Strictly Come Dancing 11 – Week 10 Results Summary

Our opening pro-dance is a tribute to Fame, and is centred around Janette. Rather ironically, given that she’s the pro with probably the least public name recognition (apart from maybe Anya? I dunno, I’m not trying to start a debate). Everyone runs around doing knee-slides and jumping about and clattering into ballet bars and messing around with newspapers and I’m not sure what the desired end-goal of any of it is but…erm…FAME! WOO! The best part is clearly how Tess and Claudia come out dressed in leg-warmers and headbands in tribute. They should have stayed like that.

This week’s musical guest? Dec from Ant & Dec, doing his usual “I’m wearing a stick-on beard and doing musical theatre standards operatically and calling myself “Alfie Boe” number” although with age he’s starting to look more and more like Al from Home Improvement. He’s singing “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables whilst Karen & Kevin do the usual wistful pro-routine in response. I’m so bored of classical crossover at this point I can’t even tell you. The small giddy thrill I got from Popstar To Operastar getting cancelled is all but snuffed out entirely.

Len’s Glans is given over to everyone taking the piss out of Craig in his Phantom Of The Opera gear, Len continuing to fight the fight for the purity of the American Smooth, Darcey talking about how sensual and fluid and masculine Ashley was in his rumba whilst giggling awkwardly as the clip chosen shows exactly the opposite, Bruno of all people trying to justify Abbey’s 40 by talking about how your eyes were drawn to her (dressed in red, in the middle) over the backing dancers, Patrick’s flat flat feet, and everyone bigging up just how earth-shatteringly important the Swingathon is (LOL).

Highlights from Claud 9 include Abbey repeatedly saying she can’t believe that she got a perfect score (you’re not alone love) and Susanna continuing to be…Susanna. Or at least Results Show Susanna. If she’s just brought a little smile into our grey little lives then it all will have been worthwhile, even if her quickstep did resemble a fever dream from a Darren Aronofsky movie. For the second week in a row though, we’re in for an all-male dance-off as Mark (duh) squares off against Ashley (less duh) who spends the whole dance looking like he wants to set fire to that bloody magic carpet. In the battle of Disney Duds though, it’s Ashley who prevails, sending Mark home after his fourth dance-off in a row. He and Iveta are very touching about one-another but you can tell they’re glad to be the last ones out before the knives really come out.

Next week : Natalie has the paso, no Bruce, and the first little green shoots that we might actually see the celebrities tackle all the dance disciplines for the first time since about Series 6. What could go wrong?

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31 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 11 – Week 10 Results Summary

  1. Pops

    It was his time to go, but still sad to see Mark leave. I love that Iveta says he’s like family to her now, because it seems like belonging to the Benton clan,could be quite fun. I voted for his permanently mortified son in your ‘Best Relative’ poll a couple of weeks ago, and I was impressed that when his wife turned up to the training room for last week’s VT, she’d brought Iveta a bunch of flowers. Look and learn, Mr ‘Can you do that again without touching my wife?’ Ellis-Bextor.

    Reply
    1. Kate

      I love Iveta and her ‘we’re family now. ‘it reminded me of the character Dave from League of Gentleman- ‘you’re my wife now’- before he proceeds to kidnap. Iveta will be round for her Christmas dinner and never leave.

      Reply
      1. minxy

        I am so very glad Iveta came back this season. And Karen too. They have both delighted me more than I thought possible last series.

        Love the Ivetatude!

        Is it blasphemy to say I don’t miss any of the axed/chose to leave pros? (so long as Natalie is coming back full time now she has healed).
        Yep even Erin (still miss her on ITT tho despite also loving Ian doing her slot).

        Iveta>Karen>Ola (has been good to see Ola up her game a bit this series but …)
        Definite keepers the first two!

