10 things I loved in this episode
1. The Controversy : So let’s get this out of the way now. The decision by Logo to censor out the “You’ve got She-Mail!” introduction to the reveal of each challenge. Whilst I understand BOTH the side that would rather they didn’t hear words commonly used as slurs against them and their community whilst trying to watch dumb reality tv regardless of “context” AND the side that knows that drag is so easily inherently viewed as offensive that it’d be best to draw a line against efforts to censor it now AND the side that thinks even if it is only a token gesture it’s worth acknowledging the T in LGBT occasionally AND the side that wishes everyone would just calm down and let them enjoy their reality show in peace…part of me does find it morbidly hilarious that people are getting SO aerated over a JINGLE. Like, people cancelling their cable subscriptions because they can’t have their precious JINGLE any more. I think Santino’s still going on twitter about it. BLESS YOU ALL.
2. Hungman : If the mini-challenges are going to be crap this series (seriously, when are there going to be puppets, can it be time for the puppets now please?) then yes, at least they should revolve around hot porn stars in tight-fitting underwear slowly turning around to reveal letters stuck on their arses. Dale Winton must be pissed that when this same concept was a round on Supermarket Sweep that he didn’t demand that it be done in exactly the same way. I was most impressed by Adore and Ben’s savant-like ability to guess the answer based off one letter being revealed, and am not entirely surprised that neither Joslyn nor Trinity answered a single question correctly.
3. Gumbo : I like gumbo.
4. Two Generations Of Cher : So this week’s main challenge was to present a talk show and interview special guest stars Chaz Bono (aka Cher’s son) and Georgia Holt (aka Cher’s mother). So obviously this show’s not even being subtle in its attempts to lure Cher onto the judging panel any more. I have faith that it will happen Ru, don’t worry, even if you have to actually lay a little trail of surgery to winkle her in, Hansel & Gretel style. Whilst I would have preferred a full array of guests for the queens to interview, potentially with the assignment being a prize for winning the mini-challenge (“Darienne, you will be interviewing Kelly Osbourne”), both Georgia and Chaz were interesting guests. Georgia for her mildly befuddled positivity (“I don’t know how to explain this to you dear, it was DURING THE DEPRESSION” <3) and greeting every joke with a “that’s funny!”, and Chaz for being utterly miserable the whole time. Sure it came across as harsh at times, but really it wouldn’t be an interview challenge without having to deal with someone answering “no” to every single question, only really paying attention to you if they fancy you, and spending most of the interview with a put-out sneer on their face. Darienne seemed to get the worst of it, with Chaz absolutely refusing to cede to Georgia’s belief that she was fun. MIDDLE OF THE PACK.
5. Joslyn Fox : Hard-Hitting Reporter : Let’s face it, this week’s challenge was fairly dull. If you thought we’d got rid of challenges where the aim is to be as dull and professional as possible with Absolut Image Czar Jeffrey Moran, then the joke’s on you, because Courtney and Ben and even a muzzled Bianca Del Rio made it clear that the road to victory here was light jokes, serious questions, and benign flattery. So thank God for Joslyn, getting right to the heart of the matter and asking an 86 year old woman her opinions on abortion, in the context of her last minute decision not to flush her own daughter. It’s kind of ironic that this week OF ALL WEEKS they aired a challenge where Ru and Santino and all the other queens lectured someone on the virtues of not being offensive (lol, Georgia Holt really should have realised that only she can choose to make herself a victim by choosing to be offended RIGHT SANTINO?), but I will say that up to that point and wrapping up the debris Joslyn actually to me came across like she most fit a chat-show host role? Maybe after getting some professional writers to clean up that “THE MAN WHO CAME OUT OF CHER’S VAGINA AND THE VAGINA THAT CHER CAME OUT OF!” mess, but I could definitely see Joslyn’s face on E! telling me to keep it foxy and wonking her boobs as I sped past to Hallmark and my precious Law & Order : SVU reruns. More than Courtney succeeding by eye-fucking anyway. Also, just to take my Joslyn Fox standom to the next level, was it really that much more inappropriate than :
“I lived during the Depression!”
“I HAD DEPRESSION ONCE!”
