The only two John Waters films I’ve seen all the way through are Pecker and Serial Mom so…GOOD LUCK!
1. PREVIOUSLY ON RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE
I started maybe finding Sasha Belle not unhot in a “he thought a career in library science would be fulfilling and exciting but after directing the 70th retiree to the NRA website it lost its sheen” kind of way?
2) Back in the workroom at the episode’s open, Ginger’s epic rolling meltdown over for once not being the best at something continued until a producer intervened and we
ACTUALLY GOT TO HEAR HER VOICE, MY GOD. First splashing in Pearl’s face and now getting a speaking part. They’ll be wanting their own trailers next. Also Trixie gave notice that she was officially BACK, and that what she was going to do with the opportunity she’s been given was to say “I DO deserve to be here” over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until even Phi Phi O Hara would have had to have words with her for being hyer-defensive. Whatever lady, I’ve not even put you back on my spreadsheets *accountancy z snap*. In case you needed reminding, Trixie returned to the competition because she and Pearl collaborated to produce a fun concept, and won the challenge handily. So you might think this would be an odd time for Miss Fame to come for Pearl for just coasting in the middle and not really caring. So of course she did. Oh Miss Fame. How’s your head? Apparently Pearl just picked a dress up off the rack for her and Trixie to wear and if Miss Fame did that she’d be told off for not trying and so on and so on. I swear at this point this season’s motto should be “BUT IF IT DID THAT THEN DOT DOT DOT”
3. TOP FIVE CHOICE READS FROM THIS SEASON’S VERSION OF THE ICONIC READING CHALLENGE
1) “Katya, at this point you should just make like your hairline, and recede”
2) “Pearl, now that you’ve come out of your shell, maybe you could use it as a butt-pad?”
3) “Miss Fame, you’re such a great make-up artist! I’ve never met anyone who’s able to shove their head so far up their own ass without smudging their eye-liner”
Erm…yeah. Although Ru did say that he was going to post his favourite reads on the website so maybe that’s…where…all the good ones were? Weakest Reading Challenge since Series 3 am I right? Trixie won, and received a $500 gift card for sequins. I’m guessing she won because as the tacky queen of the season she’s the only one who’ll use them? I can’t exactly see Miss Fame or Violet coming out for a club night in a Beadazzled jumpsuit. Bonus points for the challenge go to Kennedy who snorted at Miss Fame’s (admittedly awful) reads for being unfunny, then galumphed out with “TRIXIE YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A BABOON’S ASS!”
4. This week’s Main Challenge paid tribute to trash-culture icon John Waters, with queens SPLITTING INTO TEAMS (doy) and recreating scenes from his movies, in particular those featuring his most notorious cast-member. That’s right, the world finally got the tribute to “featuring Selma Blair as Ursula Udders” it’s always de…oh ok, they meant Divine. And the scenes would be musical in nature because really, what’s keeping us going through this mediocre season other than our dirty dickpig fantasies about Lucian Piane? Those of you who are apt to conspiracies can now commence ranting about how they’re only doing this challenge because Divine and Katya’s singing voices match so eerily. The queens were allowed to pick teams themselves, via process of milling about, and those Trixie fans who were put out that she didn’t get afforded the advantage that other Mini Challenge winners have got of being able to handpick who they got to work with don’t worry
she got her hands on the minj she wanted. Kennedy and Katya also hurled themselves bodily towards one-another, leaving the ashy remnants of Aryan Airlines (and good luck finding a black box amongst this lot) to wonder
just how the fuck they were going to perform together succesfully given that collectively they have the acting talent of a Britain’s Got Talent judge (YOU KNOW WHICH ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT HERE’S A CLUE SHE SOUNDS LIKE “A MAN TO HOLD ON”).
