First Results Show of the series and the bones are all there, just in a slightly different configuration. We no longer open on the pro dance (a swirlaround to “Let It Go” from Frozen complete with frosty make-up, backwards-playing video trickery and a very fraught looking Janette wedged up in a sky hankie flailing around like a pigeon trapped in a washing line) – instead it’s stuck after the first results reveal. The judges still dance on but…a little less exuberantly. The recap of last night’s events are still here, but they’re jumbled up chronologically so that it appears that the evening ended with Thom’s indifferent salsa lol can you imagine that getting the pimp slot, seriously?
The contestants still make extravagantly orgasmic faces when they’re told they’re safe, but now some of them have started making dirty noises as well. Len’s Lens is still active and still used more for poking fun at people’s silly dance faces (SCOTT) than technical critique or discussion but now there’s a segment where people send in cutesy videos of their adorable children dancing along at home which I will be IGNORING UTTERLY because it felt bad enough making fun of the children of Apprentice Babies and they were mostly a seething Thatcherite mass of protean evil. The guest performers are here (Jamie Cullum & Gregory Porter) but now they’re allowed to keep their hats on because they’ve kept the car running outside.
Some things however, remain the same. Bye Aliona. If you hadn’t thrown yourself down the stairs rather than partner Johnny Ball this would have made it the third time in a row. Enjoy Florida.
(Oh yeah, and Gregg is eliminated as well, in the dance-off against Jennifer.)