        KFG and Alijaz are keepers too for sure. (btw KFG does have a nice arse – unfortunately he also has a long body and short legs, whereas Alijaz has longer legs and shorter body which makes his arse look way better)

        Ola/Anya/Jannette/James/Brenda not fussed if they stay or go. Very tired of Anton phoning it in – and even that’s when he can be bothered, which isn’t much or often these days.
        Brenda>Anton/James if pushed

      2. monkseal Post author

        To be honest, I’m quite flighty. Most of the pros I left I think had given more or less everything they had to give in terms of what they could do on the show. I do crave Pregnant Erin making some sort of appearanec though.

  2. Louise

    “If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, then all our hard work ain’t been in vain fur nothin’!” 😉

    Oh, if only they’d done the Quickstep with her as Lena Lamont instead of Kathy Seldon, complete with full Renaissance powdered wig… #missedopportunity Okay, I know it wouldn’t have made any narrative sense, but since when has that stopped them?

    Also, was I the only one yelling “my eyes!” at the TV set a la Phoebe Buffay when Ola/Jasmine started gyrating down the front of Ashley/Aladdin about twenty seconds into their routine? That’s my childhood memories you’re soiling there, guys! Put it away! 😦

    Sad to see Mark and Iveta leave, but it was definitely time… Still, one of the most genuinely nice couples we’ve ever had on the show, I reckon.

    Reply
    1. Charlotte

      I can’t believe I missed that connection!
      I wish with all my heart that that’s what Susanna was going for and Kevin had dared her to sell it with a straight face.

      Reply
  3. Chris

    I would pay good money to see a Darren Aronofsky week. I reckon we could wrangle a rumba to the main theme from Requiem for a Dream – a film that (from Wiki) ‘depicts different forms of addiction, which lead to the characters’ imprisonment in a world of delusion and reckless desperation that is subsequently overtaken by reality.’ Surely that’s enough REAL FEELINGS AND EMOTION for Brendan to go on? Possibilities are endless with Black Swan.

    Also, Ola’s wig was one of the tattier hairpieces I’ve seen on this show of late. That includes everything Vincent wore last series.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      “the characters’ imprisonment in a world of delusion and reckless desperation that is subsequently overtaken by reality”

      Kristina what now?

      Reply
  4. Tom Lawrence (@Meserach)

    Gosh, I got a little emotional there.

    Markveta really had to end here, and I was pleased by how the show pulled it off. and Ashley being in the dance-off meant they got to do it without the costume malfunction, which is always nice. Hell, I even liked the musical guest this week (but then I am a total Les Mis stan).

    Yes, next week should be shaping up to be a proper corker, though, Swing-yer-thong aside, I mean. Natalie’s paso MUST be good, surely (please let her do it to something musically sane). And no Bruce, no theme, and no Fusion, thank the gods. If only they could also ban backing dancers, who have seemingly stayed with us as a concept post-Blackpool. I hates it! Props was one thing, but the whole point of the show is to see those two people dance, not them and four other randoms from the chorus, however briefly.

    Don’t know about seeing them do all the disciplines, though: they still only have the one dance plus winge-a-thon next week, which is week 11, bringing them up to 11 dances each (ignoring Natalie’s AWOL Jive of course). Then the five-couple semi will have two dances each bringing them to thirteen disciplines – but modern Strictly has fourteen disciplines (discounting showdances, fusions, swingyourpants and other irrelevancies) so they’ll still have one left un-done come the final, and the final will surely just be the usual best-ballroom-best-latin-showdance trifecta from each of the four couples. Unless I’m missing something?

    From my default position of pessimism regarding the public vote, I’ve been continually pleasantly surprised from Fiona’s elimination on. I foresaw Fiona clinging on at the expense of Mark while Ben and Ashley rode waves of testosterone (both their own and other people’s) to the final. None of it’s happened, and I’m now forced to contemplate that Ashley might really be vulnerable in the quarter-final. If he were to go I’d be thrilled: he’s perfectly adequate but I’m long considered him the least interesting and possibly least talented of the Obvious Top Six, and am shocked to find both judges and public apparently agreeing with me. This week.

