Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 10 Performance Summary

INDIA! – The opening pro-dance is a Bollywood Number which manages to not be to Jai Ho for about 30 seconds then just gives in to the weight of gravity and Jai Hos all over the place with extra Jai Hos for dessert. JAI HO.

NETHERLANDS! – Pixie and Trent dance a DUTCHINESE WALTZ, whirling around with clogs, tulips and windmills and yet again Pixie is the star of the show whilst Trent farts around at the back with some Dutch boys. This feels…even less explicable in a ballroom dance than it did last week in a “latin”.

USA! – Mark and Karen are in Las Vegas with strippers (Mark) and showgirls (everyone else) for a YANKEE SALSA to Elvis Presley where Mark just does his In Da Club sex moves to camera for 90 seconds and we all discover why in that context he is Marky No-Moves.

BRAZIL! – Sunetra is a prostitute on the beach dancing the rumba to The Girl From Ipanema and looks about as comfortable throughout as you would doing the same thing. The judges absolutely murder her and she looks like he’s going to cry. But in a real human way, not a Mark Wright “oh is the camera on me now?” sort of way. What a happy ending. (You know, unless she doesn’t go home) (LOL)

TURKEY! – Caroline does easily the best dance of the week with a Turkish bazaar themed Charleston, although even then Wardrobe have sent a sleeper agent to DESTROY HER in the form of Pasha’s fez which flies off his head and runs straight for her feet like a horny pug-dog until Pasha hoofs it off (my hero!)

AUSTRIA! – Simon is literally the only person to get an appropriate theme this week, dancing a Waltz dressed like the Austrian Military to Edelweiss, and it’s so palpably unfair that I don’t care how good his technique was (I didn’t think it was that good) or how many 10s it got (too many) or how it was danced to Edelweiss (OH WAIT I DO CARE, BECAUSE EDELWEISS SUCKS, VOMIT OFF) I didn’t like it.

USA! AGAIN! – Frankie jives in high heels on an actual surfboard that FLIES IN FROM THE ROOF like what sort of S Club 8 Arena Tour realness and we all stop caring and praying for this week to end.

GREECE! – Remember when we all thought an Argentine Tango to a Greek theme was the worst idea ever? IT TOTALLY WAS! Jake spends an entire VT learning how to smash a plate and then doesn’t even do it in the actual routine, just shouts OPA a lot and crashes into backing dancers and actually I think starts twerking in an Argentine Tango and oh God this Theme Week could actually have worked but not like this make it die

So yeah. All that happened.


38 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 10 Performance Summary

  1. BeyonceCastle

    Opa in German means Grandad. #zorbathegeek

    Oh my. Where to start?

    Ach je! Trent’s Lederhosen needed a Trachteotomy.

    Wardrobe thinks a blue m+s shirt tucked into white chinos represents Brazil? I know Mark had all the pink and Kev red flowers but Brenda doesn’t even get a Rio blue silky shirt tucked out to spare his midriff.

    Caroline gets a useless handbag prop she has to hurl to the floor like she’s in a boyband vid. Looking at you LeastWorstMemberOfBlue. And a dress she has now worn three times.

    Frankie has stupid wig and jumps the shark surfboard.

    Stupid theme week. And I love theme weeks. And Eurovision. But this was pants. And not even harem ones.

    And they used Jai Ho when they could have used Maahi Ve. I blame Janette.

    Plus sides?

    Pixie’s skirt was very twirly.
    Karen makes a fetching showgirl.
    Christina looks younger the less slap she wears.
    Jake didn’t fall over when backup dancer went rogue.
    Pasha’s effortless kicking of the fez was sublime.
    Mcbasterd weren’t there.
    You didn’t abort ship senor Monkseal. Gracias Xxx

  2. John

    Distinctly slower dances this week. Not up-tempo (Oww!). Sunetra’s rumba was in slow-mo and Jake’s AT was a flatfooted whimper to end proceedings. The waltzes did nothing for me (though in fairness, they rarely do). Mark and Frankie danced well enough but the theming really wasn’t up to scratch this week and I found myself comparing their dances to better ones they’d done previously.

