Contestants this season have now performed in-challenge impersonations of Adore Delano, Alyssa Edwards, Bianca Del Rio, Courtney Act, Michelle Visage, Myrtle Gainsberg, RuPaul, and Sharon Needles. And they say this show is getting a bit self-referential…
I guess sometimes we forget how ridiculous this show we choose to watch is and then tableaus like this happen, and we are reminded.
2. It was no surprise then that instead of mourning for Kandy Ho (whose lipstick mirror message of “everything happens for a reason” had a silent “except my being cast, apprently” hissing into the ether on the end there as Jaidynn wiped it clean) the remaining cast rushed to fill the void of critique that had been left by Kennedy being declared safe last week during the “Death Becomes A Morphosised Crystal Glamazon Chicken Hooker” Runway and none of the judges getting to get their teeth into dismantling her…look. In confessional obviously, they’re not here to get hit. Pearl wondered what Kennedy was smoking to have come up with it, before Violet criticised it for not fulfilling the brief of looking dead or indeed even feminine. I dunno Violet, if Kennedy had been dressed as a MALE horse we’d have noticed the meaty tuck. Not even Jade could have competed…. Fortunately Violet then closed with a line we can all agree on.
That Kennedy looked like Tony The Tiger on crack. She’s Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrating! Part of me does want to give Kennedy credit, because for one of the most pageanty queens the show’s ever had, she’s delivered a truly eclectic collection of runway looks over the course of the series so far. In much the same way that UKIP have a truly eclectic mix of racists, contrarians, bitchy homophobic suburban housewives, sleazy lunatics and “colourful characters” running for Parliament next month.
3. Katya told us this week that her plan now in the competition is to murder a couple of the other contestants to get ahead. I hear that actually happened on one of those VH1 dating reality shows one time. And now Mr T will never find true love. *sniff*. Of course Katya needn’t have gone to such drastic lengths, because this week’s challenge?
HOW BIG IS KATYA’S MEATY TUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK? I mean Snatch Game. The annual parody of Match Game, or as it’s known in the UK “Blankety Blank” (Drag Race UK really isn’t going to struggle to come up with its own title for this round is it?). And all it takes to survive Snatch Game is to land one joke, just one, because at least two other contestants will inevitably choose to be a modern pop tart and answer every question by just regurgitating one of their one-word song titles or staring blankly into space whilst the shady baby’s rattle plays in the background. And whilst Katya hasn’t been the comedy tornado I was hoping for this season, I think she can at least manage that. Even if she did originally explain the challenge as involving latex frog costumes and flamethrowers (no Katya, that’s what Kennedy’s wearing for next week’s runway, the theme is Latina Realness). If you’re an even halfway funny queen, Snatch Game is always a weird mix of week off and power grab, because it’s hard (although not impossible *cough* TYRA *cough*) to win the whole show without doing a good one. This is not an audience that is going to forgive you fumbling the second-best regular challenge of the whole season (the best being the one with the hand-puppets PLEASE LET THAT BE HAPPENING THIS SEASON, TOP 5 I’M WAITING FOR PUPPET KENNEDY YOU KNOW IT’S COMING)
4. Despite the fact that these queens have had yonks to prepare, the pre Snatch Game work-room is always full of queens second guessing themselves over their impersonation choices. Although at least this time most of them at least had a better reason for it than the usual “I turned on MTV with the intention of just imitating the first female singer I saw but I got stuck in the middle of 12 hours of “I Want To Work For Diddy” reruns. Because both Miss Fame and Violet wanted to be…THE SAME PERSON.
