We open with a ballroom routine choreographed by Natalie Lowe. You can tell that it’s choreographed by Natalie Lowe because there’s a lot of people stroking their own faces with the back of their hands. To 80s Whitney. Then Iveta starts to fly and Anton runs around chasing her like she’s about to get trapped in the Kite Eating Tree. Mercifully she survives. Then Tess and Claudia emerge. Claudia is dressed as a penguin. After last week, you can tell she’s already looking forward to never having to wear colours ever again.
In backstage gossip news, Ben takes his shirt off, Pasha and Anya have a touching reunion, Ben takes his shirt off, Bruce lets his frustration with Julien show, Ben takes his shirt off, Craig puckers up, Ben takes his shirt off, Sophie blatantly tries to seduce the hot ginger stage-manager (HANDS OFF), Ben takes his shirt off, Len declares Love Week to be the greatest Theme Week since the last one and until the next one, Ben takes his shirt off. I think that covers everything? That needs covering.
This week’s musical guest is Andrea Bocelli, doing a classical crossover version of “When I Fall In Love” as Aliona flouts around with Aljaz, in a routine she choreographed herself. Given her…comments to the Sunday Mirror, I imagine it’ll be the last time she’s allowed to do that. Ah well, got to appreciate a pro who goes down swinging. Len’s Glans mostly focuses on Dave’s Paso Doble, as you’d expect, but we do find time for Natalie’s very controlled rumba and Sophie’s very…not controlled samba rolls. And Craig getting cream-pied.
After a brief sidetrack for our second-tier contenders to make slightly ham-fisted jabs for promotion (Susanna by pulling the “OH IT’S SUCH A SHAME ANYBODY HAS TO GO HOME!!!” card and Ashley by wondering aloud how he’ll break it to his poor two year old son if daddy gets eliminated), our bottom 2 is Julien and Vanessa. I thought Vanessa would hang around a bit longer, but there we are. She and Julien both dance a little better in the dance-off, Vanessa gets the boot, Julien remembers to commiserate with her, Vanessa and James are gracious in defeat. It’s all a bit of a damp squib really.
BRING ON THE JOHN SERGEANT/WIDDY/DAVE MYERS MEMORIAL PANIC!