Strictly Come Dancing 10 – Week 5 Results Summary

Our opening pro dance answers the question “what will they do for pro dances without obvious theming to lean on?”. Answer? Make the male pros run around stripping off, motorboating the judges, and generally acting like they’re pissed off they didn’t get cast in Magic Mike. Artem and Pasha get their tits out ; James, Vincent, Robin, and Brendan don’t ; Anton does, but backstage, and then has a bit of a cry. The whole thing is sadly missing Erin, standing at the side, looking pissed off.

Backstage with Claudia, everyone molests Vincent, Victoria flashes Claudia, we find out who has a crush on Artem, everyone’s still doing it Gangnam Style, the Nicky vs Michael BANTERWARZ continue, and we are still no closer to finding out who that sexy mummy was. Answers on a postcard please. Mercifully, we are spared the sight of Tess throwing shade at Claudia for “sneaking around” backstage. This is clearly solely because she’s getting to present the show next week, as Bruce is on holiday. Can’t wait. (By which I mean I very definitely can wait). A joke is made about Ronnie Corbett doing it. Some things…shouldn’t be joked about.

There two musicals guests this week : The Wanted, who have brought an entire IBEFA ARMY with them, and Andrea Bocelli who has to rely on Pasha and (randomly) Karen to do some contemporary wafting for him. One of the two experience is more aurally pleasant than the other. Guess which one. Never mind The Wanted, one of you’s still fit. I think.

This week’s adventures in Len’s Glans cover Erin laughing her way around Erin Island as Richard messes up ; Len yelling ; Dani’s jive getting (some of) the recognition it deserved ; Len waving his paddles around obnoxiously ; Artem’s tits ; Kimberley’s tits. So if you ignore the bits that don’t involve Len, it’s actually quite an enjoyable edition for once, regardless of your persuasion. Good job, Len’s Glans.

Our Bottom 2? Entirely conveniently for the purposes of producing a dramatic Dance-Off (for once), it’s Richard getting another go, getting his foxtrot right, and knocking somebody out. Said somebody being Colin Salmon whose complete lack of a fanbase finally saw for him. Kristina is PISSED OFF but unsurprised, and Colin gives a goodbye speech like he’s leading the charge at the Somme. The other celebrities act like he is as well.

Luvvies, eh?


12 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 10 – Week 5 Results Summary

  1. Carl

    I noticed last week that on ITT Zoe tried to give the impression that Colin being in the bottom two was a shock. I wonder if we’re going to hear that this was a “shocking elimination.” I understood why he went as soon as I saw that awkward, half-asleep weaving around the dance floor, followed by the high kicks that reminded me of Molly Shannon’s Sally O’Malley character (a woman who constantly went to auditions, shouting, “I’M 50 YEARS OLD! “I LIKE TO KICK AND STRETCH AND KICK! I’M 50!” followed by her doing absurd high kicks). Kristina didn’t help, but he just seemed ungainly.

    Most of the talk I’ve seen has revolved around Richard accidentally kissing Erin on the lips, how enraged she must have been, and how this will never happen again. Isn’t it ironic that the one year someone could believably write up a tabloid “romance” between a gay man and a woman on Strictly, absolutely no one would want to hear about it?

    1. monkseal Post author

      Kristina making sure they dances in a great big circle like a bus trying to get round a narrow corner was pretty funny. Either he was leftover after they paired everyone else up, or he was a last minute replacement, because that partnershhip never made a lick of sense to anyone, and it showed.

      Re : Erin, I refuse to believe that is not a woman who would tell someone to piss right off if she found their physical approaches overbearing. It’s ERIN. For whatever reason it’s not bothering her, although I can see why people might find his luvvieness a bit cringy. I thought he was really likable this week – just a shame no-one was going to give him a Di Angelo Bounce. So to speak.

  2. Left Feet

    Not a shock to me really as he was average with no real fan base, probably should have won the dance off, but we would gone anyway in a week or two. Shame that the forums are attacking Victoria Pendleton, makes a changes from Denise I suppose, all because Craig marked her dance the same as Louis Smith. The level of debating skills on there are primary school level. In the whole scheme of things she finished 11th out of 12 and Bruno had a real go at her this week what more did they want the whole panel to rip her to shreds!

    1. monkseal Post author

      With Victoria I just think it’s hilarious how people describe things that literally bear no relation to what happens on screen. People say she didn’t get constructive comments (she did), that she didn’t get insulted (she did), that she danced like Fiona Phillips (she didn’t) and that she had another weepy meltdown (she didn’t). And none of that’s debatable either. It’s not like “FERN LOOKED WELL PISSED OFF, SHE CAN’T TAKE CRITICISM AT ALL!!!” or whatever where you can debate it either way. I can’t quite believe we’re at the stage 5 weeks in where people have decided what’s going to happen on their tvs and SCREW what actually comes out. Normally it takes a bit longer.

      1. Carl

        I guess Victoria is too much of a magnet for people to ignore. She’s what Denise might have been, in hate figure terms, if Denise were a little more interesting or openly needy.

        I think there’s a certain level of angst surrounding fan views of Denise/Victoria/maybe Kimberley which is always going to threaten to boil over.

        I also think Fern would be getting more of this if she weren’t partnered with everyone’s favorite woobie and pin-up.

        I’m not even sure what Victoria did to warrant the anger, other than people snapping because of the coddling of earlier weeks. The cardinal sin seems to be that she got the same score from Craig as Louis, in a week where Louis basically just thrust his crotch at random intervals and was never in any danger of leaving. I hear, “Craig must explain!” Why is anyone expecting rational scoring out of Craig? The only thing I want to hear from Craig is why he’s no longer pretending Lisa is any good.

  3. Breppo

    Hahaha, leading the charge at the Somme.
    Is there anything more grave than getting the boot at a reality TV show?
    Getting your money nicked by Twisted Sisters on another reality show perhaps?

    1. monkseal Post author

      Ryan & Abbie/Thieving Twinsies/Chippendales ❤

      (I cannot believe that they forced the Rock Lawyers to BEG in BANGLADESH and didn’t even give Natalie/Nadiya/Trey/Lexi a penalty for stealing all their money. So bizarre. Maybe they’ll address it next week)

      1. Breppo

        The TAR forums are awash with conspiracy theories. It’s like DS to the tenth power.
        It’s supposed to have been a setup by the producers to create some drama in an otherwise rather dull season.
        It’s a bit like Strictly where the formula to select the contestants is no longer working as good as in earlier seasons. In come the theme weeks, comedy VT’s, trumped up drama and what not.
        Monstertrucker’s goodbye speech on the mat was as poignant as Colin’s. In both cases they made me, irrationally and for a short time, feel sorry for them to leave so soon.

      2. monkseal Post author

        It did, until they started dancing. The SUPREME sympathetic redemption goodbye will forever be Nate & Jen for me. SO.EPIC.

  4. Breppo

    @monkseal Yep, that was quite a realisation that you let a reality TV show ruin your relationship.
    I wonder if there are Scrictly contestants who feel the same.


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