Strictly Come Dancing 11 – Week 12 Results Summary

So they did it. They pulled it off. The heist is a success. After three months, eleven eliminations and more substandard tangos than I’d ever care to sit through ever again, the YEAR OF THE WOMAN reaches its logical end with Strictly’s very first ever all-female, vaginacentric, totally XX finale. Patrick meets his sweetly triumphant end at the hands of Natalie Gumede who, apparently determined to make me love her at the very last minute, decides to do her Argentine Tango in the dance-off rather than her salsa, even though it scored lower. Obviously it’s a decision with even less jeopardy than whether Ola decides to show 80% of her boobs in a samba or just a mere 75% but I appreciate it all the same. This cements my voting plan for the final – I’m voting for Natalie until she finishes 4th and I cuss you all out for preferring Abbey, and then voting for Sophie until she finishes 2nd and I cuss you all out for preferring Susanna.

Or you know, whatever happens.

Also happening is a pro-dance revolving around Dynamo looking even more uncomfortable to be cast on the show than Jessie Wallace did; Celine Dion miming and not even trying to hide it, not even a little bit; no backstage footage of Greg because APPARENTLY HIS GIRRRRRRRRRRRRLFRRRRRRRRRRRIEND HAS JUST HAD A BABY OR SOMETHING MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS; the World Showdance Champions hopefully not (or hopefully, depending on your perspective) inspiring Brenda via the medium of hurling one another at the ceiling; and of course Len’s Glans, as irrelevant and pointless as ever.

Have a poll.


48 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 11 – Week 12 Results Summary

    1. minxy

      Getting Tess instead of Claudia is just as much of a travesty! (even if Tess is a woman albeit a woman trying to be a drag queen but without the personality, the posture or the style – she is a travesty looking for a label!)

  1. Ferny

    So you don’t think there’s any chance of an Abbey win? I’m sensing a turning tide but it is probably too late now, especially against the force of the Sophie-Charleston and Susanna-Paso in the final.

    My favorite bit was Dynamo looking like he perhaps would like a hole in the floor to open up and take him somewhere more pleasant. I’m not entirely sure why random people keep popping up in these dances.

    Oh, and Anya may well now be my favorite…she’s totally adorable and so innocent bless her

    1. monkseal Post author

      I feel about Abbey about the same as I felt about Kimberley at this stage last year, but less so. She’s going to have to go some to win with her finals dance-draw.

  2. Matt Clemson

    I, too, was impressed with Natalie going for the AT rather than the samba in the dance-off. There’s another choice coming up, of course. You can do anything in the showdance… so how about a jive to ‘Proud Mary’?

    1. Louise

      Does anyone really believe Natalie’s going to make it far enough for a Showdance, though…? Only the first and second placed are going to get to do one, right? Unlike the old days when they let the one who was voted out first do it anyway (hence giving us all the Snowdance-shaped gift that keeps on giving [nightmares])

      1. BeyonceCastle

        The thing about Snowdance is not that it did not do Lisa any favours in the grace department. It’s not even that she was a bit too leggy for Brenda to do gymnastics with. Or the fact that he obviously thought it had gone really really well bless.

        It’s the fact that he genuinely thought he was doing what the judges had told them ALL to do only a week before. Wich they DID when they specifically said aim for this….
        I still feel a bit sorry for him for walking into it.
        He saw amazing gymnastics and ACDC and converted it into bacofoil and Meatloaf.

        But I really cannot see Sophie going for a swimsuit or catsuit 😉

      2. Penny

        Dani got to do her Bohemian Rhapsody showdance last year. Do you not remember? Or have you had expensive hypnotherapy in order to forget?

      3. DJ Mikey

        I’d forgotten about this, not about Snowdance – obviously, but about the circus Acrobatics that inspired it.

        Now my memory has been jogged and it pains, I’m very nearly tempted to cheat on Pasha and Aljaz, things are already complicated in this imaginary relationship.