    Rumba’s always a danger dance, and this was a particularly cringeworthy effort (and the harrumph-think-of-the-kiddies-audience may not have appreciated dragging SEX into DISNEY). It’s never good to be in a bottom two, but nevertheless Ashley must be pleased to have the rumba behind him. His best chance of surviving next week comes down to the dance he gets: a crowd-pleasing Charleston would be just the ticket (and goodness knows Ola is capable of that, even if the game’s moved on since the Cola heyday), but the AT or Salsa (at which Ola has no particular skill) would be much tougher asks, and the Foxtrot would probably be middling but is unlikely to excite an audience to reach for it’s vote buttons short of major shenanigans (which would probably piss off Len, but it might be worth it since they’re probably bottom of the leaderboard whatever they do).

    Partly my surprise at the results is down to how the judges have pushed both Patrick and Abbey so hard since their respective bottom twos (are they learning?). Abbey surely now has reached full Snowdon levels of overmarking – a 40 for something that wasn’t even a Salsa, drowned in disco theming and backing dancers? No. It’s certainly no DiAngelo “Vehicle”. Looking forward, she’s got one of the better runs in ballroom left to go – Viennese Waltz and American Smooth, one of which we’ll surely see next week – but the Latin has the Samba and the AT. The AT could work for her, she has the legs for it and the sex-factor. Dunno if Aljaz is any copt at it. The Samba on the other hand, she’d do well to skip if she possibly can – it’s always a bad dance both in judges votes and public, and I’ve seen nothing to make me think it would suit her,. The judges might give it 40 anyway, but even so…

    I’m happier for Patrick being pushed by the judges just because I find him more of a winning performer, although I really didn’t get on with his Charleston. But then Sophie aside, I rarely do. Patrick’s prospects are the AT, Waltz, Rumba and Paso Doble. I actually think he could give good Paso; he can do the whole shit-sniffing absurdo-dignity just fine. The others look dangeorus. The AT’s hard to call for a new pro who I haven’t seen do it yet. I can’t quite visualize his Rumba however hard I try. And while the Waltz is safe for most people, I don’t think it plays to Patrick’s strength’s: he’s better out of hold in ballroom, and better in Latin in general. All told, I think it’s between him and Ashley who leaves next week, and the other one probably goes in the semis. I’m presuming Patrick would lose out in bottom twos with Natalie and Abbey, but would win through versus Susanna, Ashley and Sophie. However once Ashley’s gone, I don;t see Susanna or Sophie’s vote abandoning them enough to force them into a bottom two, so marginally I think Patrick loses out in the semi. Probably to Natalie (RACISM LOLZ).

    Sophie’s Viennese was perfectly pitched to both judicial proclivities and her jolly-hockey-sticks constituency, although I expect Brenda’s seething that he still didn’t rate a 10 for it. He’s pandering all he can, middle classes! He even took the sex out of the rumba for you! WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT?! Simultaneously Boy Scout + Seething Beast Brenda is best ever Brenda, and watching him stay juust barely this side of boiling is fabulous entertainment. Sophie herself remains a frustration: this was her best dance for a while, but seemingly only because it was right slap bang in the middle of a comfort zone that extends all of a quarter-inch either side of “posh and proper and shyly awkward”. The “posh steely bitch-queen of the 20s” she managed to channel for the Charleston was the only other character-type she’s really found a route into. She SHOULD accordingly be capable of an amazingly sharp and severe Tango, but it’ll probably disappoint as the AT did, and the Salsa would be abominable – if they can duck it entirely they surely will. That leaves the American Smooth, which would probably be fine except lacking in performance, and the Paso… eeek. She either needs a strong lesson in super-campy ACTING or a few stiff drinks before she goes out. Maybe both. Could be trouble.