    It was all about Caroline’s Charleston’s this week though wasn’t it? It had everything. Wonderful dancing and tight lifts, Drama – wardrobe’s sneak attack fez, Heroics – Pasha’s footwork, and I’M SORRY but that should have been our series’ 2nd straight 10’s if it wasn’t for Craig’s full on mard this week.

    (The first deserving dance being Pixie’s Paso).

  3. catherinehirst

    Awful show, for the most part. Jake was terrible, like really terrible, and I actually like Jake generally. But all his weak spots have been showing lately and I’m wondering if he really is going to make the final. Looking more and more like Pixie, Frankie, Simon, and Caroline.

    Caroline was brilliant, and I’m developing a soft spot for Simon. It might be how adorable I’m finding Kristina this series. (Pasha is such a legend. Kicking that fez out of the way was my favourite moment of the show.)

    1. monkseal Post author

      I don’t think the public are letting Jake (/the opportunity to see THAT SALSA again) go that easily…

  4. Left Feet

    Don’t think theme really worked, only one that works is Halloween for me. The backing dancers are not needed and one influenced one dance (Jake) OK the dance was not good but still. There is some DWTS influence but I think we are still a long way from Mario Brothers show dances.

  5. missfrankiecat

    For once I disagree with you MS. I thought something had finally into place.clicked for Simon with that waltz; he looked relaxed, controlled and the partnership with Kristina suddenly looked vaguely genuine. On the bright side, Edelweiss could have been worse if allocated to Trent and Pixie for a full-on Aryan look. What a disaster the whole show pretty much was though.

    1. MorticiaA

      Agree with you about Simon, Frankiecat. I was worried his waltz would get lost amidst the clamour of faster dances, but no. Really hoping he can make it to the final, as it’s looking increasingly likely that Jake will be a sho-in, (apparently a certain JJ on Twitter has been stirring up the theory that Jake was stitched up by the choice of a Greek AT and rallying votes for him, not to mention an indignant DS thread of the opinion that “Jake woz stitched up…… OK, I need to get a life, it’s official…) and he will be left to battle it out for the fourth place with Caroline. On her current form, there’s not much chance of him winning that fight, unless Caroline has a Ward-Robe malfunction of mega proportions
      The rest of it was a dog’s dinner. Why was Pixie doing a ballet solo in the middle of a VW, and why was so much of it out of hold? KFG totally outdanced Frankie who looked leaden footed to boot, and what was with the 1920s flapper dress on a surf chick? Though there’s really no point searching for logic in Strictly..
      Poor Sunetra. She looked so upset at the pasting she got from the judges. Deeply unappreciative that Brenda’s meat and 2 veg were prominently on display in Anton’s hand me downs. No wonder she was touting her services on the beach.
      Finally, will someone please press the mute, swiftly followed by the eject button on Mark? Please, oh pretty please. Very amusing that Len finally snapped, “I know you’ve had a busy week…” after several minutes of faux modesty – not a natural dancer, have to try so hard – which clearly anticipated a shower of 10s for a salsa that was so stilted it was practically constipated. His fall from grace as the journey contestant to the benefit of Simon’s comeback kid narrative has been swift. Looking forward to his eventual departure – flood barriers at the ready!
      Also looking forward to your full recap, Monkseal. x.

  6. Chris

    From Urban Dictionary – ‘OPA is a Greek Word that may be used as an ‘Exclamation’, or ‘Utterance’, or ‘Declaration’, or ‘Affirmation’ or a lovingly gentle way of telling you to ‘Stop’ … depending on the situational context.’ (Pick whichever one you think best describes Jake’s dance)

    I can’t actually remember if Brendan was in Sunetra’s routine at all. I mean, mentally he’s not been there for a while now, but this week he wasn’t even there physically. If this week is it for Sunetra, is it likely that he’ll be back next series? I can’t take another series of him being over the show, and plus if Brendan leaves then they’re less likely to Anya out Trent.

