So it’s time for Alex’s vampire chickens to come home to roost as, after 8 solid weeks of giving it the big “I Am” from the backseat of the Apprenticar, Lordalan forces Myles and Dr Leah to stop sniggering behind their sleeves and let him be Project Manager already. It’s a make-or-break situation, so of course Alex breaks like a virgin’s neck at his own foul hands, and he’s a dead dead man walking all episode.
The task is to create, formulate and brand a ready meal and then sell it to three major retailers that Lordalan has laid on who then buy quantities according to the quality of the…erm…potential quality of the…no it’s gone. To have one of these “Lordalan blatantly decides the winner based on nothing” tasks only one week after the last one feels a bit…unfair, but I guess we have to clear out our remaining comedy candidates asap before the end-game.
Neil is PM for Evolve, and he and Luisa form an unholy Power Couple, forcing Francesca into the kitchen despite her own stated inability to cook. She spends the whole episode squeaking and complaining about how they’re stabbing her in the back and setting her up to fail, and it’s kind of sad. Although at the same time, kind of hilarious, as Kaen swans around obliviously saying “oooh, Luisa’s really changed! She’s not game-playing anymore! I like her now! What a professional businesswoman!”, whilst Francesca curses her very name and sets her own hair on fire whilst trying to create a Caribbean/Thai fusion meal. The end result is utterly utterly tasteless which…looking at the process of creating it, is the happiest outcome you can get. Imagine it having a taste. Yick. Anyway, Luisa and Nick create the branding (straight from 90s gameshow Banzai) and then Neil pitches everyone into a coma. Including Kaen, who is apparently now off the Neil Neckbeard Love Train. This means that the ultimate outcome of Kaen’s Feminist reccy on Luisa is that…she’s the best. Job’s a good’un. Promote Detective Kaen to the Head Of The Wimmin In Bizniz Unit.
Over on Endeavour meanwhile, the whole task comes down to a clash of wills between Alex and Myles, their simmering feud boiling over in a battle to decide whether the team should go for “Horrible Histo….Dinners” or “Foods From Around The World feat. Popty Ping”, the former being the suggestion of Myles, and the latter the brainchild of Alex. Popty Ping is a little mascot that Alex has created (it’s a stickman). Mercifully “Popty Ping” is somehow not something incredibly racist, but the Welsh for “microwave”. Alex hems and haws forever on a car journey to nowhere that seems to last half the episode, and eventually settles on Myles idea. Which, we’re told for the rest of the episode, is inappropriate for any number of asinine reasons dreamt up by hypersensitive parents and an incredibly sour Nick. This sadly means that all the amazing work done by Jordan and Dr Leah in the kitchen is for naught. Everyone apart from Alex pitches – Jordan is good, Myles is awful, and we don’t know how good Dr Leah is because all the men keep on yammering over her. What a shame that Detective Kaen of the Feminist CID can’t follow both teams, she would have put a RIGHT stop to that.
Anyway, Evolve win for whatever bloody reason, who even cares, and then they go and drive Ferraris around and hate one another some more. In the boardroom, Alex clearly just wants to yell abuse at Myles for a solid 15 minutes for spending the last three episodes doing literally nothing other than dicking him over, and I’m almost sorry that he doesn’t get the chance. Almost, because Lordalan forces him to bring back Dr Leah as his other option, and she and Myles spend the whole boardroom yelling psychotically at one another about how boring they think the other one is. Lordalan acts like Dr Leah being a boggle-eyed aggressive nut is an entirely new side to her, because apparently that whole episode in Dubai NEVER HAPPENED, and…it’s kind of hard to tell whether he likes it or not, but I’m going with the former.
Alex gets fired for being a lightweight dilettante, and also for not finding some way to stop Myles dicking him over despite Lordalan’s best attempts to buy him a clue. It’s been a one-two punch to this blog’s readers Personal Favourites these last two episodes, and I feel for you all in your collective hour of need.
Next week : Speaking of chickens coming home to roost, Lordalan restages “Men vs Women” to see what’s changed. Unfortunately, it’s via the (*sigh*) “Smelling What’s Selling” task.