Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 1 Performance (1) Summary

We’re back! With new credits complete with comedy skits based around Tim kicking, Scott mouthing obscenities, Thom almost dropping Iveta on her face and Allison being REALLY FAT LOL. This will be the beginning of a long and slightly awkward process wherein the show tries to sort out where it’s going to put all the end-of-the-pier comedy weight that’s been displaced with the departure of Bruce, whilst making sure NONE OF IT RESTS ON TESS AT ANY TIME. The culmination of all this loose farce sloshing around is a floor manager sprinting around the Judges Desk right at the end of the episode a la Benny Hill. I hope it was because Hot Greg gave her a shove out there and then laughed and laughed and laughed…

So last year’s first performance show featured five of the ultimate Final Seven of the series. This time around…maybe not so much. The whole night separated neatly into two races, the race to the top and the race to the bottom. Anton’s bottom specifically, as the entirety of his waltz was spent with the whole audience on the edge of their seats (looking for their sick bag) hoping against hope that his kilt would STAY DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Judy looked more terrified than anyone. The judges tried to make out it was first night nerves, but we all know it was fear of THE CURSE. Also going for the comedy vote were Tim (on purpose, in an auction themed routine that looked a bit like Quentin Wilson had spent the last 10 years practising and not got much better) and Scott (…maybe by mistake? Maybe? Maybe Joanne can explain what she was going for choreographing a contemporary routine based around a gay mid-life crisis, on It Takes Two, I can’t wait to find out). Personally I found Scott the most cacklesome, but opinions may vary.

In the saunter to the top (not a sprint, don’t want to look too much like you’re trying to win yet tum ti tum) Caroline probably makes the best start if you’re sick of Dances With Stories, as she does the only routine of the night without overbearing theming, doing a Series Starting Cha Cha in a golden shower of a dress to The Jackson Five, punching her arms about like the hen party is just! getting! started! If you’re a fan of semi-surprising ringers (because lets face it, he at least went to Sylvia Young come on) then you were probably pleasantly warmed by Jake Wood coming out and doing a decent tango to Britney Spears. To be honest, after last year, you can sense the audience is even more surprised than Janette is involved in something non-horrific. Finally if you’re a fan of Ashlee Simpson’s hoe-down on Saturday Night Live then Pixie’s jive is for you, as it breaks down at the midway point to let her just awkwardly jig her arms and legs about and then accidentally flash her knickers to the nation. It’s a flaw! Not quite Kara falling on her bum dressed as a community theatre Catwoman but it’s something! She might not be a total Bott!

Tomorrow : the rest of them and hopefully they just let Claudia dress in black again already because she looked like she wanted to die out there in hot pink.

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17 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 12 – Week 1 Performance (1) Summary

  1. Minxy

    Oh gawd (- I really want to swear; I don’t do religion so …) do I have to watch the intro now? I missed the floor manager – but now I want to see it lol. Damn you!

    Grrr at the positioning of the MITH! That made me so extremely cross! And being cross, let alone extremely, is much more intense than merely pissed off for me! I hope that you feel the same and refuse to acknowledge the curved guy by name again until we get TMITH back in his rightful position. Grr.
    I still waved to TMITH but dunno if he saw me since he was so far away ( but at least we knows we waved still, since we know he reads the blog lol – I think the curved man does too; jealousy in such a grown man is so meh; conductors get paid more anyway)
    Yes it is totally YOUR fault that I actually do wave at him from my sofa!
    And I value TMITH much more than Shimmy Jimmy (who I don’t miss at all lol)

    And yep, Jo is definitely Karen Mk11! She may not have reached full KH levels yet but she definitely does that “bend forward swing arms, clicking fingers” move at KH levels. And I am kinda surprised at the warm and fuzzy I got from that cognition. I must have missed it more than I realised. But then I used to like KH! Used to being the operative words
    Does anyone know the name of that move?

    And how bloody awful are the judges speshul, sexy spotlight moves on their intro. Bloody hell they were BADDDD and not in a good way! They were not as good as some of the contestants
    And they were professional dancers at some point!?!?!?!?
    And yet they drag the contestants as they do?
    Can we mark them?
    I wouldn’t be awarding 7s for sure!