And the same Donatella Versace shaped person at that. And so began a war of wills. Violet had been working on her Donatella Versace for 8 MONTHS! Miss Fame had been planning to be Donatella EVER SINCE SHE STARTED AUDITIONING TO GO ON THE SHOW! Violet DIDN’T HAVE A BACK-UP CHARACTER SO IF SHE WASN’T DONATELLA, SHE WAS SCREWED! MISS FAME NEEDED TO BE DONATELLA TO SHOW THE JUDGES THAT SHE CAN BE OUT THERE AND GOOFY AND ISN’T JUST RESTING ON PRETTY!!!!!! In the end, it was Miss Fame who capitulated, and went to her back-up character of The Long Island Medium. Whatever one of those is. And by “in the end” I of course mean “until Ru sprinted towards the drama faster than Mystique running towards her two-piece and a biscuit and got in her head”. He stomped into the workroom and told Miss Fame to snatch Donatella Versace back off Violet to show her strong character, and then told Violet to do Alyssa Edwards instead because her Donatella was shit. I mean, he used more words and was more passive aggressive about it, but this is a recap, not a transcript. (My favourite part of this was Pearl telling Violet that she didn’t have to do things just because RuPaul told her to. PUNK PEARL <3) Please note that 5 seconds later RuPaul was literally telling Kennedy, who was in the throes of a dilemma over whether to be Sweet Brown or Little Richard, that he couldn’t tell her what to do. COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. (My favourite part of this? Kennedy saying that she couldn’t do Sweet Brown because she only has one line and Katya blithering “SHE’S GOT A WHOLE MONOLOGUE!”. What depths of character to mine). Oh and also Ru found time out from messing with girls to inform Katya that her problem is that she is addicted to anxiety. Ru’s cultisms are the best, I would join.
5. An exhaustive list of every Snatch Game contestant I was mostly familiar with only as a name and a “oh isn’t that the lady from thing?” before Snatch Game
Kimora Lee Simmons
It’s been an education.
6. A ranking of this year’s Snatch Game performances
This year’s token “I can sort of look a bit like her and sound a bit like something foreign so let’s do that and hope the words that come out of my mouth are funny” pick. Her confusing the answer card for a doctors scrip is funny on paper, but her delivery of it just shows that the comic timing is not there with this one house down Versace boots pause for laugh flick hair.
“Sharon has a darker side to her, but I’m going to keep it very Disney Sharon Needles”. Max, honey, Sharon Needles is nothing but her dark side. Take it away and there’s nothing left. Other, apparently, than saying “SPOOKY!” and going “ha ha” and launching yourself down a really weird rabbit hole about how perfect and adorable Ellen DeGeneres is. Also…more Tim Burton Sharon Needles than Disney Sharon Needles to look at, let’s be honest.
I think he was resting on pretty, I’m sorry, he was lucky Max bombed this challenge because otherwise he would have been lip-sync’ing and it’s a shame, because I know he’s a talented queen.
Basically everyone from Michael upwards I enjoyed, so don’t come for me but I don’t really know what a Suze Orman is, and Katya didn’t play her cartoonily enough for me to be able to laugh at her as an archetype. Whatever her archetype is. Insincere Finance Power Lezz? I did like how she took the challenge as an opportunity to read the other queens characters a la Jinkx and Bianca (by which I mean she made a whole bunch of jokes about Donatella Versace that Miss Fame was too dumb to find for herself), but even there, Ginger’s “I LOVE YOU JUSTIN BIEBER!” kind of trumped her. At least I know it’s pronounced a la “Suzie” now. I was always sayin’ “Sooz” (*shame*)
A really good physical and occasionally verbal impersonation of Alyssa (I love how she captured the magic of how Alyssa’s face always looks kind of poorly photoshopped onto the rest of her), especially as it was cobbled together last-second but I’m a little bored of how these queens are relying on the catchphrases of queens past, and also, anyone can tongue-pop.
I guess the problem is that Jaidynn’s visions as Raven got really boring over the course of however long this took to film, but it only aired for 10 minutes so for me it only really started to pall towards the end. And “I’VE HAD A VISION! I’M A LLLLLLLESBIAN NOW!” *swirls titties* made me laugh like a drain, I’m sorry.
I’m not sure if I enjoyed this so much because of Kennedy’s performance, or just because Little Richard is inherently one of the funniest people/things/ways of being in the world to me but it took brass ones to take the risk of doing “boy-drag” when it’s been so cut down before (although let’s be real, Little Richard is more of a drag queen than half these queens will ever be) and it feels wrong to only give such a risk a “safe” position in the middle.
