Strictly Come Dancing – Final Summary

So…a final that looked like it would most likely end Harry-Chelsee-Jason going in ACTUALLY finished…well Harry-Chelsee-Jason, but wait, don’t stop reading yet, some stuff definitely happened.

Mostly a lot of VTs, but also stuff. Including a homoerotic Gladiator based showdance where the finallists are drawn in by pack-pros. It’s the only time all evening that either Harry or Pasha’s nipples are exposed. WHAT SORT OF NONSENSE FINAL IS THIS? Anyway, the stuff.

For starters, the reprises. The first round consists of Jason’s tango, Harry’s quickstep and Chelsee’s jive (with Pasha wearing only (well not only, sadly, but you get what I mean) the Shrek ears and a few green smears on his face, somehow even more inappropriate than the first time when he had the full make-up job), notionally the judges favourites of their dances. They’re all actually a little underpowered compared to the first time they were performed, although both the quickstep and the jive benefit from the Extra Bounce afforded to them by Blackpool. Harry gets his Perfect 40, Chelsee settles for 39 again, and Jason gets a 38.

Next up…the showdances. Aliona does a boring lift-fest with drums at the end, Pasha does a boring lift-fest on a disco theme which Chelsee shakes and stumbles through, and it’s left to Kristina to pull out all the stops and unleash a GURNING TSUNAMI with Jason at the centre, in the Hollins/Chambers tradition. Tragically Jason isn’t quite able to rise to the occasion, as his dancing is sloppy and out of time and tired. Still enough for the best showdance of the evening, and a perfect score, and enough to provoke a flurry of bets on him to win, crashign his odds in from 25-1 to almost 8-1 in places over the course of the show.

Sadly for Kristina it’s not enough, and they finish 3rd. At least she can console herself with the fact that she literally could not have done more for her celeb. Because the doctors advised against it. And me? I will never be smugger about the whole “Showdances Make No Difference” thing, because it is TROO AND YOU KNOWS IT!

Kristina’s first jaunt to the final out the way, it’s down to Chelsee vs Harry, and Pasha vs Aliona. But not before a bunch of filler VTs about journeys and who the public fancy and HEY REMEMBER WHEN RUSSELL GOT FIRED OUT OF THAT CANNON LOL. There’s also a group dance by the loser celebs, but it’s built around Robbie mostly, which is a decision that confuses me somewhat. Everyone else wanders around looking bored, there’s a few RUSSELL IS FAT jokes, and Nancy lurches out of her coffin spectacularly.

New dances? It’s an American Smooth for Harry vs a rumba for Chelsee. The American Smooth is very good, but who didn’t know Harry could do ballroom by now? A couple of awkward lift transitions mean it’s a 9 from Craig for an overall score of 39. Your opinion of Chelsee’s rumba I guess depends on how integrated you think her nerves (which are OFF THE CHARTS all evening) are into her performance. I guess I was too nervous for her at that point to take it as all being part of the show. Again, a 9 from Craig makes 39.

Final reprises are the Argentine Tango for Harry, and the Quickstep for Chelsee. Chelsee nails her quickstep, although the camerawork is a little all over the place, and the whole reason for Harry to reprise his Argentine Tango (to piss off Len…KARA STYLE) is ruined when Len decides he loves it and they get a Perfect Score for it. What was the BLAHDDY point of that then? I ask you…

The result? A McFly win, with Aliona’s obligatory Female Winner Pro Freak-Out WOEFULLY underpowered. Fortunately McFlea are there to make up for it, charging the dance-floor screeching like rabid gibbons and driven off by Bruce, possibly with a broom. He’s not my favourite winner, but he’s probably my favourite winner who I didn’t want to win. If you see what I mean.

Can we start lining up the ringers for Team Ka$ha next series already please? (Oh and get Craig some Alka-Seltzer? He was clearly hungover all evening, and I doubt Lulu’s After-Series Party is going to make things any better).

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55 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing – Final Summary

  1. rodneyandsteptoe

    For me, exactly the right result all series – Chelsee actually under performed all night and Jason stepped up a notch, to the extent that I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had been in the top 2 with Harry. Harry deserved winner – must admit I thought that would happen ever since he won the Children in Need special with the Paso. Does this mean that Susanna Reid will be winning the next series? (here’s hoping she’s in it!).