Katya’s wigs are getting less thirsty at least. She and Kennedy were charged with recreating the Cha Cha Heels scene from Female Trouble. Watching the scene, the immediate point of potential tension is obvious. Do you play Dawn Davenport, the terrifying rage monster who runs round the set screaming, throwing things, hauling down the Christmas Tree and being the focal point of drama, or do you play a composite of Dawn’s parents and snivel in a corner and get things dropped on you? You can see why both Katya and Kennedy wanted to be the centrepiece, with Kennedy ultimately winning out because her singing voice is stronger (/exists). Fortunately Katya managed to hold her own and stand out in the scene (TAKE NOTE TRIXIE MATTELL) by adding something of her own to the character as written – sloppy drunkenness. And actually in this case (if you’ll excuse the tritely offensive leap) literally of her own, given her history of addiction. It’s odd that this wasn’t commented on at all in the episode, especially given that the heartstring tugging moments have now been bled dry (SPOILERS : this week’s bonding moment was literally “neither Kennedy or Ginger have a pension plan”). Kennedy’s Dawn was strong, despite a little awkwardness, but it’s Katya spreadeagled drunkenly in the splits amidst a pile of presents
opening and closing her legs in time to the music, that I’ll take with me, and which actually might be Katya’s first legitimately great and truly memorable performance of the series.
6. Trixie and Ginger were given the Egg Lady scene from Pink Flamingos, a rare example of a scene featuring Divine where she isn’t yelling, stomping, cackling, or getting raped by a giant lobster. Very little discussion was shown as to why Ginger was playing the Egg Lady and Trixie was playing Divine but…
the episode spelled it out for us visually instead. If only Amy Winehouse were still alive, this could have been her future. As Trixie and Ginger are the two queens with the strongest theatrical backgrounds, the best voices, and amongst the most collaborative working styles of the show, their filming and indeed their whole process passed off with absolutely no drama whatsoever. Which Trixie may well regret now as Ginger stomped her into the dirt and took home the challenge win with her bravura doe-eyed, egg-smashing, performance, a win that Trixie really could have done with if she wants to make a case to even make the final (Fun Stat Fact : this season has already set the record for queens going from lip-syncing for their lives one week to then winning the challenge the next and we’re not even done yet. COME ON, COMEBACK NARRATIVES). You can’t put all the blame on Ginger’s camera-hogging(/actual-talent-having) ways though, as yet again Trixie seemed to think
painting your face funny and playing a scene straight was enough. IT’S NOT ENOUGH GIRL, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DIVINE!
7. Miss Fame, Violet, and Pearl were given the trickiest task of all this week, and not just because they were being forced to work with at least two of Miss Fame, Violet, and Pearl in a group challenge. They were tasked with recreating the poo-eating scene from Pink Flamingoes (no link provided because I don’t want this blog being shut down) and were ALL told to play Divine. And not in the “collectively their body mass may equate to one of her thighs” way – Violet played the corporeal Divine, with Miss Fame and Pearl playing respectively the devil and angel on her shoulders, alternately encouraging her and warning off eating dog shit. Inherently it’s harder to produce a coherent scene with three people than two, as shown by everyone treading all over one another’s lines and bumping into one another and I would argue (sorry Lucien) that they were given by far the worst song to sing, lacking in real dynamics and overly repetitive. The only real highlight for me was Miss Fame taking a deep breath after three weeks in a row of near misses with the Bottom 2 Bus and charging hell for leather across the highway with one of the most brazenly and bizarrely
over the top performances ever seen on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Now that’s comittment. I’m not objecting to Fame being in the Bottom 2 because Lord knows she’s been circling the drain for a while, but in John Waters week of all weeks you’d think they might give her a little more credit for going for broke. Michelle coming for her all “AS AN ACTRESS, YOUR PERFORMANCE SHOULD COME NATURALLY” was particularly galling. Bitch, nobody in a John Waters movie from the 70s was an actress, give it up.
8. The runway theme this week was a much better homage to the spirit of John Waters, with the queens asked to strut the runway in the ugliest dress they had. For such a simple concept there were quite a few biffs – Kennedy just repeated the dress she wore for the old-lady dance-off ; Pearl completely ignored the challenge and came out in a kawaii Japanese princess look that was insanely flattering to her form, especially her legs which looked amazing ; Miss Fame came out in a fumigation tent and then proceeded to make it look halfway wearable by whirling and twirling until it looked hauntingly beautiful ; Ginger wore a dress that to be honest, if you cut the pom-poms off it, she would most likely have worn any other week ; and Trixie’s prom-wear read more as
shade on 80s Madonna than anything truly awful in its own right. Katya and Violet on the other hand were stars – Violet making
Coco The Clown Rainbow-Brite skydiving chic look genuinely fashion, and Katya…
just look at it. The crochet, the colours, those buttons, THAT WIG. Really this was her week. Extra points though to Ru
just hideous. Like I want to check round the back to see if someone’s selling hemp-burgers out of her.
