Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 7 Performance Summary

So I’m not really sure how to recap a non-theme show any more, because I forgot that they occasionally don’t have one, so let’s try these on for size.

Heart FM Daytime Playlist Week : Bobby Darin, The Commodores, Frank Sinatra, John Legend, Barrie Manilow, Connie Francis, The Beatles and Kings Of Leon. Nuff said. It comes to something when Judy Murray is bringing the SUBVERSIVE EDGE, with a paso doble to The Clash to “I Fought The Law” in which she is Judge Judy (no really) sentencing Anton to several years hard labour for unnecessary lifts. Well if Len et al aren’t going to do it… It’s hard to tell which is the most mawkish, but I do know that Sunetra doing a cheesy foxtrot to “All Of Me”, Caroline doing a cheesier waltz to “Three Times A Lady” and Mark doing a SUPER ULTIMATE MEGA-CHEESY WALTZ to “Weekend In New England” complete with a whole coppice’s worth of foliage thrown at him at the end (all three getting the same score by the way), is too much for my tastebuds to stand. Cheese upon ham upon sugar upon oil upon diabetes.

Relatives Week : Whilst Baby Warz has been a relatively subdued affair until this week, something in the Week 7 air sends the floodgates tumbling open and out fall Alison’s son, JUDY’S BETTER SON (YUSSSS), Simon’s mum, Pixie’s grand-dad and various odds and sods from various obscure branches of Caroline’s family tree. In Alison and Simon’s cases it appears to have spurred them on to their most crowd-pleasing performances yet. I’m slightly sad, because Alison’s zone for pleasing the audience appears to be just to go full Lisa Riley in her Charleston, which is full of side-by-side and what can only be described as “Jazz Boobs”. Simon though gets his best reception yet for marrying his natural frenetic dance style to the quickstep, producing a very upbeat and glamtastic routine indeed, even if he is still not quite sure when he’s supposed to take Kristina’s hand or not. Pixie’s granddad on the other hand only prompts disinterest in the public, as Pixie’s very retro foxtrot comes across as a little too musical theatre for them (and me to be honest), which they clearly have to be practically be Taser’d to their feet after.

THE FRONT-RUNNERS HAVE CHANGED Week : Caroline’s slumming it is signposted, as is Simon’s grabbing the baton of “MAN WHO ISN’T JAKE WHO MIGHT WIN DESPITE HAVING BEEN IN THE BOTTOM TWO!” away from Mark, but it’s not a great week for a lot of the presumptive finalists. Frankie’s samba disintegrates into a hideous mish-mash soup of her paso and her cha cha, and Jake does a really frigid rumba dressed as Captain Bidrseye with horribly over-exaggerated hips. It might be concerning if it weren’t the most obvious “oh no the male front-runner screwed up with a blokerumba AIYEEEEEE!” narrative deployment of all time. Oh and speaking of which :

IT’S HARD FOR THE MALE CELEBRITIES Week : Seriously Len, can it.

Everyone Watches Steve & Ola Extra Closely To Try To Work Out If They Hate One Another Week : Thanks a lot Daily Mail, you ruin everything! His shirtless paso doble is erm…well there’s no other way to describe it other than incredibly camp, but unfortunately this week isn’t really about that for them, even in the Pimp Slot, oh well.



28 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 7 Performance Summary

  1. Lesley Rigg

    Found myself yelling “take a look at Austen’s Paso if you want to see macho sunshine” at Steve. Have to lighten up on the Chenin before that programme ends!

    Poor Mrs Bridge, I suspect she’s slow to make friends and let go and this week on ITT I thought she and Kevin were very sweet, and showing genuine friendship. She looked devastated at what was still considerably better than a lot of the others. if it was a producer ploy to make sure she was safe I dont think anyone told her!

    Austen woz robbed incidentally…..

  2. Huriye

    You summed it up perfectly Monkseal, though missed the DM gossip in a busy week, so will pop over there to catch up asap. :-0

    Thank Gawd for Blackpool Tower Ballroom next week and PROPER DANCE FANS instead of the endless TV Luvvies in the audience for whom the subtlety and beauty and sophistication of Trent & Pixie’s Foxtrot went over their heads. I thought it delightful. Musical Theatre is certainly her calling, as in Acting & Dance she shows real talent, whereas Singing not so much. Red is definitely her colour, she looked divine with the 40s hairdo. So pretty! 🙂

    Infact Wardrobe stole the show tonight. I loved almost ALL the dresses, and coveted them all, Caroline’s being the exception, naturally, it’s a given now, Wardrobe will stitch her up every week. I docked her a point for showing off the tattoo on her back in the macrame’d top Vicky Gill finally succeeded in foisting on someone. Tatoos and a romantic Waltz just don’t go together in my world, sorry. And why didn’t the Judges comment on her obvious mishap at the end? Didn’t she fall off her spin with leg not staying cocked in the air, she put it down quickly, presumably to balance, as we’d seen it done beautifully on ITT training footage.