    If there was a week to screw up, this was it, since Mark’s departure was so nailed-on. In this sense, Susanna’s chaotic hot mess of a quickstep was actually perfect! She can keep her vague technical judicial underdog status plausible with a token bad score here and then when she rebounds in the next week or two? JOURNEY. She’s still so winning this. (We learned today she’s definitely more popular than Ashley, which… okay, we knew that already).

    Susanna doesn’t have the best run of dances left to get her to that glitterball, though: Rumba, Salsa, Argentine Tango and Foxtrot!? I actually think her AT could stand to be an absolute triumph if Kevin can hack it choreographically, and she can channel her Paso character to Ramprakash-like effect. But the Rumba could well be Cha Cha levels of embarrassing, except worse because SEX, and the Salsa’s bad for almost everybody. She’ll be hoping the Foxtrot lands in the semi when she’ll be most vulnerable (and it probably will, if only because having a ballroom + latin split in the two-dance semi is good for contrast), but even the best Foxtrot can be boring. Hmmm. I still think my money’s on her somehow winning through. That rumba seems like the biggest landmine, though, unless they contrive to skip it.

    That just leaves Our Beloved RINGAH, Natalie. I didn;t really buy into the American Smooth: for me, it just felt liek a weird thing to do an American SMooth too: it shoudl be all glitz and razmatazz, and instead you’ve got angst and histrionics. yes she acted it well, but… I dunno. Don’t really care about being in hold or out, but nevertheless, not wowed. Notable that a sudden drop to join third in the leaderboard after six weeks of topping it on the trot (plus the Jive skip) didn’t immediately drop her into bottom-twosville, so her vote can’t be as bad as ALL that. Whether she’ll win my full throated support as the deserved winner wll come down to this Paso Doble she has next week, I think. I know she has it in her to do something extraordinary there. If the music choice will let her. And Artem doesn’t decide to choreograph a mime instead or something.

    Post-Paso, Natalie’s also got the Foxtrot, Salsa and the AT to do. There’s a lot of that about – I understand that for the AT, preserving an element of that semi-final cachet it once had, and I guess pros are just trying to duck the Salsa as long as possible (or entirely) due to unfamiliarity/sucking at it, but why keep the Foxtrot around for so long for so many? Just cause it’s easier and so good as the filler in a two-dance week? Trying to duck it ’cause it’s dull? Honestly if people are gonna dump anything I’d prefer Foxtrot, since 95% of the time it’s just the American Smooth but less fun, 4% of the time it’s just the American Smooth verbatim but Len throws a hufty because not enough was in hold/we’re caring about illegal lifts this week, and the 1% of actually worthwhile-on-their-own-merits Foxtrots aren’t worth the rest. They should just cut it from the roster altogether next year and put hip-hop in instead. FOR IVETA!

    Natalie will obviously do a great Foxtrot (whether by ignoring the rules, transcending them or just doing it by the book but with full class and panache). The AT also should be marvellous. We know Artem can do it. And I’m damn well gonna get one AT I like this series. Salsa, I dunno. The Salsa’s this year… haven’t been. There’s been a Chippendales act, a disco hustle and the Austin Powers, which have all had their own charm depending on you inclination but have approached Salsa only from a distance. Maybe Artem and Natalie can actually do the thing properly, and with fierce hair? We can but hope.

    She’s still not winning though.

