Strictly Come Dancing Pro Poll 2013 – RESULTS

Now with BRAND NEW PICTURES of all the pros you forgot existed (except probably the enigma Izabela Hanna)

Yes, it’s time to countdown once again your favourite pros in Strictly history. This year was the closest ever results in the long, storied, auspicious, nigh-on legendary (three year) history of the pro poll, with only 0.01 separating your favourite pro of all time from your second favourite pro of all time. But before we get there, let’s start at the very beginning.

34 (32). Kylie Jones – 2.51 (2.93)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Jason Wood – 8th place

Most Forgotten Pro
Fewest 10s
Fewest 9s
Fewest 8s
Fewest 7s
Fewest 6s
Fewest 5s
Lowest One Series Wonder
Lowest Ex-Pro
Lowest Series 1 Pro
Lowest Female Pro

Poor Kylie. Bottom pro on the Strictly Pro Poll for the third year running. When will she catch a break? At least she can take comfort in the fact that I made the effort to find a brand new photo of her for this year’s countdown, looking radiant on her wedding day with her “fit in a Footballers Wives sort of way” husband. Apparently she teaches Pilates now. The fact that I currently feel like I’m gossiping about one of my mum’s friends rather than a Strictly pro I think says it all to be honest. Only 19% of you felt strongly enough about her to even offer an opinion.

33 (28). Jared Murillo – 2.95 (3.62)

Most Common Score : 1
Best Finish : Tina O’Brien – 11th place

Biggest Faller (Score)
Most 4s
Most 3s
Most 2s
Most 1s
Fewest 9s
Fewest 8s
Lowest Male Pro
Lowest Series 8 Pro

JARED LOVE CHEWITS!

Ahem, anyway, last year I thought I detected a small revival in affection for Jared Murillo. This time around? Not so much. Ah well. We’ll always have this.

32 (26). Hazel Newberry – 3.05 (3.64)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Quentin Willson – 10th place

Biggest Faller (Places)
Fewest 9s
Fewest 6s
Lowest Series 2 Pro

Poor Hazel in happier times there. It has always tickled me that Strictly’ least succesful pro was probably the most succesful in terms of trophies won in the “real world” of ballroom dancing. And this is even before Strictly starting representing ballroom dance via the classic figures of “gurn-gurn-side-by-side” and “waft-waft-do-a-backflip”. Part of me wishes that she’d been asked back for another go, but like Erin ever redeeming herself for Dummy Dance, that is a dream that will just have to die with me.

31 (27). Hayley Holt – 3.05 (3.62)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Mark Foster – 11th place

Fewest 8s
Fewest 7s
Lowest Series 6 Pro

Ah the eternal Strictly drifter. Snowboarder, dancer, lingerie model, foxy boxer, WAG, tv sports reporter and winner of something called “Treasure Island : Pirates Of The Pacific”, Hayley Holt was a little portal into the world of minor New Zealand celebrity that is now closed to us all. Who knows what she’s off doing now? Such mystery…

30 (31). John Byrnes – 3.14 (3.38)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Claire Sweeney – 5th place

Fewest 9s
Fewest 8s

Again, we’re trawling slightly unknown waters for most of you here, with only 21% of you offering an opinion about the quality of John Byrnes’ performance as a professional Strictly dancer. For my part, I think John is perennially a little hard done by in these polls, because (from what I remember), his choreography and partnering with Claire Sweeney was quite good. It’s just that…it’s Claire Sweeney. There’s only so much you can do, likability wise. Maybe if they’d pretended to be shagging they could have done a bit better…

29 (29.)  Izabella Hannah – 3.29 (3.61)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Dennis Taylor – 8th place

Fewest 9s
Lowest Series 3 pro

The mystery continues.

28 (25). Andrew Cuerden – 3.33 (3.68)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Jaye Jacobs – 11th place

STRICTLY EROTICA!

