Strictly Come Dancing 10 – Week 9 Performance Summary

So in summary :

Louis & Flavia had the Charleston when he can’t gurn
Tracy & Vincent had the Viennese Waltz when her waltz was a hideous mess
Denise had the salsa when her cha cha was her worst dance so far
Kimberley had a jive when she has dodgy knees
Lisa had a quickstep when she can’t do elegant or bouncy
Nicky had Argentine Tango when his connection with his partner has been minimal
Michael had a samba

I can’t work out if it’s a good or bad thing that I went into the show expecting 7 Strictly Trainwrecks, and I came out with only 3.5. Although on the other that does feel like it might be the ratio for a perfect episode of Strictly. Only improving matters is the fact that all of the judges spew out a non-stop torrent of innuendo and filth all evening whilst Widdy is sat watching on Starship Karen. I bet she turned PURPLE.

Anyway, let’s start with the bad. Michael, as I said, has samba, and sadly no amount of tropical shirts, FIERCE HEAD-DRESSES or whirling from Natalie can disguise the fact that he still can’t really DO Latin, although at least this week he got a break from having to hoist Natalie into a lift by her knickers every five seconds. Afterwards Bruno tells him that he would have done it better if he were bisexual. I doubt it. Also struggling with Latin is Denise, whose salsa goes horribly wrong, with missed sections, awkward lifts and a complete lack of hip action. What she does have? Spins, and lots of them. And they’re all that’s saving her from truly woeful scores, as she just about manages to scoop up 8s. Also arguably helping her is a gallant James, who admits that it was all his fault that the dance went wrong. For the second week in a row. Throwing his own employability down at the altar of hauling Denise through another week. What a gentleman. *sniff*

Also stinking the place out are Lisa & Robin, whose quickstep features the most awkward intro of any dance I can remember that didn’t involve a harness. It is notionally a tribute to Morecombe & Wise, with Lisa playing the wacky Eric and Robin taking the role of the straight man. It’s no wonder it didn’t really work isn’t it? It’s an absolute hot mess on canary yellow wheels and the “great energy” comments from from the judges feel the most rote and trotted out they ever have.

Producing half a pile-up are Kimberley & Pasha who apparently have a dodgy hip to add to her busted knee this week. It’s a wonder she makes as good a job of it as she does, but in a series that’s held many memorable and exciting jives, it doesn’t really cut it to fall behind completely halfway through. Also she brings some fake “Jive Bunny” along with her to the Tessanine and in training which doesn’t really qualify as a “Comedy VT” so much as some producer’s mid-life breakdown that never should have made it to air.

And so to the people who surpassed my expectations : firstly Nicky, who produces a very intense, if a little giddy Argentine Tango to “Skyfall” because apparently it is now mandatory for ALL Argentine Tangos performed by the male celebrities to me James Bond themed. THANKS A LOT, RAMPS! More excitingly, Karen starts crying over him for absiolutely no discernable reason, whilst he continues to barely even notice she’s there. We’re really getting to the End Of Series Madness stage now folks, so brace yourselves.

The two dances of the night, however come from the Vincent & Flavia stable that more and more is looking like it’s going to scrap over the end-game with Denise. Maybe if the Iveta Kurse hadn’t hit Sid Owen, we’d be having a Series 4 BONANZA at the end. As it stands, this week, both of the Italian Power Couple’s charges have performance breakthroughs, with Tracy’s maybe being a tad less…forced by the scriptwriters than Louis’. She does an incredibly cheesy but likable and fresh Viennese Waltz to “That’s Amore” and he does a swivelly powerful Charleston to something by Caro Emerald apparently, I dunno. It looks like we might have a fight on our hands.

(The screaming terrifying powerful TIDAL WAVE OF OVARY POWER that followed Louis’ dance and the accompanying judges comments and scores may have tipped you the wink as to the way that fight will end…)


43 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 10 – Week 9 Performance Summary

    1. Penny

      We have been promised the Argentine Tango Battle To The Death in the final. Plus Louis’s Showdance should be worth watching – I have faith in Flavia and, like Darcey, I like all the tacky tricks.

  1. Left Feet

    Louis breakthough was so scripted you could see it a mile off and the sheer Ovary power was frighting a lot of women who are old enough to be his mum or grandma and should really know better (silly bints) however credit where its due he did at last perform and Craig gave him an eight so there you go. Apart from that the only dacne I really enjoyed was Dani’s, Vincent managing to make the VW look exciting.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Were there women actually dancing in the background when Darcey gave him his 10? I swear it’s times like these I’m glad I’m gay…

      1. Left Feet

        Probably all that footstamping whats that all about, it was a good dance but only the ruddy Charleston.

