Strictly Come Dancing 10 – Week 4 Performance Summary

Didn’t we just DO a Theme Week? Well yes, but apparently that’s not going to stop them raiding the dressing-up closet again. To be fair, Hallowe’en Week is now a permenant fixture in the Strictly calendar, just like “Wembley Week”, “The Week Where Everyone’s Crap” and “The Week When Karen Hardy Claims All The Male Celebrities Should Have Got A 10 Just Because”. If they’d cancelled it, the Strictly fandom would have been protesting in the streets desperate for the return of spooky VTs and clip on bat-ears.

No?

We open (after a group dance themed around the 50th graveyard dinner-table banquet in reality tv history) with Tracy & Vincent doing a cha-cha to the Scooby Doo theme tune. Which, as a sentence, I think honestly could serve as a recap in and as of itself, as it’s kind of indicative of the week as a whole. She’s alright, the music and costumes (she’s a sexy Velma, he’s Fred and Shaggy’s love child with Daphne’s crotch) make it absolutely impossible to take it seriously. In the end it turns out it was all Old Man du Beke’s fault. Whatever *it* was. We then motor through a paso doble where Richard has come as Simon Cowell and Erin has come as the desire to burn the whole studio down to O Fortuna. I’m not really sure where Erin goes from here. Once you’ve gone pyromaniac, I’m not sure where else there even IS to go. The wheels of the evening then come off completely, with Lisa doing the same dance for the third time in four weeks, and doing it even worse than last time, when she did it worse than she did it the first time. This time she’s not a disco diva or a scuzzy nightclub prozzy but a witch in lime green tights. Grotbags isn’t even the word. A nadir is struck when Sid & Ola are Ghostbusters after about one hour’s training (Sid’s been working with Iveta all week because Ola’s had a family emergency, and it shows) and he’s clearly NOT INTO IT AT ALL. He does manage to sass Craig though, which is the main thing.

Nicky briefly gets the show back on the road with his first half-decent dance yet, a Jerry Lewis inspired tango to “Weird Science”. Maybe I’m just excited that it looks like a tango, after Sid’s effort last week. Of course the scoring’s so off-kilter this series is that it gets lower marks than his quickstep last week did despite being ten times better. OH WELL.

We then cycle listelessly through Fern’s American Smooth (she’s a killer queen – the way she kills is a slow asphyxiating death from boredom) and Denise’s cha cha (she’s a CRAZY CIRCUS FREAK in that she’s stumbling out of a cage with PURPLE EYEBROWS. WACKY!). At this point the show badly needs a kick up the arse with some exciting, lively, enthusiastic, expectation defying dances. And it comes! And it comes courtesy of MICHAEL VAUGHAN and VICTORIA PENDLEDRAMA!

I know, right?

Natalie completely ignores all but the most rudimental elements of the theme (MOYKUL’S LOYKE…A MAJISHIN. BUT…ERM…HE’S DID? OY THINK? A BIT DID?) in favour of producing a dance and a half of a quickstep, showing Erin just how a one week redemption arc ballroom dance is done these days. Maybe they can get together and inspire one another on some Greek island or something. It’ll be like The Color Of Money – Natalie’s Tom Cruise and Erin’s Paul Newman. BOOK IT! Victoria meanwhile does some major Corpse Bride tango work with only a minimum of dragging and wobbling and stuff. Everyone loves it, and Victoria smiles to herself. PENDLEDRAMA TRIUMPHANT AGAIN. DEAL WIV IT!

The night goes on from there, but those two dances were really the peak. Kimberley’s werewolf paso doble and Louis’ zombie tango are of about the standard you’d expect from frontrunners at this stage, and I’m sure if you’re into either them they were the BEST DANCE OF THE SERIES SO FAR OMG. And the less said about Colin’s wizardy salsa with Kristina the better. I know Dumbledore was supposed to be gay, but I don’t think he was supposed to be THIS GAY. Whatever happens, Strictly Hallowe’en Night 2012 will always belong to Michael, Natalie, Brendan and Victoria, just like Hallowe’en Night 2010 belonged to TIME WARP and Hallowe’en Night 2011 sadly belonged to Chelsee’s left nipple.