27 (30). Paul Killick – 3.6 (3.49)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Verona Josephs – 6th place

Fewest 8s

Seriously, that’s my favourite cast picture of all time. It’s like the “Weekend At Bernie’s” of Strictly, except Carol is both dead AND drunk somehow. Paul Killick was the original Strictly Bad Boy and is officially the first climber (in terms of score) of the placers in this year’s Pro Poll. Maybe with Brenda having officially lost his edge and James having gone all lyrical-contemporary with Denise, you miss the days when Strictly Bad Boys were rough tough REAL MEN and actually didn’t give a flip who they upset, even if it meant losing to Esther Rantzen. That Vorderumba was REAL ART MAN, TOUGH SHIT ON YOU IF YOU DON’T GET IT. *kicks wall a la Roadhouse*

26 (23). Hanna Haarala – 3.74 (4.11)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Will Thorp – 7th place

Fewest 9s
Fewest 7s

STRICTLY EROTICA!

25. Karen Hauer – 4.28

Most Common Score – 5
Best Finish : Nicky Byrne – 6th place

Most 4s
Lowest Current Serving Pro

Last year, when polled, you predicted that Karen Hauer would land somewhere between 15 and 20 on this year’s Pro Poll. So it would be fair to say that she slightly failed to live up to expectations in her first series. It seem that Karen’s EXOTIC LATINA SENSUALITY didn’t really cut the mustard for most of you. I guess in a way we should be grateful that she maybe dampened Nicky Byrne’s chances of a contender with her…eccentric choreography and slightly aloof personality, otherwise…well…everyone could have been bleating “ZOMG IT WAS SO OBVIOUS NICKY WESTLIFE WAS GOING TO WIN FROM WEEK 1 IT WOZ DED BORIN” instead of “ZOMG IT WAS SO OBVIOUS LOUIS FROM THE OLYMPICS WAS GOING TO WIN FROM WEEK 1 IT WOZ DED BORIN!”, and what a grey world that would be. Maybe the introduction of Karen’s husband this year will show a different angle to her, and let her worm her way into your hearts?




24 (24). Hanna Karttunen – 4.02 (4.31)

Most Common Score : Don’t Know
Best Finish : Christopher Parker – Runner-Up

Fewest 10s
Highest One Series Wonder

Some people really will go about reaching the top shelf in the most ostentatious ways won’t they? Anyway, Hanna Karttunen is probably Strictly’s biggest example of untapped potential ever. She effortlessly glided Christopher Parker into the runner-up position without even breaking a sweat, using such time-tested public vote winning manoeuvres as the Austin Powers music, a Britney Spears tango, and running around with a cape like a 5 year old with a shower-curtain and calling it a paso doble. Imagine how well she’d do if she didn’t have one the worst male celebrities in Strictly history? Instead she left and did a bunch of those professional showdances where the male dancers wears the female dancer’s vagina like a hat and then spins her round. It’s *a* life choice I guess.

23 (22). Anton du Beke – 4.78 (4.86)

Most Common Score: 4
Best Finish : Lesley Garrett – 3rd

You have to wonder if Anton is now so far out beyond the end of the Strictly galaxy that he can’t come back. On the basis of the last three series, being paired with him alone is enough to be deemed the “joke act” whether you are or not (Jerry, for example, wasn’t, she was just effing lazy). I hope there’s something left in Anton’s locker such that they can justify keeping him around despite the lack of Erin to counterbalance his worse excesses. Something other than “some nice ballroom occasionally”.

22 (19). Brian Fortuna – 5.12 (5.46)

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Ali Bastian – 3rd place

Most 5s

The thought occured to me whilst constructing my list of my 50 favourite Strictly Contestant ever that Ali Bastian & Brian Fortuna were basically a dry run for Kara & Artem. Don’t get me wrong, they were very good in their own right, but a year later Artem & Kara came along and did it all a little better, and won, and didn’t get trampled underfoot my a hobbit. As such, Brian Fortuna feels a little bit like a ghost town now. Sure there was that year of intense fandom buzzing around (constantly whipped up my his mum) – the constant retweeting, the bombarding of BBC channels demanding he be given his own show, the constant newspaper photoshoots and all those times his fans sat outside tour venues bomabrding the phone lines with votes to win despite not even being in attendance…but now, tumbleweeds. Dear One Direction : this will be you in 4 years time. (Brian Fortuna also partnered Heather Small)

