Strictly World Cup Of DAHNCE 2013 – The Winner


As ever, these things end with a poorly Photoshopped image of a podium, with the roughly cut heads of the final 3 shabbily slapped on. So here we go.

That’s right, for the third year in a row, Kara Tointon wins the summer Strictly World Cup. In this case her American Smooth triumphed over Chelsee Healey’s quickstep, pushing it back into third place. Meanwhile, Mark defeated Alesha Dixon handily in the 3rd place play-off, with his Argentine Tango making sure all of our medalling dances were ballroom. Probably. Who knows what they categorise Argentine Tango as, and without Flavia & Vincent to keep their hands on the tiller, who knows just how much more…out there they will get.

For those missing their Strictly voting fix now that this festival of flicks, kicks, lifts and twirls is over, don’t worry. The Strictly Pro Poll 2013 is coming soon…


57 thoughts on “Strictly World Cup Of DAHNCE 2013 – The Winner

  1. Lucy

    …Look, I can only think of two Samba’s that I actually liked (and both of them was Ian not really doing Samba). Looking forward to the voting, though. πŸ˜€

    1. monkseal Post author

      I am shocked that you would imply that any of the Latin dances on this show are anything less than 100% authentic.

  2. Isolde

    I think Rock and Roll should be allowed to rest in peace. Let’s just pretend it never happened.

  3. Poppy

    I can’t abide samba, haven’t liked any of them. But that year that wardrobe decided to put great wads of feathery boas over the female dancers’ lady areas so they looked like they had great pink/yellow/purple/whatever shaggy pubic hair hanging down did add a certain amusement value.

  4. tabithakitten

    I’m not sure how you grouped these dances. Why am I looking at the options for quickstep in Group E and being peed off that to express my (not altogether secret) preference for Colin and Erin, I must therefore dismiss Scott and Natalie, yet shortly afterwards I find myself looking at Group J and thinking – really? I have to choose one of these but either Scott or Colin goes out? Weird. I ended up voting for Richard and Erin in group J just for lolz but it felt wrong,

    1. monkseal

      I think we all know that if I were *deciding*, I wouldn’t have put TIMEWARP in the same group as Jill’s all-conquering Jive. It’s just the luck of the draw.

    2. durnovarian

      I had the same problem with the salsas – voting for Austin OR Kara felt so wrong. And I understand why not, but I’m still very disappointed there’s no James/Artem rumba… πŸ˜‰

  5. SaraV

    Well I hope Michael and Nat’s shakin Stevens Kiev gets through. A classic Strictly dance …
    Disappointed it was Austin vs Ricky in the quickstep groupings together …

    1. monkseal Post author

      It beat Denise Lewis’ paso as well. INEXPLICABLE. Rachel’s paso getting through is also GOD’S OWN MYSTERY.

  6. durnovarian

    No Michael/Natalie jive.. πŸ˜₯

    Having got further than anyone could have expected with Audley and Vaughny, surely she’s due a contender this year?

  7. Neio

    I found the Waltzes pretty difficult to choose between at times – they just blur into a succession of different coloured arm hankies.

  8. Penny

    You swine Monkseal.

    Having carefully voted in the prevote for ALL THE TANGOS PLZ! I am now confronted with the choice between my three all-time faves, Harry’s vampire tango, Louis’s zombie tango and James Martin’s doll-murderer tango (what can I say, I like my tangos and I like them gimmicky) in the same group.

    I think I’m going to have to go for James Martin, because it’s classic Camilla choreography, and it’s the only way he’s going to get into the next round, but I am sulking from now on.

  9. Little Nemo

    I also chucked a vote Camilla’s way as it was an original (in a good way!) Tango πŸ™‚

    I realised half-way through voting that I can’t really remember the difference between the Waltz and the Viennese Waltz so some of those votes may have gone astray…

    Thanks for all your hard work organising this, Monkseal!

    1. monkseal Post author

      So sad that they dinged her for her choreography and she went distinctly duller after that.

  10. HeidiB

    Why isn’t Louis in your list in the category of Fusion? As he is the only male to have gained a 10 for the rumba.