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41 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 10 – Week 4 Performance Summary

  1. Pops

    I initially thought Sid’s slouchy cha cha walks were a tribute to Bill Murray loping down the street at the end of the Ghostbusters video, but then I realised that it was just all a bit half-arsed. Still thought a 2 was a tad harsh though. Robin definitely needs to lay off the arm movements in his routines for Lisa – at this rate, their salsa is just going to be The Macarena.

    Reply
  2. Robbie

    Sid was appalling (pit-stains and all) – although fair enough for sob-story avoidance; they might as well have sing-shouted “there’s somebody at the door!” before Lisa’s Grotbags tribute (though she certainly sells every dance); and I thought Victoria’s tango was fantastic. How nice to have some positive PENDLEDRAMA! before the inevitable collapse into gut-churning lachrymosity next week….. And Louis and Kimbot really were brilliant.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Apparently she’s got the samba next week. I cannot WAIT. I hope they make it proper Latin, rather than pop music or disco. I can only hope.

      Reply
  3. Carl

    Could we count Brendan putting Lulu on the harness so he could run around like a lunatic to “Highway to Hell” as a highlight of last Halloween? If so that would be a threepeat. Brendan in his element.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I do like that moment, because it’s probably the most ignored OH MY GOD THEY’RE FLYING!!! moment the show has done since they started trussing people up ir harnesses, when it was the only one that looked remotely justified. Also Brenda sliding down the bannister <3.

      Reply
  4. Kelly

    I think Natalie actually took the Halloween theme further than anyone and has spent all week in the lab cloning Michael while splicing in some dancer genes. That had to be a mutant Michael, it was a brilliant dance.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I like the idea of Natalie doing science. I’m sure she tells all the individual cells that they are AMOYZING.

      Reply
  5. catherinehirst

    I now want Sid and his pouty face to go, go, go. Actually sat up straight and said “Ohmigod!” watching Michael’s dance. Pasha looked pretty sexy with that scruffy beard and now his hair’s grown back in, he’s back to being utterly fanciable. Hurrah!

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Giant clumps of pubes sellotaped to people’s cheekbones aren’t really my THING, but the sort of thing that people are drawn to on these Hallowe’en Shows always baffles me. Don’t even get me STARTED on flipping “guyliner”.

      Reply
  6. Left Feet

    I’m not quite as down on the show as some I always like this week for the costumes and makeup its fun Saturday night entertainment. Great to see Wiggy Michael and Pendledrama step it up Nat and Brenda also did a good job in training them. First time I saw something in Louis maybe playing the part of one of the Undead helped him their was not much heat in their tango but at least he tried to perform, a dance with no smiling is good for him.

    Reply
    1. Carl

      I saw so many “worst show ever!” posts yesterday and I wasn’t sure why. The VTs suck, but there was some good dancing, not the worst music choices, and once they got past the death spirals of the likes of Sid and Fern, there was some energy. Surely there have been much worse weeks than this.

      I’d really like to see Louis and Flavia dancing together in a way which doesn’t seem like highly skilled technicians who can’t wait to be away from each other. They’re set up as the frontrunners but I just think they and Denise/James both seem out of place on the show. I’m much more interested in some of the also-rans (Michael/Natalie), or even the likely hopeless cases who might get it together (Nicky/Karen).

      Reply
      1. Left Feet

        Yeah loads in series 6 and 7, I gave up watching those series by the end. Once it got to Michael things were good and I liked the show. Strictly has always been a silly show, I think some fans take it way too seriously. Got to admit I have at times but it helps that his year I really don’t care who wins.

      2. monkseal Post author

        Louis always seems a bit like he’s dancing with his mum (no offence to Flavia, who is still a YOUNG AND VIBRANT WOMAN). That Dirty Dancing stuff last week cemented it for me.

      3. catherinehirst

        “I’d really like to see Louis and Flavia dancing together in a way which doesn’t seem like highly skilled technicians who can’t wait to be away from each other.”

        YES. This. You put it exactly right. Drives me crazy that he seems to loathe her and can’t muster up enthusiasm for any of it. He’s a very good dancer but if he didn’t want to do the show, why the F is he there??

  7. Dancing Cake

    Sid had only just started when I yelled “Hold the bloody thing as if you mean it!” at the screen – if he couldn’t even get to grips with his ghostgun, it was obviously going to be all downhill. Surely it couldn’t all be down to a different training partner? (Especially the lovely Iveta.) He just looked like he couldn’t be bothered.

    We missed out “swivelling his eyes from side to side” on the list of things for The Man in the Hat to do, but I’m still convinced he reads Monkseal. (Hello, MITH!)

