Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 2 Results Summary

First Results Show of the series and the bones are all there, just in a slightly different configuration. We no longer open on the pro dance (a swirlaround to “Let It Go” from Frozen complete with frosty make-up, backwards-playing video trickery and a very fraught looking Janette wedged up in a sky hankie flailing around like a pigeon trapped in a washing line) – instead it’s stuck after the first results reveal. The judges still dance on but…a little less exuberantly. The recap of last night’s events are still here, but they’re jumbled up chronologically so that it appears that the evening ended with Thom’s indifferent salsa lol can you imagine that getting the pimp slot, seriously?

The contestants still make extravagantly orgasmic faces when they’re told they’re safe, but now some of them have started making dirty noises as well. Len’s Lens is still active and still used more for poking fun at people’s silly dance faces (SCOTT) than technical critique or discussion but now there’s a segment where people send in cutesy videos of their adorable children dancing along at home which I will be IGNORING UTTERLY because it felt bad enough making fun of the children of Apprentice Babies and they were mostly a seething Thatcherite mass of protean evil. The guest performers are here (Jamie Cullum & Gregory Porter) but now they’re allowed to keep their hats on because they’ve kept the car running outside.

Some things however, remain the same. Bye Aliona. If you hadn’t thrown yourself down the stairs rather than partner Johnny Ball this would have made it the third time in a row. Enjoy Florida.

(Oh yeah, and Gregg is eliminated as well, in the dance-off against Jennifer.)


10 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 2 Results Summary

  1. detectivesandsidekicks

    Which of the male pros was it who zoomed across the screen backwards? I’ve watched that bit about four times and I can’t for the life of me figure out who it was. Actually, I couldn’t distinguish the blonde female pros this week (except Natalie because I love her haircut) from one another, which is worrying as I pride myself in my ability to recognise a pro from the back of their head.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I’ll check when I recap but I did love that one pro in the background just running up and down the stairs over and over again.

  2. Neio

    Yeah, what was that choreography with Janette dangling from the ceiling all about? It did not look good.

    I’m kind of surprised Jennifer was in the bottom two, if only because the viewing figures for Mrs Brown’s Boys might suggest she’d have more of a following. I hope she sticks around a bit longer, as Tristan’s gorgeous.

    1. Isolde

      Janette’s legs were kicking so hard I genuinely thought she was being hanged.

      Poor Greg. He never got to do a nice ballroom dance, which he might have been OK at. Even Tim managed to look not completely useless in his waltz.

  3. Fenweasel

    Has Darcy had some clause added to her contract insisting that she is the only halfway well-dressed woman on the show? Last week Claudia was in a length of badly-cut, hi-viz tubogrip, yesterday’s resultsTess appeared to be wearing a doily pinched off a table at a funeral wake, and Ola appears to have been randomly coated in the shredded remains of James’s contract. Meanwhile Darcy has been turned out in the BBC’s idea of late-50s Hitchcock heroine cocktail dresses.

    Bruno’s expression as Gregg was sent off to do his farewell stagger around the floor was brilliant (all “yeah yeah, whatevs, hasn’t he fucked off yet?”) and you can actually see him checking his watch. Because he really ahs so many better things to do than hang around the Strictly set a second longer than he needs to.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I honestly think Tess has been dressed quite well on the whole this series but those tits last night were something else. They looked like a drag-queen’s breastplate.


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