Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 8 Performance Summary

We open with a routine where Iveta dances with her 8 year old self, who is singing ABBA.

No really.

Moving on.

ARE YOU READY FOR BLACKPOOL? ARE YOU READY FOR 10S?! ARE YOU READY FOR 9S?! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME JUDY 7S?! ARE YOU READY FOR BACKING DANCER AFTER BACKING DANCER AFTER BACKING DANCER?! THERE’S SOMETHING FOR EVERYBODY! (Except Sunetra, who gets shoved in a death-slot with a hen-party themed mum-samba that gets roasted over an open fire by Craig. Although even that gets scores that literally not even Sunetra believes it’s worth) (Team Sunetra <3).

Simon gets three 10s for an erotically charged Argentine Tango with Kristina that only features two foot-punches and NO CHOKING. She's learning! Pixie gets two for a truly camp-shit crazy paso doble in which she and Trent are space-gladiators! Trent also gets his wife Gordana a gig as a backing dancer, although it becomes slowly clear over the course of the night that she looks far too much like Aliona to ever get a permanent role (boo). Frankie also gets two 10s for a rock-band themed quickstep that's probably the only quickstep ever in a big arena show not to feel like a dog being trotted round at Crufts. Caroline gets one 10 for her Londoncentric jive in which she comes dressed as a Happy Shopper Geri Halliwell. Surely this must be the peak of her feud with Wardrobe? SURELY? (Pasha sadly gets no 10s for his acting as a mysterious gypsy fortune teller because true acting genius is never recognised in its lifetime).

Sadly that's it for 10s. The fruit machine has to stop paying out at some point I guess. Jake and Mark both come close, and even get Craig-9s, which in very many ways are more valuable than a 10 from anybody else (certainly than a 10 from Craig, which as we know get given to disco-salsas and Dr Hammie's Quickstep and every single dance that Lisa Snowdon did to my recollection), although I can't see why in either case. Mark's magic-themed Charleston is fun but a little slow, and lacks the impact of either his samba or his jive. Jake's American Smooth on the other hand…is basically Ben's American Smooth from last year, but with Jake doing marginally more and doing it marginally worse. Janette works harder than Brenda does at making it up to production for missing his big Hallowe'en speech…I'm not sure Jake does an awful lot. I actually marginally prefer Steve's American Smooth, giant arm-hankies and bulky awkwardness included, just because it feels like the celebrity is actually involved. Also Iveta lobs make-up at him in his VT. I laughed.

Finally there's…Judy. Everything this week says it should be her time to leave. She does a nice enough ballroom dance, she gets 7s (the perennial now fuck off home mark for the no-hoper), Andy isn’t mentioned or shown once, and she literally floats off the show under a flight of balloons at the end. But will this be the end?

*to be continued*


36 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 8 Performance Summary

  1. Huriye

    Calm down Tess! The woman was practically hysterical every time she opened her mouth tonight! Yes, we know you’re in Blackpool, and it’s exciting…the glorious Tower Ballroom that is, not the godawful windandrainswept surroundings. Poor Trent. You weren’t ever going swimming in that sea.

    No, Tess, that little girl was NOT “singing perfectly” about having a dream. Though I liked the pretend trips to Lithuania/DownUnder etc to feature the Pros’ blossoming childhoods. Caring, in a nice way. The Opening Ensemble Routine livened up considerably when Abba was replaced with ‘My Fair Lady’, my FAVE Musical of all time! 🙂 I wish someone would dance a VW to The Ambassador’s Ball one day, Dave Arch, you’ve already done the arrangement, so give it to a celeb innit. (Just to add a bit of Theatrical Architectural chit chat. I saw My Fair Lady 4 times at Drury Lane, a theatre designed by Frank Matcham, who also designed the Tower Ballroom….and the Hackney Empire).

    Go Gordana! I was mesmerized by her! What a dancer! Tall and talented. Gordana to replace Ola in 2015. Keep Trent & Gordana. It worked for Aljaz & Janette.

    I actually enjoyed Judy & Anton’s dance more than I did Steve & Ola’s. I loved the seaside Pastel shades and straw hat. That woman looks amazing in a frock, and has a stunning figure for a middle aged lady. I’m well jealous. I seriously think she’ll stay in.