21 (21). Aliona Vilani – 5.28 (5.22)

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish : Harry Judd – Winner

Lowest Winner
Lowest Series 7 Pro

SHE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

20 (20). Nicole Cutler – 5.31 (5.28)

Most Common Score : 5
Best Finish : John Barnes – 7th place

Nicole Cutler is probably the only pro who is more well-known for their professional routines than their ones with their celebrity partners. In the competition, Nicole got bad beat after bad beat after bad beat, her only remotely talented partner being tragically and terminally unpopular with the public. But in the filler segments? She span, she twirled, she swung off Matthew Cutler like a demented tetherball, she was a star. Unfortunately for Nicole, she got the chop anyway, to be replaced by Hayley Holt (LOL) and then she went to the papers (which…you would too if you’d been replaced by Hayley Holt), and Bruce’s most risible catchphrase was born. And then happily died a few series later. Oh, and there was that time she suddenly had MASSIVE BOOBS. That was quite fun as well.

19. Iveta Lukosiute – 5.44

Most Common Score : 6
Best Finish: Johnny Ball – 14th place

Time will only tell if Iveta will justify your faith and goodwill, or if Ghostbusters was just the beginning of a dance apocalypse the likes of which this show has never seen before. Good luck Mark!

18 (18). James Jordan – 5.51 (5.55)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish: Denise van Outen – 2nd place

Fewest Don’t Knows
Lowest Series 4 Pro

The final of Series 10 was a first for Strictly. It was the very first ever to feature only pros who had peaked at being losing finalists before. The ghosts of Chelsee (fell to bits in the final), Matt (fell to bits before the final), Rachel (could never conceivably fall to bits and that was the problem), and Pamela (LOL) all loomed large over proceedings, but you get the impression that James felt he had more to prove than anyone else. As a result he put together…possibly the best set of dances ever performed in a final? Anyway, Denise either somehow triumphed over prior utter public disinterest to finish 2nd or they felt so bad for her that they kind of implied it happened anyway. I just hope now that James is now at peace with himself, and we never have to see anything like that “contemporary inspired rumba” ever again. In terms of this poll though…it appears to have made no difference. OH WELL.

17 (16). Robin Windsor – 5.76 (6.13)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Lisa Riley – 5th place

It seems the affection for Robin that he gradually won over two series of camp-as-tits dress-up curdled slightly last series, maybe to do with the slightly samey choreography he gave Lisa and maybe to do with the fact that her personality was so large it obliterated him totally. Still, he’s engaged to be married now, so our opinions are even more moot than they were before. ENJOY THE THRILL ROBIN! IGNORE US ALL!

16 (17). Camilla Dallerup – 5.93 (5.58)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Tom Chambers – Winner

Was there ever a more complete transformation on Strictly than that which happened when Camilla went out on the dancefloor? Off the floor she was quiet, demure, even icy on occasion. On the dancefloor? Bouncing around with her mouth hanging open grinning her face off like she was wearing vibrating knickers. Like her ex-partner Brenda, Camilla has gone on to take part in other reality shows both as a judge, and as a celebrity contestant, including “The Underdog Show” and those 5 seconds of “I’m A Celebrity” she did before everyone remembered why sending someone with 0% body fat into an environment where people are briefly starved for fun is a BAD IDEA. Why the rise in affection for Camilla this year I don’t know. Maybe after the last series of steamy phonebox romps and shirtless showdances you yearned for the days of a pro who viewed sex appeal as something to be deployed on the dancefloor only in the most dire of circumstances (ie fauxmancing James Martin to the semi-finals)

15 (13). Kristina Rihanoff – 6.34 (6.42)