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I wonder what dance they’d make her not do. It was hard picking out any sort of…style in that group routine.

      Reply
  2. Carl

    I just started and immediately began cringing/laughing/cringing with the opening pro dance. Possibly their worst singing yet, and Robin’s mouth hanging open again, then the endearing and very rickety entrance of the finalists, being carted like they were in a zero budget Amazing Race. I think they tried to cover as much of Harry’s chest as they could to avoid more waxing questions. Poor Vincent looked broken when he had to cart Pasha and Chelsee in. That used to be his playground/chariot.

    Reply
  3. Verns

    Jeez – the pro dancers as slave pack-mules at the Coliseum was a low point. I’d give it the thumbs down but don’t want to give the producers ideas. Luckily the show picked up and I thoroughly enjoyed it all, particularly the judges’ determination to give their pre-arranged scores no matter what the contestants actually did in the way of dancing. Such a shame about Chelsee’s nervous breakdown, but totally agree that, of all the winners I didn’t want to win, Harry was the least objectionable. Nobody wuz robbed at all this year – is that a Strictly first?

    Reply
  4. Missfrankiecat

    Gurn tsunami and McFly gibbon troup say it all! Harry worthy winner on the night and overall. Chelsee was such a vulnerable character that, helped along by Pash’s winsome choreography, we were kidded into thinking she was better than she was, but the nerves and four dances exposed her essential sloppiness and lack of stamina. A very endearing partnership though.

    Reply
    1. Carl

      I agree more and more of the reaction towards Chelsee was based on her vulnerability and her personality, but I think she was a very gifted natural dancer. I don’t feel like the last half of the series really spotlighted this, due to nerves or to how the show smothered her – for me she peaked at that first quickstep, which was sublime.

      Reply
    2. monkseal Post author

      I thought it exposed her lack of ability to learn too many new concepts in one go. Watching back, her jive and quickstep were fine – both of the new dances were a mess. Then again there was nothing much new in either of Harry’s “new” dances. Probably a wise move by Aliona to basically reprise their jive (with ugly lifts) and Viennese Waltz (with ugly lifts).

      Reply
  5. Serenity Now!

    That pro-dance was really something, I’m unclear what exactly, although I did enjoy Anton and Vincent as the shy Gladiators, like the kids in swimming lessons who kept their t-shirt on.

    Reply
    1. Poppy

      I assumed that Vincent had been instructed from on high to keep his top on in order that Anton (who possibly had one side waxed and then, like Joey Tribiani, couldn’t bear to carry on) didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. In normal circumstances, I don’t think Vincent’s ever voluntarily fought shy of a bit of gratuitious nipple wielding.

      Reply
      1. Caroline

        Hee hee, I’m going to try to work the phrase ‘gratuitous nipple wielding’ into conversation tomorrow.

  6. Kelly

    Chelsee was my favourite this series but nerves definitely got to her last night, she just didn’t seem on it at all. I got shouted down for suggesting she performed the jive better first time round but I will maintain I’m right! I still voted for her.

    I think that the only routines I’ll remember from this series in say, two weeks, (two days?) will be her jive, her quickstep (loved this!) Harry’s quickstep and Jason’s showdance. On that basis, the right 3 got to the final for me. There are still too many couples for my liking, which I think is why I find it difficult to remember dances. Most of them are just meh, like human VTs.

    In conclusion – bring back Pasha next year!

    Reply
      1. Kelly

        Thanks! So many times I feel I’m watching a different Strictly to everyone else, glad you’re watching it too!

      1. Kelly

        Do you know, I was out on WEMBLEY night and watched it on Iplayer after – when I promptly skipped through his dance! I was so over Russell by then.

    1. monkseal Post author

      Make sure to hold on to your memory for Monkie voting, which opens just after Christmas. Or just before. I’m still unsure on whether there will be a repechage round this year…

      Reply
  7. jspanero

    Chelsee underperformed but she did really excel with her rumba which was miles away in intensity than any other this year (partly because she looked like she was going to COLLAPSE at any point).

    My boyfriend and I played a drinking game every time Jason mentioned his “family” or his “kids” – SHAMELESS GRANNY VOTE CHASER! Compare it to poor Chelsee’s dead dad which she never mentioned ONCE.