(Yes it is) (But still) (TeamJoslyn)
6. Animal Runway : The runway this week was animal themed, meaning that all the queens with money got to haul out their best gimmicky looks, and all the queens without got to trip down the runway looking like Coco Montrese’s CLASSIC Pulitzer Winning RuAnimal perfume commercial got an explosive enema. For the umpteenth week in a row, Bianca was clearly the best, producing a glamorous gown with a twist, rather than getting swamped by gimmicks and props. Leopardprint is nothing new but she pulled it off effortlessly, whilst still keeping her inherent Biancaness. I also enjoyed Darienne’s pacchyderm realness, Trinity looking like a turkey in the middle of getting shot and on an ironic level, Adore charging about in a face-cage looking a bit Bo Selecta. Well done on Michelle clapping and applauding for Ben though, after last week chiding him for hiding behind a costume and concealing his personality. You know, this week, when he wore an outfit that was the most costumey of anybody’s and you couldn’t even see his face until she reached the main stage.
7. Joslyn’s Survival : I cheered. From the second the episode started all the other queens were snitting about how Joslyn was on borrowed time, how her drag was unpolished, how she was just coasting, and how she was the Dida Ritz of this year’s competition (YOU COULD ONLY WISH TO DO A LIP-SYNC AS AMAZING AS DIDA DID THAT ONE TIME COURTNEY ACT, SHUT YOUR HOLE) it seemed like Joslyn was going home, and then that abortion mess happened, and then that runway outfit happened and it seemed inevitable. AND YET. Somehow Adore and Trinity were worse (admittedly Adore’s talk show performance was horrific – just saying “PARTY!” and reading jumbley words off a card idek) and had to lip-sync it out instead. I can’t wait for the abomination Joslyn comes up with for next week’s bridalwear makeover challenge. CANNOT WAIT. I hope it’s a suitably explosive end for yet another Sixth Place Goddess.
8. Straight-Up Cartwheels : This week’s lip-sync was created solely to appease Guest Judge and Dance Legend Paula Abdul, who had been hauled on to have a touching reunion with Adore, who she had previously judged on American Idol when he worked under the name of “Danny Noriega”. The show probably should have thought better of this, given that Paula couldn’t remember American Idol contestants ON AMERICAN IDOL, WHEN THEY WERE PERFORMING ON STAGE IN FRONT OF HER AT THAT MOMENT, let alone when dressed as a sex-panther 6 years later. Still, there’s always a special frisson when a judge watches a contestant lip-syncing one of their songs (see : Natalie Cole, Michelle Williams watching Akashia BREAK THE DAWN) and of all the queens present, Adore was the best placed to interpret the unfocused raw energy (to be polite about it) of “Vibeology”. It wasn’t my favourite lip-sync of the series so far (that would be Trinity’s “What A Man”) but it was certainly fun.
9. Trinity’s Apotheosis : It’s always nice when a contestant can go out happily and on their own terms, but Trinity’s unbidden speech of gratitude to RuPaul for teaching her to overcome her inner saboteur and love herself and SING OUT and all that was something else. It felt a bit like she was expecting to be carried off to heaven the minute she finished, possibly bourne on Courtney’s ange…I mean EAGLE wings. I’ll miss Trinity, especially as she was just finding her groove, but it probably is time to start thinking about the end game and how to fit four (Adore, Ben, Bianca, Courtney) into three (…the number of finalist positions available?)
10. The Panic : Untucked was a generally light-hearted affair this week, with the focus mostly being on Joslyn mildly fretting about having queered her pitch with Cher forever, Trinity’s blissed-out drift towards her inevitable end, Bianca calling Darienne out as a Shady Elephant, and Courtney talking about how she had an epiphany in a backalley that turned her life 360 (?). But the hightlight was undoubtedly when it was revealed that contestants were about to be shown footage of mystery contestants (digitised and with voices Joslyn’d) talking smack in confessional and then asked to guess who they were. In the end the footage was mostly benign, but the queens weren’t to know that, and their looks of ABSOLUTE PANIC when they thought it was about to be revealed what they’d been saying about the other contestants behind their backs was great. Like seven individual cockroaches scuttling for the back of the fridge.