She was getting her life, I loved it. If a former Snatch Game “victim” had to go on to be a contestant, I’m glad it was this one.
“I had a rough childhood ok, I wasn’t watching fucking Batman and Robin” and “they’re a medical mystery!” were the lines of Snatch Game no? There was something very Aqua Teen Hunger Force about Pearl’s performance of whatever Big Ang is that I really dug, it was the GIANT BROWN STAIN on her left tit that really did it for me. It’s the details.
I hear people saying that it was really lame that Ginger brought food with her a fat queen prop and that this was lazy. To which I say she brought food AND wine AND a fake cigarette AND three fake awards. Recognise her full props game. There was probably barely enough room on that desk to hold the answer cards. I haven’t seen such comedy clutter since Manila’s shoe-invasion. I also hear people saying that Ginger’s impersonation of Adele didn’t make sense to them because they’d never seen Adele acting superior or clueless. To which I say try being British. You’ll see it soon enough.
7. It’s a good job Katya’s emotional moment bonding with Miss Fame over their shared past of substance abuse and Katya’s rampant self-doubt was so genuine and touching, because the deployment of these *moments* by the show really has started to feel very mechanical hasn’t it?
THERE’S 20 MINUTES LEFT IN THE EPISODE, LET’S GET READY FOR SOME TEARS! And then you can recover in time to watch the queens walk the runway. And it’s a shame that the deployment of these sessions feels rote, because even though the editing this series has been a little less playfully ham-fisted than previously (it’s always been obvious and clunky let’s be honest, and long may it continue to be so) I think they’ve done a really good job of laying out queens flaws (Pearl’s bluff surliness, Katya’s tendency to keep her feelings to herself, Fame’s overtalking and self-obsession, Violet’s bitchiness, Ginger’s superiority complex, Jaidynn’s shallowness and trend-following, Max’s judgemental side) then later rolling out what in their background has made them that way or has at least informed their current self (Pearl’s teenage issues, Katya and Fame’s destrutive history, Ginger’s having to constantly seek strength from within because she didn’t feel supported by others, Jaidynn’s stint on the show basically being a bombing run through her entire relationship with her family, Violet’s….well I guess Violet’s just being Violet).
8. This week’s runway was a blessed contrast from last week’s cartoonery, with the queens challenged to bring their best Leather & Lace looks. Or as it might more appropriately have been deemed “Pleather & Plaice” as
this fish for caught in the wrapper for a six-pack of Heineken. It’s hard to capture the majesty of Kennedy’s walk in stills, so let’s just say she was chewing and wriggling that runway up like a little turtle-head was emerging from her backdoor. Other highlights included Violet
finally looking like Bound like I have been internally DEMANDING since her Meet The Queens video, Ginger as Priscilla Presley, Pearl doing what
Pearl does best and
JAIDYNN’S HAIR, YES GAWD. Really everyone’s outfits were ok this week at worst, Jaidynn’s raggedy nude illusion lace top being saved by her leather bottom half, I was just disappointed that Max took his act over the edge whilst giving Michelle her PRECIOUS non-grey wig
The costume-store cobweb hat, the batman tits, the bleach-out albno skin AND the red contacts AND the suspender belts AND the “Trixie Mattell does LSFYL pantomime” memorial walk down the catwalk as a “merry widow”? Too much. It felt like this episode Max plunged hard into exactly what she’s just been riding the edge of all season, and the effect was a disaster.