Most Common Score: 7
Best Finish : Jason Donovan – 3rd place

Most 6s
Highest Series 6 Pro

Basically Kristina’s entire Strictly life (outside of her stint with Jason Donovan, when she briefly sobered out and flew right) has been spent vacillating between her fantasy of being Marilyn Monroe and her fantasy of being a Bond Girl. So last year she should have been in clover, directed by the heavens with a very specific direction to go in with her dreams of Strictly stardom, having been given a partner who was sort of in a Bond film once if you squint. Sadly these dreams were to come to naught as Colin Salmon was a clear three feet taller than her and it looked stupid and then they lost in a dance off to RICHARD ARNOLD of all people. So much for her dreams. Apart from the one where she rolled around on a coffee table doing finger guns ad going P’YOW P’YOW and occasionally doing a bit of an Argentine Tango maybe. So it’s no wonder she’s backslid a bit. By the way, By my count that makes it Marilyn year for Kristina this year. Can’t wait for Ben to play the saxophone in drag.

14 (14). Darren Bennett – 6.67 (6.39)

Most Common Score: 8
Best Finish: Jill Halfpenny – Winner

One half of the original Strictly Pro Power Couple, Darren was always the silent partner in the Bennett Dynasty, happy just to potter at the back, polishing his pugs and letting Lilia claim all the glory (/letters in green ink through the door from Marian Keyes). After his glorious debut, winning handily with Jill Halfpenny, Darren mostly ploughed a furrow of frothy light camp, letting Lynda Bellingham grope his arse, forcing Jessie Wallace into a 1920s flapper reverie whether she wanted to be there or not, and most triumphantly playing Damian to Letitia Dean’s Janis Ian, hanging out at the back laughing at their own jokes and squinting askance at Strictly’s Series 5 quartet of glamorous Mean Girls (Gabby = Regina, Kelly = Gretchen, Penny = Karen, Alesha = Cady, if you’re asking). Also there was his partnership with Emma Bunton, but let’s gloss over that because it was kind of miserable.

13 (11). Karen Hardy – 6.77 (6.8)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : When She Won With Ramps

Every year I will use that picture. Every year.

12 (15). Brendan Cole – 6.78 (6.37)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Natasha Kaplinsky – Winner

I know it might seem like nothing ever moves very much in these polls, and that my readers’ opinions are ossified forever in amber, but Brendan Cole’s slow ascent towards the Top 10 over the past few years has been a lovely latter day Renaissance for Strictly’s only remaining original professional dancer (no, you are wrong, Anton was never professional). Whether it’s based solely on getting a sympathy vote for being landed with Bloody Lulu and Britain’s Most Neurotic Olympian, only you can say. Last year Brendan managed to make it midway through the competition, even though Victoria was landed with every single one of the Latin dances that she was destined to be shit at, and for the only one where she might have been convincing, she was stuck on a bungee bike. For enduring the ensuing PENDLEDRAMA, Brendan deserves every inch of his slow crawl up the Pro Poll Leaderboard.

11 (12). Ola Jordan – 6.8 (6.51)

Most Common Score : 7
Best Finish : Chris Hollins – Winner

Most 7s
Fewest 1s
Fewest Don’t Knows

Poor Ola. It wasn’t a great year for her. From the outset of the series right up through his performing the best of the “Surprisingly” “Sweet” Week One Waltzes, it seemed like Sid Owen might be in the show for the long-haul. Then, one family emergency and two truly awful gimmicky routines later, he was out, and pretty bitter about it. It seemed doubly awful, because if there was one professional dancer we could always count on before to wring out every last drop of use out of any mediocre bloke she was given, it was Ola. Fortunately, it doesn’t seem like the producers, or you, have held it against her. The producers gave her the male ringer, and you’ve given her the HONOUR of “Most 7s”. Revel in it Ola. Revel.

10 (9). Vincent Simone – 7.29 (7.08)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Rachel Stevens – Runner-Up

It seemed apparent that Louis Smith and Dani Harmer were supposed to be the equivalent of a gold carriage clock for Vincent & Flavia. The little retirement gift granted to them on their way out for their years of service. And whilst Flavia converted hers into a victory, the little cogs and springs on Tracey Beaker ran out in the last couple of weeks of the series and she could only manage to finish fourth, and what’s worse, on Bohemian Rhapsody. Still, Vincent got a decent series of dances as his swansong, even if he did have to sit through the worst set of VT costumes ever seen in one series of Strictly Come Dancing to do it. Seriously, I still have no idea what that Scooby Doo wig was supposed to be in Hallowe’en Week. As such, Vincent has made a small amount of progress in the pro poll after his final year, but not enough to propel him any higher than his habitual spot circling around the bottom of the top 10.

