Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Monkies Voting

The biggest (and therefore, by rule of reality tv, the best) Monkies ever!

We start with the reveal of your Strictly Safety Sex-Face Finallists…

Bloody Lulu

(NB : decisions were made by management regarding which were the most memorable and integral uses of props by each dancing couple. We offer no refunds if you thought Alex Jones rising off a slab when she was BROUGHT TO LIFE was like really clever and stuff)

(NB : If you need reminding what happened in each week, the wikipedia page is here

(NB : skip the following brackets if you’re one of those people who complain that the way I run votes is ever “confusing”. It’s technical blog poll gubbins. Just pick your 5 dances and remember, as always, try to spread your love)

(NB : The following is the dance for Best Dance of the series. Long-time Monkseal readers will remember the 24-hour repechage, where the dances that almost qualified for each celebrity fought it out to squeak their way onto the poll. This year… 5 slots were opened up through “None Of The Above” voting, and 5 celebrities had dances “almost qualify” (the rest had “None Of The Above” be their “just 1 vote off”). As such, Alex, Holly, Jason, Chelsee and Harry will all have an extra dance qualify via a 0-hour repechage)

34 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Monkies Voting

  1. Ann B

    Have voted in all categories, apart from Worst VT’s which, for some reason, I can remember nothing about. One time when middle/old age and a selective short term memory comes in very useful. Thanks for entertaining me all series with your blog.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I envy those for whom the Comedy VT bounces off the brain. That awful “hilarious” cover of Livin La Vida Loca is still bumping round inside my brain.

      To be fair, so is that awful song featured in the Final “The Public Sez” VT for the Series 6 final, and that was 3 years ago now, and one line long.

      (“We like Lisa, BUT WE LIKE TO-OH-OM. We fancy Rachel, she’s got a nicer *DRUM HIT* *DOUCHEBAG FACE*”)

  2. Ferny

    I think we all know who’s getting worst celebrity personality……

    And on a completely unrelated note (…) Lulu’s sex face photo is hilarious. And I’ve never seen Anton looking so miserable.

  3. Mrs Chant (@Lollykittypants)

    I struggled with ‘Most Bullshit Elimination’ as for all they tried to say Lulu was A SHOCK!!! I feel they left in the right order this year. I mean, I personally would have liked Nancy and Russell to have swapped order, but I can see why the GBP felt differently. You can always quibble that the ‘comedy’ contestants should go first, but pffft to that. There has to be a bit of fun., and I don’t think it cost anyone this year.

    1. monkseal Post author

      It does feel a mite superfluous this year, but what is a series of Strictly without bellowing a “WUZZROBBED” or two.

    2. Carl

      I just went with Nancy and Holly…I think. I almost went for Rory and Nancy, but I really wanted to see Holly in the final.

  4. KW

    I dunno why Holly’s “safety-sex-face” pic cracks me up so much. Her face is going “oooh!”, while he’s puliing a derp-face, haha.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Please remember this is the week he was on NUCLEAR amounts of painkillers. They can, erm, affect performance.

  5. Carl

    Looking over the list of VT horrors reminds me that Jason’s became less soul-destroying as the weeks went on. I wonder if they listened to viewer complaints.

    I had to go with Holly and Artem’s Halloween VT for one of these, because it was just so laughably bad, especially the ending that didn’t even bother to finish Holly’s sentence. Unfortunately I forgot to vote for “LOL Harry’s walking around in a Carmen Miranda top”.

    Always love Anita’s sex face, although I’ve seen way too much of Robin with his mouth hanging open.

    Not a great year for guests. All downhill from Dolly. The other I just chose the pro dance I most enjoyed (Caro Emerald).

    1. monkseal Post author

      Compared to the bad old days of Andy Williams slaughtering Moon River with a hacksaw and chisel, it was fairly good I thought. I am at peace with the fact that we’re never getting Beyonce ever again. Almost.

  6. Jen

    Jason pretty much tops the board for everything – except the “Personality I’d most like to meet in real life” category.

  7. Neio

    I was spoiled for choice in the Worst Celebrity – Talent category. There were about five I was tempted to vote for. And I don’t even include Nancy in that. (She gets a pass from me due to sheer entertainment).

    Lulu’s Safety Sex Face still cracks me up. And Robin’s I just don’t want to think about.

  8. Shuddupfluffy

    Best pro dance evah is the Gladiator dance….

    ….I’ve decided I’d like the VT of it played at my funeral, to make it a memorable occasion!

  9. jean

    I think that this year we had really great pro dances.Most of them involving team Kasha, Flav. and Vincent:).The worst pro dance has to be the “girls vs boys” routines, just awful and it was not even surprising to me to learn that Aliona choreographed the girls routine.
    For the worst VT, too many to choose I will say most Jason’s VTs,although Chelsee’s Eliza and clown Vts were pretty bad/cringeworthy.
    Best personality and talent for me has to be Chelsee:).And Harry will be second.What I especially like this year is the fact that most of them were pretty lovely/they seem like a nice bunch except Blulu(Ugrhhhh that woman!!!!).
    Nancy is mad in her own way lol but at least shes entertaining.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Certainly it was a better series for pro dances than last year. People disparage the dance troupe (and with good reason) but the top 10 routines from last series had a veritable fist-ful from them in there, because everyone else was even worse.

  10. Kat

    One thing you can say this year was that there were very few bs eliminations – in fact I only voted for was Rory’s which is the only one where I didn’t think ‘that was fair’ and no one lingered too badly past their sell-by date except Nancy and maybe Russell . I don’t understand how anyone can say Nancy’s was bs – she was rubbish funny in a way but rubbish. Holly debatable but a sacrifice worth it to see Kristina chereograph a showdance she didn’t disapoint. Like Mrs Chant I didn’t buy the judges spiel about Lulu was pretty poor and Audley at least was more likeable. Other good things were that I hard time narrowing down the list of nicest celeb to two (most of them were this year) and the most talented was reasonably hard fought too.

    Bad things about this year – picking the most rubbish VT’s was hard too it would be have easier to vote for the least rubbish.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I think it’s the first series the top 7 overall were the judges top 7. And, if you switch Robbie and Anita around, in the same order as well. It’s hard to carve a BS elimination from that really.

  11. isolde

    I thought Edwina’s going was a bit BS. Her goodbye dance showed that she had some rhythm, so maybe Vincent shouldn’t have tried to make her a comedy contestant, and actually given her some steps.

    1. Carl

      I had some hope for Edwina at first. I think the comedy VT and her antics with the judges were what sunk her. Vincent looked miserable with her, which just made everything worse.

      1. Wiskas

        I got Edwina in the sweepstake at work, but even so I was thrilled to see her go. Even though it cost me £10.

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