Our opening Pro-Dance this week initially looks like it’s going to be this series very archtypal very tasteful old-school Anton & Erin ballroom, but sadly we don’t even get this certainty these days, as a whole ARMY of Tom Chambers rampage over the horizon like a marauding synod and sweep them aside. Anton attempts to hold them back via the power of tap-dancing, but in the end there are just too many of them, and sadly Erin is overwhelmed and carried off in the flood. This is two weeks in a row now, poor things. It’s not exactly a vintage series for them already, and we’re only a quarter of the way through.
Our backstage spy Claudia again finds out very little of interest. She has an excuse this week though, given that most of the segment is spent on her and Louis sharing some sort of vibrating sex toy and fudding themselves into a state of ecstacy up against the nearest wall. I guess it’s as good a way to spend your time as any. Also Tess remains annoyed at Claudia snooping around backstage which I don’t really GET as a joke. Is Tess worried she’s after her job? Unfortunately, she probably shouldn’t be.
Our guest singer this week is Dionne Warwick who is on balance probably my favourite pop singer of all time, singing “(There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me” which is, on balance, one of my favourite pop songs of all time, and it’s accompanied by Pasha & Iveta, and I think we all know how I feel about them. Sadly her voice is shot (I was going to say “AndyWilliamsed” but I decided it was too soon) and for some reason the pros are trying to do a jive. It’s not as epicmazing as it could be, but this isn’t Strictly 1964 (“dancing the foxtrot, will Kathy Kirby TAKE TO THE FLOOR”) so I’ll take what I can get and maybe go and listen to her original recording of “Walk On By” and hug myself a little.
After advance notice that next week is Hallowe’en Week, and also that Denise hosts the absolute WORST house parties, it’s time to find out our Bottom Two. After the usual pre-amble, including Victoria riding the wire of sanity ever tighter, it’s Jerry Hall vs Michael Vaughan in the Bottom Two. Bruno’s inability to vote out a sexy willowy leggy woman remains true, but the other three come down on the side of Michael, so Anton is taking an early bath, which he doesn’t seem all too ungrateful to be taking. And not for the first time.