    Speaking of which, Trent doing snow angels on the floor at the end of Pixie’s dance was hilarious and adorable as ever. Also his swooning into Pixie and the backing dancers throughout. And those shorts. I rarely break out the ❤ but Trent is all kinds of ❤

    As for the rest of the show… it was at least a lot less offensive than I predicted, which is something? (There's actually a thread on DS at the minute asking why they didn't pick more exotic countries smh – because we would have fallen down a deep, murky rabbit hole of racism, that's why)

    1. BeyonceReallyWantedToSeeADancingNun

      Can I old-skool translate it as Whoops! Or given the entire premise of the routine a Britney-esque Oops (I did shit again)?
      Poor Jake with his week 2 jinx. No more than 3rd then if he follows in Sophie’s footsteps.
      But you are spot on about Trent’s snow angels/aww excited-puppy-plays with-tulip-petals impression, I would have loved him to have invaded the stage at end of Edelweiss and done the same thing.
      According to someone at DS had Steve not gone out he would have been dancing to this number instead. The mind boggles.

    2. monkseal Post author

      Trent exposing his skinny pale little knees in those shorts was…bless. He seems *most pleased* with Wardrobe for it on ITT.

  7. Stormy

    Does the person picking the songs have it out for Jake? Last week, the bloody Macarena, now this week he had to AT to Zorba the Greek. What’s next? A Viennese Waltz to Thomas the Tank Engine?

  8. Miss Cavie

    Steve Backshall went home and I had to watch THAT!. Dear Lord. There’s a person out there, roaming the streets who actually thought that a Greek themed Argentine Tango was a good idea. Poor Sunetra, utterly shafted at being marked below that crime against the Purity of Dahnce.

    Caroline was best by a country mile, despite being attacked by a rogue fez. Simon was OK in that his “theme” was the only one that made a lick of sense. Everyone else? Meh.

    As theme weeks go, this one should be quietly buried under the patio and never spoken of again.

  9. Monaogg

    3 great dances – Caroline & Pasha (Brilliant) Simon & Kristina, and Pixie & Trent (seems to know how to put personality into a VW which KFG lacks) 😀

    3 Meh dances – Frankie & Kevin (why was she dressed as a Sparkly Squaw), Sunetra & three others, and Mark & Karen. :-/

    1 Blummin awful AT. Jake looked like he was trying to span the Thames at Walford, with Janette whirling round him like a snowstorm. Backing dancers jockeying for position as boats going under the bridge whilst the bridge swayed and threatened to sink them. 😦

    As for the opening number. Looked like a argy bargy in a Temple where no one knew the rules of the dance. Why does there always have to be too many dancers for a number. Sometimes less is more.

    1. Huriye

      I totally agree. Bollywood was a shambles. When Jai Ho came on my mind turned to Hayley & Dan’s DOI classic. Christopher Dean outdoing Jason Gilkison for choreography.

      But that was my only disappointment. I really enjoyed the show. I am an “ethnic minority” and I wasn’t offended. I also love Dance. That is all.

      Sunetra was treated appallingly. To hold centre stage like that in a Rhumba, and interact with 3 other professional dancers, and carry it off was so admirable. Shame on the Judges and especially that ridiculous 5. I’d like to critique Darcey’s mannequin-like unrthymical, no-timing shambles of an entrance “dahnce” myself.
      Sunetra >3

      I thought Frankie was close to tears that she didn’t get a 10 when most of the contenders around her were, she looked really deflated.

      Yay for the Brimingham Royal Ballet tweeting about Bruno’s comment to Trent & Pixie re their VW reminding him of La Fille Mal Gardee. 🙂
      You’d have had Midlands Pride if you weren’t busy coiffing drinks wiv yer mates Monkseal! 😛
      Cannot wait to see our Amsterdam Twosome’s Showdance.
      Did the Strictly Budget really stretch to sending them over just to film a *comedy* VT? Wow.