9 (6). Katya Virshilas – 7.32 (7.25)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Gavin Henson – 5th place

Katya has recently announced that she’s just been cast for her very first lead role in a film. I guess she can’t be any worse than Mike Myers was.

8 (4). Matthew Cutler – 7.48 (7.64)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Alesha Dixon – Winner

Highest Series 3 Pro

Friend Of Matthew Cutler just out of shot there.

7 (7). Lilia Kopylova – 7.53 (7.24)

Most Common Score : 8
Best Finish : Darren Gough – Winner

Some thoughts on Lilia Kopylova :

  • If you google “Lilia Kopylova” the first hit, even above her wikipedia profile, is her hissing “YOU’LL REGRET SACKING ME STRICTLY!” *shakes fist* via the medium of a Daily Mail headline. Which about sums up that whole episode in the show’s history I guess.
  • Lilia’s actual last words related to Strictly on the show were here screaming “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ZERO? I DISAGREE! NOOOOOO!” on It Takes Two following a particularly humiliating event involving the Dance Machine, and if it actually wasn’t, I don’t want to know.
  • Lilia is the only pro to have won the show with a celebrity who scored below 20 for their first dance. She’s also the only pro to get two celebrities who scored below 20 for their first dance to the final.
  • Lilia was Junior Moscow Ice-Skating champion at the age of 9. In my dreams, when Lilia got sacked, she jumped RIGHT to Dancing On Ice and schooled that nob Maria.
  • Instead Lilia went on to be the Head Judge on Yok Boyle Dans, the Turkish version of Strictly, in which all the contestants were Susan Boyle. Series 1 was won by Susan Boyle. Series 2 was won by Susan Boyle.
  • Darren has had to make do with the Lebanese version which, let’s face it, shows who the REAL STAR always was in that partnership.
  • (No offence Lebanon)
  • Lilia’s favourite ballroom dances are the foxtrot and the rumba. Mine aren’t.

6 (10). Erin Boag – 7.69 (7.02)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Colin Jackson – Runner-Up

Fewest 2s
Highest Series 1 Pro

In all seriousness, I know some of these entries are needlessly short, but I definitely already covered this one.

5 (3). Flavia Cacace – 7.75 (7.68)

Most Common Score : 9
Best Finish : Louis Smith – Winner

Most 8s
Fewest 3s
Highest Series 4 Pro

Fun Strictly Stats Fact : when it comes to relief, the male pros of Strictly come quickly or not at all, whilst the ladies take longer to reach their peak. I am of course talking about how long it takes for a pro to win their first series. Mucky people. It takes the average Strictly Male Pro Champion a mere 1.5 years of toil before they lift their first glitterball. The women? 4 whole years. On average. And Flavia set the record with her win with Louis, after 7 years of mixed fortunes. And by the end that madness was BAKED ON wasn’t it? Even more so than with Camilla (6 years). Truly she earned that win, and a long and restful retirement with Jimi Mistry. And it looks like she’s passed her title of Official Strictly Shagger on to Janette Manrara. Aljaz, Artem AND Pasha? And she’s not even danced yet? I know I’m excited.

4 (5). Artem Chigvintsev – 8.01 (7.46)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Kara Tointon – Winner

Fewest Don’t Knows
Highest Series 8 Pro
Highest Winner

So…yeah…erm…Artem’s score went up this series. Quite a bit. How to explain that in the wake of Fern Britton and…all her bounty? Maybe you all appreciated seeing a different side of Artem to the driven competitive champion side? Maybe last year you were all so busy playing with your new hunk toy that you temporarily cast aside your old favourite, like Woody in Toy Story, and now are feeling guilty and have come to appreciate him again? Maybe you all welcomed a year off (more or less) from ZOMG JELUS KARA!!! stories? Maybe you found the “Team Fartem” team name just that funny? Maybe Strictly Confidential really was a compelling piece of dramatic theatre on a par with Arcadia or Into The Woods? Maybe you actually really enjoyed Fern’s dances? Alright, maybe not that last one. Still, Artem has BOUNCED BACK, up 0.55 points and one whole place in the Pro Poll.