    Yes I am loving Jake more… (I don’t watch EE but he is delightful .. Despite and because of babywarz)

    And, but … did… wtf … did Aliona actually do flirty eyes with Greg at one point? I remember seeing something and going WTF did I really see that! But I do need to look again …

    Loved seeing Claud’s eyes … Bugger the pink dress. She changed her fringe!!!!!!
    I like the new fringe more than the pink dress. She has the figure for much more than she normally wears (as she showed after being bridesmaid for Vic C -that was the best she has ever looked before) and I hope they build on it while she keeps her character!

    Tess? Not quite missing NotDead yet … But …

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      The floor manager was running about during Pixie’s scores, if you’re looking for her. Or at least the back of her head as she sprints away.

      Reply
  2. kikishua

    Tess clearly hasn’t yet reached the skillful banter co-ordination levels which are required if she wants to butt in when any of the judges are talking. There were some seriously awkward moments with her speaking over them. Perhaps due to nerves?

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      It did seem like none of the judges had been told whether they were allowed to engage with Tess’ whitterings or not. Also Bruce always had the confidence to just keep shouting until someone acknowledged him (Poor Wilnelia).

      Reply
  3. Neio

    Never mind Claud’s dress, what happened to her makeup? It looked like someone had had a go at her with a wet flannel before she went on camera. It just wasn’t the same without seeing her peering through more eyeliner than Jack Sparrow.

    I liked Caroline and Pixie’s routines (Caroline more than Pixie if I’m honest). As for Scott, oh dear. Still, it was nice to see him acknowledge his boyfriend (is that the same boyfriend he used to call “my flat mate, the comedian” on the radio I wonder?). And I love Joanne already.

    Jake was surprisingly good I thought. And from the little we saw, I think Thom might be good at ballroom.

    Reply
  4. missfrankiecat

    Maybe our expectations are all out of kilter these days. Tim, Judy and Scott are total beginners at dance from what we know. Caroline, Pixie and Jake have all learnt, at its most basic, movement to music for at least three years at their respective stage schools. People who don’t actually dance much maunder on that anything less than formal ballroom dancing training makes no difference but it really shouldn’t be rocket science to understand the progress that can be made with a true beginner in three weeks is strictly limited compared to those who have been exposed to performing to music and learning routines for years. The really interesting partnership is Iveta and Thom as he is the only celeb from what I have seen who is a true beginner and doesn’t look it.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Honestly I thought Judy wasn’t bad bad until she forgot what she was doing at the end, Tim was doing what he could within the limitations of his body and experience and Scott was just bad. Of the other three Jake exceeded my expectations, Caroline met them, and Pixie fell short of them. After 11 series I kind of think I know what to expect from contestants given their “type”.

      Also I have suspicions about how Thom got to be in a boyband touring with some fairly big names if he WASN’T a little bit after-school-theatre-group but I’m cynical like that.

      Reply
      1. missfrankiecat

        Your cynicism is no doubt spot on – I thought he just gigged a few times with a mate. Sigh – I long for another Ramps/Healey/Lewis/Jackson who actually learns to dance decently from scratch on this programme rather than a bunch of professionals perfecting and extending their existing skills along side the ‘comedy’ acts who are jeered at for being hopeless on DS. But I am living in the past ….

      2. monkseal Post author

        I blame everyone who voted for Jill to win over Denise. They set the tone. (Harry was working from fairly close to scratch wasn’t he?)

  5. Sue Howarth

    I thought Judy looked beautiful and she created a few shapes that worked well. She is totally loving the experience, I had hoped she might be a bit better. She might be more of a hyper Latin type than a graceful romantic
    Very pleased I called out Jake, based on a single photo with a wonky smile. Also pleased for Janette we can enjoy her more this year
    Loved Caroline
    Pixie is really irritating and Trent doesn’t redeem this much. I also was expecting more really, just didn’t like the dance or music very much
    I found Scott a bit arrogant, sort of “No I cannot dance, what do you expect”. Arrogant is probably the wrong word, but something less than the cute fun persona I expected. Joanna was glorious

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I remember Judy’s performance in the Car Crash Launch Show Group Dance and…I doubt Latin is going to be her thing much either.

      Reply

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