    And my, doesn’t that make-up artist hate Denise? *sniggers* I couldn’t stop staring at her – truly the most horrible image of the night.

    Reply
    1. durnovarian

      At least Denise had ditched the lacy-topped hold-up stockings she was wearing in the dress rehearsal pictures for plain black tights – made her look marginally less like the cheapest hooker in town… :O

      And I’m with you, MITH **definitely** reads this blog!

      Reply
      1. Poppy

        It wasn’t just Denise’s make up. What was that…thing…over Nat’s left eye? I couldn’t stop looking at it the whole time. I also found Michael’s drawn-on moustache a bit distracting. It looked like it had been done by a small child. Perhaps it had.

      2. monkseal Post author

        None of the eye make-up made ANY SENSE. It was like they thought “well we could do stuff that’s actually appropriate to the character the person is supposed to be playing….NAH, LET’S JUST SCRIBBLE ON THEIR EYELIDS INSTEAD! ANY OLD BOLLOCKS WILL DO! DRAW A WILLY ON HIM!”

    2. monkseal Post author

      To be fair, those clearly weren’t authentic ghost guns. If you can’t get the real thing, then it’s hard to fake it. I don’t think that was even real ectoplasm splurging the camera at the end.

      Reply
  8. Poppy

    Was it just me yelling “Mashed potatoes!” when Lisa looked through Robin’s legs? And they paid another little homage to Ola at the end with the tease that they would do the swimming thing that Chola did.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Chola is the best name for that pairing ever. It’s a shame Ola never themed one of their Latin dances that way. Proper hair and day-glo pants and nail-file and everything.

      Reply
  9. Neio

    I quite enjoyed this Halloween week (and not just for Artem as a sexy bondage-y Huntsman from Snow White. Although that did help.) Dani and Vincent’s Scooby Doo Cha-Cha was fun I thought, and Michael’s transformation was incredible. I guess it’s just Latin he’s bad at.

    In many ways I preferred Erin and Richard’s Paso to Kimberley and Pasha’s. It just seemed more like a Paso, even if they aren’t as good. Nicky seems to be getting better, and I liked their routine.

    I do wonder if Sid might be in trouble this week – he was pretty bad. Perhaps understandably given the training situation this week, but still.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Richard’s paso was basically Austin’s paso on steroids. I don’t know how Erin got through it with a straight face.

      Reply
  10. Min

    Was the place Denise and James went to for their comedy VT the same place as used for a reward treat on The Apprentice? It seemed familiar.

    Reply
  11. Carl

    The opening number should have brought Nancy back as Morticia. I enjoyed the opener this week but Nancy was the highlight last time and was missed (they could bring Harry as Gomez back too, I wouldn’t complain).

    The part of the show I liked the most was that when Craig had to praise Michael and Natalie, he just applauded and quietly told them they were good. I thought it was a very classy way for him to keep the focus on them.

    Len finally seems to be dropping the SEVAHN gimmick.

    Reply
    1. Left Feet

      Not exactly constuctive from Craig though? I think that Darcey and Bruno can go on too long but I do dislike Craig when he gives short comments which they can’t work on and does not help them at all.

      Reply
      1. Carl

        I think Craig might have taken a break from constructive advice after Darcey kept schoolmarming “No” at him.

    2. monkseal Post author

      They appear to have styled Karen (Hauer) as Nancy. She had the infamous goblet as well.

      I did like the bit where Bruce went “you didn’t do your SEVUHN, Len!!!” and Len basically said “yeah, everyone was bored of that, weren’t they?”. I’m sure it won’t last.

      Reply
  12. JB

    Someone needs to add a rule to the Strictly drinking game along the lines of:

    (i) Darcey tells Craig he’s completely wrong – 1 finger
    (ii) Having done this, Darcey uses words to the effect of “…but Craig is right in that…” – 2 fingers
    (iii) Having done both (i) and (ii), Craig and Darcey give the dance the exact same mark – down drink.

    Probably best to make sure you don’t use alchohol if you include the above rule, if only for the sake of the nation’s livers.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      The best thing with Darcey is that you can create a new drinking game every week. First week it was “yah?”, second week it was “nerves”, last week it was “that was so much better than last week!”, and now it’s “tell Craig he’s wrong then mark the dance the same”. Who KNOWS what will be next?

      Reply

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