Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 6 Results Summary

This week’s Haunting Results Show Hallowe’en Pro Dance (as opposed to the All-Out Performance Show Camp Fest Pro Dance) is a contemporary infused paso based around Sleeping Beauty danced to Beyonce. Janette is the innocent virginal princess, Aljaz is Prince Phillip, and Kristina is Maleficent. Because this is a bold modern dark fairy tale there are pleasantly chubby little fairies singing Bippity Boppity Boo sadly, just a load of gimp hoods and chewing the air. This is still better than this year’s Hallowe’en Guest Singer, who is Annie Lennox. She does a very special tribute to Tim Wonnacott’s Goodbye Dance which NO PRO DANCERS ARE ALLOWED TO IMPINGE ON, so convinced is Annie of her own compellingness. She honks out a boring version of “I Put A Spell On You” whilst jigging like Ellen DeGeneres with sand in her vagina. BRING BACK BOY GEORGE, ALL IS FORGIVEN.

This week’s “THAT’S CLAUDIA!” is hosted by Zoe Ball and features Alison’s mum (cheerful, proud, liddle bit tipsy), and Scott’s mum (vengeful). Zoe doesn’t quite carry it off with the same panache Claudia did, but there IS a handsome guy with a beard in the front row, so I’m easily satisfied. Zoe also takes over Len’s Glans, which features yet another segment where they just laugh at Scott’s face, and Len and Darcey both demonstrating the paso doble in such mind-numbing detail that Bruno sabotages the whole thing on purpose to make it stop.

Our spooky Bottom 2? It’s another SHOCK…apparently being applied to Karen Hauer’s genitals as she gibbers around like a woman possessed when declared safe. The people in actualdanger though are, for once, greeted by no gasps of horror and despair, as Scott and Alison face off with Scott going home, despite a bizarre last ditch attempt by Len to save him.

The highlight of the whole show though is Kevin taking the piss out of Mark Wright’s emotional incontinence. And so say all of us.


27 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 6 Results Summary

    1. monkseal Post author

      As Anton’s foremost and only sane defender in that bear-pit I refuse to believe that liking Kevin Clifton and Judy Murray, both of whom are reasonably popular is what has pushed you over into pariah status.

  1. Elaine

    Why is Judy consistently marked below Scott? Thank the stars, he’s gone now. Predict Frankie for the win, as her “normal girl” persona is winning the GBP over. And they suspect Caroline is a dirty slag…

  2. John

    With Scott going I think we may see some more predictable eliminations for a few weeks – Judy, Simon, Steve and Sunetra, maybe even in that order.

    How date you say those true things about Annie Lennox! Hearing her yell out a soulless version of a classic while doing drunken mum dancing made me morose. I had to watch this so I could remember why I love her. Legend!

    1. Matt Clemson

      I broadly agree, but I’m not sure about Sunetra. I feel that almost everything was against her tonight – on first, no immediate ‘hook’, mid-table scoring – but she still had enough support to end up safely outside the bottom two. It’ll depend how she does over the next few weeks, but I think she’s capable of making it to December.

      Now watch her be a shockboot as she gets stuck in the bottom two with Pixie.

      1. monkseal Post author

        Sunetra’s motoring along nicely but I can’t help but think that at some point they’re going to fall behind if Brendan doesn’t do a better job at least pretending to be invested.

    2. monkseal Post author

      Annie Lennox stopped being amazing in 2001 and has never shown a solitary sign of regaining her form ever since.

      1. Min

        I’ve nothing against the Great American Song Book as such – it’s just that it crops up at least 2 or 3 times a Strictly year in the Great Lazy Christmas Album Bonanza by people who should really know better.

  3. Malar

    I swear, if I hear “Frankenstein!” during any further results shows I’ll banish the Clifton boy to that little part of my mind I reserved for Sir Brucie. To be honest, I want Frankie and that boy to be in the bottom two just so he doesn’t bloody shout it again. It’s getting so, so old.

    But anyway, did anyone notice how Kevin shouted that bloody word and him and Frankie hugged, then neither of them could meet each other’s eyes after? I wonder if Frankie’s threatened him with castration if he shouts it again (ie she feels the same as me) or if summat else is going on there. *saucy wink, in typical showmance gossiper fashion*

    1. phoebefair

      No, but I did yell ‘He’s sniffing her hair!!’ in an indignant, outraged, Mary Whitehouse fashion when their dance started on Saturday night. But please, no more saucy gossip. Poor Wayne Bridge has had enough humiliation via his women for one lifetime.