      1. Left Feet

        I highly doubt that he would have got a 10 in a proper Rumba, even though it was last series I can’t even remember that dance.

  11. HeidiB

    Can’t agree with you Left Feet as Bruno, one of the best judges, gave Louis and Flavia a 10. That means that both halves were at the standard of a 10. No other pair in Strictly have received a ten for a Rumba.

    As you can’t remember the dance, information from your reply, how can you critique it?

  12. minxy

    I would be sooooooooo delighted if Michael and Nat won with This Old House …
    It just seems so fitting!
    please make it happen people!

  13. PadsterMo

    Groups B and H were impossible. It’s like Sophie’s Choice in the competition at this point.

    I think the Goddess of Dance/Strictly Perfect Diva is due this year again, isn’t she?

    1. durnovarian

      The maestro-ness of Monkseal – I was OK in B and H, but it was like choosing between my children in groups C and D… πŸ˜₯ and in group G I only voted once as I’m not wowed by any of the other three!

  14. Bashful82

    Everytimem I see St Jill with Darren, I vote for the opposite. She causes me to break out in hives [metaphorically speaking that is]

      1. PadsterMo

        Does this mean you’ll be covering Your Face Sounds Familiar?

        Denise, Alesha, Bunton……it’s practically a spin-off!

  15. Pops

    Seconded about the difficult choices.
    Also, watching the clips, I’m trying to work out why I love Ramps’ Argentine Tango as much as I do – content-wise, there’s not much to it compared to some that we’ve seen in subsequent years, but it’s still my fave AT and one of my all-time fave Strictly dances. As Len said, Ramps had the right look for it, I love that Karen underplays it a bit instead of gurning her face off (not that I didn’t love her gurning…) and I think the AT is one of the dances that most benefits from having partners of a similar height. There’s just an atmosphere to it that for me transcends them actually, you know, doing steps and that. (See also, to a lesser extent, Austin’s Paso Doble.)

  16. PadsterMo

    I am genuinely torn with some of these decisions. Watching the clips again (and there’s a couple that I rewatch quite often anyway) only confirms the amazingness of Natalie – she keeps all the props rubbish to the start and the end of the routine purely to set the scene/end on a flourish, something she did this year with Michael as well.

    I can appreciate how St Jill’s Blessed Jive of Jiveliness was probably amazing at the time (I only started watching in series 4), but I think we’ve seen better ones since. Plus. is it just me or did Darren pack on a few pounds between then and leaving?

  17. minxy

    Yeah I am voting without re seeing the dahnce (or even having any memory of some of them!
    Just following along the precedent set by the paid judges. Especially when the score
    Do I remember it? like it? Is anyone tickling my ovaries? like one of the people involved more? Do I really dislike anyone so auto vote the opposition? am I hungry? who farted? Ah sod it who does Monkie like? – sometimes even that isn’t enough to actually vote in some of the choices

    Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no Nat Micheal lumberjacking!! wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh wahhhhhhhhhhhh wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Never ever ever will I be convinced that that isn’t the most worthy winner. Since when has technical ability been the be all and end all on this show? Not even in the dance offs.

  18. Ferny

    Kara is my favourite of all time, but the American Smooth is not one of my favourites 😦 Was hoping for a Goldeneye win!

  19. PadsterMo

    I love Kara’s American Smooth purely because they danced it in the finals knowing it would piss Len off and he’d mark them down, but they didn’t care. I also love how its the ULTIMATE INJURY PORN DAHNCE, what with Artem breaking his neck the first time and Kara’s arm falling off the second time they performed it. I prefer her tango though. Chelsee’s quickstep was certainly one of her best dances and probably the first one she did that made me think she could go far in the competition, but I preferred her jive. I’m completely stumped!

    The third place play-off is much easier – Mark’s AT is my favourite of his routines, whereas Alesha’s CCC, whilst probably her most iconic (drink) dance, isn’t my favourite of hers – her Viennese Waltz and her ‘made up on the spot’ Paso are better in my eyes (plus the showdance, helped by the fact that Holding Out For A Hero is an AMAZING track to run to when energy levels are starting to drop – really helped when I hit the wall in the marathon!)


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