        That guy is seriously hot and now I need to rein in my overactive imaginary relationship, before hearts get broken!!

  3. BeyonceCastle

    Last year ALL FOUR did the judges’ favourite and their showdance and then following one elimination the remaining three did their own favourite dance from the series.
    Winner announced, not sure if we were told who was strictly 2nd or 3rd (see what I did there?) but believe it was NimbleKimble 2nd Denise 3rd…all this due to keeping Denise Van Ringah in.
    Though personally I didn’t mind as I like the showdances.
    This year doing the same I think due to Natalie Born Ringah.
    But it did used to be that only 1st and 2nd got to showdance. Then Hamela got to do a showdance but not her hitherto unlearned Argentine Tango. Finally Jason Chelsea and Harry all got to do a showdance before Jason got eliminated.
    Following Tom I think they realised showdances could be a make-or-break.

    1. monkseal Post author

      We’ve always seen all the showdances of everyone in the final. Some of them weren’t in competition, but we did get to see them all. Also Tom’s Showdance was not “make or break”, as was demonstrated by the vote-reveals done every 5 seconds in the last two weeks of that series, all of which he won.

  4. Jenni the Elephant

    Brendan, don’t listen to the nay-sayers. Do a proper showdance. Do it for your girl. Wrap her in tinsel and toss her aloft. Put her in a snowflake leotard and lower yourself slowly over her like …like……..Well, like you know you want to. Do it for US, Brendan. It’s been so long since Bacofoil. We NEED this.

    In other news. Greg! Such a loss to gaykind. I can barely speak.

    1. minxy

      ah a nice thought – but Sophie could never pull off the absolutely serious, intensely focussed commitment to performing Brenda’s vision the way it deserved that NotClooney did …

  5. A Frog at Large

    Am I the only one who thought that the world dance winners or whoever those two people were awful? It was just a series of lifts with two dance steps in between if that. Not pretty at all.

    1. Isolde

      No you’re not the only one. What they do is very impressive, but it’s still circus acrobatics rather than actual dancing.

      1. minxy

        They do however have the sense to have an extremely large, strong man and a tiny strong woman to make the lifting and chucking easier.
        Unlike Brenda! (still lmfao)

    2. Kate

      Totally agree. I was bored to sobs by their routine. Just a series of acrobatic lifts to music not punctuated much by changes of tone or nuance that I could see . But maybe I have become too Strictlified and need storytelling and structure to a dance to enjoy it.

    3. fembot

      Nah. By the end, all I was thinking was, “I dunno, am I meant to be more impressed with that lift than the last one?” and “They must be shagging.”

      I really don’t know why they bother bringing the showdancers in, as if to say, “Why not try this, despite the fact that you’ve been doing decent Ballroom and Latin for 3 months?” It’s not like there hasn’t been enough injury porn this series.

    4. pootle

      No, I loathe the standard pro showdance. Lift lift wrap lift lift lift catsuit wrap focus-face like a diver lift lift pose.
      They may as well finish off with a series of somersaults to each corner of the room and go back to the grim-faced head coach.

      1. A Frog at Large

        That’s where I went wrong. I thought it was going to be dancing!

        I’m a Strictly virgin though, it’s the first year I’m watching from start to finish (I know I am a late bloomer) so I hope my naivete won’t be held against me :-p

  6. Kate

    Poor Natalie. When she found out she was in the DO you could see the penny doing a huge drop of, “Shit, I’m in the DO despite being top of the leader board, and, double shit, there ain’t no way I’m gonna lift that Glitterball now..” I was surprised, given the Operation Waterworks of late, that she was so sanguine about it. Perhaps, knowing that she is unlikely to win will take the pressure off it all for her. Or maybe her showdance will be so jaw droppingly fabulous that she’ll take out either Abbey or Sophie, but I doubt it…

    1. Monaogg

      She realised weeks ago that people cannot separate her from her Corrie character. So not surprised at all. Poor Dynamo did look somewhat bewildered.