    Reply
    1. Poppy

      I spent the whole of Chelsee’s rumba waiting for her to be choked, Isadora Duncan style, by that weird bandage thing that was wrapped round her wrist and tied to her shoulder. Had she suffered a boken collar bone in rehearsal?

      Reply
    2. monkseal Post author

      I considered a drinking game every time Bruce said that they were all winners but I would have ACTUALLY DIED.

      Reply
  8. Left Feet

    Sadly you could not make a case for Chelsee winning last night, to have any chance she had to be at her best and she wasn’t,nerves I think. Harry was competent in his quickstep which I thought was the best dance last night.
    The only dance I have rewatched is the homoerotic Gladiator dance, just when you think that the show could not get any more camp or over the top. Robin really got into it with that net! Mcprat as rabid gibbons yep got that right.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      You could tell the cameras really wanted to just stay on Robin throughout because he was the only one who really looked like he was taking it seriously amongst the men, or was really built for the Big Burly Fighter role.

      Reply
  9. Poppy

    I absolutely *loved* the gladiator chariot thing. Especially the little nets. I thought: well done the choreographers for doing a little bit of ancient history research, I wonder which Roman author they read to discover that? Tacitus? Livy? A bit of Sallust perhaps? Then I realised they’d probably watched the movie.

    Jason seemed a little bit stiff to me all evening, and unfortunately for me I was underwhelmed by his showdance. I think I shall have to watch it again to see if I can appreciate it properly second time round. He was good, but he was outclassed, I felt.

    I thought Chelsee was a bit at sea. She did a fantastic job, but everything was just a little bit sloppy. Her Quickstep was a real joy, though. Especially the way Pasha practically ripped his jacket off at the end to get to the ticket.

    I loved almost everything Harry did, except the showdance, which left me a bit ‘Eh?’. I loved his AS, AT, and the other one that I’ve forgotten. I particularly loved the one I’ve forgotten. So many dances to remember…wanders off in a daze…

    Reply
    1. Verns

      Ooh, I missed the little nets! *scurries back to re-watch*

      I think the gladiators with nets and tridents were called retiarii (singular retiarius) for which I thank neither Tacitus nor Livy, but Rosemary Sutcliffe…

      Talking of thanks, I completely forgot to thank Monkseal for what remains the funniest Strictly blog EVAH and an essential part of the whole Strictly experience. Thank you. Mwah!

      Reply
    2. Carl

      My eyes were on Kristina throughout the showdance. When I looked at Jason he just seemed exhausted. Being fair, he did give everything, it’s just the disparity between the two people dancing was so severe it almost became Weekend at Bernie’s by the end.

      Reply
  10. AWench

    The right result, I suppose, but like many others, I really didn’t mind who won out of the final two. This season is remarkable for the amount of rehabilitation that has been accomplished. There are still plenty of hatahs but Alesha is getting lots more love (keep the alcohol and nibbles coming). As for Aliona, well I’ve had a complete reversal on her for her stellar levels of Len-baiting. Trying to decide whether or not I’ve been manipulated by some clever producers…

    Perhaps all the warm feelings are a reaction to recession and general gloom but Holly, Pasha and Nancy have given me much pleasure too and I am left with a sort of soft and fuzzy glow. It’s been very …. nice. But you have been great!

    Reply
  11. Penny

    Great treat to wake up and see the mini recap up already.

    I’m torn between being disappointed that Chelsee lost her form and sort of relieved, because it would have been sad if she’d danced impeccably and then been beaten by a horde of hormonal Harry fans anyway. It enables me to be pleased that my preferred candidate won fair and square. It’s sort of like Dummygate – it would perhaps have been worse if Colin had done the perfect showdance and still lost (which he would have done).

    Also torn between wanting to see your full recap with all the pictures NOW (especially the gladiators and Jason’s showdance) and wanting you to take your time and do the longest recap ever, because once it’s up and I’ve read it twice and got funny looks on the tube for giggling then Strictly will be officially Over for the year (no, anything involving Sue Pollard doesn’t count).

    Reply
    1. Penny

      On reading that back it seems to imply that I was Team Gough – under threat of banishment I must make it clear that I was very very much Team Colin.