    We had REAL MAGIC!!! *Applause* I loved Mark & Karen’s Charleston, and Karen hyperventilating at their great scores every week is a highlight I never tire of. I like how she kept the choreo stagey and Music Hall in keeping with the Magician’s Theme. These 2 for the Final.

    I’m afraid I didn’t catch what Len said (when Zoe apologised, not the Urinal bit.) I’ll bet iPlayer takes it off, whatever it was. Do you think Len’s handed in his notice and is De-Mob Happy? Or was the Vino flowing a bit too much? Bruno is on something totally different, I’m sure, but well, he can afford it.
    His & Craig’s Intro Dance cracks me up every week, I LOVE it!! 😀
    At least Darcey put her back into it this week….a bit.

    Finally, I thought the standard of dancing tonight was mostly fantastic. My only disappointment was WARDROBE yet again, for totally screwing up Frankie & KFG’s styling/outfits. WTF? What was wiv the yellow check/tartan gear? It was crying out for 60s Mod outfits, she already has the hairstyle, we just needed some chic costumes and make-up innit?!
    But the routine itself was sensational, as was Pixie & Trent. Who’s gonna win?

    1. monkseal Post author

      I think Len was basically overcome by Simon’s sweaty pampers. He’s a devil for an overheated Argentine Tango – I remember he gave one to Lisa for her basically trying to finger herself with her big toe in mid air.

  2. Chris

    I’m going to tie my colours to Team Pixie and Trent now (mostly team Trent), because if Abbey Clancy can win, there’s still some hope for the ringers. She’s got more of a shot than Denise and Natalie had at least, because she’s not dominated the leaderboard as much, and she’s actually got some competition (plus I’ve legitimately enjoyed 50% of her dances, which is more than anyone else). And Trent doesn’t feel like part of a villainous ringer team like James and Artem did, he’s like Pixie’s stoned older brother. (Now watch them hit the bottom two tonight)

  3. Pops

    I was slightly disappointed to discover that Trent’s wife isn’t Australian as well, just because Gordana sounds like something out of that episode of Flight of the Conchords where Jemaine falls into forbidden love with an Australian girl called Keitha.

    I’m with you on wanting to vote for Sunetra purely on the basis of her ‘an 8 – for THAT!’ reaction. And although they are trying to call time on Judy, So What by Pink on her VT might be my favourite use of incidental music since they soundtracked Holly Valance failing to be arsed about being in the bottom two with I Don’t Care by Tranvision Vamp.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I know a Gordana, and also remember the amazing Gordana Gehlhausen from Project Runway 6, so the name isn’t so exotic for me. Although apparently all three pronounce it differently…

  4. John

    Pixie was perfect tonight. Poor girl has to be twice as good to be half as likable as the others though. (Although I do like her).

    Mark’s Charleston could have had 10s had it more dance content and less flimflam, but well, it is Blackpool. His star is shooting up while Jake’s falters though!

    Love Judy, but it’s time to let the best fight it out now. Speaking of, I realised tonight Caroline won’t win. She’s good but not near as good as Frankie or Pixie, and Mark is looking dangerous. A bet wasted. >:-(

    Highlight for me was Lens grumpily trying to catch Craig’s eye during half the show (can you IMAGINE if Bruno sat between those two). And Janette and Karens capering beside Zoe at the end. XD

    1. monkseal Post author

      Caroline does seem very third-tier of the frontrunner women. Although maybe if the POP STAH vote gets split.

  5. pootle

    That dress of Frankie’s was horrendous. It’s actually worse than any of the horrors Caroline’s been forced into. I now don’t want Pixie to win just out of dress unfairness. Although, according to the ITT shills on Friday, it’s still scripted to be a Man’s Year, because all the women have FLAWS and YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR A MAN TO DANCE ANYTHING AT ALL.Simon’s dance showed that this was rubbish because you couldn’t really see his legs at all in those trousers but everything Kristina did was highlighted.

    1. Lesley Rigg

      50s styling for a 20s dance with an 80s song from a 60s mod revival, makes perfect sense to me!! I think the material might have been left over from the Bay City Roller’s last tour!

    2. monkseal Post author

      I think they’ve just turned on the afterburners for the men for the last two weeks after it was looking a bit lopsided at top 10. Now things are more even they might level off a bit.