  4. mimms

    I think you might as well abandon any poll for Best Safety Sex Face, as Karen has won it hand down. (Although you will need a video to capture the entire Ryan-ness of it)

  5. Miss Cavie

    Thank heavens the Great British Public has finally put Scott out of his misery.

    I want Judy to make it to Blackpool. She’s doing Paso next week apparently, which has the potential to be glorious.

    They should just ditch Len’s Glans and have a section devoted entirely to KFG taking the piss out of everyone – much better.

  6. Beyonce Castle

    Didn’t think Alison deserved to be there.
    Monkseal you should be on mastermind with Strictly as your specialist subject…just watched Katya Gavin quickstep, totally forgotten that. Excellent slogging there 🙂
    Having Disney as my speciality however (two daughters, goes with territory regretfully) Xtina was being the Evil Queen from Snow White hence crowny as opposed to horny (insert own joke here) and the red apple.
    Why Janette was so excited to be playing Snow White is anyone’s guess unless it was to revert from type (miaow!)
    We were therefore in need of Dwarves (insert Janette and seven men joke here) rather than fairies (Flora Fauna and Merryweather from Cinderella, am ashamed I don’t need to look that up).
    Aljaz therefore is just Prince albeit a bit taller.
    Sorry if I just won pedant’s corner.
    Can I do my favourite Disney joke again which doesn’t include Nazis?
    As told by Anton doing his Scots accent.
    What’s the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
    Bing sings. Walt Disnae.
    Getting. My. Coat.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Maleficient/Wicked Queen/Evil Stepmother, s’all the same to me. I just presumed she was being whatever there’d been a film about recently.

  7. BeyonceCastleiswatchingtoomuchstrictly

    Just seen the results show for the first time in all its glory…bless whoever put it up (though ms Lennox got edited out). Things you miss out on by just seeing the dances alone…

    Cute Pasha ruffling Caroline’s affro
    Simon looking totally it’s gonna be me in the first set of results then later looking really hacked off before realising wasn’t him doing the DO
    Anton’s glee at getting another week and joke in end credits
    (His kindness and her honesty may well keep them in)
    Aljaz getting flapped in the face with white dress in the redance
    Alison’s gurning being deliberate: was it meant to be her best ghost impression?
    I watched out for beardy man and concur 😉

    They really do milk the ooh it’s not still Saturday honest it’s not don’t they?
    But by mentioning ON SATURDAY as opposed to YESTERDAY/last night it sounds even more stupid. No wonder Andy Murray ain’t playing. He’ll go if his agent tells him to but for his poor old mam no chance. Ungrateful bugger. Duh muuummm you’re an embarrassment. Just wanna chill. Feck off yer wee bawbag and go support yer ma.
    I didn’t see any improvements in the dance offs at all but agree it was Scott’s best dance to go out on so good on him. Quite liked him as a baldy bastard. Think both him and Judy knew/know that the DO is just a formality if either in bottom 2: you could see Scott was resigned to it really.
    Not really seeing any footage of the slebs apart from the odd bit of training Scott Jake and Simon don’t seem to come over very well..humourless/serious. Brendan/Xtina decidedly meh.
    Judy/Mark humorous…particularly the latter as KFG accused HIM of over-emoting. Pot? Kettle? I saw that tango.

  8. MorticiaA

    Could the producers be any more obvious in their attempt to yank Mark into the final as the (shush, J word, shush) contestant? Lens Glans seemed very skewed to his amazing prowess as a non ringah. If “Hot Lip Hauer’s” reaction to being saved this week is anything to go by, I fear for the collective GB ear drum in the shudderingly awful event that he snatches the gli-ah ball from one of the girly front runners. Jake seems to be slipping slightly off the radar, and I remain unconvinced that Simon can pull himself back into contention while most of his dances involve fending off Kristina’s venus fly trap.
    I was almost saddened by Alison’s assertion that she nevah evah wanted to be in the DO again. Oh, babes, if you can’t wow the voters with Kate Bush, a chiffon-esque gurn fest and Aljaz’s bum in those trousers, your days are surely numbered. I predict she’ll be in the DO at least twice more, to take out Judy, then to depart herself in Blackpool week against one of the middlers. No bounce back story here, babes.

    1. monkseal Post author

      But Mark’s journey may come to an end this week as he has the dreaded WALTZ. He’s NEVER DONE A SLOW DANCE BEFORE IT COULD ALL GO HORRIBLY WRONG.

      Meanwhile : Jake does a rumba dressed as Captain Birdseye.


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