    Agree Simon was very good, and thank gawd for a Swing Standard Gershwin Classic for a Quickstep and not a Pop song with endless trotting for once! YAY! 😀 His fast individual hand/arm movements are so eye catching, if only he was as good when in hold with Kristina.

    LOL at them dragging in random kids this series. Caroline’s nieces, Scott’s niece, I’m expecting next door neighbours’ kids with Mark next week, followed by Steve’s long lost offspring he fathered in the Amazon Jungle and is paying maintenance for.
    In other words, the VTs took a serious dive in quality this week and were mostly tosh, except for Pixie’s Cockney Grandad in the Ballroom in Rememberence Week with a lovely B&W photo of her Nan.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I think if Trent and Bruno touched, the universe would explode for Unstoppable Flail meeting Immovable Stonedness reasons.

  3. Isolde

    Let’s be honest. We’ve all been waiting for Andy to put in a appearance haven’t we? And his mixture of affection and embarrassment was a joy to watch. In ten years’ time, with head judge Anton, and presenter Alison Hammond, I look forward to Andy taking part.

    1. missfrankiecat

      Frankly, after watching Andy’s very amusing collaborations with Richard Ayoade for Cancer Relief, and enjoying the general feel-good factor of Judy’s Strictly efforts, I’m looking forward to a sitcom “Murray Family Values”. As Mr Murray is always a shadowy figure, Uncle Anton will be standing in as the patriarch and we will see more of the shortbread baking Nan and the improbably glamorous girlfriend. It will be a cross between Everyone Loves Raymond, The Royale Family and The Waltons.

      1. Chris

        I want this to happen so badly! And plus we get bitter unloved brother Jamie, and Amelie Mauresmo as the comedy Frenchwoman. And Alison Hammond as the neighbour, just because.

  4. Chris

    This was truly a WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ NIGHT, wasn’t it? At least we’ve only got two prospective male rumbas left this series, although it won’t make much difference – even tying your shoelaces is harder for the men now.

    I hope Frankie went into a rage-spiral and smashed up the entire studio afterwards with that bat. That was some miserable anger on her face.

    1. missfrankiecat

      See, I thought KFG and Brendan (oh how he coverts KFG’s partner) were being sweet and considerate in giving her a prop to distract her/hide her distress but maybe they were more Machiavellian and going for all out mayhem.

      1. Lesley Rigg

        oh no, not Brendan and Mrs Bridge. He would have smothered “his girl” he needs someone who will push back at him like Sunetra. Pinata moment was v funny. Maybe they need one or a punch bag up there every week for whoever gets a pasting

      2. monkseal Post author

        I think the problem with SUnetra “pushing back” is there actually has to be a presence there for her to be pushing.

      3. Huriye

        What a contrast in how Zoe dealt with Frankie being upset, and how Tess used to stoke the fires of misery and focus right on it with no tact. Zoe was so gentle and distracting and then gave her a supportive hug. Cue Tess down on Studio Floor, immediately mentions it!

      4. Chris

        All I’m saying is she was whacking that pinata seriously hard. I think I saw murder in her eyes for a moment.

      5. Chris

        Regardless of whether Judy makes it to the final or not, this should be this year’s Monkseal Fairytales (Monkseal Sitcoms?)

  5. Gusty Gusset

    Jake’s blokerumba – I had to watch it through my fingers, it was so cringemaking. Please don’t let him be in the bottom two as I don’t think I can cope with watching it again. I’ve had to get a pile of scatter cushions ready to hide behind, just in case.

    1. monkseal Post author

      The public are always understanding of a blokerumba if it’s bad enough. Unless there’s a magic carpet involved.

  6. Marie

    There’s a joke just dying to be made about Caroline, her ex-boyfriends and KID WARZ but I’m far too nice to make it. *ahem*

  7. Agrippina

    Pasha was adorable in the VT this week. Just sitting on the floor with a load of random kids sprawled across his lap. He’s much more patient than I would be if I was expected to cuddle someone else’s offspring for the purposes of BABY WARZ.

    I loved Pixie and Trent this week, despite Trent’s dubious acting skills, but still think Mark is a complete tit. Caroline is being ruthlessly underscored. And even though Judy is undoubtedly the worst person left in the competition, I still think her paso was worth more than 3 from Craig. She’s so charming and gracious in the face of the judges’ snideness – I’d probably cry if someone was that nasty to me on national TV. Judy to win!


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