Time in Week 2 for the candidates to enter the food preparation industry. This always ends well. By which I mean “with actual human deaths”. This year’s consumable of choice is beer. Flavoured beer. Something other than the usual flavour of beer, which is “stale, rotten yeast”.
But first we get a patented Apprentice team shuffle, in which Tim is parachuted in to try to save the flailing, bitchy, high-school women’s team. You know, like Stella English in reverse. To say Tim Stillwell is no Stella English would be quite some understatement. Not even in reverse.
But first but first, we get our obligatory “let’s all perve on the male candidates in their morningwear” segment. It feels about as gratuitous as it always does. Points of notes include Myles being actually naked, Neil having the arm-tattoos to match his neckbeard, and Jason wearing pristine jim-jams straight out of boarding school. I do feel sorry for the show’s straight male and lesbian female and bisexual both viewers, who just get Luisa running round the house squirping like she’s left her love eggs in. Maybe if you shut your eyes…
Endeavour spend the week labouring under the yoke of Kurt, who speaks for the very first time this episode. It still doesn’t make him any more interesting. Apparently he has expertise in the drinks industry, and yet the team somehow do not lose. Not even after Jordan suggests a Nettle Beer, on the grounds that it is “dangerous and edgy”, and they almost go with it. Happily, this idea is nixed at the last minute in favour of a chocolate orange flavoured variety, suggested be Neil, called…(*sigh*) “A Bitter This”. Kurt then sends Zeeshaan (a teetotaller) and Jason (a Jason) off to the beer factory to make all the beer. And yet the team somehow do not lose. Then, the next day, Kurt creates the subteam of Alex, Zeeshaan and Jason, and sends them out to sell to trade without any samples. Not that it matters, because Jason is more focused on wrecking sales, and Alex and Zeeshaan more focused on bullying Jason for wrecking sales (and being a Jason) than actually selling. And yet the team somehow do not lose.
The reasons they do not lose mostly lie with Evolve failing harder. With Tim for taking the Project Management approach of…not Project Managing, at all. With Rebecca for choosing and pushing hard for the prime sales location of “some pub in rural Kent”. And with Francesca for getting the sums required to produce their beer so wrong, that it is actually technically speaking classified as a weapon of mass destruction mid-episode and destroyed with a controlled explosion. So those are the three going into the Boardroom, to try and defend their “rhubarb and caramel” beer, that makes mens tongues dry up like withered slugs (WHY GOD WHY?). In the run-up, Natalie, Luisa and Uzma form some sort of unholy Burgess Meredith trio to Tim’s Rocky, trying to coach him to knock Rebecca out and get her fired. Sadly it turns out that this is unviable, as Rebecca turns out to have been the best salesperson on the whole damned show, two episodes in a row, and Tim’s not really built for bar-room brawls anyway, so he’s the show’s second firing. Awww.
Also Alex and Jason run around Belgium dressed like Death In Venice and Dr Who respectively. It has to be seen to be believed.
Next Week : Jason calls Jordan fat.