      Reply
  12. Kirstie

    Laughed the whole way through the gladiator pro dance. The only thing that could have made it camper is if they threw Harry to the lions. And by lion, I mean Russell dressed up as one.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      They read out that he got the most votes in the semis, then the maths meant that he had to have got the most votes in the first half of the final (you are truly blessed if you’ve forgotten the effing stupid maths they resorted to in order to appease the rampaging Lisa/Rachel fans rather than just going it on public vote), then he got the most votes in the end. It really, truly, didn’t make a difference, except maybe to the margin of victory.

      Reply
  13. Carl

    I’m not sure I’ve cringed so much through any group dance as I did with the return dance last night. Poor Rory – super super awkward. When he was shimmying out to join the others, looking like he was at gunpoint, I wanted someone to give him a big hug. And then we had one final LOLGAY joke with Russell being carried tandem with Anita and Lulu. When I saw Lulu being swung back and forth I wondered how many were willing her to be catapaulted from the stage.

    Very happy Harry won, especially after that last quickstep and Argentine Tango. And he and Aliona looked so stunning in their last outfits. I usually don’t notice things like that but for whatever reason he seemed to get on the wardrobe people’s good side most of the series.

    This year I will also remember for being Passion of the Kristina. She truly gave all she had in that showdance. I wished she’d gotten a trophy of her own.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Will she be resurrected in 2012 and ascend to heaven? It’s a hook for next series anyway. Maybe she can partner Rowan Williams?

      Reply
      1. Carl

        Watching again Dan Lobb looks even worse. These poor men, even those who spend 5000 hours benchpressing, looked like they were jiggling. I think the wardrobe people were doing primal scream therapy.

  14. acantha

    I loved the Gladiator theme if only for the revelatory vision of Vincent Simone as a ponyboy. I want him for myself NOW! I agree completely with your view that Harry is the best winner of the people I didn’t want to win. I was rooting for Chelsee but nerves did get the better of her and I too thought that the jive didn’t have quite the punch it had the first time. She and Pasha are still my fave couple though and I was sad for Kristina that she didn’t make it to the final two – their showdance was far and away the best dance of the night, despite Harry’s impeccable performances.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I think it was probably the best note for him to go out on given that his next dance on the board would have been salsambcha.

      Reply
  15. Dancing cake

    Not my favourite series, but helped hugely by your recaps, Monkseal, thank you. Special mention for “Ding ding! The schadenfreude bus is now boarding!” when Jason was in the bottom two. I tried SO hard to just get over his “I’ll die in the attempt” attitude (and oh my, he so nearly did in the showdance) but he had a Death Eater effect on me. Usually I can just let the celebs’ “personalities” flow over me, but not in this case. Never have so many cups of tea been made during ITT interviews.

    It was so obvious that Harry would win that I was just rooting (ok, voting) for Chelsee to be runner-up and not third, but she looked overcome by nerves, poor little mite, and I didn’t think the lovely Pasha did enough with the showdance. (Nor did Aliona, but at least there was no custard.)

    So for me, the right winner on the night.

    But poor Joe. Poor, poor Joe.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I did vote like MAD in between shows and then when it came to start again with the final two it became…suddenly and sharply obvious how futile it would have been to throw another ¬£10 down the Chelsee fund, like waking up from a dream.

      Reply
  16. AWench

    Heh, heh. Just been over on the DS board and saw your plaintive protest over the following: “Statistically, the size of the DS poll is sufficient to get a very high degree of confidence. The answer is therefore that the profile of the average DS contributor is very different from the profile of the GBP.”

    Nice to see that you paid attention during your research methods classes. Gold star.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      The drive from people for Digital Spy to be a population of “importance” that predicts the result or is a separate population of twitchy eyed half-breeds makes me a little verklempt. I mean…it’s not as though they were rooting for ANITA is it (apart from those first few confusing weeks when they all went bonkers).

      Reply
  17. Ferny

    Overall, a very good series – I was excited at the beginning but the middle kind of lulled because there were so many middling/average dancers to boot off first. Then it ended well. Don’t really know a solution to this, but it would have been better with a few less old women and a few more younger contestants with ‘potential’ so they could get better throughout rather than starting off really bad or really good.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      The middle really was not fun. I guess last year we had the Widdy Witch-Hunt at its height to carry us all along.

      Reply

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