  6. breppo

    Strictly has finally jumped the… (oops, let me rephrase that before Whovian forumites dive in with their petty bickering…) Strictly has finally gone full DWTS. It was a long and winding road with loads of obstacles, but at last they’ve arrived.
    Throughout the whole show I was grinning in participation of the full recap. Monkseal I expect nothing less than your very, very, very best!

  7. Lesley Rigg

    I amazed, astounded and amused my partner by doing Len’s Argentine Tango speech almost word for word before he opened his mouth. ” Well I have been listening to it for about 6 years now darling, I should be able to ;-)”.

    I think that is the most consistently enjoyable Blackpool week yet (and a lot less gapping in quick-steps if you take my meaning), Almost everyone upped their game, from whatever level, barring poor Sunetra (who I chucked a few votes, along with Frankie, Trent (my love does seem to go on – and who doesn’t love a winking space paso?) and for the first time I think Mark and Simon.

    Lovely to see Johnny Ball in the audience, wonder whether he did a bit of warm up maths for the audience before things got going?

    Were a couple of those kids in the opening number acting as the pros the ones that were on the CIN special?

    …and Darcey, genuinely excited about stuff for a change. It must have been her introduction to deep fried doughnuts after so many years of dance led privation (cos remember she went to Brighton last year!), that sent all those hyper carbs to her brain!

    1. monkseal Post author

      Warm-up maths would be far more amusing and entertaining than the actual warm-up man, if it’s the same one I’ve had to bloody sit through.

  8. Miss Cavie

    Jake’s redemptive American Smooth was just plain weird. What’s with all the jerking and hopping around? It was as though Janette jabbed him with a cattle prod everytime he got into hold. Still, it was his designated comeback week so the judges raved about it anyway.

    Pixie was fabulous. A gladiator themed Paso, danced to The Eve of War, with Trent dressed as Avon from Blake’s 7 – what’s not to like!

    I love a good Argentine Tango, and Simon’s was one of the best. And no hair sniffing or choking to be seen. Though if I never hear Len wittering on about sweaty Pampers again it will be too soon.

    Judy is almost certainly toast, with the double whammy of decentish comments from the judges, and then the old “We’ve given the duffer a 7, so you can stop voting for her now”.

    All in all a pretty good week for almost everyone.

  9. Kim

    Monkseal, if you missed Desert Island Discs with poet John Agard, he talks about Iveta’s ‘butter to the heart’ comment!

  10. BeyonceCastle

    Wasn’t keen on the American smooth tonight from Jake or Steve…matter of taste I know but I like the ones that are more like Patrick’s last year.
    I was looking forward to the paso so so much because of the music that I was disappointed but poor poor Caroline…what the hell. The theming was shite, did Pasha think it was Wembley this year, the whole shake your tits at the guard I would expect from Alison, and the gurning with the nicking of the busby was excruciating. Says it all that she made ginger spice look good in the union flag. Please let her have One Nice Dress before being booted off, just one.

  11. Fenweasel

    Tess after Bruno had waxed particularly demented about Pixie and her gladiators: “He’s on the rock” sudden look of alarm as she realises what she’s just said “…he’s on a sugar high.” Mmm. Right.

  12. Dancing Cake

    Thank God I wasn’t the only one to to be underwhelmed by Jake this week. As “something entertaining to watch”, I enjoyed it but as “celeb (with real potential) dancing” I was baffled, and even more so by the judges’ praise. Were none of them watching JAKE? I think Janette is turning into former-Kristina, devising amazing, distracting dances based on no-one actually looking at her partner at any time. But the show in general was perfect for a Monkseal recap, I thought. Can’t wait for the full version …

  13. PerfectCustard

    Add me to the petition to stop forcing poor Caroline to wear ugly costumes every week. I don’t think I have ever seen such a determined effort by wardrobe to sink a contestant. Do they hate Pasha as well? (his outfits are just as bad)
    I was far more impressed by Simon than Jake, I thought his tango was superb.
    Judy will be leaving, and Anton made sure she got a fun dance to be her last. Going up with the balloons was a nice touch. Say what you will about Anton, he has been a perfect gentlemen to Judy. She has been a great sport about the comments.

  14. catherinehirst

    I guess I am the only one who really enjoyed Jake’s dance? It was a very unusual American Smooth, true, but I loved the quirky choreography and thought he acted the part really well. Matter of taste I suppose, but I loved it.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Let’s be honest, I’m sure the years that Iveta was 8 in slide around far more than the borders of the USSR ever did…


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