Strictly Come Dancing 11 – Week 6 Performance Summary

Hallowe’en Week, and all the stars are out. Jelus Kara, Kimbotley, last year’s Champion Louis Smith, last year’s People’s Champion (which we all know is FAR more important) Lisa Riley, and next year’s champion Judy Murray. So many stars of Strictly past, present and future, all come together to watch Mark Benton do the spaceman paso to Sarah Brightman and Brucie call Darcey “Dave”.

(Sadly, Michelle Williams was not there to take her rightful starring role in the Time Warp group-dance that opened the show. She made that dance her own in Series 8, damnit)

As we’re now on the fourth iteration of Hallowe’en Week, the pros are having to reach further and further afield for their inspiration. Instead of just “oh Matt Baker is a vampire and wearing guy-liner” or “oh Harry Judd is a vampire and also wearing guy-liner” (thanks Aliona!) we’re now hitting the more obscure reaches of the B Movies, covering voodoo preachers, haunted paintings, ice-queens, naiads and…erm…scarecrows. All topped off with a trip from Susanna and Kevin to an authentic 1950s drive-through where it turns out that Kevin is a pissed off leprechaun. I mean…the script says he’s a werewolf but…nope. Still, 8s and 9s abound.

Sitting pretty at the top of the leaderboard (again) is Natalie, who plays the role of a swampy temptress in another Artem Chigvintsev Hallowe’en classic. Sadly for a Viennese Waltz it’s a little lacking in in-hold stuff, so Len throws a hufty. He still gives them a 9 though, which makes me a little sad. It’s not a PROPER Len hufty until he starts hauling the 6s and 7s out of cold storage. Then again Ben stomping around semi-nude with frozen spunk all over his face and boobs (a frost giant themed paso, apparently) also gets a 9 from Len so…it’s still kind of an insult. Also getting top marks are Abbey, for a dirty rumba with Aljaz where she has come as the ghost of Lady Gaga’s career, and Patrick, who plays a demonic fortune teller, to whom Anya sells her soul for a personality in their quickstep. It still doesn’t last very long. Cheap bloody BBC 1 cutback voodoo…

Clumping around the middle? Ashley who finally looks on the verge of either shaking off his tiredness or embracing it completely, launcing himself into a dramatic tango where Ola is a…evil…tree zombie or something, whilst Rachel does that nice ballroom routine I was wishing for her last week, as she plays a painting of a Georgian lady who comes to life to stare at the ceiling grinning inanely as she gets ravished by a painting of a gentlemanly Pasha. And who can blame her?

Sinking to the bottom? Sophie as a back-alley vampire who gingerly stalks a frantically overacting Brenda round and round the dustbins like she’s picking her way round dog-poo, until he finally succumbs to her red pleather jumpsuit seduction. She either seems to be slowly sinking out of contention or setting herself up for the mother of all comebacks. She scores exactly the same as Fiona of all people, who performs a scarecrow Charleston full of swivel, but entirely out of time with her dance-partner. Who you blame that on is up to you. They both nestle only just above Iveta, who has come naked and with her hair coiffed into the shape of a bell-end, having choreographed 50% of a paso doble, 30% of harness-work, and 20% of random disco breakdown for Mark to shuttle through dressed in even more bacofoil than Lisa Snowdon, and they ALL sit squarely on top of Darcey, who does the handjive dressed as Beetlejuice.

Darcey, or Dave. I forget which.

(Oh yeah, and Comedy VTs? WE GOT EM! Although they’re all less awful than Nicky’s Murder House, more or less, so that’s a kind of winning)


23 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 11 – Week 6 Performance Summary

  1. Monaogg

    KFG – how dare he not have a moustache, it is movember after all. So he looked like Abe Lincoln plugged into the socket.

    If you are going to do Voodoo why on earth does makeup not go the whole Baron Samedy Black and white face, particularly with such an obvious candidate.

    Odd evening and too many tied scores. Were Susanna, Abbey and Patrick really all at the same level. Hmm perhaps they were.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Maybe after Japanorama last week they reflected and decided to be more sensitive about dressing people up in minority culture dra….HA HA HA ONLY JOKING. They probably ran out of white paint.

  2. Left Feet

    Really enjoyed it because of the car crash elements this week.
    VT’s with Artems head in the microwave
    Bruce losing it at the beginning Dave/Darcey (he’s got a week off next week I think)
    And a VW which got tens although not really a V\W. But really is it worth getting all hot on the coller over? The rulebook was changed somewhere between series 7 and 8. It does not bear that much realtion to Dancesport anymore. Pre series 8 there were some pretty good VW Ramps and Alesha come to mind, but also its a can be a pretty boring dance most of the time. I also don’t agree about marking the celeb down on choreography by the Pro, thats something they cannot control.
    About Natalie in general she’s a great dancer in both Ballroom and Latin and might be the best ever by the end of the series. Take a look at the current alltime averages she is allready in the top ten! Does not guarantee that she will win of course.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Artem’s head in the microwave I think was the first time I’ve actually laughed out loud at a comedy VT since the heady days of Nancy.