  2. Stormy

    This week was just plain horrifying. It was a perfect storm of utter crap, between Brucie continuing to fall apart, Bruno still thinking that he needs to have a pissing match with Craig EVERY BLOODY WEEK, Lisa’s horrific dance getting nice comments because bless her she’s a fat girl with energy (as a fat girl, I’m sick of the patronizing. Had she been several stone lighter or one of the guys, she’d have been eviscerated no matter how much energy she put into it.), the psychotic shrieking over Louis’ minimal effort at having some sort of personality by the audience, and the inevitability of what’s coming for my favorite couple tomorrow. (Because he’s already been in the DO twice, and while that dance was not his worst by far, the judges loathed it for some reason and admittedly it wasn’t all that good. And no matter who he’s up against tomorrow, the judges seem to have this intense need to boot him, so he’s screwed unless they implode.)

    All that and this cold making me feel like my head is full of cement. This weekend sucks. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    1. monkseal Post author

      I was expecting it to be SO BAD going in that the fact that only three of them REALLY messed up was enough for me.

  3. David

    I really can’t warm to Louis, Half because he has the personality of a brick and half because I could see his granny, mother and housewife-fuelled win from the launch show. I’d much rather Dani win ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  4. Carl

    I’m having a tough time being interested in watching these last few weeks. I mostly keep up because I enjoy your blog, but the Louis “breakthrough” is so badly scripted I just can’t watch it. It gives me a migraine. They’ve spent weeks stalling and stalling on this when the outcome was glaringly obvious. He does the same dance every single week, and they do panto comments to try to hide the dreariness. I actually feel insulted by everything surrounding him. I know that’s not his fault, I blame the show, but it’s shit.

    I should be enjoying this series, but there just isn’t much to care about.

    1. Missfrankiecat

      At the risk of having my (barely functioning at the best of times) ovaries blamed for a pro-Louis comment, he really, really doesn’t do the same dance every week. He may have the same passive facial expression every week but he has mastered the steps and many of the lines of different dances as far as the choreography Flavia’s particular brain storm on any given week has allowed us to discern.

      1. Carl

        Technically he does a good job, but performance wise, I don’t see any difference week to week. Everything blurs together. I see comments at times that this is some type of grand sarcastic statement about how ridiculous the show is. If this is all some ironic sociological commentary from Flavia and Louis, that’s great, but it passes me by .

        I would care more if the judges just offered technical critiques or performance critiques. The “breakthrough” stuff annoys me too much, because it becomes all about the show, the judges, the production. It’s not fair to Louis, to Flavia, or to viewers.

  5. breppo

    After the excitement of the Grand Finale of DWTS, last night was a bit of a cold shower.
    Which I could do without, but a lot of ladies in the audience certainly needed to avoid spontaneous combustion.
    With hind sight the quality of dancing on the rebooted Dutch version wasn’t so bad after all. At least compared to what Strictly had to offer. BTW thanks to the lovely, lovely woman of the costume department we now know that the dresses are re-used in France. Dutch production already told that they also use the services of the costume department. Now that’s what I call sensible in these economic slightly less exuberant times.
    For me there was only one dance that was acceptable and that was Dani and Vincent’s Italian flavoured VW. The rest was below par. Even Louis and Flavia’s Charleston. It lacked a bit of zest. Needs more seasoning, the Masterchef boys would have critiqued.
    Wasn’t the intro VT the most pointless one ever? And Nicky’s comment at the end. Never in the history of reality TV were truer words spoken. Me thinks he really, really meant it.

    1. monkseal Post author

      It felt too genial and scripted. I think Kimberley’s utterly glazed over face throughout represented the true spirit of the VT. (You know, glazed over more tha usual).

      1. breppo

        I’ve re-watched it and you’re right. Nicky’s utterance was too scripted.
        Did notice Kimberley’s extra glazed look.
        “Look at the glaze on that rack”, the boys from Masterchef would have marveled.

  6. Kelly

    Having got bored with Lisa a few weeks ago, I am now officially bored of the whole thing. The only thing I’ll take away from this series is that Michael is more attractive than I knew. Not saying much, is it?

      1. Kelly

        I think it’s malfunctioning ovaries – but only temporary as it was back to normal by the results show.

  7. Missfrankiecat

    Just adored Vincent’s choreography for Danni. There was actually quite a few things wrong with her execution of it (if one is being picky given her aptitude and experience) but I found it a lovely performance. Vincent at his best really choreographs for his celeb’s personality and body shape with much more skill than most of the other pros. If we take James, for eg, none of his creations (let alone a ‘boring’ ballroom like VW) actually say something individually about Denise, other than she is a good dancer. Although maybe choreographing an ageing ladette VW would stretch even Vinnie!

    1. monkseal Post author

      I see it ending with her slumping to the floor, first first into a discarded kebab. Could be full of pathos. Very “Sun And Fun”.

    1. monkseal Post author

      It really would be so much cheaper (and more flattering) if they gave her longer dresses, and I’m not normally one who notices at all how people (other than Tess) are dressed.

