a strong showing for the second half of the season, with only Glamazonian Airways even making a slight impact from the first month or so. A lack of early momentum really can stall a season, I guess.

  • 2nd – Conjoined Twins : 41%
  • 3rd – Prancing With The Queens : 27%
  • 4th – Glamazonian Airways : 26%
  • 5th – Divine Inspiration : 19%

Worst Queen (Personality)

I’ll keep this brief so that RuPaul doesn’t come for me for increasing the whirlwind of social media negativity around Jasmine, but she was your least liked queen of the season, with 38% of you proclaiming her the stankest.

  • 2nd – Kandy Ho : 36%
  • 3rd – Ginger Minj : 29%
  • 4th= Kennedy Davenport : 22%
  • 4th= Trixie Mattel : 22%

Worst Queen (Talent)

Bless. 69% of you voted for Sasha and her wide array of lobster dresses and cheap plastic toy guns and proclaimed her to have cracked the code of how she could be the worst Drag Race contestant she coould be. Now let’s find the least talented cast-member of Sasha Belle’s Drag Race and follow the rabbit hole deeper from there.

  • 2nd – Tempest DuJour : 51%
  • 3rd – Jasmine Masters : 25%
  • 4th – Kandy Ho : 17%
  • 5th – Trixie Mattel : 10%

Best Lip-Sync

For the entire season everyone spoke about Kennedy’s lip-sync abilities as though facing her in the Bottom 2 would inevitably result in INSTANT DEATH, which was slightly confusing having little evidence to go on other than her fumbling “Anita Napkin” and spinning on the spot against Jasmine Masters. So I’m glad we got to see her Roar properly one time before she left. 71% of you voted in favour of this Katy Perry number, and let’s hope that’s the last time I ever have to say that on this website.

  • 2nd – Ginger & Sasha vs Jaidynn & Tempest : I Think We’re Alone Now – 54%
  • 3rd – Katya vs Sasha : Twist Of Fate – 24%
  • 4th – Pearl vs Trixie : Dreamin – 15%
  • 5th – Ginger vs Trixie : Show Me Love – 9%

Most BS Elimination

And yet whilst 71% of you voted in favour of Kennedy’s display…still more of you (79%) had Katya’s departure at the end of the same lip-sync as the least justified of the season. Which raises the question rather of who you think should have left instead, or if you really wanted to see that Music Video challenge with 5 queens crashing ineptly round the set, but I guess the heart wants what it wants, and in this case…it wants Katya. (Or you think that Katya actually won that lip-sync in which ok you do you I guess?)

  • 2nd – Mrs Kasha Davis : 32%
  • 3rd – Max : 27%
  • 4th – Trixie Mattel : 21%
  • 5th= Kennedy Davenport : 10%
  • 5th= Miss Fame : 10%

Most Notable Quotable

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONKIE HISTORY WE HAVE A TIE! Yes the Pearldom came out of its shell to co-vote “Is There Something On My Face” and “FlaSayDah” (don’t forget that hyphen) as the most quotable moments of the season. If Pearl was sometimes surly, and sometimes seemed only borderline talented, she at least was memorable.

  • 3rd – “After a long night of hookin…”
  • 4th – The Struggle Is Real
  • 5th= No T, no shade, no pink lemonade

Best Queen (Personality)

So if I give her this, will you all stop calling her “Mom”, it’s profoundly creepy. 82% of you agreed that Katya was indeed worthy of the Miss Congeniality crown, and let us all give thanks that the pageant of RuPaul’s Drag Race can give us all a Miss Congeniality who is a foul-mouthed chain-smoking recovering meth addict on Grindr.

  • 2nd – Pearl : 28%
  • 3rd – Miss Fame : 18%
  • 4th – Jaidynn Diore Fierce : 17%
  • 5th – Mrs Kasha Davis : 15%

Best Queen (Talent)

Merry Christmas. 66% of you had Katya as your winner not just on personality, but also on talent. Just think, if only her Hello Kitty! outfit had been a little bit better she would have clearly won the entire series hands down. Just one more reason to hate that otherkin scum.

  • 2nd – Ginger Minj : 51%
  • 3rd – Violet Chachki : 47%
  • 4th – Pearl : 15%
  • 5th – Max : 6%



3 thoughts on “RuPaul’s Drag Race 7 – Monkies

  1. Rachel

    The Katya Awards! I love Katya, though, so at least even if she doesn’t have the drag race crown she’ll always have the Monkies. It also took me a very long time to figure out where the hell “Mom” came from. My predictions for this series were so far off, I was CONVINCED Sasha Belle was going to go far for some reason. I think the only thing I was accurate about was that Katya was going to be the 6th/5th placing fan fave.

    I love that Rupaul’s nemesis Pearl ended up being second for best personality ❤

    1. monkseal Post author

      Honestly I decided that my pre-series and post-series opinions were so similar that it wouldn’t be worth it. Move Jasmine and Mrs K up a bit and you’re more or less there.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.