Great British Bake-Off : The Great Sport Relief Bake-Off

This brief Sports Relief run of Great British Bake-Off left us with so many questions. Is there a point where conceivably we could become numb to Jason Gardiner-related Schadenfreude? Could Jane Horrocks be more brittle? Why was one of the challenges “make a pizza”? Who was that Alistair McGowan was doing an impersonation of? Who thought that Ed Byrne was an effective replacement for the joy of Mel & Sue? Was there any innuendo I would not make about Greg Rutherford’s ginger soldiers and oozing banana cream pie? Why is Jamelia? What happened that Victoria Pendleton was for once the sanest person in the room? Is there ANYTHING that Rochelle Saturday can do? Why was Helen Skelton’s Showstopper Cake designed by Jake & Dinos Chapman? Could I too win an episode of The Great British Bake-Off despite not being famous by shagging Richard Curtis? Could the third series of BBC sort-of-sitcom “The Trip” please revolve around Michael & Johnny Vaughan touring Britain’s tea-rooms and maybe discovering that they are long-lost brothers? Why, in a Sports Relief Bake-Off were there only three sportspeople, two of whom kind of sucked? Why did Doon Mackichan spend the whole episode wearing a winge?

But the most important unanswered question is…who won? They even referred to the four episode as heats and then…nothing. What were they warming up for? I wanted an all-out spoons-aloft baking war to round the whole thing off, to make up for the slightly soggy ending of the last series. Instead…we just faded off into the sunset. Well…NO. I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT. THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE DENISE/KIMBERLEY OR NATALIE/SUSANNA ALL OVER AGAIN! WE WILL HAVE A WINNER!

Said winner joins Anita Rani, and whoever won last year’s Celebrity Special Series. Let’s say it was Warwick Davis. *shrug*

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22 thoughts on “Great British Bake-Off : The Great Sport Relief Bake-Off

  1. stevenperkins

    Where’s the “Victoria was robbed” button? Because come on. She’d have walked it if she’d been in the fourth episode instead of the third one. Frankly, she’d have walked the third one if one of her rivals didn’t work for Comic Relief. PENDLEDRAMA WOZ ROBBED.

    Reply
  2. Diane

    Whilst I am delighted to see this and firmly believe We should have had an overall winner,

    I was looking on your page to see a recap of the voice, are we not getting it this year. I mean there is Kylie and serial stalker Ricky whilst bonkers Will is still on form , for get the competition so much fun to be had from the judges alone . PLEEEASE can we have voice recap.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I’ll be charitable to The Voice and say that I’m not recapping it because it’s coming so soon after Strictly.

      Reply
  3. Pops

    When they were showing the previews for the third ep, I didn’t recognise Emma Freud at all – I thought it was Vicki Michelle from ‘Allo, ‘Allo. Clearly, Celeb Bake Off is too classy for me.

    Reply
  4. Neio

    Greg Rutherford really is lovely isn’t he? After the PA on Strictly, it seems this is the year of hot ginger guys called Greg…

    The lack of a final for this really was silly wasn’t it? I guess they thought the funnier characters wouldn’t have got through to the final?

    I thought Omid Djalili was even worse than Ed Byrne as a stand-in for Mel & Sue. I’m amazed they didn’t get Sarah Millican to do it. She’s always going on about eating cake in her act, and let’s face it, much as I like her, she’s on everything else.

    Reply
    1. stevenperkins

      Yeah, looking at the poll, I think I can understand why there’s no final – what a bore-fest it would’ve been. Now Michael Vaughan/Greg Rutherford/PENDLEDRAMA/Rochelle from The Saturdays would’ve been a great line-up.

      Reply
      1. PosiePebbles

        Agree, but I’d change Rochelle for Jamelia, as long as the latter promised to hit the Amaretto early again.

        And, if we can’t have Mel and Sue, I’d want it presented by Michael Ball. I want the name-dropping, the giggling and – mostly – the PENDLEDRAMA-piss-taking all over again.

      2. PosiePebbles

        Oh, and the joys of Pendleton demonstrating how her ballroom was OK and why. Erm, OK, Vicks…

      3. stevenperkins

        Ah, but I was trying to go for one person from each heat, so Jamelia and PENDLEDRAMA couldn’t both be there, and PENDLEDRAMA will pretty much always be my first choice in any scenario.

    2. monkseal Post author

      TBF the male hosts seemed to have very little impact but :

      Paul : “Well I think we can eliminate Helen…”
      Ed : “SEEMS A BIT HARD TO MURDER HER JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T BAKE NICE CAKES HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA”
      Paul : *looks awkwardly at the floor*

      made my soul hurt.

      Reply
  5. Laura

    I’m still a bit stumped (pardon the sports pun) as to why this was on in the depths of January. Isn’t Sport Relief in March? Or are they going to bring all this week’s winners back on the night and have them do some kind of live bake off against the clock-type thing?

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Yeah, I have no idea why it’s airing now either, unless the idea is to get us all ramped up with excitement.

      Reply
    2. durnovarian

      Seems it’s 21-23 March. And David Beckham is going to appear in a “Only Fools and Horses” sketch. My cup runneth over…

      Reply
  6. Huriye

    That odoius man Jason Gardiner nauseated me to the point where I couldn’t watch any other episodes. His pretence at having ever danced a Ballet like Swan Lake would be laughable if it wasn’t so delusional. I’d give him the brittle crown over Jane Horrocks any day, at least I wanted to try her Ginger Biscuits.

    Monkseal, you must be beside yourself with fantasies of a Ginger Greg sandwich. I think the athlete’s oozing banana caramel just pips it for me. 🙂

    Reply
  7. nigelszczepaniak

    Look I’m rubbish at this so apologies if it ends up double-posted. I really like Kirsty Young and think she comes across as a genuinely lovely woman but when she said she’d never won anything in her life before was I the only one screaming “What about Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes?” at the TV?

    Reply

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