9. As no drama was really happening organically this episode, Ru decided to throw chum right into the water just before the end, asking the remaining queens who should be the next to leave. Cue the inevitable pile-on on Fame, who already had one foot out the door anyway. Kennedy, Ginger, Trixie, Katya, and Pearl all said that Fame should be the one packing her bags, mostly because of her weak challenge performances of late. Miss Fame clapped back at Pearl, and said that she should leave for not wanting to be there. Violet’s answer was probably the most revealing though, as she chose Trixie to leave, on the grounds that as a Returning Queen, her performances “need to be put under the microscope”. Who would have though that it would be Violet of all people carrying aloft and burning the “NO! RETURNING QUEENS! EVAH!” torch for longest? Either that or she was just solidifying her cameraderie with Miss Fame, her first and only friend outside of Instagram, THESE MILLENNIAL KIDS WITH THEIR “LIKES” AND THEIR “FRIENDS” I DON’T GET IT.
10. With Violet saved by her runway look and perfect Divine make-up job (if not performance) it was left to Miss Fame and Pearl to fight TO THE DEATH, finally resolving whatever weird resentful frenemy UST vibe they’ve had that’s been bubbling under all season. And as always with UST, the eventual S was pretty shoddy. It didn’t help that they were having to perform to one of POP ICON AND SPECIAL GUEST JUDGE DANNY DEVITOS
…DEMI LOVATO’S chart hits. I’m not sure when this show became some sort of weird wish-fulfilment factory for 17 year old girls to come and have their crummy songs performed by drag queens but it NEEDS TO STOP NOW. Remember when the guest judges had their own points of view and didn’t just giggle and say “I LIVE FOR IT!” and do worse reads than even Alyssa Edwards could dream of (“HER TALENT IS LIKE OF A BLIND MAKE-UP PERSON LADY ON A FACE TEE HEE”). Anyway, the lip-sync sucked balls apart from this bit
and one bit when Pearl did a half-decent sulky stomp-off of attitude, then Miss Fame went home yelling “THE COSMIC QUEEN DEPARTS!” like she’s from the 90s X Men cartoon or something. I’ll miss her chicken stories and her random meltdowns but I do find myself with a lingering sense of disappointment that the queen trumpeted as the MOST FASHIONABLE IN ALL OF DRAG RACE HISTORY didn’t really deliver on that score.
Meanwhile On Untucked :
- We rehashed whether Pearl wants to be here for about 5 hrs
- Pearl’s COMPLETE inability to accept an apology remains inspirational
- Katya thinks that Violet’s outfit looked like a drunk lesbian at a gay Pride parade. I wish.
- The queens thought it would be Pearl and Miss Fame in the bottom 2, because they’re friends, and a lot of queens have sent their friends home this season. Finally an answer for those of us wondering how it is that Violet’s not lip-sync’d yet.
- Ginger would describe the actors in John Waters films as “people with quirks”. Consider that euphemism stolen.
- THIS is the real dawning of the Age Of Aquarius
- Or maybe this is
- Ginger was mad that Violet wasn’t called out on the fact that her dress was just a composite of everyone else’s ideas WHICH OF COURSE IT WAS GINGER TOTALLY HAVE A BISCUIT AND SIT DOWN
- Ginger went on a 5 minute long tirade against Miss Fame out on the fire escape and then Katya said one sentence against her and Miss Fame walked out right into the middle of it LOL
- Kennedy got stuck in a room with Trixie and Violet with none of the other members of the Bitter Old Lady Brigade to back her up and it damn near killed her
- Katya thinks that Sharon made it all the way to the Final 3 of her season without ever lip-sync’ing, which just goes to show that Willam vomiting all over the runway really does overshadow everything (I still sing “sashay, chantay, vomit on the runway” and I do not apologise)
- John Waters came backstage and it felt a lot more organic than when El Ariana Grande came back and stroked Kandy’s hair like a trust fund kid buying her way backstage at an N*Sync concert