3 (2). Pasha Kovalev – 8.12 (8.07)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Chelsee Healey – Runner-Up

Most 10s
Fewest Don’t Knows
Highest Currently Serving Pro

Pasha on the other hand had quite a strong year – getting another contender and producing some memorable choreography (mostly towards the end of the series it has to be said). And yet for him? No difference. Now that he’s partnered with Countdown Girl, maybe she can help him figure that one out?

2 (1). Ian Waite – 8.36 (8.3)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Denise Lewis – Runner-Up

Fewest 5s
Fewest 4s
Highest Male Pro
Highest Ex-Pro
Highest Series 2 Pro

What an alternative universe that image there conjures up…Anyway, yes, Ian Waite has been dethroned, and by his Pro Partner too. How much sharper than a serpant’s tooth it is, etc etc? After two years basking in gold at the top of the pro poll, Ian has been bumped down to second and shitty shitty silver. Still, his score kept on an upwards slope, presumably due to his still ticking around in the Strictly Old People’s Home that is It Takes Two, occasionally pretending he’s a fighter pilot with Karen, or losing his trousers in those comedy intro VTs that make the ones on the main show look like Peep Show. And one of the early series of Peep Show at that. It’s a living.

1 (8). Natalie Lowe  – 8.37 (7.13)

Most Common Score : 10
Best Finish : Ricky Whittle – Runner-Up

Highest Climber (Places)
Highest Climber (Scores)
Most 9s
Highest Female Pro
Highest Series 7 Pro

That’s right, there was only ever going to be one winner of the Pro Poll this year. Ian may have run her close, but this year Natalie finally had the breakthrough she had in public affection that I’ve been praying for her for the last two years (the portion of it that hangs around on the Internet anyway, I’m sure REAL people give as little of a shit about her as they do about anybody else but Poor Stoopid Anton), and this year she is officially your favourite Strictly Come Dancing pro of all time. Whether it was pwning Wembley, Michael’s Hallowe’en Quickstep breakthrough, her shocked face on being saved, or when she was wheeled towards Craig in a wheelbarrow swinging an axe and cackling her face off (HINT : it was that last one), Natalie Lowe has done it. She is your winner of the Strictly Pro Poll 2013, and hopefully that will salve some of the pain of her poor broken leg/ankle/whatever and also how she’s missed out on the opportunity to partner a Hairy Biker OH NOES.

End Of Ranking Sidebars :

Sidebar 1 : A Ranking Of The Pro Casts Of Strictly History, Based On The Results Of This Poll

Series 9 (Bestest)
Series 7
Series 4/5
Series 10
Series 6
Series 8
Series 3
Series 2
Series 1 (Worstest)

Sidebar 2 : An All-Stars Cast, Comprising Your 7 Favourite Female Pros, Your 7 Favourite Male Pros, And Their Most Popular Non-Winner Partner (Because All-Stars Series Should Never Have Winners In) In The Last Strictly World Cup, Except Natalie, Who’s Getting Michael, As He Giften Her Her BREAKTHROUGH

Artem Chigvintsev & Holly Valance
Brendan Cole & Kelly Brook
Darren Bennett & Emma Bunton
Ian Waite & Zoe Ball
Matthew Cutler & Christine Bleakley
Pasha Kovalev & Chelsee Healey
Vincent Simone & Rachel Stevens

Erin Boag & Austin Healey
Flavia Cacace & Matt Di Angelo
Karen Hardy & Bill Turnbull
Katya Virshilas & Gavin Henson
Lilia Kopylova & Aled Jones
Natalie Lowe & Michael Vaughan
Ola Jordan & Robbie Savage

WHAT A PROSPECT!