    Reply
    1. Kate

      I have a horrible feeling you are right about Susanna winning the whole shebang. I’ve really gone off her in the last couple of weeks (KFG’s specs appeal aside) – the stiff legged cha cha and that funked up quick step, but more than that, the endless gurning and BABYWARZ, working mum like u vote canvassing, not to mention last night’s patronising twaddle about making us all smile (but sadly not for the joyful reasons she was envisaging). I’d be more than a little uncharitably pleased if the Susanna self promotion wagon hit the skids next week, and slid from view permanently, but I fear she will not find herself in the dreaded DO, and that honour will fall to the remaining men. As for Ashley vs Patrick…. a fairly even match, I would say (though I think Patrick is the better dancer) which will be determined more by allocation of dance and the relative choreographic skills of Anya and Ola in these disciplines, rather than actual absolute skill levels. If Patrick can pull a Latin vs Ashley doing a ballroom dance, then he may win through…..one can but hope. That is if Anya can avoid being Venus fly trapped by whatever costume is attacking her next week… and Ola manages to insert some knee slides into a Foxtrot..
      Endlessly surprised that Ms E-B hasn’t been dumped into the bottom 2 yet. She peaked too soon with her Charleston, and since then her her graceful but listless elegance has had her sleep walking through most of her dances. The Quickstep at Blackpool just didn’t do it for me either, and this week’s middle of the road safety dance in yet another chastity costume was less than inspiring, I think she may sneak through to the final unscathed simply because she is the female celeb with the least strongly definingly irritating characteristics: she’s not drama queen, ringah Natalie, pushy working mum of 3 in yer face Susanna, or vain, flirty nervous, parasitic WAG Abbey. She’s diffident, self deprecating, shy head girl Sophie, who dances prettily rather than sexily, and don’t all us JELUS WIMMIN prefer that to the more direct approach of the other 3 female slebs left in??? (LOL). Coupled with the sheer entertainment value to be had from watching Brenda trying not to implode and wreck his chances of a second Glitterball win by outrightly wailing “I wanna 10!” for whatever bland offering he has pieced together to appease the mumsnet crowd, I think she may make her way safely through to the final. I’d like to see Patrick, Sophie (astounding rather than astounded version) and Natalie in a 3 person final. As it is, I think we’ll get Natalie, Susanna, Abbey (what oh what was with that 40??)and probably Sophie in an ovary special 4 final, with possibly Sophie (if Brenda can hold it together, and craft a moment of pure Dahnce Art, dahling) winning, if Susanna and Mr Specstacular KFG can’t ham it up significantly through their showdance, and there other 2 dances aren’t some sort of waltzes.
      I’d still like Patrick to win, but it’s a very long shot.
      Keep up the long answers. Love the analyses.

      Reply
      1. Tom Lawrence (@Meserach)

        I think part of Brenda’s psychology with the whole thing, apart from just his general Brenda-ness, is that he might feel his win with Kerplunk back in Series 1 is in some ways less legitimate than the later winners, since series 1 was in every way short and terrible. And… he’d be right to think that. Everything in Series 1 comes with an asterisk, I have to think. Chris Parker was runner up for cripes sake. Nothing got a ten all series (imagine!). Then after that he’s had a rash of indifferent/terrible people, Kelly Brook (but that got cut tragically short before it had been able to flower fully into VILLAIN DOMINATION), Lisa Snowdon (which is his second best finish, but it was Lisa Snowdon, so… also an asterisk there in my mind), and then another chain of indifferent-to-terrible. Hence he may well be feeling that S E-B is his best chance probably ever again for a real and proper win that no-one could quibble with.

        I also wonder if he might be thinking of quitting at the end of this. Ten years is a long long time to be doing any one thing, and there’s a natural desire to finish on a high. I similarly wondered is Kristina’s… unbalanced mental state this series was due to thinking it might be her last…

  5. Janet Garner

    Loved your analysis – perceptive and witty. And definitely not too long for me. Why not do your own blog? Or do you already?

    Reply
    1. Tom Lawrence (@Meserach)

      Maybe I should! If I did, would anyone read it though? At least commenting here I feel like the effort doesn’t go to waste. 🙂 Provided our gracious host doesn’t mind, of course…

      I’ve been known to blog about pop music over on my tumblr (http://meserach.tumblr.com/), and the twitter account I’m commenting videos feature my short-form Strictly thoughts sometimes. But maybe I’ll start a blog for reality TV chatter…

      Reply
      1. Kate

        Think you might be right about Brenda departing shortly. All those man of the people “shout outs” thanking the cleaners, catering staff etc etc seem to be about him positioning himself as the elder statesman/ show ambassador, and therefore just a little above it all, as he bids for….. Brucie’s job/ Karen Hardy’s Starship Enervate/ a regular slot on ITT, other than bolstering his sleb????? Either way I think he has his eye on the door.