  8. Alli

    The thing I’m finding the funniest is the level of tizzy going on with men. They’re all up in arms at the amount of ovary voting going on, my ovaries have finally mastered the iPhone, and the amount of bitter, jellus hatah-ry amongst them is hilarious to see ๐Ÿ˜€

    Not you, of course, mighty Monkseal, you are truly impartial.

    Apart from the stupid faces in Louis’ charleston, his level of technique was brilliant. Finally, the first charleston since Kara where both partners had proper swivel and I’m obsessed with charleston swivel. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ˜€

    1. Poppy

      I agree about the swivel, he’s the first one I’ve seen this series to bother with it. I can’t remember whether Craig mentioned it or not?

      1. Alli

        Nope just mentioned that he’d finally got “some performance” in there, I’d love to know how high Louis was meant to dial that charleston to please Craig. Full on transvestite kit and sat in his lap licking his face probably.

      2. Left Feet

        Not from me he did a good job and I’m glad he did so. I think in the last two weeks before now he has underperformed but he did step up this week. Still think that the crowd at the studio were a bit sad and were drunk on something, not even Mark Rampakash or Harry Judd got that reaction.
        Don’t really care about the guys most of the best dancers on the show have been female if you look at the averages.

  9. Poppy

    I’m getting a bit fed up with Lisa’s dancing now. She seems a lovely person, but she can’t really dance to the standard of any of the others excepting Michael. If she doesn’t go this week, I hope she goes next week. With all the positive judges’ comments she’s rapidly becoming this series’ Dr Hamela for me, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

    1. Stormy

      I dunno, after watching her Quickstep, I’d say she can’t even really dance to Michael’s standard, either. At least, not anymore. But hey, she’s the bubbly chubby lady, so lets patronize her and be surprised she’s showing any energy at all. I like her personality, and enjoy her friendship with Robin, but enough is enough. She didn’t improve whatsoever, and now it’s pretty likely that she’s going to be staying in to the detriment of dancers who *have* improved.

      1. Poppy

        “Bubbly” does seem to be the judges’ word of choice for her, doesn’t it? I still think the judges are giving her high scores because she has a low public vote and the producers want her kept in a bit longer (please don’t let it be until the bitter end), but then I am a bit of a conspiracy theorist, and I can’t bring myself to believe that they actually really do think she’s a good dancer.

      2. Stormy

        @Poppy – See, I’m different. My conspiracy theory is that she *is* popular, but that the judges are overly kind to her dancing because they’re afraid of the outcry if they were really harsh on her, because you just *know* that people will flood the complaint line to say that they were being mean to her because she’s fat.

    2. monkseal Post author

      Lisa should WISH that she could ever attain the heights of TRAINWRECK GODDESS Dr Hamela. She’s really more of a Letitia without the finesse.

  10. ooh

    I’m still trying to work out why Denise and James annoy me so much when I’ve been happily behind other Dirty Ringers and Obvious Frontrunners like Kara and Mark and Harry. I think it’s the training VTs. Kara had the decency to ignore her brilliant dancing and concentrate on the FORBIDDEN LOVE and Artem’s broken neck. I can’t remember anything about Harry’s VTs at all, but they probably involved Aliona learning to drum in a mermaid costume or something.

    Denise’s “OMG I AM SO WORRIED I FELLED OVER” and James’ perpetual frown just serve to remind me of the ringerness somehow.

    1. monkseal Post author

      She’s also got a bit of what Fern had I think. You get so used to presenters being in the position of authority and asking the questions, that when they’re on the other end it all feels a bit unnatural.

      Of course Alex Jones never had this problem, because she never had any authority anyway.

  11. Deb

    It is amazing that people consider the best dancers in this competition to be Louis and Denise. How can Denise be the best dancer when all she can do is spin…. She can’t shake her shoulders or her non existent hips. She’s horrible at latin and she has the worse choregoragher in James. Sadly he’s not that great a dancer himself so how can he teach her? Louis is stiff and the most unrhythmic dancer of the group. He looks good because he has good posture. His hands are to limp in every dance. He really needs to quit trying to moonwalk or get Pasha to show him how it’s really supposed to be done. Kimberley gets knocked down by alot of people, called a bot and boring but it is a dance competition and she is probably the best out of the lot even with hip and leg injuries. Dani is OK, but her face looks the same all the time and she doesn’t show personality in her dances. Lisa is the most rhythmic but what good does it do her when all she can do is shake her hips. All her dances are the same and she should have been gone 4 dances ago.
    Harry was not a great dancer either but he had the fanbase so guess Louis will win based on that to.

  12. Kate

    I’m biologically programmed to vote for Louis. Given that my son is in class with the sister of the girlfriend of his team mate Sam (how’s that for a connection?) I am old enough to be his mother and I adore him. And Jive Bunny! My husband and I met over Jive Bunny.
    Sorry Monkseal, I’ll take my hormones and leave.


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