Your Movie Week Results show begins with Natalie Lowe dressed up as a demonic Mary Poppins doin’ the ol’ bamboo with Kevin Clifton as Bert, across the rooftops of Victoria London. I can’t stand Mary Poppins, but it’s all worth it for the visual gag of Claudia popping out of a chimney doing her eye make-up with a sweep’s broom. I think. That and the sight of Kevin trying to lift Natalie and have it looked stylish and planned and professional because LOL she’s twice the size of him. We also get a pro routine later from Anton and Joanne to Donny singing Moon River. This marks the 10,000th time in his life that Anton has danced to Moon River and he is showered with ticker-tape and gets a book full of Nandos vouchers in celebration.
Len’s Glans this week focuses on how amazing Frankie’s paso was, how…themed Mark’s paso was, how Steve and Scott pretending to be animals has left a nation of children scarred, and Anton making scary hooting noises at Judy as he lifted/hauled her at the end of their Quickstep. Oh and Darcey explains to us all how to work a camera-phone. MAKE SURE IT’S IN LANDSCAPE GUYS!
The big news of the night though is that we’re getting our first SHOCK BOTTOM 2 APPEARANCE a little earlier than usual, as Simon and Kristina find themselves in the Bottom 2. They spend the rest of the night competing to see who can act the most put out about it, following Darcey Bussell as a pacemaker who blithers about how it is AN ABSOLUTE TRAVESTY despite the fact that on the night she only marked them 1 point higher than Judy Murray and a grown man dressed as a crab doing the Rock Lobster dance. She can’t even maintain the outrage long enough to pretend his rumba was any cop on Len’s Lens. You reap what you sew Darcey.
In the Bottom 2 with them, and therefore leaving are Jennifer and Tristan, meaning we’ll never get to see Tristan’s Safety Sex-Face. Is that not really a bigger travesty than Simon being in the bottom 2? Really? Think on it.