Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Final (1) Summary


Judges Pick : MARK’S CHA CHA! FRANKIE’S SAMBA! SIMON’S CHARLESTON! A THING CAROLINE DID! All dances that got the nation talking, debating, clapping along or booing furiously. Forget Simon’s Viennese Waltz, Caroline’s American Smooth, Frankie’s Waltz or Mark’s Amerian Smooth – dances where we could maybe see and appreciate obvious improvement based on accrued technique or corrected mistakes. Forget Simon’s Quickstep, Caroline’s Jive, Frankie’s Tango and Mark’s…Jive(?) – exciting showstoppers that the couples themselves have neglected to pick which the judges might theoretically have nonetheless preserved for the country to see again. THESE ARE THE DANCES THAT WE ALL WATCHED THE FINAL OF THE UK’S BIGGEST TALENT BASED REALITY SHOW TO SEE! CRUMMY PARTY LATIN!

Well I presume you did, I was checking my nails throughout. None of this next year please.


Frankie & Kevin : Grasping the opportunity of there being absolutely no other traditional ballroom appearing in the final with both hands, Kevin seizes the day and produces a tribute to FRED N GINNNNNNNNGE, to Get Happy, complete with quickstep, foxtrot, and jumping up and down on benches. It’s rather sweet, and well danced, but expecting Frankie to scale the heights of Judy Garland’s brand of pep is…perhaps misguided. The judges like it, except Craig, who calls her a horse.

Mark & Karen : Run around aimlessly, miming, dressed in cricket-whites for some reason, to “Don’t Stop Me Now”. It’s not…erm…any good at all really, but they do plant a flag in new territory for Strictly, making use of the non Claud-9 affiliated balcony to …well…run around on as fireworks go off. The judges tell you to please to vote him out now please, they’re done saving his arse.

Caroline & Pasha : Produce, after far more crying than is strictly necessary from Caroline about how Pasha has CHANGED HER LIFE AND HER VAGINA FOREVER, a highly emotive (like, Dr Hamela is looking at this and saying “…a little much luv”) waft-and-spasm-and-menstrual-cramp along to Angels by Robbie Williams. Snowdance done right basically. Your opinion of it will…probably depend on whether you think Snowdance Done Right could ever be worth doing. The judges adore it, except Len, blatantly, although he makes nice and claps along and gives it a 10 like everyone else does.

Simon & Kristina : STRIP! ORF!

It feels like Mark is maybe done, rooted as he is to the bottom of the leaderboard with a wk 1 cha cha and a crummy showdance as everyone else goes at the glitterball all guns blazing but…stranger things have happened. Not much stranger, admittedly…


12 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Final (1) Summary

  1. John

    If Pasha falls down, starts twitching and an alien pops out of his belly we’ll know Caroline did it when she launched herself at his face. (Also, that bit in Silver Linings Playbook if it had gone horribly wrong).

  2. Anna

    Caroline’s showdance was a bit Snowdance 2: Flacknado. But also the most fitting conclusion to her Strictly Come Pasha 2014 journey.

  3. generalcatastrophe

    I reckon next year they should do an online vote to pick one of the final dances, not just leave it to the judges.

    Also, they should tell us the voting figures for each week. Other shows do, why won’t the beeb?

  4. Left Feet

    I preferred Frankle’s show dance as there was a last some ballroom on the show, it could have done without the a lot of the stuff on the benches, but way better then Kevin did last year with Susanna.. Not a huge fan of contemporary but Pasha showed that he can do a showdance and Caroline emoted beautifully Simons was very similar to the Donobot, while Mark’s was a usual standard showdance ie dire.

  5. missfrankiecat

    I never loved Len more than in his barely concealed contempt for that Flack vomit fest and Pasha mauling. Poor, poor Rachel Riley!

    1. Left Feet

      Still gave it a ten though, I thought the choreography was beautiful if you like that style of dance. He also gave Louis a Ten a couple of years ago as well. Its probably not his favourite style but on the US show they do hip hop show dances so it probably washes over him

    2. John

      I don’t think she need worry. At one point in the after-interview Pasha used the word ‘friend’ about Caroline 3 times in ten seconds. #friendzoned #ouch

  6. PerfectCustard

    Put me in the camp that loved Flasha’s contemporary show dance, it took guts & was danced beautifully. I agree with Craig, Mark did more of an aerobic routine, and I found Simon’s version of Elvis just a little too busy. I was liking Claudia’s dress, and eying Darcy’s jewelry.

    1. Min

      The thing with Mark was that it wasn’t even a routine. It was like a 3 year old running around to the radio with a bit of stair bothering thrown in.

      It’s like they’d spent all the series doing Showdances instead of actual routines and had run out of ideas.

  7. Agrippina

    I know Kartem’s showdance ended up being disappointing, but it was danced to the same song as Mark’s, so I was left feeling outraged that he’d even tried to be a bit like Kara. Not that he would have chosen the song, but my Mark hatred peaked so dramatically last night that I watched all of his non-dance bits ob mute.
    I liked Caroline’s cha cha but didn’t think it was worth 40. Likewise her showdance.
    It was nice to see some actual ballroom in the form of Frankie’s showdance so I was prepared to overlook the tweeness. It was really odd how both the judges and the audience just lost interest in her though.
    Simon was there. That is all.

  8. Miss Cavie

    Loved Frankie’s showdance, an oasis of ballroom in a desert of cruddy party latin. Not a fan of contemporary wafting, so Snowdance 2 (sadly bereft of Bacofoil and rolling on the floor) left me cold. Though the part where Caroline launched herself at Pasha’s face like something out of Alien was…. interesting. Mark was channelling an overexcited toddler on a sugar high, whilst Simon was pretty standard showdance fair.

    Less said about judges choice the better. Not one, but two boring week one Cha Chas – no thanks.

  9. tabithakitten

    The one thing I can say in favour of the choice of Caroline’s week 1 cha cha is that at least it means Lisa’s limp effort is no longer the single highest scoring dance of that ilk. Small mercies and that.


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