Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special 2014 Preview

Ho ho ho.

So they finally did it. They finally stopped trying to get us to believe that the likes of Su Pollard, Bobby Ball, Katy Brand and Elaine Paige (FOR THE FIFTIETH BLOODY TIME) were far too busy to commit to a full series, and have fallen back on that old reliable staple – the CLASH OF THE RETURNING TITANS. Except in the old days we genuinely used to get Strictly greats fighting it out for the Christmas Glitter-Star. Just imagine this year’s equivalent of those old titanic struggles – Natalie vs Denise vs Kimberly vs Louis vs Susanna vs Abbey. Or Kara vs Harry vs Matt vs Pamela vs Chelsee vs Jason. I’m positively salivating at the thought. JUST THINK WHAT THEY COULD DO! But no, what we’ve got instead is two of the less exciting winners, two losing finalists and two (*shudder*) “People’s Champions” all dancing with a (*shudder again*) panto theme. How many times can we watch a Rachel Stevens rumba score 39 in one lifetime I find myself asking. Is anyone really here for a Chris vs Sophie Festive Charleston-Off except with him dressed as a snowman and her dressed as Abanazer?

At least the pros will be happy. Tristan (partnered with Rachel Stevens) and Aliona (partnered with Louis Smith) both have their first hot young things in years and Aljaz gets pretty much the exact opposite in temperament and appearance of Alison Hammond – Sophie Ellis-Bextor. It’s always nice to have a change isn’t it? As long as he doesn’t go back to being the mute decorative slab he was with Abbey, hoorah. Russell Grant is a step up from Scott Mills for Joanne (although let’s face it, spending Christmas Day having to watch whatever ITV sharts out would be a step up from Scott Mills), and heck even the thought of Iveta and Chris Hollins (*countdown to a “The Hollins & The Ivy” joke*) is…weirdly appealing on a twisted sort of surrealist level. Most ecstatic though must be Robin being returned to the arms of his Little Lisa From Manchester. Truly they have been apart for far far far too long. I only hope his back’s up to it…

So, for the sake of the pros, let’s rev our engines and answer the following question :


17 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special 2014 Preview

  1. John

    ‘Mon the Sophe! I’d like to think she does a Charlestone every now and then and wonders…

    I would pay to watch Louis and Aliona do a dirty filthy rhumba. Or more accurately, pay per view.. Yikes!

    1. tabithakitten

      I agree with the Louis/Aliona rumba (filthy or not) – I thought he’d do a decent blokerumba and was denied by virtue of the FUSION (which everyone claimed was the first blokerumba 10 and then the following year Patrick Robinson got the first actual blokerumba 10 lol).
      It might (I say might) also stop Rachel Stevens doing yet another fecking rumba (please let her do a tango – she’s brilliant at a tango).
      Sophie must do a Charleston and pound the hobbit into dust on the way.
      Lisa and Russell? Who gives a toss?

    2. monkseal Post author

      I think she’d struggle with parts of her Charleston alone. Maybe she uses a hat-stand to launch off, I dunno…

  2. Huriye

    I’m genuinely excited to see some of these couples, Louis & Aliona, Rachel & Tristan, and especially Aljaz & Sophie (who I voted for). 🙂

    But aren’t there going to be some height issues? Rachel is tiny compared to an apparently 6ft Tristan. And surely Iveta is taller than Chris Hollins? So no Classical Ballroom probably, and more Panto slapstick for those 2 couples.

    Though I hope Sophie & Aljaz dance a beautiful Ballroom, in American Smooth style. Infact the very Showdance that Brenda should’ve choreo’d for her, innit (not that he’d ever admit it).

    Monkseal, I’m already starting to think seriously about the Pro roster for 2015, even though we’re only halfway through this series. Could we have a Poll who we want to return, just to get it out there? (In the hope someone at the BBC, the Eville Producers, will take note).

  3. Agrippina

    I voted for Sophie and Aljaz on the basis that she was the only pro on the list who I still liked by the end of her time on the show. Really don’t want to see a reprise of any of Lisa Riley’s efforts, nor marvel at the woodenness of Louis again. I’d never actually thought of how pissed off Brenda would be if “this girl” won something with another pro, but that would indeed be awesome and only confirms that I was correct to vote for Sophie…

    1. monkseal Post author

      The sad thing is that even if she did win we wouldn’t get to see his angry angry face. Unless they make it a red button option (*please*)

  4. Ross

    Dream Dance Roster:

    Sophie & Aljaz: Charleston (nothing else will even be close to acceptable)
    Rachel & Tristan: Tango (please no 39/40 Rumba, there’s only so many iterations I can take)
    Louis & Aliona: Rumba (SSSSSSEEEEEEXXXXXX)
    Chris & Iveta: Foxtrot (Charleston is not a safe option, you guys…)
    Lisa & Robin: Cha-Cha-Cha (well…)
    Russel & Joanne: Samba (his would’ve actually been ok first time round if he didn’t go wrong)

  5. BeyonceCastle

    The Hollins and the Ivy
    When the Xmas Special’s shown
    Of all the slebs slumming in this show
    The Hollins wears the crown
    O the gurning of the Clifton
    And the gurning of Li-sa
    The displaying of Louis’ organ
    Bad singing from the choir
    The Hollins and the Ivy
    Not as good as Ola no
    Will be what James will be tweeting
    In his review of the show
    O the pouting from Ms Stevens/
    /Tristan/Robin delete here
    Are available direct online
    In a scam from Iveta
    The Hollins and the Ivy
    Will be third place is my guess
    Beaten by Aljaz and Sophie
    Or by Russell in a dress
    O the jealousy of Brenda
    As his tight trews turn him puce
    Match the rictus grin from Te-ss
    As she’s putting up with Bruce
    The Hollins and the Ivy
    In a battle celeb spesh
    Will be about as sexy
    As a Tham-and-brother sesh
    The indifferent Aliona
    As she’s matched up with a q_ (joke redacted for legal and don’t think white straight women can own that word;-) reasons)
    And the mighty Monkseal’s recap
    Will always bring me cheer Xxx

    Happy preview Christmas everybody!


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