9. With Katya in the top on the say so of people who actually knew who Suze Orman was (I’m not complaining, especially as it allowed Tamar to deploy “you look like Britney Spears at 40” as a compliment during Katya’s critique), Kennedy and Ginger co-winning, and Miss Fame kept just above the bottom 3, partly by her outfit but MORE partly by the fact that RuPaul bullying her into doing Donatella then putting in the LSFYL would have been incredibly shady even for the mechanics of this show, we were faced with a lip-sync between Max and Jaidynn. Well, after a brief interlude wherein Max loosened her corset and then lounged on the runway stairs like an alleyway drunk singing “A Star Is Born” at the top of her lungs. The show tried to present this as Max having a full body meltdown. Max has tried to present it as the product solely of editing room shenanigans. As last week’s episode taught me, I’m going to take it that the truth is somewhere in the middle and involves German tourists. The lip-sync itself was another fairly middling effort in a season of them (can someone kill it soon? I don’t want to reach the end of the series and realise that I didn’t really appreciaite the best LSYFL of the season (Katya’s) whilst it was happening?). Max was low energy and Jaidynn
struggled under the weight of her hair but then Max was booted and I was SHOCKED (when I checked the wikipedia page in the morning before I watched the episode COME ON TIME DIFFFERENCE). Maybe in the end her brittleness and distance just became too much for the show to work with as we get to the end and the episodes have to become more personality led? Maybe they ran out of white powder make-up? Maybe she got deported back to England?
Oh wait no it was just to set up tension for this.
10. So, after it worked so well (lol) and was so popular (LOL) in seasons 3 and 4, we’re getting the twist where an eliminated queen returns again. By which I mean we’re getting Trixie Mattell back. Probably. Tempest and Sasha were useless (on the show, calm down Beyonce), Jasmine left in a rage, Max left in a vicious edit, and Mrs Kasha and Kandy both got invisiedits. Part of me will cackle if the show’s fanbase was led by the nose to all that embarassing #justicefortrixie shit they did, part of me will be slightly disappointed (emotionally) that it’s not Mrs K and (logically) that it’s not Max, who really was doing well at carving out a niche for himself until he randomly went insane this episode. Of course really I wouldn’t want any queens back at all, because it feels like a cheat that someone gets to skip so many challenges (INCLUDING SNATCH GAME). Such a cheat that they don’t even feel like a contestant proper, just someone hanging around to improve their legacy a bit/act like a prop to get smushed in a lip sync. (Also I can’t deny that I am seething that in my pre-series rankdown my top 7 was comprised of 6 of this top 7 we have now (and Miss Fame was 8th) and SOMEONE’S ABOUT TO RUIN IT) (What? My S6 pre-series ranking had Laganja and Vivacious at the top, let me feel my oats). (Don’t read any of the content, just look at the numbers) (JUST THE NUMBERS)
Now watch it be another returnee victory for Puerto Rico…
Meanwhile on Untucked
- HURR HURR PEARL DUN NEARLY FELL OVERD.
- Pearl believes this was the fault of Violet’s lubey ass. Write that foot-fetish-fic NOW, INTERNET.
- Pearl and Violet spent the first 10 minutes of the episode bitching about everyone else, just like Kennedy, Ginger and Katya did last week, but were more likeable about it, so it was funnier.
- This assessment is in no way influenced by Violet talking about Pearl’s meaty handful of a dick
- Also because it reminded me of Fashion Club
- Also because they referenced Willam’s Beatdown
- “Little Richie”
- CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THEY BROUGHT SOMEONE BACK, LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT A BIT I SURE HOPE IT’S TRIXIE.
- Why hello there at the back.
- Max could have done a better job of not falling to pieces the first time he got seriously critiqued to be honest
- Violet read Ginger the EXACT way that Ginger reads everyone else, all “oh I didn’t think it was going be good, but then it was”, and Ginger reacted like she’d just been CATTLE-BRANDED and I lived for it.
- Miss Fame said that she didn’t know the words to the lip-sync song and then she and Katya spent the next minute yelling at one another all “DON’T GET IN THAT HOLE! I GOT IN THAT HOLE ONCE AND I DID NOT LIKE IT!” and I laughed.
- Katya and Ginger recreating the “Me Against The Music” video is the moment I decided I wanted both of them in the final I don’t care about challenges no more.
- It felt like Kennedy was sincerely coaching Jaidynn for her lip-sync, which was nice
- Max sloppily shaded Jaidynn as looking like a garbage bag which…man, you’ve done so well with how you’ve deployed your shade until now Max, don’t blow it at the last.