      Hate the weightlifting to music. 😦 Should do something more B&L related,

    2. monkseal Post author

      I think Natalie knows the show well enough to know which one she is. I guess she was hoping to be Colin rather than Zoe.

    1. BeyonceCastle

      i believe it derives from Lisa Snowdon wearing a lovely silver swimsuit and being described as looking like a turkey Brendan was desperately trying but failing to bung into the oven. It was either coined by a DS member or by the Mighty Monkseal himself?
      See comments here….

      1. minxy

        lmao it’s been a long time since I actually watched it. Damn, Lisa sure bought into Brenda’s vision didn’t she?

        I now realise what’s Sophie’s problem is …

        She has seen it too – and doesn’t want “the evil genius” to turn her into Bacofoil Mark 2!

      2. Creepy

        “Brendan defending his livestock against a particularly determined boa constrictor” never fails to make me weep with laughter…

        Funnily enough I re-watched this yesterday to cheer myself up after some bad news, and woke up howling with laughter in the middle of the night at the image of “a zookeeper trying to handle a dead llama”. Oh Brenda. We owe so much to you…

      3. Louise

        I actually think this music improves the dance slightly.

        *heads back to watch the original go down in flames*

    2. Muggsy

      If you mean the reason for the name it’s becauseLisa appeared to be wearing Bacofoil. Plus Brendan looked like a man trying to manoeuvre a too large Christmas turkey into a too small oven.

      If you mean can somebody explain the dance, then no, though people’s attempts are much more amusing than the dance itself, impossible though that may seem.

    3. Left Feet

      Its a showdance which Brenda Cole did with Lisa Snowden in series 6 in which she wore a silver swimsuit (bacofoil i suppose) and tried and failed to copy the top of showdance done on Sunday night. Its a bit of a running Strictly gag for crap showdances.
      Brenda overeached himself, hopefully he has learnt his lesson and does something which plays to SEB strengths (her grace).

  7. Left Feet

    After this year without anyone approching being a male contender perhaps the producers will need to look into the reasons. The talent this year on the male side was not great, but also I do think that the female pro dancers don’t have the characters of previous years. Only really Iveta, of the four newbies in the last couple of years has a strong persona. Hopefully Natalie Lowe will be back next year, also I would retain Aliona. Perhaps have an eight to seven split in favour of the men next year

    1. Isolde

      I think both Ashley and Patrick had the potential to be good, and make the final. Unfortunately they were hampered by working long hours in their actual job, which really meant they couldn’t focus on the details of their dances.

      1. Kate

        That and Susanna’s huge public vote. Either Patrick or Ashley could have got into the final 4 if Smuggers had been rightfully dropped into the bottom 2 and had to DO. Both could have seen her off and out of the competition. Sadly not to be… But I fear I am making a deeply obvious point, when the wider point is where are the talented male slebs who actually want to do Strictly..?

    2. monkseal Post author

      The male celebs the last two series have been seriously lacking. I hope we get some bona fide bloke stars next year because this year was dry of them.

  8. Clare

    Have to say the results of that poll so far are intriguing… so basically everyone (who reads this blog) THINKS Susanna will win but she’s actually the 4th most popular among us?? Wow.
    I’m so hoping voting gets turned on its head on Saturday by the only-vote-in-the-final people and I think it all rests o the showdance. Don’t let us down Brendan, we want GRACE!

    1. monkseal Post author

      By my count it’s about 70% think Susanna will win which isn’t definitive. 79% of people thought Julian was going out in Week 3, and 75% thought Mark was going to go out the week that Ben did. Bigger upsets have occured this series.

      1. clare

        Ah so theres hope yet. Not sure why I’m so anti-Susanna..she was actually my favourite a few weeks ago, what happened to her??

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