  6. Huriye

    I’m surprised you didn’t mention the frisson of excitement that emanated from the studio audience when Tess announced that next week it will be her and Claude again. How much longer before he takes the hint?

    BTW to Tom: If the Foxtrot is jettisoned, it will be a travesty. When done well, Foxtrot is the most beautiful and stylish of all the Ballroom dances, and makes people swoon. Funnily enough, Lisa Snowdon and Brendan did one of the best.

    Reply
    1. Tom Lawrence (@Meserach)

      I don’t disagree that a lovely Foxtrot can be a transcendent thing (and I think I dimly recall Lisa’s being a good one -certainly one of her less over-marked dances), but my feeling is that producing the occasional good dance in amongst all the snoozefests isn’t a good enough reason by itself to keep a category around. Especially given, as I say, that the American Smooth is a foxtrot 95% of the time anyway. PURITY OF DAHNCE fans would probably insist Foxtrot has to be there as part of the canonical Ballroom 10 Dance list, but that doesn’t feel like sufficient reason to me either.

      Ultimately I just feel that on average, all other things being equal, sight unseen, foxtrots are the dances I look forward to least. Then again, I’d only want to see it gone if we were going to replace it with something I’d enjoy more consistently, and… god knows what they’d pick. Rock n’Roll was not a success, and Hip Hop would be good for a laugh but would quickly become boring.. The hustle or something? Ugh.

      Reply
      1. pootle

        First I thought “oh, maybe the Mambo”, but it would just get caught up in that giant Salsamb[DISCO!]cha mess and I’d never have the chance to tell them apart with the sound down. (Which is a fun game, especially when you combine it with Artem’s “Tango or Paso?” round)

  7. fembot

    How fitting that Mark and Iveta ended up doing 10 dances in total. IVETA NO DO MORE THAN 10 DANCES. THERE NO 11 DANCE CHAMPION. I HAVE BROKEN MARK AND MY JOB NOW DONE.

    Also, everyone was so touched by Iveta’s, “I taught you to dance, but you taught me so much more,” comment, but if she had been allowed to elaborate, as subscribers to your blog we all know it would have been, “Voice mimicry, phone hacking, saying I am cold, hard, Lithuanian woman only to charm everyone with my humour and sweetness but really to be cold, hard Lithuanian woman ALL ALONG, ” etc etc. She and Mark will be missed!

    Reply
    1. Kate

      I agree. I must confess to shedding a little tear when Mark and Iveta did their final goodbyes and their dance. I’ll miss their humour and sense of fun now the competition is moving into the realms of the purity of dahnce..

      Reply
      1. Marcela

        It was the first time in all those years I genuinely cried when a couple left. And I’m not saying the kind of “Oh, I’ve got something in my eye”, but the full waterworks. They’d better bring her back next year or else. And Natalie. And Katya. A series with those 3 and I’d die of happiness.

  8. Kate

    Marcela, I’m sure they’ll bring the COLD, HARD LITHUANIAN WOMAN back for the next series. Of the new female pros she’s definitely made the most impact and the biggest success story in terms of popularity if not outright DAHNCE perfection, despite being outlasted by Patrick and Anya (who?). Of the new female pros, personally I could well do without Janette’s irritating gurning and constant attention seeking pronouncements to the red tops about the indomitable love story that is her and Sexy Frankenstein, just to remind people that she and the shrieking CRYSTALLED!!! designer ever existed. Iveta will be back next year to steal our identities etc . I’d love to see what she could do with a CONTENDAH, and if she could restrain her urges towards bat shit crazy campography.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I feel like Iveta and a ringer would be the most hated couple of all time and I would adore them.

      At least that’s what I hope.

      Reply

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