  3. Ferny

    Artem in comedy VTs always makes me laugh – his and Natalie’s was clearly the best this week. 1, 2, 3…smile, 2, 3….

    Not as good dancing as normal on Halloween week I though, and weirdly I thought Patrick was the most improved by far. It was the first dance I particularly liked of his since the first week.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I can’t remember if Hallowe’en is normally this Latin/Charleston heavy. There were only 4 ballroom routines and of course two of them were American Smooth (by Artem or by design). I will say that in terms of theming it was my favourite iteration yet. I love the whole 1950s B-Movie angle a lot more than the Gothic stuff.

  4. Pops

    I hope Sophie does make a great comeback next week – it might depend on the dance she gets (ie not the rumba – if she feels self-conscious doing the cha cha, I can’t see that working too well for her). I think she could do an awesome quickstep though.

    Bad Moon Rising worked better as a Charleston than I was expecting, but Iveta and Mark were really hamstrung by that disco paso. I’m hoping he gets Dave’s sympathy votes this week, and makes it through. (Although I don’t have anyone I desperately want to win at this stage, apart from Dave, there’s no one I particularly think deserves to go out either, which probably means one thing – ZOMG shock boot.)

  5. Neio

    When I saw Dave and Karen dressed as Beetlejuice and Lydia, I thought they’d be dancing to ‘The Banana Boat Song’ or ‘Shake Senora’ as they were actually in Beetlejuice, but no, that would have made too much sense.

    I didn’t like Susannah and Kevin’s song choice, even though I liked the actual dance. I think if they’re going to use a more modern song for the Charleston that they should at least 1920s it up a bit, like James and Denise did with ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’.

    If Bruce was right and it really did say Dave instead of Darcey on his cue card, does anyone else wonder if the producers are deliberately Gaslighting him to get rid of him? Hmm…

    1. monkseal Post author

      To be fair, there’s typos abound all over the shop this year. The website’s got Natalie’s dance wrong two week in a row and this week Rachel’s been referred to as dancing an “American Waltz” at least three times.

      Also I’m sure Bruce is perfectly capable of gaslighting himself.

  6. Hannah

    Brenda’s overacting was quite something this week. When Tess asked if Ashley had done enough to put the willies up us I thought he was going to pass out with excitement. Poor Mrs Brenda.

  7. Josh

    There must of been at least half a dozen of the men’s costumes with a stupid ‘hand’ on one of the shoulders. Good to know the costume department continue to keep things original.

  8. Tom Lawrence (@Meserach)

    Artem’s head in the microwave /almost/ justified all of the incredibly embarrasing VTs that preceded it, and then followed it.

    I’m revising my last week prediction of a Sophie/Susanna/Natalie/Abbey/Ashley top 5: it now looks like Sophie’s doomed to something like a sixth place ignominy unless she manages to somehow channel the spirit of her Charleston and manage to do a fast latin that isn;t awkward. It’s a weird problem she has, never seen anything quite like it – it’s almost like Cherie Lunghi’s problem (a transcendent rumba, excellent ballroom, but terrible fats latin) but… not exactly.

    Meanwhile Ben’s star is in the ascendant, much to my distaste. Large muscular men is this judging panel’s largest blind spot (and always has been, cf. Matt Dawson et al.) and at the moment they seem determined to elevate him from the doldrums of Calzaghe/Foster levels of immobility to Darren Gough levels of over-hype based entirely on 1) nipples 2) muscles and 3) lifts. I mean, credit to Kristina for working out how to best make use of his assets, but it’s going to be grim viewing for PURITY OF DAHNCE fans. At least with Sophie there’s the /possibility/ of actually good dancing.

    I hope Patrick did enough to save him this week (I voted for him, twice). Worried about Mark: his dance didn’t really deserve it but I gave him a vote anyway. Was Dave’s dance boring enough to finally break the spell? Probably not just yet. So let’s go with a Rachel/Fiona bottom two with Rachel getting the nod? Maybe.

    1. tabithakitten

      I’m laughing helplessly at the thought of Matt Dawson as a large, muscular man.
      I do actually agree with your sentiment though.

  9. fembot

    I loved how Natalie and Artem were just introduced by their names, with no demonic Hallowe’en monikers necessary. I guess the producers know that everyone automatically adds “THE EVIL RINGAH!” when Natalie’s name gets called out, anyway.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I was mercifully at a gathering, so ALL of the intros got talked over. I was happily oblivious to that nonsense til I started recapping the episode.

  10. Spatula Clarke

    Forsyth’s awful, doddering parody of presenting hit new lows this week. Two fat jokes straight in Mark’s face, then grabbing his target’s stomach to make the point. All while Mark looked painfully embarrassed and desperately tried to ignore him / change the subject.

    I can put up with his inability to follow an autocue, read cue cards properly or, y’know, remember the gender of a quarter of the people sat in front of him. Those couple of minutes, though, were genuinely horrible to sit through.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Bruce laying hands on Mark’s stomach was a legit bottom 5 Brucie moment, up there with when he deliberately kept on calling the lady “Jelly Wallace” even after it made her cry.


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