Until this time next year, keep on loving the pros. Apart from the ones you hate. Make fun of them. Boo.

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61 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing Pro Poll 2013 – RESULTS

  1. pootle

    Wow, I didn’t know I liked so many people. Mostly either ‘don’t know’ or 8-9-10 for me. Apart from Anton, obviously.

    Reply
    1. Deb

      I didn’t realise how many I didn’t like! I love the show though. Kristina gets a 10! Shame the voting didn’t start at zero for Anton.

      Reply
  2. Neio

    While voting, I felt sad about how many of my favourite pros aren’t part of the show anymore – Erin, Katya, Flavia, Ian… [sniff]

    Reply
  3. katy

    I’d’ve marked Karen Hardy higher, but I can’t get the image of Gary Rhodes and his piano playing out of my head.

    Reply
  4. SaraV

    I was amazed by how many of those I don’t/didn’t really like.

    But yes also saddened to realise all those I have liked are now no more.

    Reply
  5. throwbacktothefuture

    Think I was extremely generous in giving Aliona a 3 (never forgiving her for ruining Matt Baker’s chances, NEVER!). So devastating to remember that there won’t be Flavia, Vincent or Erin this year. 😥

    Reply
  6. PadsterMo

    Every time you do this Pro-poll I find that love Hayley Holt just a little bit more.

    “Treasure Island: Pirates Of The Pacific” sounds simultaneously awful and AMAZING.

    Reply
    1. Little Nemo

      I think I’d like Hayley Holt to be my friend so we could go out drinking and have mad adventures together 🙂

      Reply
      1. PadsterMo

        I watched the Orish version; it was rubbish and for that Iblame the lack of Hayley Holt. I want to go drinking with her and Katya.

    1. monkseal Post author

      It was an EROTIC EVENT in London that was going to revolve around the theme of dancing. Then the BBC threatened to sue, so it didn’t.

      Reply
      1. katy

        Can they sue for stealing a name which they stole in the first place?
        *Though I’m not bothering to look up whether they did steal it, or actually came to some agreement with Baz Luhrmann…

      2. monkseal Post author

        I don’t think EROTIC lawyers are generally amongst the best of their profession, so the tricksy BBC law team probably foxed them. Too much time biting the handle of their glasses, not enough time book-learning.

  7. camis71

    Oh dear, poor Karen. Mind you, other than *that* lift (/sweep, whatever), she didn’t really enter Strictly with a bang did she? It was all a bit meh.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I don’t remember which lift that lift was. I remember her bending over backwards and shuffling forwards like a zombie that just got a shotgun to the face though. In a waltz.

      Reply
      1. camis71

        Indeed – it was the lift / sweep that never was, but somehow managed to be contentious for some reason. Of course, he still had his hands in his pockets for most of the dance which pretty much renders the rest of the dance as immemorable

    2. Lou

      Karen just didn’t come across well. That stupid “vote for us” finger wiggle and the inability to keep her tongue in her mouuth overshadowed any dance ability she should have displayed.

      Reply
  8. MissE

    If we’ve still got some of the series 6 pros to come, how is Kristina the highest?

    Anyway, now I’ve got the query out of the way…really enjoying this and your write ups for the pros!

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Highest of the pros introduced in Series 6. It is a bit confusing but writing out “highest of the pros introduced in Series 6” was a bit long-winded so *makes scales gesture*. It’s only there for series where more than two pros were introduced at a time.

      Reply
    2. PadsterMo

      Surely it means ‘highest (new in) series 6’ pro? As in highest out of Kristina, Brian and Hayley?

      Meaning Pasha is/will be ‘highest series 9’ pro, Karen ‘highest series 10’ pro, and – by process of elimination – Artem will be ‘highest series 8’ pro.

      I’ve just realised that by my logic I have to decide whether Katya or Natalie deserves to be ‘highest series 7’ pro. Darn.

      Reply
  9. Pasta

    I miss Darren. When I think of him I always see his face in that backstage moment shown on ITT when Carole Smilie tweaked his nipple.