      1. Perdie

        I think that was somewhere carefully chosen to look vaguely Amsterdam, but was just somewhere with canals.

        I think Hayley’s Jai Ho was one of the few routines allowed to be choreographed by an outside choreographer

      2. grapefruitzzz

        You could see London ‘you are here’ map poles in the background 😉
        If I have to put up with having a male journey winner forced on us over letting the ‘story’ develop naturally, please at least make it Simon.

    2. monkseal Post author

      In this case I guess they felt they had to crowbar in at least some people who knew what they were doing. Somewhere towards the back.

  10. peeve

    By the end of Sunetra’s routine, Brenda had already decamped for Erin Island. I actually liked all that ‘Opa!’ nonsense in Jake’s sorry excuse for an AT, but then I remember all that drunken Greek dancing I’ve done on holiday over the years, which totally explains my fondness for his interpretation.

  11. Isolde

    Dear God, that was a shambles, and it could have been so camp-tastic. Can someone please explain to me how Pixie and Trent’s Hitler Youth look qualified as Dutch? And she may have danced it beautifully and deserved her 10s, but my TV screen was so full of backing dancers I couldn’t see her.
    On a different note, Camilla Dallerup was on Pointless and is now a ‘life coach’. That’s Camilla “one day in the jungle”, “boo hoo Brendan cheated on me” Dallerup.
    I repeat, “Dear God”.

  12. breppo

    I’ve seen contestants on the Amazing Race do a better Bollywood impression – dehydrated in 45 degrees heat after 15 minutes rehearsal time – than the pro dancers did.
    And then, after an already difficult day – Kym… Alli… muhuhuhuhuhuhu – came the most vicious attack on DUTCH CULTURAL HERITAGE since the introduction of Rainbow- and Stroopwafel Petes on the national Sinterklaas Parade. What the F was that? An American tripping on LSD couldn’t have come up with that.
    Swedish Chef trying to mumble German, Moulin Rouge style windmills and costumes that were obviously borrowed from the set of a Tiroler soft-sex flick.
    To top it off, Dave Arch and his wonderful, wonderful orchestra murdered one of my dad’s favourite songs.
    It’s a good thing we have more important things on our plate, like the Black Pete discussion, otherwise this would be cause for a major diplomatic incident.

    Poor, poor Sunetra. Has there ever been a more blatant attempt at giving a contestant the boot?

    1. monkseal Post author

      To be fair, by this point, it didn’t require much effort. Really it’s a tribute that they still felt the need to give her a mighty heave-ho anyway.

  13. generalcatastrophe

    Ugh, oh where to start with this week… That opening number was a disaster, musically and the number of dancers filling the stage.

    I’m fed up with chucking backing dancers at them – for all of them. They were of little to no practical use, Caroline’s lift aside, and in Jake’s case caused a Craig-rant. While Craig had a fair point, floorcraft applies equally to the backing dancers as it does to J&J, so why should the scoring be penalised for that? Though, to be fair, the dance was bloody awful and who the hell thought that was a good concept? Perhaps we should develop a Strictly board game where dance types, music and themes are decided by rolling dice, it couldn’t be any worse.

    So, Jake was rubbish, and Caroline & Pasha were excellent. Pixie & Trent were… meh. I’m sure I heard the judges recently complaining about waltz/viennese waltz being danced out of hold and yet this time she was praised for it. BE CONSISTENT! Sunetra didn’t deserve the mauling she got, and Mark was overmarked for what he did. Frankie was decent, but looked like she felt they were undermarked given a) the comments and b) what everyone else was getting. Simon was ok but not as interesting as the judges made it, though Kristina seems slightly more chilled and less “GIMME GLITTERBALL” than she has before which might help.

    I would’ve liked to see more variation in the countries, and at least more than two continents, but I guess we’d have had even more horrible stereotyping so I’ll take what we got and hope they file it under “oh god, never again”. And I wish they’d stop forcing Frankie to have hair extensions.


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