    Reply
  10. tabithakitten

    There are two pros today (give or take a few drunken hours), who have a “most common score” of 8 and yet an average score of under 7.

    I’m guessing they polarised the voters. In fact, I’m guessing several of those still to come did the same, bearing in mind, we still have twelve to come.

    I like that. Nothing like a polarised voter.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I just knocked up a quick polarisation coefficient and…

      OFFICIAL MOST POLARISING PROS IN THE STRICTLY PRO POLL 2013!

      1. James Jordan
      2. Aliona Vilani
      3. Iveta Lukosiute
      4. Nicole Cutler
      5. Robin Windsor

      OFFICIAL LEAST POLARISING PROS IN THE STRICTLY PRO POLL 2013!

      1. Kylie Jones
      2. Hayley Holt
      3. Natalie Lowe
      4. John Byrnes
      5. Hazel Newberry

      Reply
      1. Jayne

        John Byrnes only did series one so you wouldnt be surprised that he isnt remembered by more people. He was the consultant to the BBC for the show and it would have been a shambles if John hadnt shown them the way. He is actually one of the best qualified professional teachers in the country, his services are used by overseas dancers as well as top British couples. The pressure of work was the reason he only did the one show.

  11. durnovarian

    Just been doing some serious brain-racking (/wiki-ing) and have reached the following conclusions about the top 12:
    * 7 are not in this series, 4 are, and one is Natalie Lowe.
    * 2 have been in SCD from the beginning.
    * 8 are memorable, 4 I had to look up.
    * 6 are female, 6 are male. (So much for ovary-voting!)
    * I need to get out more.

    Reply
    1. camis71

      I did the same thing earlier – I too need to get out more! (Although there was an odd sense of satisfaction when I managed to remember who the 12 remaining pros were!)

      Reply
      1. durnovarian

        😀 Noticeable that the ‘top’ is even more skewed – of the top 10, only Artem, Pasha and Natalie are ‘current’ pros.

  12. Min

    Yes, but 6 of them were competing last year, which something 🙂
    Great top 10 – if I saw that list at the start of the series I’d be extremely happy!
    Am now sad it’s not the real list.

    Reply
  13. MissE

    It’s lovely to see that Natalie has crept up into people’s affections even more this year. I was one of the few who loved her from the off.
    With Flavia and Erin having left, I’m not sure she’ll have quite managed to be the top female…maybe in future years. 😉

    Reply
  14. elaine nankervis

    I can only see up to Number 5 but really want to know who is in the Top 4! Not sure why as I keep refreshing the page.

    Reply
  15. Neio

    Reading Erin’s entry, I’m still gutted she never won.

    In other news, Janette’s had Aljaz, Artem AND Pasha? Lucky bitch!

    Reply
  16. MissE

    The word ‘journey’ is overused on reality TV shows, but Natalie really has had one.

    And Ian and Natalie being the top two reminds me just how much I loved and miss them as a pro couple on Strictly.

    Reply
  17. Verns

    Huzzah! Natalie won! *strews rose-petals or something in her path* Maybe it was the axe-murderer in the wheelbarrow that did it, but she’s also – not incidentally – a pretty amazing dancer.

    Reply
  18. Missfrankiecat

    OMG how great would that All Stars be? Flavia and Matt Di would send DS into orbit; Zoe would have calmed down enough to win with Ian, no doubt and Erin and Austin would be robbed again!

    Reply
      1. stevenperkins

        I mean, I know some of them are a bit ropey but I can just imagine making a case for everyone else until I got to LOL CHRISTINE BLEAKLEY. I feel a bit bad for her, because Alex Jones came along a couple of years later and did her exact same journey a billion times better.

      2. monkseal Post author

        They could never have Aled Jones and Alex Jones in the same series. Bruce would have an aneurysm.

  19. seminaranalyse

    Long live Queen Natalie <3. I knew she won. Injury porn brought her over the finish line She will be hopefully fully back as a pro next series with her ringer.
    @stevenperkins: I don't think Alex Jones was better than Bleakley dancingwise. She was just 10thousand times more adorable even partnered with eternal tool James Jordan.

    Reply

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